Spread Laughter and Cure Boredom

Stuff that happened at work tonight

1)Walking through dance floor girl turns me around grabs lump in my pants strokes it, winks, I reach down remove the torch that she just stroked from my pocket, wink back, she runs off into crowd.
2) Replacing toilet paper in women's toilets as we had no female staff on, girl walks out of cubicle across from the one I'm in, looks at me shocked and says 'oh sh*t, did I walk into the men's?'
3) guy come to the bar and asked for some Japanese scotch, told him it doesn't exist and explain that it's called 'scotch' because it's from Scotland, and the spirit is called whisk(e)y, he demands to speak my manager and yells about how all he wants is Japanese scotch, he was asked to leave for causing a scene.
4) girl asked for a free drink, I said 'I can't', she said 'what about now?' and pulled her top down I said 'sure' and handed her a water.