Everyone has that one friend whose parents are a bit strict. They can't come over for sleepovers or go to the school dance. Then there are the parent's that take it up a notch. They watch their kids at recess from the parking lot across the street, they need to be called every hour, etc. The parents in the following stories fall into the latter category but are even worse.
Ruining It For Everyone
“I had a friend during college whose mom was overly concerned with her whereabouts constantly. I’d say it was borderline abuse at points, she possibly wasn’t entirely mentally well. She’d randomly come and pick my friend up while we were out, would monitor the water/gas/electricity in their house whenever she went away to try and see whether my friend had stayed out or had people over. Her mom saw how relaxed my mom was about my life and definitely took an immediate disliking to BOTH of us pretty early on.
We once got tickets to a city music festival (the ones where loads of bars/music venues across the city hold performances during the daytime). There was only one act that I really wanted to see at the end of the night, so I spent most of the day trawling around town seeing the acts that my friend wanted to see. I was having a good time but was also sort of counting down the hours until I got to see the band I’d really bought my ticket for. We were planning on meeting some of our other friends there and managed to organize it all before my phone really annoyingly died during the act before, in another venue across town. My friend’s mom (obviously) knew which acts we were planning on seeing and where they were, bear in mind that we were adults and that this was during the day in what was pretty much our home city. About half an hour before we were about to leave to see the band I’d essentially waited ALL DAY for, my friend’s mom called her to say that she’d checked online and saw that the final venue was overcrowded and that they were turning people away at the door, so she was coming to pick us up and take us home right away. I didn’t question this, and was meant to be staying with her family so wasn’t about to turn my ride home away. I was kinda disappointed that I’d paid a fair bit of money (to me anyway) to see one of my favorite bands for the first time and didn’t even get the chance, but I’d had a good day regardless so wasn’t totally bummed out.
Anyway, we got back to her family’s house. I grabbed my phone charger and managed to restart my phone and bring it back to life, only to have a few messages from the friends we had intended to meet at the last venue flash up all at once. Apparently, the venue was hardly full at all and we’d missed out on a really good gig. It was super weird, but I chose not to bring it up even though I was angry about, not only missing out on a good gig for no reason but also wasting all that money. It’s one thing to be a helicopter parent and control everything your kids do, but doing the same thing to your adult kids’ friends is just certified crazy.”
Who Needs An Education When You Have Mommy
“I had a student one year who was the middle child of three and the mother was the textbook definition of a helicopter. It was more than that though; she also had a bad case of ‘wanting to be your 10-year-old’s best friend instead of their parent’.
Here is a short list of things she did:
She would come attend school events (like plays, etc), and try to sit next to her child on the floor (‘crisscross applesauce’ and all).
She would deliver her child’s lunch every single day. Not send in a packed lunch, mind you. She would deliver something. Like fast food, especially Chik-fila. She always had enough for herself as well, so she basically tried to come eat lunch with her daughter every day. One day I confronted the student about this and made up a bogus rule that her mom had to bring me lunch, as well and sure enough the next day I got a sub from Subway.
She would let the girl stay home for any and all reasons. The girl was literally absent 25 days the year before I had her (although I tried my best to crush that bad habit and got her down to 14 days absent when I had her). Some of the notes/doctor’s excuses the mom sent in were really ridiculous.
When she was at the school for her younger child (for example: when she came by for kindergarten parties or whatever), she would sneak out and walk the halls and peak through the classroom windows of her other two kids to ‘check on them’. I would joke with our principal that this woman might secretly be an employee of our security company trying to find flaws in our security procedures. We had to come up with all sorts of new rules and procedures for all the parents to follow just to stop this one woman.
The girl was not a very good student and I am pretty sure more than half of the homework handed to me was completed by the mother.
My final interaction with her was when I invited her and her husband in for a conference because I gave the girl a 0 for missing an assignment with an unexcused absence and I basically forced the mother to admit that she took the girl shopping that day instead of bringing her to school. The dad was completely unaware this was happening and went off on her. It didn’t solve the problem permanently (as she continued to helicopter the following year before leaving the school), but it toned it down while I had her at least.
The sad thing is you encounter parents like this all the time. They don’t realize the long-term harm they are causing their children or the bad habits they are helping them to develop.”
Sometimes You Just Have To Bite Your Tongue
“The kid is about 9 years old – so like 3rd grade, I’ve known him since before he started school. His mom is an acquaintance of mine and the kid himself has had classes with one of my kids who is the same age.
She has forced herself into every activity and classroom that he’s ever been in. She starts off volunteering in the classroom normally – most teachers ask for a few hours one or two days a week of help in our school – but little by little she shows up more often whether the teacher asked her to or not. Some teachers have told her to stop, but others just let it happen.
She basically spends every day all day with him – never gives him any space. She hovers over everything he does and if it’s not perfect she ‘fixes’ it. Pretty sure she’s done his homework herself several times. Sometimes the teachers will send home an art project as homework, like a pumpkin to decorate in the fall or whatever, and he always looks like an adult did it alone.
She never lets him face any uncomfortable situations or adversity. She got actually mad when one day she said to the first-grade teacher, ‘he woke up in a sad mood today.’
The teacher answered, ‘I’ll keep an eye on him, but I think he’ll be okay.’ This was infuriating to her to the point where she vented to me about it. I had to ask her, ‘But was he okay though?’… Yeah. He was. What was she expecting you ask? She wanted the teacher to make a big fuss over him and give him special attention. She felt that the teacher didn’t care because she didn’t fall all over herself to coddle him.”
She’s Not A Regular Mom, She’s A Cool Mom
“I went to boarding school for high school and when I was a senior there was a freshman whose mother would drive three hours every weekend to be with her. On said weekends her mother wouldn’t take her out – she would hang out with her friends with her, to the point where I think the mother thought she was friends with her daughter’s friends. Feld trips? she would go. Band tours? She would make sure she was at every place they performed. The mother would try and assign extra homework for her to do on top of her school work, which went on until a dean found out and yelled at the mom.
I went to alumni this year and I stayed at an old staff member’s house. That happened to be where the class that graduated that year was having a gathering. Lo and behold, the girl was there, and so was her mother.”
First Hand Experience
“My mom sets up fake Facebook accounts with other peoples’ names (like her financial advisor) in order to see if she can view my Facebook page. I’m 38.
When I was married (age 31ish) she would reprimand me if I went places (grocery store, dinner with MY friends) without my husband. My mom is VERY independent.
This is a family rumor that she denies. She somehow got through on the phone with my college’s president and told him, ‘My daughter was a good Christian girl until she went to YOUR school.’ I went to a Christian college. I have no doubt that this ‘rumor’ actually happened. She’s definitely the type.
When I was in high school (age 16ish) I was allowed to walk 4-6 blocks to school. No one was ever allowed to use the telephone in the school office except in an emergency -except me. Everyone in town knows my mom AND her reputation. They bow to her whims because they pick their battles. So I was required to call my mom every morning when I arrived at school – I had special permission to use the phone. One morning I forgot, she called the principal, who called over the intercom in my classroom, whether I was in class because my mom was on the phone wondering if I had made it the 6 blocks to school.
Throughout my 18 years living with my parents, I spent ONE night alone at home. I was never allowed to be alone. Even as a teenager, on the rare occasion that both parents were not home overnight, I had to have a babysitter.”
Taking The Term “Helicopter Parenting” To A More Literal Level
“My brother was injured in a training accident in the Israeli army. It wasn’t life-threatening but it was a pretty messy injury that needed immediate care. For some reason, the base commander tried to hide the injury and refused to send my brother to the hospital. Instead, he sent him to the camp medic who took one look at my brother and said, ‘Here, have some morphine and holy God I’m going to call for help.’ My brother asked him to call my mom.
My mom, a military police colonel at the time, commandeered a helicopter along with a squad of MP’s. She then flew up into Lebanon where my brother was based, landed in the middle of his base, ordered her way into the medical tent while setting the MP’s outside as guards, loaded my brother into the chopper and medevacked him out.”
13 Going On 1
“A 13-year-old kid down the street’s mom, dad, and grandma were always with him. ALWAYS. He had NEVER been away from them even when they had a nanny to watch him, one of them was there. The kid was never on his own for anything and this was the creepiest thing I saw them do. We had them over for a party in the park and when the 13-year-old asked for a hot dog the mom FREAKED out (not because it was a hot dog, some parents have dietary restrictions) because I served them whole! She took the hot dog from his hand and cut it for him in little baby bites (like I would do for my 1-year-old at the time) Then handed it back to him like she saved his life. Let me be clear: he was a normal teen with no mental impediments. The dad took him to the bathroom with a gallon of sanitizer and baby wipes to ‘make sure’ that he washed his hands.
These people hold regular jobs one is a lawyer, one is an administrator at our local hospital and the grandma was an executive with the state attorney. They were from the Bay Area which we have a LOT of transplants from but they seem to have taken it to the next level helicoptering weirdness.”
If Mom Doesn’t Do It How Will They Ever Get Through Life?
“I was a trustee for my college fraternity. The final week of pledging has the recruits live in the fraternity house. We have them turn over their phones for the week. On day 2 of the week, campus police come knocking on the door looking for one of the recruits.
Turns out that his mother would call him every morning to wake him for class, then call again in the evening to discuss his homework schedule for the night. When she couldn’t get a hold of him, she started calling the local police department, campus safety, and even the dean of students.
I also have a friend that works as a recruiter for a big consulting firm. She specializes in hiring interns and co-ops. She has so many stories, including parents calling ahead of the interview to give a list of topics that make their child uncomfortable, calling after an interview for a debrief, showing up to the interview with their child, and calling mid-internship to get a status update.”
Must Have been A Slow Day At The Police Department
“I had moved out of a house I owned, but kept it and rented it out. I hired a property manager, a friend of my live-in girlfriend.
One day my girlfriend gets a call from the property manager. ‘Oh my God, is (my name) Okay?’
‘Um, yeah? He’s sitting right here,’ she said.
The police had shown up to the house, because it was the last known address my mother had for me, doubtless scaring the tenants. My mother had called me a couple days earlier, and I didn’t return the call, which could only mean that someone got me in my bed. (Granted, part of this is on the cops, who should have just called me or something, but still.)
I was 44 years old at the time. Yeah, there was a reason why I didn’t give my mother my new address… or the name of my workplace… or my girlfriend’s name… or news of her existence.”
Like A Creepier Big Brother
“As a kid, my sister had a friend and went over to her house quite a bit to hang out with her. The friend lived in a very nice, quiet neighborhood.
After a day of hanging with her friend at her house, my sister told me that her friend’s parents had placed cameras in her room. The camera was also equipped with a microphone to not only hear what was going on in her room but also to speak to the child.
My sister told stories after coming home about the mom calling into the room to sometimes tell them to stop doing an activity or to be a little quieter. THIS WOMAN WAS WATCHING THEIR EVERY MOVE AND LISTENING TO THEIR EVERY CONVERSATION!”
It Has To Be Someone Else’s Fault!
“I had a mother turn up at my workplace accusing me of prejudice because I didn’t hire her daughter. We’re a very multicultural practice and myself and 2 other people are white English, while there is also 6 Indian staff, 2 Greek, 2 Nigerian, 3 Chinese and 3 Pakistani. I took her to our photo wall of staff and asked her why she thinks I was prejudiced and she said that her daughter, ‘Looked more Indian than the other staff.’ Her daughter, who was more than qualified, didn’t get the job for a couple of reasons: 1) She refused to put her phone away during the interview in case her mother phoned. 2) Her mother phoned more than 10 times – she answered every call. 3) She asked if she could keep her mom on the phone to listen in to the interview in case she needed help to answer my questions.
How could she run a practice if she needed to have her mom help her during the interview?!”
How Does Her Mother Get Anything Done?
“My sister is a freshman in college and her roommate has an absolutely terrible helicopter mom. They’re both on the cross country team and very good students. My sister said the roommate never drinks or goes out, but her mom tracks her through phone GPS and will text her constantly asking why she’s at such-and-such place.
My sister said one time they were at Walmart getting groceries, and her mom called her to ask why she was at Walmart at 9 pm. Another time, they drove to my other sister’s (she lives in the same town) apartment to pick something up and the girl’s mom called and starts yelling and asking why she’s been sitting in a parking lot for 20 minutes. My sister said she’ll constantly have to send pictures of them at the library to her to prove they’re actually studying.”
That Stuff Will Mess You Up For Life
“I knew a kid way back in the day whose parents overly supervised everything he did. Did he want to play outside? Well, it has to be in the little park that’s 50 feet from their front door. Dad would just be staring out the windows. Any bad language? That’s a paddlin’. Sarcasm? You better believe that’s a paddlin’.
I remember one time someone had bought some Swedish Fish and was sharing them with everyone. The mom comes flying out and says, ‘You can only have ONE fish,’ and then watched him eat a single fish and make sure he wouldn’t eat any other.
Now the kid is so deep in the closet he’s wrapping Christmas presents and so stressed he could turn coal into diamonds.”
Who Knows What Could Happen To You In Line
“When my mom and brother came to visit me in the city I lived in at that time, we went to a building that is a tourist attraction. She’s already been there so she stayed down in some coffee shop while I and my brother went to go to the top.
There was a really big line and while we were waiting he was telling me about all the times she’d flip out because I wouldn’t reply to her for one day or so. We were joking that considering how long the whole tour of the building was taking, she’d probably already be talking to cops. When we got out, there she was, talking to a cop.
Because someone probably kidnapped two adults in a crowded building packed with security and tourists.”
Who Needs Independence Anyways
“I once listened to a coworker talk her son through the process of leaving their house, getting into the car, driving to the doctor’s office, getting out of the car, walking into the building and how to get to the actual doctor’s office and what son should do when he got in there. And mommy gave him directions in excruciating detail. For a doctor’s office 5 miles from their house that he’d previously been to. Mommy also had to walk him through getting a check, writing the check etc. Son was 28 years old, worked full time and was of average intelligence. He also had to bring a check because mommy didn’t allow him free access to his ATM card or his bank account.”
BANNED
“My wife being a teacher had to deal with this on a regular basis. Usually, she would have that parent do menial tasks so they would not bother the class. One parent became so overbearing (demanding to see lesson plans, making my wife take class time to re-explain subjects), my wife deliberately left a quiz out. This parent took the quiz and slipped her kid the answers. Knowing the kid was not a good student, my wife got the parent to fess up to taking the test and passing the answers. This went to the principal, and he banned her from the class. The parent made multiple complaints, even going to a district meeting. The school board held up the ban.”
Work So Hard An Adult Can’t Even Do It
“I used to teach middle school. The teacher next to me had given a 6th-grade girl a C on a paper because it didn’t meet the proper criteria. Her mom was livid and came into the school furious about the grade. After the teacher and mother went back and forth about the grade, the mother blurts:
I have a college degree and I took writing courses for four years, and I wrote this paper! Are you telling me I can’t get an A on a 6th-grade assignment?’
The teacher stuck to her words, but never answered the question.”
My Precious Angel Baby Would Never!
“An 18-year-old dude gets fired from his job as lot-attendant for doing something stupid with a car. His mom comes in with him later and complains to the manager about him being fired. Says her son, ‘would never do that.’ The manager and salesmen basically laugh them out of the building.”
(Points edited for clarity)