These are not your average “we met at Comicon, I asked for an autograph” type celebrity encounters. These are up-close and personal, salacious celebrity drive-bys.
This piece is based on an AskReddit thread. Link on the last page.
1. When I was about 13, my cousin surprised me and took me to Leonardo DiCaprios house. My cousins newlywed husband was very good friends with him. This was around 15 years ago too, when Leo was in his absolute prime, and unbeknownst to him I was completely and utterly obsessed.
I’ll never forget sitting on his white leather couch just waiting for him to walk into the room we were all in. Then, all of a sudden, he appeared out of nowhere with a trail of smoke behind him, high as a kite with a fat joint in between his fingers. I didn’t even recognize him due to his scruffy beard and long matted hair.
swampoodle
2. A guy walked by me at the airport as I sat waitingto board and, I kid you not, farted mere inches from my face. I looked up, itwas Bon Jovi.
JaytheFarmer
3. I rode in a hotel elevator with Red Sox pitcherDerek Lowe at like 2 in the morning while he was making out with two women atthe same time.
WhipCityUrchin
4. Friend of ours is a hotel hospitality manager. Shewas alone in a room with Russell Brand. He very politely offered to have sexwith her. She said her husband was waiting downstairs for her. Brand said hecould come up too.
frezor
5. I was in the bathroom of arestaurant in Vegas taking a crap. In walks someone and sits in the next stall.After a couple moments I hear “holy god what died over there?” Iapologize and eventually get up and wash my hands. As I was drying them theother stall flushes and out steps Ryan Reynolds. (continued…)
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If I hadn’t of just pooped I would’vepooped in my pants. He looks at me and just shakes his head and asks what I ateso that he doesn’t do this to his wife. I just mutter Subway.
Anyways, we continued talking whilehe was drying his hands & he asked where my table was, I tell him, and bythe fate of god he was sitting just a few over. Next thing I know my girlfriendand I are sitting at the same table as Reynolds and his wife.
Honestly the bestthree hour dinner I’ve ever had. I’ve meet other famous people before, but I’venever meet anyone as genuine and down to earth as him.
just_a_manatee
6. My mom was on herhoneymoon in Hawaii when she bumped into OJ Simpson (before he went crazy).
He looked at herand asked if she wanted to head to his room.
She pointed at herring finger and said “oh I just got married ” He take her hand andputs it down, looks at her and says “that matters why?”
In the end shecalled over my dad and he took a picture of her with OJ Which is now forever inher honeymoon album.
momojaya
7. Back in the 90’s, when Jean Claude Van Damme wasthe man, my dad was at a Vegas hotel and went down to use the sauna. He was inthere shooting the breeze with a business partner and in walks Van Damme. Hesays “if you are who I think you are, you are my sons favorite actionstar.” Van Damme confirmed and told him to tell me hello from him.
The weird part is that they were all naked.
majorchamp
8. I was shooting behind the scenes photos of a D-list celebrity boxing tournament in college. After a long day of witnessing the power of egos and 15 minutess of fame – the Octomom giving me Advil for my back, Coolio calling me a G, and seeing Jose Canseco put on fake tattoo sleeves – I was ready for drink. (continued…)
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I had been talking to an absolutely beautiful ring girl and she wanted to join me for a beer after the fights ended. We went upstairs to the bar and she went to get us a table. I went over to the bar and while waiting for the drinks, the pornstar Ron Jeremy came up next to me!
He said he had seen me talking to the girl all night and offered to wing-man for me. Luckily my confidence was already sky high for getting the girl to come drink with me, so I politely declined and went to join her waiting at a table nearby.
jarabara
9. I was at a hotel in SouthAfrica looking for the bathroom when I got lost and ran into LaurenceFishburne in a hallway. I pretended like I didn’t know who he was and asked ifhe knew where the bathroom was, like I probably would have asked anyone anyway.
He was a very nice guy and walked me to the bathroom where he said,”the men’s room is on the left, the women’s room is on the right, thechoice is yours.” I almost died.
oimebaby
10. I had a friend who met Jason Segel at a bar in LA.She said he was fairly drunk and all over the place with their conversation. Atpoint he just point blank said to her, “So are we gonna have sex?”
She said,”No….” He responded “OK” and then just walked away backto his table.
hitnballz
11. Me and my Dad met Rick Astley. I shook his hand, andsaid, “Big fan.”
Dad didn’t shakehis hand: “Sorry, my hands are sticky.”
Rick smiles andsays, “my hands are usually sticky too”, then grins.
RobCoxxy
12. My sister ran into MatthewMcConaughey in a bar years ago. They hit it off, and they went back to herplace. (continued…)
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She got overwhelmed by nerves and said she had to go run out to her car to get something. She sat in her car freaking out for god knows how long until he eventually gave up and left. Must’ve baffled the poor guy.
ser_drunk_the_lunk
13. My friend was peeing next to Shaq at a club in Miami. Of course he can’t keep his eyes on the road, and tried to sneak a peek at Shaqs junk. Shaq turns to him, smiles and says, “crazy right? Big guy, regular penis.”
bdeee
14. I got drunk with Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin) once. We would be mid conversation and some new random girl would walk up, he’d stop talking, make out with her for like 2 minutes, and then send them on their way and return to the conversation. Super surreal.
needawp
15. I was working on a behind the scenes featurette for a movie starring Keanu Reeves and Renne Zellweger. I had to wire the mic under Renee’s shirt and clip it to her bra, and I totally accidentally grabbed her boob.
She looked me right in the eye and said, Jeez, buy me a drink first okay? Sadly, that did not happen.
willymac200
16. One of my favorite movies growing up was Crocodile Dundee. Much later in life I am hanging out with a girl I was casually seeing at a hotel bar in San Diego, and Paul Hogan was there.
We put down a few drinks then I figured I would go say whats up and tell him how I loved Crocodile Dundee and see if I could get an autograph.
I was drunk but I remember the interaction pretty clearly – I went over to chat and he was not that cool, which was fine. But then he started asking about the girl I was with and if she would like an autograph. I got the sense he wanted to give her something else as well. (continued)
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That lead to him propositioning me for what I thought would be a threesome. I was entertaining this idea, as the thought of tag teaming this girl (who I was not officialy dating) with Mick Dundee would be pretty cool.
So she came over and everything was really cool. Fast-forward 10 mins and he said, why don’t we go up to my room? That “we” didn’t include me. I got to sit at the bar while my friend with benefits went and had sex with Mick Dundee, and he never even gave me that autograph or came back down.
confusedbossman
17. I was in a very large men’s room at a performance venue taking a pee. I was about 15 urinals deep and the bathroom was completely empty besides me. In walks Jack Black.
He sidles right up to the urinal next to me. Nothing wierd happened, but I always found it bizzare that he didn’t space himself out better. That’s a man code violation.
Sbtoby
18. My friend pantsed (full pantsing with penis out and the whole shabang) his brother and James Franco saw everything.
It was near where John Lennon was shot, by that patch of flowers. His brother was wearing a James Franco selfie t-shirt at the time.
Franco pointed at his shirt and did like a finger gun and wink thing. Then his brother said, “James Franco just winked at me” and then he got pantsed. Franco’s eyes bulged a bit and he started laughing and shaking his head. He never broke pace, just kept walking. After he was a ways past us he loudly said, rockin shirt man!
wentzamania
19. I live in Las Vegas. This happened one summer while I was in high school in the mid 90’s. I had just got my drivers license. I was at the Forum Shops at Caesar’s Palace with a friend and there was a crowd outside the Versace store so we went over to see what was going on.
Mike Tyson and his entourage were shopping inside and they had locked the doors for him. But we wanted to meet Mike Tyson! (continued…)
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After a while, his entourage disappeared into the back of the store and we realized that they were headed to employee parking behind the store. We ran down the corridor next to the store and headed toward where his crew were loading up Persian rugs and shopping bags into a Range Rover while Iron Mike was putting on a helmet and jumping onto a sport bike.
My buddy and I start waving at him and right as he makes eye contact my friend switches from a wave to flipping him off. Mike ripped off the helmet and started shouting obscenities at us while we ran back into the mall crapping our pants, hoping to God Mike Tyson didnt come kick our asses.
i3eefcake
20. My mom grew up with Rob Lowe as her neighbor. She “dated” him in middle school and they were apparently found making out in a closet at school one time. She says that he was one of those kissers that uses enough tongue to lick your vocal cords. Thanks for the heads up, mom.
danceluver365
21. David Spade is exactly the kind of person you’d expect him to be. He opened for Bobcat Goldthwait once, and my roommate’s best friend was Bobcats brother.
I got to go backstage after the show and we were sitting in a circle with Bob’s brother and there was another group of people just standing off to the side.
Bob came out of the shower and sat down next to me and started talking. Genuinely a good guy. Spent 20 minutes talking with him. One of the people standing off to the side was a girl on crutches. I felt bad so I suggested that they pull up a chair and join us. To help her I got up and pulled a chair over for her. I turned around and Spade took my seat, flipped me the bird and told me to f off.
moesdad