Claw-ful Cat-astrophe
What do you do if your girlfriend reveals to you that she is a cat? No seriously, what do you do? Andrew, the paws-itively perplexed protagonist of this story, and the receptor of this un-fur-tunate news, desperately needed an answer. Had anyone, in the history of humankind, ever confessed to their significant other that they were really a cat? Would Andrew’s girlfriend then unzip her human suit, revealing a mischievous cat hiding all along? Would Andrew have to take her on walks, explaining to onlookers that this was his cat, and not a human woman meowing on the sidewalk? Judy identified as an ‘otherkin’ now, a cat in a human’s body. Imagine the most embarrassing talk you’ve ever experienced, but make it twice as strange and add cats. Before we get into Andrew’s response, we should probably address how Andrew and Judy got themselves into this claw-ful cat-astrophe. What, you clicked on a story about a woman becoming a cat and didn’t think there would be cat puns?! Purr-haps you thought wrong!
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She’s Feline A Strange Way
This lucky couple, Andrew and Judy, had been dating for about eight months so far. They had known each other far longer, having been friends for over two years. Thus far, there were no red flags (or hairballs) to uncover. Sure, Judy was sort of nerdy, doing cosplay, watching anime, and playing role-playing games. But that was perfectly normal, everyone is passionate and nerds out about something! Andrew’s job was keeping him way too busy, but unfortunately he really needed the money. So he took on extra shifts, and he wasn’t able to spend as much time with Judy as a result. Andrew’s job, on top of Judy’s work schedule, meant that they could only talk for about half an hour each day! So they tried to make the most out of this frustrating predicament. One night, the soon-to-be-confused couple spend some much-needed time off at Judy’s place. Andrew recalls how, “Last Tuesday, we got to hang out at her place, and she wore cat ears and a belt with a tail the entire time.” Andrew didn’t think much of it at the time. But don’t worry reader, it was about to get really bizarre really fast.
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Wait A Meow-ment, What Did She Say?!
After watching some television, Judy turned to Andrew, a look of deep concern upon her face. Judy asked Andrew if he really did love her. What sort of question was that? Of course Andrew loved her, there was no question about that. At least, not yet. What happened next was almost like a blur for Andrew. He didn’t remember the specifics as they all came out, but what Judy said caught him completely off-guard. What Andrew remembers is this: “[She] hit me with a very long monologue that essentially summed up to ‘I’m a cat in a human body’. Wish I was joking.”
A strange silence hung around the both of them. At this point, Judy had paused the television, so there was nothing to focus on except the peculiar confession that Judy had just brought forth. At first, Andrew thought he had misunderstood, or that Judy was pulling some sort of strange joke on him. But Judy doubled down on insisting she was a cat in a human body. She was completely serious about it too. Andrew was at a complete loss for words. Was this a bad thing? How should he respond? What would this mean for their relationship? Andrew’s wandering eyes noticed the clock on the wall, which told him he needed to leave for his next shift at work right away. Andrew quickly left, apologizing for cutting the talk short, and that he would be available to catch up later. He hadn’t really indicated how he felt about Judy. Truth be told, he still thought that maybe Judy was playing a weirdly drawn-out joking, nothing more. Well, there was actually a whole lot more to it. A few hours later, when Andrew checked his phone during his shift, he saw several text messages from Judy. She texted him various resources to help him understand her real identity. That’s when it finally hit Andrew that her being a cat was no laughing matter. Well, that’s up for you to decide reader, but Andrew knew that he had to take this seriously.
Andrew would never forget how she described herself via text message. He recalled how, “She believes she is an otherkin: a person who holds the belief that they are not human. She says she was introduced to this by one of her friends months ago, and she has since joined online communities of others like her. Her friend believes he is a demon trapped in a human body, and she sent me a testimonial that was supposed to be touching.” In reality, this video was of some dude who really just sounded like he was super high and needed to go to bed. Judy texted Andrew how her otherkin identity was that of a cat, and now she is completely convinced that she is a cat trapped in the wrong body. Now readers may be wondering how Julia knew without a doubt that she was a cat? Her evidence was too bizarre for Andrew to handle, so let’s see if it is for you too, dear reader!
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Purr-lease Stop With The Madness!
Here were the reasons Judy fully believed she was really a cat. Andrew couldn’t believe what he was reading on his messages app. Judy slept a lot, she really enjoyed the sun, she absolutely hated water, and she felt more comfortable crawling around on all fours. She claimed that she could understand what cats are saying, and that she could communicate with them by meowing. Andrew was practically short-circuiting. He had no idea what to say to this sort of thing! He let it slide and continued with work, knowing that he would have some more time to himself at his job before he saw Judy again. When he woke up the next morning, he noticed several messages from concerned friends. Apparently Judy had been ignoring all of their calls and messages, and they all wanted Andrew to let her know these people were reaching out. I mean, cats don’t have opposable thumbs and can’t text, so maybe Judy was trying to live more authentically in her feline form?
As the days went on, Judy’s behavior become more and more erratic. Judy actually handed in her two weeks resignation at her job, because according to her, cats don’t work. That is what she told her boss, and that is what she told Andrew. Andrew still had the faintest hope that this was some cruel prank, but there was no denying this effort was very real by now. At this point, Andrew’s mindset was merely this: “I’ve been limiting my interactions with her ever since, because this is hurting my head a whole lot, and I just can’t cope.” The only thing Andrew could do was to get some distance, still unable to process that a person could be 100% serious about living their life as if they were a cat. The more he heard from Judy, the weirder it got. She was surrounding herself with other people who only validated her cat identity more. Some of them also identified as other animals. Some of them encouraged her to make otherkin artwork and music that they would happily buy from her, which did strike Andrew as odd. What sort of creative content could a cat make, since cats couldn’t even read or hold a pencil?! This was getting to be way too much for Andrew. He needed to confront Judy in person, and he needed to try and talk some sense into her before it was too late.
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Un-fur-tunately, It Gets More Bizarre
Andrew finally confronted Judy the next day. He had sort of been putting his feelings on a shelf in the corner of his mind, trying to ignore them as best he could. But that wasn’t working, so the two of them just needed to talk and get their feelings out. Andrew had still thought about these events despite his best intentions, and really, this change had been a long time coming. Judy had been buying a lot of cat themed merchandise lately, and a lot of the cosplay that she had done in the past was related to cats somehow. When Andrew brought up the possibility of buying a cat for himself a few months ago, Judy joked about how she was territorial for another cat. Maybe that was because she was the cat?! The more Andrew thought about it, the more the puzzle pieces seemed to fit into place.
Andrew first asked Judy about her plans for being a cat, other than quitting her job. Thankfully, she didn’t mention anything about getting a litter box for her apartment. Judy pulled out her very official to-do list. Andrew will never forget how, “The to-do list includes purchasing a scratching post for her nails, switching to a carnivore diet, and dyeing her hair red because apparently she was a ginger cat. Yup.”
Once again, the more Judy talked, the more confused Andrew became. He had a lot of talking points prepared, but they had all escaped his mind. How did Judy know what type of cat she was?! But thankfully, he did have one final idea, something that might actually allow Judy to see some common sense and think about her life choices. The question was, would she go along with it?
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A Purr-suasive Solution
Andrew felt like he was backed into the corner. How could he confide with anyone about this in real life?! It sounded completely insane, no one would take him seriously. Andrew didn’t feel like he could reach out to Judy. She would just refuse to hear anything from anyone unless it was unconditional support. But maybe there was someone else who could reach out?! He decided to find Judy’s mom, to try and get her to check up on her daughter. Maybe she could come down for a visit? The two of them seemed to have a good relationship, so maybe a wise parental figure could sort things out. To Andrew’s knowledge, Judy didn’t have any sort of mental illness, aside from some mild social anxiety. She had been diagnosed with that in high school, but Andrew knew plenty of people with anxiety, and none of them wanted to live out their lives as animals. He didn’t want to leave her, since they had already been friends for so long. He wanted to see her get into a healthier mindset, and maybe finding a good job again.
But the chance for a romantic relationship was completely gone. Andrew said it best: “I love her, but I love myself and I don’t want to be dragged down to something like this, especially when it feels like I’m talking to a brick wall.” He definitely wanted to remain in contact with her though, just to help ensure that she wouldn’t be spiraling down towards a mental breakdown. Andrew met with Judy one last time, in order to retrieve some of his stuff from her apartment. Apparently, Judy was hoping to move in with me, because, Andrew thought, “I would truly love her and want to support her in living her truth, and that would include me assuming a sort of caretaker role.” Andrew totally refused this, so Judy thought it was best to move in with three of her online friends, one of whom was the demon boy, whose name was apparently Azkaban. Judy had enough savings to last her awhile, but with the amount of new cat merchandise around her apartment, Andrew wasn’t so sure about that. Judy had already spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on things like a scratch post, a large pet bed, cat toys, and giant bowls. No word on who would be pouring the milk for her, seeing as how Judy was a cat.
Andrew called up Judy’s mom, only telling her that he and Judy broke up, and that she fell in with a pretty weird group that got her to quit her job with no backup plan. Judy’s mom took Andrew quite seriously, and she revealed that she had been speaking less and less frequently with her daughter. The two of them agreed that Judy’s mom would visit Judy and spend a week with her, to try and directly get through to Judy. Andrew also messaged three of her closest human friends, saying that she would need them to be there for her after breaking up with Andrew. He didn’t mention anything about the cat toys or Mr. Azkaban. With any luck, Judy’s mom and friends would be able to get through to her daughter where others couldn’t. Maybe Judy wouldn’t have to put her entire life on hold to be a cat? J
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Fur-real, This Girl Needs Help
And that was all that Andrew could do. Their relationship was built on mutual trust, and he couldn’t physically force her to get help. All of Judy’s online friends were growing increasingly strange. Some of them left their spouses and children to be an animal. Some of them stopped taking necessary medication. According to Judy, one of them was the reincarnation of the Greek god Zeus and had three different children by three different women. Andrew had been met with hostility at every question he asked, and he didn’t get that aggressive about it. he did the best he could, but what else could he do after being blindsided by such a turn of events? He and Judy were no longer together, and there wasn’t much hope for anything more than a distant friendship, at least after things hopefully smoothed over.
And that’s where we end this story. Andrew was in need of a very strong drink after encountering quite possibly the strangest revelation a person could make. Maybe he’ll try online dating, but honestly there could be even stranger people out there! Judy was eagerly enjoying her scratching post and cans of tuna. And Judy’s mom was on her way, about to interrogate her daughter, assuming her daughter hadn’t already begun only meowing at other people. So what would you have done in Andrew’s place, reader? Andrew tried to keep things pretty polite yet rational. Would you have been on board for this transformation? Would you have identified as a dog so you could chase Judy around the apartment? What sort of advice would you have given our befuddled Andrew? One thing is for sure: He’ll never fur-get this once-in-a-lifetime experience!
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