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Screw your Concrete Canoe! We have Toxic Algae!

My REE (Renewable Energy Engineering) program is like the Soviet Russia of my schools engineering programs because:

Our equipment is outdated and shotty,
Our members are exhausted and on the brink of collapse,
Our women are hardy and our men lack emotion,
We don't have enough materials for everyone, and
Although in theory the work we're trying to accomplish is a good idea, in practice, our designs don't hold up against other systems.