What's worse, a horrific landlord insulting your dead mother, or your bathroom collapsing in on itself in the middle of the night? Imagine experiencing both at once, and then receiving sudden job loss as your consolation prize. Poor Kevin and Kate, this couple didn't deserve to struggle this much. Kevin's story details how he and his then wife were subjected to this cruel and unusual punishment by their landlord and the landlord's mother. The beleaguered couple were the only ones able to get revenge, and they were determined to make it as memorable and satisfying as possible. They took their time to make sure this landlord and his mother were completely and utterly annihilated for their heinous actions. Take note people, these techniques should be studied. This couple is an inspiration to vengeful people everywhere."
Newlyweds Kevin and Kate moved into, well, not their forever home, but it would do. It was a renovated town house, split by two apartments on the first floor, and another two on the second. Kevin recalled how, "I wasn’t the biggest fan of the apartment, as it was a much older building that I had ever lived in, but I quickly adjusted to the wood creaking throughout the night."
The only serious problem, aside from the wood creaks, was an ominous dip in the bathroom ceiling. The landlord promised he would fix that dip as soon as possible. But this landlord had a seedy energy to him, so let's call him Harold. There was no way that you could trust Harold. Apparently, "as soon as possible" meant well over a year, because Harold completely forgot about this issue. And sure enough, exactly a year to the day, the bathroom ceiling completely caved in. To make it even better, this happened at four in the morning, waking up Kevin and Kate with a fright. Tiles and wood piled up all over the floor and into the bathtub. Forget horror movies, this was actually terrifying to experience. There was no more bathroom to speak of.
Kate was the first to take action and repeatedly called Harold throughout the day. It took until nine in the evening for her to actually get a hold of Harold. Instead of the smooth talking landlord she and Kevin first encountered, she now had to listen to a pathetic dweeb. Harold shouted at Kate that his girlfriend was a lawyer, so he wouldn't have to do anything. Looks like Kate and Kevin would have to get used to peeing on a pile of wood! Naturally, Kevin was just as upset. That fateful evening was the start of an epic battle. It was Kevin and Kate vs. Harold and his mother, who was the original landlord of the building. If you thought superhero blockbusters were action-packed, then you clearly haven't read this story yet. Just wait until you see what else is in store for the unhappy couple!
Just as Kevin was about to dial Harold, he realized something. Getting into the screaming match he so desperately wanted to have with Harold wouldn't actually get him anywhere. If he wanted to get the bathroom back, then he needed to smooth talk Harold and act like they were friends. Gross. Kevin called Harold, using a relaxed and conversational tone. Harold totally fell for it, happy to talk to a fellow "bro". Harold kept telling Kevin how, "Dude, I'm gonna get someone out there, but it'll take a few weeks!"
That wasn't good enough for Kevin, and it wouldn't be good enough for anyone else! Kevin tried to steer the conversation towards a faster response. Unfortunately, that only ticked off Harold, who repeated how his girlfriend was a lawyer, and she definitely knew law things. Great. What Harold and his lawyer girlfriend didn't know was that Kevin studied the tenant laws in his state, and he was well-prepared for a legal battle. Once Harold was done shouting, Kevin mentioned how the law stated, "If an apartment was considered uninhabitable, then the landlord needed to pay for the tenant to sty in a place until it was resolved. Meaning, Harold would pay for us to stay in a hotel of OUR choosing every night until the ceiling was fixed."
Naturally Harold tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, and he mentioned how the upstairs neighbor Phil was the super, but Harold probably couldn't get the guy to come down that night. With nothing else to say, Harold promptly hung up. Kevin joined Kate in their mutual fury. The next day, Kevin found Phil who laughed and said he definitely wasn't a super, just another tenant. Harold grumbled about how he could have some people work on the bathroom the next day, even though he previously stated it would be a few weeks. Kevin was appalled and wrote how, "If you're going to lie, then there has to be a consistency in your lie. AND make sure that the people you lie to DON'T communicate with each other."
Harold had been caught already, but Harold had been planning a far more brutal attack than the annihilation of that bathroom.
It took a year for Harold's next move. Despite Kevin and Kate constant questioning, Harold had disappeared from the apartment complex, making his elderly mother return to his position instead. By this point, Kevin and Kate had been laid off from their jobs, and they were just doing the best they could with government assistance. They were approved in April, but they wouldn't get the check they needed for rent until May. Harold didn't see the check for the rent in his mailbox, so he immediately summoned Kevin and Kate to court for eviction! The not so happy couple had no lawyer, but the case certainly didn't turn out how Harold anticipated.
The judge asked, "Does the defense have a means to pay within ninety days of non-payment?"
Kevin and Kate quickly said yes and handed over the paperwork showing that Harold would be reimbursed for April and May.
The judge replied, "I see no problem. They are breaking no laws. Why are we here?"
Harold tried to assert, "Well your honor, they have been bullying-"
"I don't care unless they are breaking a law! This case is dismissed!" the judge exclaimed.
Harold and his mother were quite upset by this news. But Kevin and Kate had bigger things to worry about. Kevin's mom had been battling lung cancer for quite a while, and she had recently lost that battle. After the court case, Harold's mom barged in on the couple one day, demanding payment. Kevin told her that they would drop off the check once they returned from the funeral home, and that she should really respect their right to mourn. Harold's mother's response? She took her fingers together and rubbed them, pretending to play the world's smallest violin. Harold would never forget the horrifying words this old woman would utter next.
Harold's mom spat out in a high-pitched squeal, "Oooohh, my mommy just died! Woe is me! She probably had it coming. I don't care if your entire family is dead, I want my money!"
It was like Harold's mom was proud of the literal hatred she spewed out. Kevin's heart jumped into his throat. He was beyond livid, so he simply grabbed the check and handed it to her. Kevin recalled how, "She had finally managed to push a button that few people I've known throughout my life have gotten close to pressing."
Kevin had already spent that day writing a eulogy and making memory boards out of some precious family photos. He was beyond distraught, and Harold's mother had merely twisted the knife in his gut. This little conversation devastated Kevin and Kate. Harold's mother was a little old lady. She may be a vindictive rage monster, but she was still a frail old woman. There was only so much the miserable couple could say in response. They kept quiet, and instead they plotted a foolproof way to get back at this nasty mother and son duo.
Kevin went to the town hall to ask for a health inspection of the property. It was scheduled a few days later, and it would be beyond satisfying. The inspector noted how there were exposed wires on the exterior of the building. There was an old empty dryer, along with other odd clutter, strewn about the backyard. Apparently the last inspection took place in 1994, over twenty years ago. For each year that there wasn't an inspection, there would be fines. In Kevin and Kate's apartment, black mold had begun growing amongst whatever wreckage they couldn't clear out. The bubble in the ceiling began to grow again, ready for the destructive bursting. Then the inspector made it to the basement. Oh, boy. The boiler was on the verge of exploding. Numerous flammable items, including gasoline and a pack of matches, were siting right beside it. It was like someone tried really hard to get the building to erupt in a fiery explosion.
The inspector ran out of room on his form because he wrote down so many infractions. Kevin asked him how much the repairs would cost the apartment. The inspector told the intrigued couple, "Around twenty to thirty thousand from what I can see, but it's probably going to be higher. This house was never licensed to be split into apartments."
Kevin and Kate didn't know where to begin. Harold and his mother literally furnished the entire apartment complex with lies and secrets. The first thing they needed to do was to move out immediately. Yes, they were poor and had been forced to stay in this disintegrating apartment. But they sure didn't want to be around a literal ticking time bomb, so they needed to find literally anywhere else to stay. Luckily, Kevin and Kate were updated by the inspector, who would definitely be making some return visits to this death trap. No one new could move into the apartment until everything was up to code. Word had spread of this to the tenants, who were moving out in droves. Harold had to hand the property back to his mother and filed for bankruptcy. But once the inspector looked into the mother's records, he discovered that she never inspected the property in between tenants like she was supposed to. She owed a lot of money on this building. Kevin and Kate seemed to be the clear victors in this game, but were they finished? Absolutely not, they saved their pettiest moves for last.
Now keep in mind readers, Harold never took that whole "don't rent your building to new people until everything is up to code" thing seriously. He would consistently put up signs around the property for prospective tenants, including a phone number to call for inquiries. Kevin and Kate knew the perfect response. Kevin noted how, "I began to not only change the number, but I also began printing out signs that read, 'You do not want to live here. Trust me. Signed, your friendly neighborhood tenant.' That lasted until he finally took the signs down a couple months later."
Harold had been properly destroyed, but Kevin and Kate wanted to make sure his wicked mother was just as ruined. Kevin discovered that the woman owned eight properties throughout three nearby towns. The vindictive couple traveled to each property and spoke with each of the tenants. Every person mentioned how disgusting the buildings were, and how the mother would ignore problems unless someone threatened legal action. People would move out, and this woman would refuse to return their deposit, putting those into cosmetic repairs, so the display rooms had nice furniture. People rarely fought back because they were fairly poor themselves, and they couldn't spend the time or money in a legal battle against her. Kevin and Kate then went to the inspectors in the other two towns of these properties and requested more inspections. Harold's mom faced the same infractions she had with the first apartment building. Harold's mom also filed for bankruptcy, so the revenge was complete. But Harold and his mom took one last desperate stand against the victorious couple.
Harold and his mother literally found where Kevin and Kate had moved to and camped out in front of the couple's new apartment. Kevin discovered them one night, sleeping in the tent right next to their front door. Maybe these two were planning on attacking Kevin and Kate, but probably once they woke up in the morning? The idea was quite haphazard, and all Kevin had to do was to call the cops on these people. They were already bankrupt, were they really going to resist arrest form a cop and get into more trouble?! Looking back on the entire process, Kevin realized how, "I know I should have used the months I spent monitoring everything to find a new job, but this was the one and only time I wanted to cripple a person where they hurt most: their wallets. I think I got my point across. None of this would've happened if you had just fixed the ceiling before it collapsed Harold!"
And that's where this rewarding story of revenge ends up. Kevin never mentions what happened once they reached the new apartment and got rid of Harold and his wretched mother. But I would like to imagine that the couple found new jobs and a newfound sense of confidence after getting back at these people. Kevin did mention that he split up with Kate eventually, but that wasn't due to Harold or his mother. Sometimes, these things just naturally happen. Harold and his mother definitely got out of the property owning business, and who knows what sort of jobs they found with their horrifying attitudes. This should go without saying, but never mock a person's dead mother. Like seriously, that's never an acceptable thing to do, even if you're a scheming landlord. Kevin and Kate took their time with methodical revenge, but it paid off much better than they ever could have hoped. Good can triumph over evil, as long as that good consults with various city inspectors and studies the tenant laws in their state.