Looking for someone to do a Religious ceremony, but no Religion please...

My sister left the most confusing facebook post. She starts out with a long rant how she's not religious and doesn't believe in any faith. She goes further into talking about how it offends her when people try to push their beliefs on her.

Then she stated she was looking for a church to baptize her baby 'Just in Case', but repeatedly stated she won't have her family attend the church or any classes involved.

Somehow I'm the bad guy for suggesting I just splash some water on the kid and call it a day.