Sometimes the most innocent things can look completely crazy in the wrong context!
A Simple Exchange With A Teacher Looks Really, Really Sketchy
“Back in high school, I used to have a Triforce belt buckle. Upon seeing it, my choir teacher rolled up his sleeve and showed me a Triforce tattoo on his upper arm (we were in his office at the time, before class started). I didn’t really like the belt buckle anyway (the point of the Triforce stabbed me in the stomach when I bent over) so I offered to sell it to him for $10. He agreed, so I started taking off my belt so I could give him the buckle. Just then, our choreographer walked into me taking off my belt and my teacher holding a $10 bill. After the explanation and the initial shock subsided, we laughed it off; but it is easily my weirdest experience with a teacher.”
Yeah, It Looks Like A Kidnapping
pathdoc/Shutterstock.com
“I was at the store with my 2-year-old son. He’s adopted and is a different race than I am.
We were leaving and he wanted to play with the claw machine. I told him that we didn’t have time and that he needed to come hold my hand. He protested and refused to leave the crane. I walked over and picked him up to carry him out of the store. He, being a toddler, started throwing a fit and saying things like, ‘Put me down’ and ‘You’re not nice.’ We got a lot of looks and I realized after putting him in the car that a white man carrying a screaming brown toddler out of the store probably looks like a kidnapping.”
The Nurse Is Never Going To Buy The Story
“I used to do night shifts at a psych hospital. For a long time, we had a guy who was being treated with Lithium. It helped curb his manic behavior, but it also messed him up for awhile, to the point that he resembled an Alzheimer’s patient. He could hardly get himself dressed, seemed totally unaware of his surroundings, and was barely coherent as he jabbered away at you, convinced you were an old friend of his or a relative.
One night he was up late wandering around, which was fine as he was quiet and went straight to bed when he got tired. Except tonight he started taking his pants off. I guided him to his room and said he could have his pants off in there, but not on the unit. Moments later he came back out, pants around his ankles. I helped him get them back up, reminded him of the pants rule, and went back to my seat. He started taking them off again, I told him to get them back up, rinse and repeat.
At one point he got them down really fast and brought his underwear with them. By the time I got over to him they were off of his feet. I knew he couldn’t get them back on himself, so I tried getting him into his room with no luck. I tried to convince him to just sit down at least, but that wasn’t getting through either. I settled for just kneeling and tapping his calves to get him to lift his foot and putting them on that way. The charge nurse I was working with wasn’t present for this entire scenario, up to this moment, when he walked onto the unit with the night supervisor, who saw me on my knees in front of a male patient who was bare from the waist down. Not a good look. Thankfully I didn’t need to explain myself as I had a solid reputation and this guy was known for randomly undressing and needing help to get re-dressed.”
She Swears He Just Spilled On Himself
“When I was around 14/15 my parents had a strict no boyfriend policy. Anyway, they worked days and it was during the summer and I would stay home alone by myself. Well I was hanging out with one my friends and her new boyfriend. He spilled Kool-Aid all over his pants and was freaking out because he had a job interview later that day and was way too far from home to just go home and change, so I said I’ll just throw them in my washer, no big deal. Later as I was pulling them out of my dryer and bringing them to him upstairs I see my dad pull in the driveway. So he has the jeans in his hands and I’m like go out back hurry!!! It also turned out to be trash day so as my dad is pulling the trash can to the backyard, him and I are running to the back door (we didn’t know he was walking back there) and just as he turns the corner he sees him fall out of my back door pulling his pants on and just stops and stares at us.
It took awhile to get him to believe us. But here we are 11 years later and my friend and him are now married and we’re all pretty close. My dad still brings that nonsense up jokingly.”
A Hockey Game Looks Like A Hate Crime
“It was March 5th a couple years ago, and in Chicago, we had just had a very cold day and the roads were PARTICULARLY icy. My stupid friends and I had nothing to do that night so we decided to mess around on the icy roads. Some genius came up with the idea that we should play some form of hockey due to the slick roads. Now no one with us had any sort of hockey equipment (sticks, pucks), so we kinda just had to wing it. We decided to have someone actually be the puck, and our token black friend Darius volunteered. We had no sticks so we decided to use our feet. Our friend Darius laid in the fetal position until the ‘puck dropped,’ which was a countdown from 3. Once my friend said go that innocent hockey game immediately turned into about 6 white kids kicking a black kid on the ground at night in the suburb of Chicago. We all realized it right away and stopped, but not before about 5 people came outside their houses and kind of started to freak out. We gave a brief explanation and then booked it the heck out of there. Still one of the funniest memories I have ever had to this day.”
Caught Red Handed And Unashamed
Ariwasabi/Shutterstock.com
“I ate a donut out of a public trash bin. But it’s not as bad as it sounds and even has a reasonable explanation.
I walked to the drive-thru down the road for a couple of tasty donuts. I love donuts. I ate one and carried the bag containing the remaining donut. Up ahead I notice that the local ice cream stand was opening for the year. I also love anything deep fried. I ordered some unhealthy food and waited. Now I am looking at the bag containing the donut that still waits for me. For some reason, I decide that maybe eating this donut, along with my grease platter, may not be my healthiest option. I put the donut, still safe inside its little bag, in the trash bin.
Immediate regret. Why would I do that? My grease order was called and I sat at the table and probably embarrassed myself in front of the other customers eating like I was the only one there. I forget about that silly donut and all its glorious fat and sugar. But it wouldn’t last. Like the call of a siren, I begin to form a plan. My grease was eaten and already speeding to my colon. I had to act quick. In front of the other patrons THAT DID NOT SEE ME PLACE THE ORPHANED PASTRY BECAUSE THEY ARRIVED AFTER I PUT IT THERE, I reach into the bin and located it quickly. They all see me. I am shame personified. The disgust was visible on every face. I did what I thought was my only option. I sat back down and ate that donut like it had always belonged to me.”
It’s Not What He’s Trying To Do!
“When I was a child (~11 or 12), I liked to play pranks on my siblings. One day, my sister had her radio on while cleaning her room. I decided to sneak around the house, reach through the window, and turn off her music. As I was standing outside the window, waiting for her to turn her back, my dad came around the house (I assume he saw me go around and followed to see what I was up to). He thought I was being a Peeping Tom and was trying to see my sister bare. How I found out that he thought that happened later that night.
He and my stepmom mentioned that they were going into town for fuel and drinks, so I decided to hide in the back of the car and scare them when they got in. As they were getting in the car, I heard my name, and it was my dad telling my stepmom that he had caught me peeping. In a shock over those accusations, I didn’t immediately jump up and scare them as planned. I weighed my options until the car was a few miles down the road (they were talking about me the whole time), then I finally decided to jump up. The car swerved off the road and almost crashed.
They didn’t believe me when I tried to explain myself. I was given a strong lecture on privacy, and my dad never really trusted me after that.”
Wait, It’s Not What You Think!
FGC/Shutterstock.com
“I was traveling with my girlfriend (who later became my wife) and my sister in Europe. We were in Barcelona and went to one of the flamingo dancers shows where they serve a buffet dinner. I got a little wild and tried just about everything on the buffet and a few drinks. During the show, I began to feel some discomfort in the stomach region. As the show continued on, I became more and more nauseous.
We headed back to the hotel and I immediately went to the room. My girlfriend and sister went to the bar at the hotel and I went into the bathroom. I felt horrible and that food wanted out of my stomach in a bad way. I sat down on the toilet and I hear a knock at the door. I get up, thinking my girlfriend didn’t have her key and opened the door. It was the maid service, bringing us some turndown chocolates and cheese. I showed her where to put them on the other side of the room and once again, someone knocks on the door. I head to the door and it’s my girlfriend. Immediately the maid brushed by us to exit the room. My girlfriend looks down and my pants are unzipped. She says ‘I can’t deal with this right now…’ She walks out and tells my sister what she just saw. My sister then says ‘Where did he get a girl so fast?’
Meanwhile, I was vomiting most of the night.”
It Definitely Looks Like Shady Business
“My family is olive complected, Mediterranean. My dad also owns small businesses, some of which are in the ghetto.
So one day after we leave one of the stores, he calls me – he needs me to give him the briefcase he forgot in his car, and I realize I left my backpack in his (we traded cars).
So it’s night time on a semi-congested road in a rough part of town when suddenly a new white Suburban pulls off the road, and a few minutes later, a new white Benz pulls up behind it.
A well dressed middle aged Mediterranean dude with a mustache gets out of the SUV, long overcoat slung over his shoulders. At the same time a younger Mediterranean dude gets out of the Benz, pops the trunk, carries the briefcase over and puts it in the back of the SUV, then takes a backpack out and shuts it as the older guy watches. We do our customary father-son handshake/hug thing and get in our cars and drive apart.
I realized only later that we most assuredly looked like criminals with some kind of contraband being moved, and the strange, somewhat concerned stares from the cars near us made perfect sense after that. My dad got a kick out of it when I told him my thoughts.”
Mom Will Never Understand
“When I was 17 and my brother 15, we used the share the attic and play games on the computer with the door closed and the TV on for some music or just background noise.
One night we were playing something together and got really caught up in the game, it was around midnight so my mom went upstairs to check up on us as we had class in the next morning.
The lights were off, the door was locked and it took us a few seconds to realize she was knocking because of the headset, so after I opened the door and was going back to my computer, she just stared at us.
I was thinking why is she looking at us like that? As soon as I took my headset off, I realized the TV was on, as usual, but what neither of us had noticed was that those MTV music clips were over and there was softcore smut on.
My brother was still clueless of what was happening and I didn’t know what to say so I just looked at my mom and thought, ‘Well I’m not saying anything, so it’s up to you to mention it.’ I think we looked at each other for what seemed to be 10 minutes but in reality, maybe 5 seconds, until she turned around and said, ‘class tomorrow guys’ and closed the door.”
This Guy’s Friend Has No Reason To Believe Him
“I own a restaurant. I was having a talk with one of my friends saying that I never would sleep with any of my employees. It’s not good practice. He was skeptical.
Within the next 30 minutes, 3 of my female employees came up to me while my friend was still there and said these lines.
Girl 1: ‘Stop cheating on me’ (as she comes up and hugs me).
Girl 2: ‘Did you find my skirt at your apartment?’
Girl 3: ‘I’m still coming over tonight, right?’
Now my friend is looking at me like I’m both a liar and the ultimate mac daddy.
The real situation is that I’m friends with all these girls. The first girl was making a joke that I’m cheating on her because when she couldn’t go to a bookstore one day, I invited someone else instead.
Girl 2 slept in my guest bedroom on Halloween (with, like, 3 other girls) because they had been drinking. Her Halloween skirt that she changed out of is still lost.
Girl 3 has a 45-minute commute to work every day, she was going to sleep at my place that night so she didn’t have to drive home just to come back early in the morning.
He still doesn’t believe me and thinks I’m a god.”
A Dad Gets Caught In A Compromising Position
“I have sisters and they painted my dad’s toenails. We also at the time had a dog called David.
So my dad was home from work one day, having a nap and his dog, David, was one of those male dogs that followed their master around like a bad smell. He was always at his side, and so was sleeping on the bed with him. A delivery man happened to show up with a parcel, so my dad threw on the only thing he could quickly find which was my mom’s blue satin dressing gown. He goes to answer the door, and the dog doesn’t leave the room but is barking. My dad is accepting the parcel and turns and shouts ‘Get back in bed David!’ in a blue satin gown, with painted pink toenails. The delivery driver left pretty quickly.
In hindsight, as a more adult person, this story shouldn’t be shocking but at the time, it apparently was.”
He Was Just Fixing A Broken Headset!
“Years ago, a friend and I were playing on the Xbox 360, but his headset was broken. The headband part had snapped in half, and he didn’t have a way to hold the earpiece and mic to his head.
After a few minutes, he invented a fix and we kept playing. Some time goes by, and then I hear him say ‘WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN’ before I hear the muffled sounds of him removing the mic and leaving the room.
To fix the headset problem, he had put the earpiece and mic up to his face, and then put on a fairly tight ski mask to hold them there. He wore glasses, so the glasses were smashed in there too. It was also August and hot, so he wasn’t wearing a shirt.
His dad had walked in to tell him lunch was ready and saw his sweaty, shirtless, overweight son wearing a ski mask and yelling weird profanity at a game, and had promptly turned around and left.”
Zits In Weird Places Can Be Awkward
Marijus Auruskevicius/Shutterstock.com
“Once when I was like 13 (also I’m a girl) my mom walked in on me sitting with my pants down on the bed and legs spread. She quickly backed out and slammed the door.
I was popping a zit on the inside of my thigh.”
Straight Out Of A Horror Movie
“A very long time ago I was living at my parent’s house. I came home after work and found a very large dead rat caught in a trap. I guess we were having a rat problem, rural living problems. Not wanting to have my little sister wake up to this before her Saturday morning cartoons (told you it was long ago), I went outside to bury it, with a shovel, at 2:00 am, in fog, wearing a trench coat.”
Overprotective Mom Had The Wrong Idea
“Okay, so I had some kinda overprotective parents and was homeschooled. Generally, any media I consumed (e.g. TV shows, music, movies, etc) had to be approved by my mother.
When I was ~14, I __became interested in My Chemical Romance and bought one of their albums from Walmart. Because I thought she wouldn’t approve, I hid the album from her. One day, I was using headphones and listening to their music quite loudly – and I didn’t hear my mother opening my door. I saw her and panicked, which resulted in me hiding my music in one of my dresser drawers. She got really mad and asked what I was hiding, and proceeded to go through my stuff. Turns out, she thought I was doing illegal substances and was trying to hide the evidence.”
Honestly, Both Options Are Embarrassing
PhotoMediaGroup/Shutterstock.com
“I was working as a student help at my college. The rule was if we finish our work early then we can work on homework, so I always brought my laptop with me. One day before my shift I had downloaded Steam and a free game about killer clowns in a house. In the game, there are three clowns in the house, one of which is the murder. You have to decide which one is the killer before they kill you.
The next day, the school staff left me in their office alone so they could go to a meeting. Seizing my opportunity, I pull out my laptop and start playing the game once they were gone. Well, I got really into the game. At one point I had walked over to this one clown, decided he wasn’t the murderer because he didn’t try to kill me, and turned around to check out the other guy in the next room. Well, I hear a noise, turn around, and BAM! there’s a killer clown chasing me.
At that same moment, in the corner of my eye, I see two people walk into the office doorway. I jump, slam my laptop shut, and my face goes red. Apparently, the meeting was shorter than normal. Both of the staff members looked at me weird and that’s when I realized they thought I was looking at smut.
The two staff members went to their desks and didn’t say anything. We sat in awkward silence while I tried to figure out how to address the situation. Finally, I just told them what happened, clown and all, and ended the story with, ‘I just didn’t want you thinking I was looking at something else.’
The one staff member smiled and just said, ‘Well I was wondering what was going on…’
We never talked about it again though I’m sure they had a good laugh when I left that day.”
If The Van Is A-Rockin’…
“I was moving houses and my mate was helping me move furniture. Anyhow, we got locked in the back of the van so we started kicking the door and attempted to push it open, but from the outside it looked like people were getting it on in the back of the van as it was swaying about (due to us trying to escape). We eventually got out and there were a bunch of kids laughing at us, so I ask my girlfriend, who was standing outside, what the kids were laughing at. Her reply was, ‘Were you two getting down in the back of the van? Certainly looked like it.’ In hindsight, it probably did look really weird from outside the van.”