1. Back in my Best Buy days, a woman came in complaining that her iPod had a virus. I turn it on and it's working fine. She says it only appears when she connects it to her PC, so I hook it up to our machine.
It connects, and the "Do not disconnect" message appears, complete with red "no" symbol.
"There! That's the virus! What does that mean?"
2. It was amusing listening to a waiter at an IHOP try to explain to a customer why they couldn't order "Never ending pancakes" to go.
3. Worked at Best Buy about 4 years ago for a summer. A lady came in insisting that her son wanted a Playstation 3. Then she saw the Wii stearing wheel and said "That will work with the Playstation right?" I told her that the Wii is a different console made by a different company -so no it wouldn't work. She snidely says "Oh. So I have to buy a whole different console from you guys JUST for it to work? Typical." then she adds "But you gotta make commission somehow right?" and walks away.
4. Working at a book store.
CUSTOMER : Do you sell the Bible here?
ME : Yes we do. Which version would you like?
CUSTOMER : The Bible.
ME : Yes, I understand, which version?
CUSTOMER : The one Jesus wrote.
5. I used to work at RadioShack and I had a lady come in and ask for a radio capable of getting broadcasts from the middle east. I showed her a few, she purchased it and asked me to help her tune it. I found some stations from various middle eastern sources, tuned them as she stood there with this puzzled look on her face. I asked what was wrong and she looked at me with this seriously grim expression and said,
"How am I supposed to track terrorists if they don't speak American."
6. "Thank you for calling Starbucks, this is Jeff. How can I help you?"
"Yes, where are you located?"
"We're at the corner of Main and Magnolia."
"And where is that."
"Do you know where Main Street is?"
"Do you know where Magnolia Avenue is?"
"That's where we are."
"Well I'm standing at that intersection and I can't find your store. Is it underground or something?" [looks out the window and sees a woman who looks lost]
"Ma'am, turn to your left. Do you see a man in a green apron waving at you?" [begins waving at her]
"That man is inside a Starbucks. Go there."
"That's not Starbucks. That's Quizno's."
"Ma'am, I'm very confident I'm in a Starbucks right now."
"You're not very helpful."
7. Lady called in to tell me that her computer had been taken over by the Matrix. I asked her to move her mouse. "Omg! It's back to my normal desktop screen! What happened?"
"Ma'am, someone installed a Matrix screensaver on your computer. Anything else I can help you with today?"
8. When working at Wal-Mart electronics around 8 years ago, I dealt with a sudden torrent of people returning wireless products. They were furious that these devices needed to be plugged in to charge. I had customers insisting that the other employees said their phone/keyboard/controller/etc. would "absorb electricity" from sockets as they walked around the house.
We had to put up "wireless devices do not charge wirelessly" signs around the entire department.