Everyone fantasizes about getting back at their high school bully with a clever and devastating act of revenge. Unless of course, they were the high school bully. But even then, everyone needs a little bit of revenge every once in a while. Read on to find out how these people got the most ruthless, brilliant revenge possible on the people that did them wrong. Content has been edited for clarity.
Clever Retribution
“Back in high school, I dated a girl for 6 months before she decided it wasn’t working out anymore and she cheated on me with about 6 guys and stole my iPhone and wallet to buy narcotics. I wanted to report her to the police like my parents encouraged me to, but her brother jumped me while I was walking home with his friends as a threat to ensure I wouldn’t contact police. He busted open my lip pretty badly and threatened to kill me if i reported him or his sister (this is South Florida, so I believed he would do it).
My dad got a new job and we moved to a new city but i was still irate about this whole situation so I did the next best thing. I created two fake Facebook accounts of a random hot girl and guy, spent some time making it look legit with friends and such and added her brother on Facebook with the girl and my ex with the guy.
It wasn’t too long before he started flirting ‘me’ up and tried his best to get in this girl’s pants. On the other hand, having already courted my now ex i knew exactly what to say to charm her to the point that she was in love with me. This is where it all begins to get fun.
I started an intimate texting relationship between the brother and sister with me as the intermediate thanks to Google Voice. Both of them had fairly typical south Florida bodies so nothing really gave anything away and I did a fair amount of photoshopping to remove identifiers in the room that may give away anything.
This went on for about a month and a half totaling about 200 or so nudes between the two of them when I decided to reveal the curtain and send a group of unedited pictures that included key identifiers (faces and rooms).
Oh holy Jesus, how the stuff went down. I only wish i had some way to see how they reacted. Friends who still lived there told me her brother moved in with his dad that week and that the siblings no longer spoke.”
What’s That Smell?
“My friend and I were fishing at a local creek when my friend’s brother pulled up. Being the person he normally was, he started throwing rocks in the creek to scare the fish and then he threw my friend’s bike in the creek. We were 13 at the time, my friend was crying and I felt so bad. I jumped into the creek and got his bike out, then told him we would get his brother back.
About a month later, we were fishing again and it was the dead of summer. I told my friend today is the day we get his brother back. We caught a 2/3 pound carp, threw it up on the side of the bank and left it there until we were done fishing. At the end of the night, we went back to his place. His brother’s car was sitting on the street, so we took the carp, sliced it open, then threw it under the driver’s seat and rolled his windows 3/4 up.
The next morning when we woke and left, I forgot about what we had done. Well, when I rode past the brother’s car I noticed the window was kind of black and then I took a closer look. It was covered in flies. I actually got scared because I did not expect to a window to be caked with that flies. By the time I got home, I was laughing and in tears because his brother was always such a butthead to us.
Fast forward to baseball practice about 3 days later. My friend had a black eye but smiled at me when we made eye contact. His brother had flipped out and ran into their house and punched my friend in the face. His mom flipped out on his brother, brother was grounded for the rest of summer. His mom said that my friend would never do such a thing and he played along and acted as if he had no idea. Apparently, the smell never really left the car. We nicknamed his brother Lord of the Flies.”
Special Skills
“I’m immune to poison ivy, so I was always uprooting it in our yard (which is about a full acre). I’d left it on this concrete area behind our garage. Anyway, I frequently walked down to a fishing pond across this canal in my neighborhood (This is in south Louisiana). I didn’t always have a functioning bike and the walk was only about a mile. A ‘big kid,’ probably 2-3 years older than me, was a real garbage pile. He’d do stuff like ride by me on his bike and act like he was gonna high-five me, but then slap my face and ride off, laughing. Anyway, one day he did that, and I went back home, upset. I got my water shooter and was gonna shoot him if he messed with me again. Then I saw the poison ivy and got an evil idea. In the bucket it went with some water, I stirred it all up good, then dumped that in my water shooter. Then I went back to the pond. On the way back home, he came around messing with me again. I hosed him down and he broke my water shooter, but man it was worth it.
From what I hear, he didn’t go back to school for almost two weeks.”
The Man I Am Today
“I moved around a lot as a kid. Dad in the Army. Parents divorced. Not staying in one place made long-term friendships impossible. But my situation attracted bullies like flies.
I moved to a new school. A bully picked up my scent instantly. Tripping and shoving. Making fun of my clothes. Nothing too terrible, but I was already unhappy, so I felt miserable anyway.
One school day, I asked to use the restroom. I passed by said bully on the way into the bathroom. He actually didn’t do anything to me this time.
When I entered the the restroom, someone was in the only stall, crapping on the floor. I walked out of the bathroom, disgusted, ready to tell on them (I was seven at the time).
I was ready to reenter my classroom when an incredible, yet devious idea came to me. I went straight to my bully’s classroom and walked inside.
Everyone looked at me, which normally would have given me enough hesitation to turn me 180o and back to class. But that day, I didn’t so much as pause. I walked up to the teacher’s desk, pointed at my tormentor and boldly proclaimed that he had taken a poo on the bathroom floor.
The teacher’s reaction was better than I could have ever expected (for me). She made him follow her into the restroom while he cried and slobbered out, ‘I didn’t do it! He’s lying!’ over and over again. She then grabbed a wad of paper towel, handed it to him and we watched as he picked in up and put it into the commode. She thanked me for telling her and told me to go back to my classroom.
This happened about twenty years ago. I still look back at this moment as a turning point in my life. Like I became me then.”
Cracking Ribs
“I used to play minor hockey, from the ages of 12-17. I was a goalie and at first I sucked. By my last year, I was playing Midget B hockey, the highest level I had ever played. But the year before that, I was on a team where I had become the whipping boy. Bullied in the locker room by some members of my team. I remember being pinned down and having water dumped on me a bunch one time, not too fun. Pucks shot at my back at practice. The main facilitator was someone named Spencer. I don’t recall doing anything to be the source of his bullying, but there it was. We barely lost a game all year, partially because our team was stacked, and partially because I was becoming a pretty solid goalie. But our locker room rapport was obviously terrible. No team cohesion and it all was to do with me being bullied. There were more specific examples that I can recall, just constant drama and not enjoying my time.
For whatever reason, I decided to not mention it to anyone and just sucked it up. In hindsight, I probably should have told the head coach, and things might have changed.
Anyways, fast forward to the next season. Rep tryouts happened, and I was one of the 4 goalies to make the cut. I actually lost my best friend due to the fact we were both vying for the final slot, and the management chose me over him. Spencer failed to make the cut.
Our rep team was awesome. I got along with everyone, and we went undefeated. I played the best games of my life, and made memories that’ll last forever.
In the break between the regular season and the playoffs, one of our defensemen got injured. This meant that Spencer started ‘AP-ing’ with us, which is basically a tryout. Comes to practices, does drills. No games until proven. But this was still a problem.
He would shoot pucks at me with my back turned. That usually is a good way to anger a goalie, ask anyone. He would come down for shots during drills and aim at my head. I continued to ignore it.
After one fateful practice, the players are in the locker room changing. I wasn’t in the best of moods during this particular week, as my mom had attempted suicide several days previous. She was in the hospital’s psyche ward. Somehow, Spencer had found out about this, and said the single worst thing he could have said:
‘You’re such a bad goalie, your mom is going to try and kill herself again.’
Everyone in the locker room froze, and looked at me. Blood pulsing in my head. I remember focusing on untying my laces, but it was impossible because my hands were shaking so much.
Spencer is done changing, so he gets up and leaves. Everyone goes back to their business, and I calm down enough to shower and clean up and head out myself.
When I left the arena, my father was waiting in his car, parked in the fire lane 15 feet from the entrance. Between the car and me was Spencer. He has a stupid freaking grin on his face, and says, ‘Say hello to mom for me.’
I immediately drop my hockey bag. I was holding my goalie stick in my hands. I don’t even recall making a decision. I wound up, and with two hands, swung the stick like a baseball bat as hard as I could into his side. It made a fantastically satisfying thump. I had hit him with the meaty part of the stick. Spencer turtled and hit the ground, and I told him to simply shut the heck up. I picked up my hockey bag, opened my dad’s trunk, and threw everything inside. When I hopped in the passenger side, my father remarked, ‘That was a bit of an over-reaction, don’t you think?’ And we drove off.
Later that day, I received a phone call from Spencer’s very irate father, telling me Spencer was in the hospital with internal bleeding, broken ribs, and a lacerated spleen.
So I guess I did over-react.”
The Power Of The Network
“During the last year or so of my marriage, I was spending a lot of time out of town, commuting for 3-4 days a week for work. One night I was working remote and decided to do some upgrades on my home computers, so I remote in and notice that the connection is REALLY slow. I do some network traces and find that my wife’s computer is participating in a video chat with someone in another state, one where she has no family that I know of. Huh. Curiosity piqued, I start to monitor more stuff, like IM conversations which are not encrypted.
Over the next few weeks, I keep my mouth shut as I collect more evidence, mostly Yahoo! and AIM conversations. I also had installed security cameras around my house because we had problems with the neighborhood kids, and eventually I catch footage of some guy coming and going from the house – at one point even driving my car. I still keep my mouth shut because I know if I say anything, my wife would just lie about it and somehow make me out to be the bad guy. I know who the guy is by now, and I gather more data on him. And then he does it. He plugs his laptop into my network.
So, I’m a network engineer and security admin by trade. I know networks, I know how to monitor them, and I know how to…fiddle with data. My wife knew this, the guy she was messing around with knew this, but he was still dumb enough to enter my domain and play around on my network. I start grabbing usernames and passwords, email accounts, IM accounts, etc. I reroute all of their web traffic through a proxy so I can monitor where they go and how they login. Eventually I hit the jackpot – he runs a fairly well known gaming forum that is a major source of revenue for him, and he logs in without using SSL.
He thinks it’s secure because vBulletin hashes the password before sending it in clear text. However, if you know the hash you can use it just as well as the password itself! I use his admin username and password hash to login and make a few admin accounts for myself, naming them something inconspicuous and changing the account creation date to make them look old. At this point I could have just wiped his entire site, but that would be too easy to fix – simply restore a backup. No, I had a better idea. Every day I went back and deleted random posts older than 6 months. Then I deleted every post older than 6 months. I did this for 3 weeks straight before the guy suspects anything. I notice he kills one of my admin accounts, so I quickly assign admin privileges to my wife’s account then delete all my other admin accounts.
She calls me in a panic because her new boytoy is flipping out on her because it looks like she is the one who ‘hacked’ the forums and deleted the content. Thousands of posts are gone and there is no way to restore them because a full restore would wipe out 3 weeks of new posts. She appears to be the only other person with admin access aside from the owner, and he is ANGRY. I plead ignorance and pretend I never knew about the forum until she called me. There is no reason I would know about the forum. They never made the connection between him using MY home network and his forum getting hosed. To this day, new users are not allowed on the site unless they are referred by an existing member.
They never figured out what happened. The incident caused him to break off whatever he had going with my wife, which really left her stranded when I told her a month later that I was divorcing her. I had collected enough evidence from their IM conversations and her forum posts to satisfy my need for closure. She still has no idea how much information I gathered about her second life.
During the time period this was happening, the guy actually moved from out of state (with the help of my wife, and probably my money), which is how he ended up at my house and driving my car. I knew exactly when this happened and when to expect to see him based on the IM conversations.”
Gotta Pay The Laborers
“I used to live in a very small town, like 250-300 people. We had no stores, gas stations etc.
One day a local guy decided to open up a little store that sold the basics like groceries and rented movies. He hired a few of us high school kids to work the store, and promised us $50 a week for the summer to be paid at the end of the summer.
We agreed, and started working. We gave up a summer stocking shelves, cleaning the bathroom, lawn care and whatever else.
Well the end of the summer comes around. It’s our last day of work, and he comes by with our pay checks. $50. For each of us. For the whole summer.
Needless to say, we weren’t too happy, but his words were ‘what the heck are you gonna do about it? Drop the key off at my house since you won’t need it anymore.’
We came up with a plan to pay this butthead back. Before locking up the store for the last time, we left a window unlocked. We dropped the key off at the house. Around midnight, we were back at the store. Grabbed as much as we could, smokes, money from the register, candy. Probably about $1,000 worth of garbage, locked the window, then left through the emergency exit that had no alarm. There were also no cameras of any kind.
Next day, there were cops there. He accused all of us of doing it, but had no proof. He ended up having to shut down the store a few months later because the town heard how he didn’t pay us and stopped doing business there.
I don’t feel bad. Moron deserved it.”
Getting The Monies
“I worked as a server in a fine dining restaurant in a touristy town in Florida. The owners, a husband and wife team, were notorious for being cruel and petty people, but it was 2008 and I had just been laid off so I had to take anything. On top of that, I was engaged to be married (paying for the wedding ourselves) and planning a move to NYC as well.
I kept quiet as much as I could. I saw that when ever you shared any bit of your personal life with these dummies, they used it to torment you. Once they met my fiancé and from that moment on, the wife-owner would make jabs saying, ‘She doesn’t seem like she is too thrilled to get married,’ or ‘She probably expects better,’ and then laugh it off like she was just joking. It was my strategy to just eat their drama and save money, and not let it bother me. She figured this out right away and got downright sadistic, trying to see how far they could push me and see what I would do without complaint. My breaking point was when she told me to take away the chair our hostess was sitting in when no customers were around. Granted sitting on the job is supposedly unprofessional, but she was an elderly woman, sick, and working outside. The hostess wouldn’t dare call in sick as she was working here illegally from Hungary, and similarly had to eat as much drama as was thrown at her. I did it. I freaking did it. The hostess understood. Really, what could she say? she knew what was happening and gave me this look of understanding that I’ll never forget. Eventually I was fired over a tipping issue that the owner manufactured. This was very important. I was fired. I didn’t quit.
I was a month away from moving to NYC with my wife to try to start a career in my field. I just needed one more month of saving every last penny I made and I was out! This pretty much did me in.
So I filed for unemployment stating the reasons I was fired on my last night, which met the eligibility requirements. The unemployment office contacted my former employer for verification and he said I was fired for stealing vino and there were witnesses. My claim was denied. The next step was to dispute the claim. I disputed and it went to the adjudication process. Basically what amounted to a phone hearing between my former employer, an unemployment case worker, me, and any ‘witnesses.’
This is where I got revenge.
I knew of the upcoming hearing, and my employer was notified by mail of the date. The letter explained the process and instructed to line up any witnesses and materials needed for the case. It also stated that you have a period of time to reschedule the hearing if needed. An unemployment worker explained the process to me over the phone before the letters were mailed. I then paid a anarchist punk guy to steal any of their mail from the unemployment office and bring it to me. Leading up to the hearing, I also reported them to ASCAP for playing copyrighted music in their establishment without paying dues, (A fairly hefty fine) and reported some of their more crooked dealings to the IRS. (Namely how the wife-owner would use her name as an employee for several of the illegal workers, underreporting earnings, etc) I also dropped a dead fish into their gutters above their patio, waited a week for the rats to appear and called the heath department.
At the time of the hearing, the owner was caught off guard and tried to reschedule. He was not allowed to reschedule because the letter (Which he never received…hehe) stated that failure to attend the hearing automatically results in a ruling for the other party. He complied and we went along with the hearing without his fake witness. During the hearing, I kept calm but he lost his temper. I answered my questions in a way to really get his anger going, and it worked. The key question posed to my former employer was ‘Had he not stolen any property, would you still have fired him?’ He slipped and said yes, sending the ruling in my favor.
A few weeks later, I received my check for all the past months of unemployment. It was enough to get me to NYC.
2 and a half years later, I am still married (HA!!) and found an excellent job in my field with great pay, benefits, an awesome boss, and union representation. They are struggling to keep the doors open and have both had a host of financial problems.”
Never Brag About The Lie In Public
“One time when I worked in a small video store as an assistant manager, there was this one customer who was being a real butthead to the point where I got fed up with his drama and threw him out. He had been a complete meanie to every single other employee in the store, including our boss. He was just a mouthy, harassing person (it would take way too long to go into the details).
Anyway, I saw him in a little strip mall nearby one time and he was bragging to some guys about he was cheating on his worker’s compensation. Then he pulls out this wad of cash and waves it under their noses like a Japanese fan. ‘I got all this freakin free money from lying about my injured hand!’ What a monster.
If you go into the blue pages of the phone book, you’ll find this listing in all cap letters that says,
WORKERS COMPENSATION FRAUD HOTLINE
-and take a wild guess what video stores keep in their records? Full name, home address, and phone number. Not only did I turn this guy in but was also able to provide great detail as to exactly how he was faking his injury as he explained it to his two friends.”
Kid Hater
“When my brother and I were kids, we used to play in our front yard all the time. Once, we were playing baseball and our ball rolled down the hill into our neighbor’s backyard. Anyway, my brother and I went inside to find another ball to play with. In those 5 minutes, he walked up the hill and pounded on our front door. My mom answered and he flew into a rage at her screaming about the ‘god dang kids ruining his lawn.’ My mom tried to calm him down, but he put back his fist as if he was going to punch her. When my mom flinched, he started to laugh and spit on our doorstep. My brother and I saw everything and declared covert war.
We were smart. We waited until he wouldn’t be too suspicious. To this day, we haven’t been caught… because everything ‘could’ have just happened naturally. We didn’t do everything at once, but rather over the course of many years. Here is a rough list of all the things I remember doing:
-Poured female deer lure into his car’s and house’s A/C intake vents to perfume his air with an unholy stench.
-Saved up all shards of sharp glass, nails, etc and would scatter them on the ends of his driveway.
–Bought high strength/concentrated weed killer and would apply it liberally to his prized shrubs/flowers.
-Found his car in public parking lots and threw bologna on it to ruin the paint job. No clue if this one actually worked, though.
-Collected road kill and assorted dead critters we found (we had cats) and would throw them under the tarp that covered his pool.
-Waited until they went on vacation and put sugar all over their doors and window sills in hope that bugs would get into the house and nest.
I still don’t feel guilty. The guy was a huge prick. Still is a huge prick, actually.”
Just Take Whatever Ya Want
“I worked at a place during college that served sandwiches and coffee. It was a cool place, a lot of people hung out there and I liked everyone I worked with, but my boss was the biggest butthead in the world.
One week on pay day, he got all the employees together and told us that we wouldn’t be getting paid that week and we would have to wait until next week. We were fine with that but when the next pay day rolled around he didn’t have the money. This went on for about a month. We were all working under the table and he told us that if we quit, we would never get any of the money he owed us (we later found out he never planned on paying us).
We found out he was blowing his cash on coke and gambling. He stopped showing up to work for like 3 weeks so it was just the employees running the store. In those three weeks, we gave away pretty much everything in the store for free. Literally emptied it out. Anyone who came in and ordered something got it for free. We even had a party there one night, open mic and everything. So he finally shows up and he looks like he has been awake for a week straight.
He comes in freaking the heck out, threatens to beat the heck out of us, starts throwing things around. I was in the back and saw that he was double parked outside, so I call the campus towing company that was literally a block away. While he is freaking out at us one of the employees says, ‘Hey, your truck is getting towed.’ While he runs outside and watches his Escalade get towed away, we all bounced out the back door and never looked back.”