A few days after she died, my mum was sitting at the kitchen table just weeping inconsolably and Ben just walked up quietly and put his head on her lap. When she leaned in he started licking her tears and trying to get at her ears to make her laugh. Without him, I don’t think we would have got through those days. We talk about him all of the time so even though I can’t hold him or go to the river and see him stick his face under water, he’s always with us. He was the very best boy."