Everybody has a "bad cop story." Whether it's a phony speeding ticket or a pointless yelling match. The officers in these stories flip their lids to protect and serve with excessive parking tickets, yelling, and more yelling. Content has been edited for clarity.
Know What Goes Well With Pizza? Police Brutality, Baby!
“I was waiting outside my friend’s dorm building at 2 am waiting for pizza that we ordered. Pizza guy arrived and gave me my pizza. I tried to get back into the building but the door was locked and I forgot my key fob inside. I knocked on the glass door to try and get the desk attendant’s attention inside. Then, out of nowhere, I just got tackled to the ground! Someone is yelling for me to calm down. I replied okay but now they’re putting handcuffs on me. I was completely confused because admittedly I had been drinking and I thought it just was a friend who tackled me, not a cop. Honestly, this entire thing seemed like a joke at first. The officer kept screaming at me to calm down while I was just sitting on the ground not doing anything. Then the pizza guy comes over to the cop saying that he saw the whole thing and this is completely unjustified. He starts asking the cop for his badge number so he can report him for tackling and handcuffing me for no reason. After an intense yelling match, the cop let me go but I lost a pizza.”
Dude, Where’s My Car?
“I was visiting my girlfriend at her college and during those times, we would stay at the nearby Marriott. I always parked my car in the same lot, every weekend, without fail.
So the next day we’re walking to get some lunch and I pass by where my car should be and the lot is entirely empty. I tell my girlfriend, ‘Hey I think my car was right here yesterday, now it’s not.’ So instead of going to lunch, I call the police to report my car stolen. They quickly inform me the car was not stolen but they had it towed. I ask nicely where they put it and they respond to me that it is at the police station a mile away. I reluctantly walk the mile to the station.
The problem? The car is not there, so they give me another location as to where the car MIGHT be, so I walk there (another mile) and no dice on the car. I ask the attendant, ‘Do you know where my car is?’ and they inform me that if it’s not here, it’s in a non-numbered spot in Lot 1. I quickly inform them that is where my car started! So I walk all the way back to Lot 1 and it is not there. Finally, I find it in an offshoot parking lot off of Lot 1.
The car is slightly damaged (I was meticulous about the car, so I knew it was not that way before). I drive it over to the police station and I want to file a report about the damage to my vehicle. The police officer will not look at the car, or even talk to me about it. He is convinced I drove the car down knowing it was scratched and was trying to blame his department for it.
Weeks later, I received a letter in the mail stating that my car was banned from Maryland until I paid the ticket. Thing was, I hadn’t paid for it because I was still fighting it in court. Long story short, I continued to fight the ticket and eventually won. And that is how I simultaneously lost my car and got it banned from the entire state of Maryland.”
When A Day Can’t Get Any Worse
“My car was parked on the street legally in the town my college inhabits and my car got smacked so hard by another car that the force drove it up partially on the curb. I go back to my car and there’s a parking ticket waiting for me on the windshield for illegal parking. Now, I have a wrecked car and ticket to pay. Thank you, campus police!”
Sometimes Following The Law Gets You A Nice $450 Ticket
“I saw a police officer take a left in a ‘straight only’ lane and nearly hit my car while I was turning left. He said there were two left turn lanes and he gave me a $450 ticket for failure to stop, unnecessary acceleration, improper lane change, and driving while distracted. I took the ticket to trial and won, but had to take six days off of work just to prove an obnoxious cop turned in the wrong lane.
In all, the trial was about 30 minutes of my lawyer appealing to the judge. I showed the judge the pictures of the intersection and said it was a sunny day and the officer must have mistaken the breakdown lane for a full traffic lane. Case was dismissed. All this work and trouble just to break even on a parking ticket I didn’t even deserve. Watch out, guys.”
Seven Teens In A Minivan vs. A Cop
“After a night of hanging out playing video games in my parent’s garage at the ripe age of 18, I decide to take about seven of my friends home since I was the only one who could drive. It’s about 3am, I am literally pulling my old Eurovan out of my own driveway when two squad cars charge up both sides of my street, block me in, and then four more cars, two from each side of the street roll down and further block any traffic from entering the street. A cop casually approaches and demands to know where I live and what I’m doing out so late. I hand him my license, literally point to my house, and then gestured to the crowd of scared teenage boys cowering in the back of my van.
Apparently they had gotten a noise complaint about two hours ago and were staking out the site. The cop accuses us of smoking pot and that he can tell because it has a sort of sweet smell. Let me tell you, I hadn’t started smoking pot yet but when I did, I tried to identify that ‘sweet smell.’ Nine years of medicinal later and I still haven’t smelt anything sweet The cop even went as far to say I am lying and picks up a burnt cig butt off the street and threatens to have me charged with littering.
This is was what broke the camel’s back: all at once my friends in the back start cracking up with laughter. My one straight edge friend wipes his tears away long enough to say, ‘Sir, you can do that, you’ll lose. This guy here has never smoked a cig in his life.’ Red-faced, the cop walks away and we spend the next 15 minutes laughing our butts off at all the cops who tried to back out the street they’d so expertly blocked. I swear it looked like something out of a Benny Hill tape. We have a saying here; ‘It’s illegal to be 18-22 in San Clemente, California.’ Cops are so bored in that town. Side note, I found out the next day that butt belonged to the one friend who walked home. He saw all the cops, tossed his butt and dived under a car and watched the whole thing, scared himself senseless”
The Bus Stop Conspiracy
“My mother used to tell us a story of when she was a young teacher and had to drive somewhere. She parked her car on the side of the road and the local council came and built a bus-stop around her car while she was doing whatever she’d gone into town for; when she got back, she’d been given a fine. Sounds almost too weird to be true but I always enjoyed hearing my mum talk of the bus-stop conspiracy.”
There you have it. Watch out for for local municipalities or they might just build an entire bus stop around your parked car when you’re not looking. The cops are in on it too, man.
Left Turn? What Left Turn?
“My mom and I were sitting at a busy intersection, waiting to turn left. In all four directions, there were double left turn lanes, a single straight lane, and a single right turn lane. We were in the rightmost left turn lane, just waiting, blinker on. My mom remarked that there was a cop behind us, but neither of us thought much of it.
The light turned green with the arrow, so we turned left. The cop behind us instantly flashed his lights and pulled us over. When he came up to the car, we were confused.
‘You made an illegal turn,’ he said.
‘From the turn lane?’ my mom asked.
‘That wasn’t a turn lane. That was a straight lane. You were in the straight lane but turned left.’
Mom and I just looked at each other. ‘Umm, that was a double left turn lane… Just like in all the other directions…’
The cop got testy. ‘No, it was a single left turn lane, and you messed up.’ I think he was starting to doubt himself a bit, though, as we kept staring at him with bewilderment and looking at each other. He ended up letting my mom off with a warning.
I drove back to that intersection the next day, and of course, it was a double left turn in every direction. Not sure what kind of power trip that cop was on that day…. At least he didn’t write us a ticket.”
A Headache And A Blood Test
“I headed over to my parent’s house after work one night and got pulled over for allegedly running a stop sign. The cop asked for my license and registration, then came back to my car and asked me to step out. He gave me a sobriety test and based on that, said he had reason to believe I was under the influence. NO, I’m not a pothead. I’m literally just a 26 year-old male with long hair. He arrested me and took me to the hospital to get my blood drawn. I was completely cooperative the whole time because I knew I was clean. I don’t do any type of substances and only drink occasionally. After waiting six weeks for the results from the blood test to come back, I showed up to court and got my results. Negative. The case was dropped. I found out six months later that this cop had done this to hundreds of people over his career and he was fired.”
A Truly Lousy Move From A No Good Cop
“My stepdad is diabetic. One night, he goes into hypoglycemia and isn’t responsive. There’s blood everywhere (later on we found out he bit his tongue) and he’s just generally seizing up and scaring us senseless.
We called an ambulance. I had to stay home, so my mom took the car and followed the ambulance.
As she arrives at the hospital, she frantically tries to find a parking spot. She sees a cop and asks him if parking at the spot she’s at is alright. The cop says no, it’s a no-parking zone, but since it’s an emergency and she’s just trailing the ambulance, she can park there and he’ll ‘take care of it.’
After the returns to the vehicle a few hours later: ticketed for a parking violation by the same cop who told her to park there.
As for my stepdad, he got better.”
Pro Tip: Don’t Willingly Give Money to Cops, Okay
“Got pulled over in Louisiana. First question out of his mouth is, ‘Do you have any large amounts of money anywhere in the car?’ I said yes, I have $100 in the glovebox. This was 1995 and I was a broke college student, that was real money then. He goes in the glove box, pulls the cash (out of the envelope that said ‘Happy birthday, love gramma’) and walks off.
He then gives me a ticket for ‘excessive acceleration.’ Mind you, wasn’t speeding, wasn’t redlining. Takes my license, says, ‘We’re keeping it until you pay up. I can lead you to the station.’ (mind you, I have no license, just a receipt for it he gave me). He does so at 80mph, where I’m forced to pay up.
Turns out, it’s perfectly legal to seize any and all cash in a car. The standard is ‘suspicion of illegal activity.’ You do not have to be guilty of anything for them to take all the cash you have.”
When They’re Wrong, They’re Definitely Wrong
“I’ve crossed paths with a cop or two. I just don’t get what the big deal about being mistaken is. One time a cop pulled me over because he claimed that my headlight was out. But I had pulled over in front of a building and could clearly see that both my headlights were reflecting back at me. I asked him to double check and he thought that I was trying to trick him by turning my brights on. I wasn’t, but rather than admit that he was wrong, he insisted that my lights must have had a short circuit and that I should get that looked at.
Years later, my transmission blew but the lights still worked like beautiful, bright beacons of truth! I loved that car… But anyway, is there something in a cop’s training that says that they can never admit to being wrong? It never seems to happen! I don’t get it.”
The Need For Speed — Or Lack Thereof
“One night in college, me and some friends are pulling an all-nighter studying and we decide to go to Wendy’s at 3 am for a Frosty and 99 cent nuggies (you know, because we’re poor). I’m with Mike in his ’88 Nissan (or the close equivalent) and a couple other friends are with Matt in his ’00 (brand new) red Mustang. We go to Wendy’s and eat our ice cream and are on our way back. The streets are deserted (no pun intended) and we come up to a red light where two lanes go straight and both cars are stopped side-by-side. Mike revs the tiny four cylinder engine in his old Nissan as a joke. Matt revs his V-8 beast back and we all have a good laugh. The light turns green and we all drive off at a normal pace. Blue lights ensue.
Can you guess what happened? If you guessed that my friend in the Mustang got arrested for drag racing then you guessed right. And no, not a ticket. Straight up arrested. He tried to get it dismissed, but no luck. It’s a serious crime too, and he now has to put on job applications that he was arrested before.”
Slick Cars Are Great At Getting Babes And Cops
“My brother and I both had nice cars when we were in high school. The deal with my parents was that if we worked and had good grades, they would buy us each a nice car.
One night, he and some friends are hanging out at Sonic eating ice cream and shakes and just killing time. They’re leaning against the hood of my brother’s Corvette and one of the girls spills her peanut butter ice cream explosion mouthgasm (or whatever they sell there) on his car, so they all decide to drive to the car wash about three blocks away and wash it off. Little did they know, two police officers had been watching them because they assumed that a high school kid with a nice car absolutely must be a dealer (my brother does not do narcotics).
When they get to the car wash, the cops pull in FBI raid style and handcuff my brother and his friends and then break out the narcotics dog. The dog commences to lick the peanut butter ice cream which has been clearly spilled on the hood. This causes the two officers to get stupidly excited because they classify that as a hit, meaning there must something in the car. They proceed to search the Corvette and call my parents informing them that my brother is going to be arrested for possession. Just great.
There is one little problem, however…they don’t find anything. My mom and dad jump in their car and haul it to the car wash, ready to chew out my brother for being so stupid. They arrive and are informed of the situation. My dad tried to get at the officer for being such a ‘stupid imbecile,’ but my mom and another cop were between them. They had a nice yelling match where my dad had his finger in the cop’s face the entire time and called him a variety of colorful things. How my dad didn’t get arrested for trying to fight that cop is a mystery to me. The police finally release my brother and his friends after my mom points out that there is ice cream on the hood and the cops refuse to admit that the dog was just enjoying some delicious peanut butter ice cream, not searching for narcotics. Not even an apology was given.
Long story short, a police dog’s love of peanut butter ice cream lands my brother in handcuffs and my dad attempts to strangle an officer. A typical day in the US of A.”
Cops vs. Parents
“When I was 12 or 13, my two friends and I would basically spend our entire summers staying up all night playing video games (like everyone else, I imagine). Well one night we’re complaining about how my mom didn’t buy any snack food for us and it dawned on us… we could walk to the store. Sure it was a few miles away but it would rule! We could buy whatever we wanted and no one could stop us!
So, we embark on our adventure with all of $15. We spend the whole walk talking about how awesome the food is going to be. It took us at least an hour to get to the store, but it was more than worth it. We choose donuts and some Swedish Fish, the snack food of the gods. It’s around 3 am.
As we start walking home with our food, we see a police car drive by us. It passes us and I think to myself, ‘It’s so nice to live on a nice side of town where police keep us safe.’ Flash of lights. The police car skids to a stop and then drives backwards until he’s right next to us. He steps out of the car and asks us where we’re going.
‘Oh we’re just going home sir, we just decided to walk to-‘
‘HOW OLD ARE YOU?!’
‘Sorry? 12,’ I say.
‘You’re far too young to be here. It’s night time. Do you know what kind of people are out after night time? Us and them. Cops and Robbers. I’m a COP. Who are YOU? Are you a cop?’
I suppose this was a rhetorical question, but when I answered, ‘No.’
‘I DIDN’T THINK SO GET IN THE CAR!’ he yells.
He then proceeds to drive us all back to my parents house, wakes them up, and explains that we were out walking around, up to no good. My parents told him that nothing is wrong with a couple of kids walking to the store to buy some food and that they were irritated that he woke them up. He then proceeded to tell my parents that they needed to do a better job raising their son, and that’s when my dad just shut the door in his face.
That’s the day I realized that my parents were awesome.”
Invasion of Privacy
“One time I was visiting a friend of mine who lived about an hour from where I live. When I was walking back to where I parked my car, there were two police officers in my back seat tearing my car apart for narcotics/open containers. As I approached and asked why this was happening, their response was, ‘We got a call that you are here drinking and planning on driving home inebriated.’ I had not had one sip of anything but the officers refused to breathalyze me, saying ‘You’re destroyed, just look at you,’ as their response. Apparently I always look trashed.
They didn’t find anything incriminating in my car, or so I thought. A young officer walked up to me with a blue rag he found (used to open my oil tank) and said, ‘Oh, so you’re a crip? Why don’t you throw up some gang signs and maybe if you do them right, we’ll let you go!’ I told him he was being ridiculous. I am far from a gang member and he was just trying to set me off. I was told that I had 45 minutes to get a ride home (an hour away at 1 am) or I’d be arrested. Luckily I got the ride but my car was towed and a 12 hour hold was put on it. I ended up paying $280 for not drinking and driving, but felt like a total tough guy because the receipt says I was endangering the public. I haven’t been back to that town since. Forget that place.”
Justice Is Served (Finally)
“I changed lanes in front of an undercover cop car. There was plenty of room, but dude proceeds to speed up and ride my bumper. I sped up to change lanes and let him pass, but he continued following me til he pulled me over. I do admit I should have maintained speed rather than give into his intimidation. Dude gave me three tickets and was a total prick, even when I was trying to be nice and cooperative.
I found out today he was busted by his own department for driving under the influence on duty last week. Thank you, universe!”