So I bumped into an old high school friend today. He instantly started showing off - talking about his well paid job, his vacation home, his huge mansion, and his expensive sports car.
Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend."
He smirked and said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"
I said, "No, she's an optician."