SAFE MODE

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I'm sick and tired of this s**t.

So I just went into Greggs (The bakery) and asked for a black coffee. I looked around at all the delicious cakes until it was ready, paid, and left. A few steps outside the door, when I tentatively sipped the boiling liquid, I noticed it didn't taste right.
I took the top off, to reveal coffee that had clearly had milk added. I took it back in and said I asked for black coffee. She said it was. Apparently, "Black coffee is brown coffee. Like skin colour, they're not always black, are they?"

Welcome to Es***.