There’s always a risk associated with jobs that require visiting strangers’ homes. You never quite know what, or rather whom, you’re going to get. Here, delivery men and women share the weirdest experience they’ve ever had while on the job.
1. If only you knew the power of the dark side…
I had a friend who got robbed by a guy dressed as Darth Vader… TWICE. No idea if it was the same person or not. Never deliver pizza in Florida, y’all.
2. How Frank Underwood of him.
I delivered pizzas in my hometown. I live in Westchester, NY and there are some celebrity residents. Anyway, one day I delivered to a very nice house but nothing that made me think twice. I rang the doorbell, and who opens the door but Kevin Spacey.
He asks me how much and I tell him $39.37 (I will remember the price to this day). He then pulls out two $20 bills from his wallet, looks at them awkwardly, and yells back into the house, “Honey, do you have any singles?” A response from somewhere: “No.”
Kevin Spacey gave me a 63 cent tip.
Posting for my dad, who is a mailman. Not exactly something that happened because of a weird recipient, but definitely an interesting situation. Dad’s delivering the mail, a guy walks up to him and says, “Hey, my dog’s missing. He’s a big white dog, very friendly, have you seen him?”
Dad says he hasn’t but will keep an eye out.
A few neighborhoods later this happy-go-lucky white dog comes bumbling up to the mail truck. Dad gives him a pat on the head and opens up the back of the truck for the dog, who immediately leaps in. Thinking he’s about to make this guy’s day, he rushes back to the original neighborhood, finds the guy with the missing dog and tells him the good news. He opens up the back of the truck only for the guy to give him a weird look and say, “Um…that’s not my dog.”
That’s when dad realizes that the neighborhood he took the dog from had a bunch of kids playing around in it, in the general direction the dog came from.
4. She was definitely playing favorites.
I used to deliver pizza. Every week we’d get an order from this lady that appeared to be living at a motel in the area. No matter what the weather was like she would always open the door wearing long sleeves, sweater, long pants and white cotton gloves. Apparently I was the only delivery guy that was nice to her though so she would start calling and asking if I was working that night and if I wasnt she wouldnt order. She would only order if she knew that I was going to be the one to deliver her pizza.
5. Good one…
Attempted to deliver a pizza back in my delivery days to a guy who thought it’d be funny to scream, “GO AWAY!! I’VE GOT A GUN!!” after I rang the doorbell. So, I sprinted back to my car and left rivets in his gravel driveway while speeding out.
He proceeded to call the store and complain that I’d left. I told the GM what happened and she called the guy back and told him that he would not be allowed to ever order pizza again. On the bright side, I got free pizza that day.
6. “It wasn’t me!”
I deliver pizza. I took the delivery and this girl answered the door wearing only a towel, she looked like she just jumped out of the shower. She smiles at me a little flirtatiously, her towel is barely covering everything. Her mom turns the corner and yells, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” And chases her daughter upstairs. The girl got this hilarious “oh crap” look on her face as she ran too. The mother then came back, paid, then I simply left.
I delivered pizza for ten years. Once the door was answered by a middle aged man who ripped the door open, screamed, “THERE’S NOBODY….(pause)…HOME!!!!” Then slammed the door in my face.
I stand there for about 45 seconds before a young woman answers the door and says, “Oh, hi. Sorry, that’s just Jerry,” then proceeds with the transaction like nothing is going on while Jerry marches around the house with his hands in the air screaming, “THERE’S NOBODY HOME. THERE’S NOBODY HOME. THERE’S NOBODY HOME.”
8. He could have at least tried to make it look real…
My strangest experience was delivering to a trailer park. I pull up and the guy is outside waiting for me.
I tell him his total and he hands me a “twenty.” Now this twenty was the size of monopoly money, was in a black and grey color scheme, and printed on obvious printer paper. You could also see where he messed up cutting it with scissors.
Now, I had no training on the matter, and apparently you are just supposed to take the money, and notify the store. But I was young and dumb so I told him there was no way I was taking that.
He gets pissed! He is screaming and saying he will call the police. I then call the police… and he is promptly arrested for drug offences and counterfeit currency.
9. At least he got the ten dollars.
Delivered to an old lady smoking pot and listening to Hendrix in her backyard. She says she’ll give me a ten dollar tip if I take my shirt off. I just look at her and laugh. She says it again so I take it off and flex a bit to earn the money.
The lady grumbles, says it wasn’t worth $10 but gives it to me anyway.
10. Ah, the ol’ invisible Sunday night regular.
I delivered pizza as a second job for a while. I had one regular Sunday night customer. He refused to leave the house or make physical contact so he had developed a system where I would place his pizza and soda on a platform and he would pull it up from his second floor window. I never actually saw him, just spoke to him on the phone. The order was always the same, a large Meat Lover’s pizza and a 2-litre bottle of Pepsi.
11. Major plot twist.
On the receiving end of a pizza delivery…
After about 45 minutes of waiting for my pizza, I almost call the place when my doorbell rings. I open the door to a young man in his 20s who looks kind of sweaty and nervous. I take the pizza and give him a $20 it was like a $16 pizza. He tells me he has no change, I tell him keep it. He leaves quickly. Lots of deliveries I figure.
My family starts eating the pizza when the phone rings. It’s the pizza place apologizing for the slow service and promises my pizza will be here in 15 minutes.
I let them know I just got my pizza, it’s all good. Then they tell me that their driver was robbed of his money and pizzas. The robber had delivered the pizza to me.
12. Yikes, no thank you!
I used to deliver pizzas in a very wealthy area of Dallas.
One delivery was for 5 large pizzas to a this really nice house. I walked in the kitchen and set the pizzas on the table. When I looked around I noticed there were a lot of older men and women dressed up, drinking, and there was kind of a strange vibe — it felt like a swingers party.
As I left, the host asked me what time I got off work, which was around 8pm, then asked if I would come back and strip for $200.
I said no.
13. Go big or go home, right?
The best delivery I ever had was to a medical marijuana dispensary in Colorado Springs when I was in school. They’d ordered over $80 of our most random menu items – desserts, appetizers, pastas. No pizza however. Anyway I get there expecting a huge party and it was just two stoned guys and a dog. They were so happy to see me and gave me the biggest tip I ever got!
14. Thanks for the warning!
I delivered pizza for a few months when I was in college. It was a little town about 15 minutes from my university. I got a delivery one day to this old house that had been turned into apartments. I go to knock on the door and it is covered in weird signs (biohazard, no trespassing, caution, etc…). The guy answers the door and he is about 50 years old with long, messy, grey hair, wearing only a lab coat and the only light on in the apartment is a strobe light.
Guy: “Who are you?”
Me: “I’m here to deliver your food.”
Guy: “Why should I believe that?”
Me: (confused) “Um, I’m holding it right here?”
Guy: “Fine, take your money. You should get out of here though, this place will be crawling with feds any minute.”
I got the heck out of there.
15. Whelp, that’s a little unsettling.
I work at Domino’s and had a delivery to a house that was in one of the rich neighborhoods. I pull up to the house, drive down a long-ass driveway, and when I finally get to the door, I see an envelope taped to it. There is nothing written on it except “Domino’s” on one side, and “leave on doorstep” on the other. Inside is enough money to cover the pizza and a $10 tip. I look around kind of awkwardly, before setting the pizzas on the doormat, and putting the money in my pocket.
While I’m walking back to my car, I turn back around to look at the house, and lo and behold, the pizzas are no longer on the doormat. I didn’t hear a door, and it hadn’t been but 4 or 5 seconds since I had turned around. I also notice as I was getting back in my car, that there were cameras all around the perimeter of the house on the walls, painted the same color as the house to blend in. I drove away and not a single care was given.
16. What do I look like to you?
As a driver for Domino’s years ago, a customer asked if I would throw this bag of fish guts in the dumpster on my way out. I looked at him like seriously? and said I’d do it for three bucks.
He balked at my offer and then I reminded him that I’m the pizza delivery guy, not the garbage man. He gave me the three bucks and the bag. I disposed of the bag as requested and was three dollars closer to being super rich.
17. Are those just regular mushrooms, or…
When I was a young college student, I needed money all the time. I lived in a crappy apartment above a pizza shop. The owner asked if I’d like a second job, occasionally delivering pizza when they needed someone. Convenient, because I live upstairs.
He said, “Do not ever, EVER open the box of pizza, do you understand?” Young and stupid me figured it was because the pizza would get cold. I’d get mad good tips.
That’s because a couple of years later the guy got busted and it turned out I’d been delivery drugs via these pizzas.
So I’m in the store taking pizzas out of the oven. We get a call for a $30+ order, which is a decent size order as our large pizzas were only $5. I load up my car with their food and head over to the address.
I’m driving up the street and I can see a bunch of cars parked on either side of the street. I see some Ford Rangers and Camaro so I’m thinking that it’s just some kids throwing a party.
I head up to the door, knock and am greeted by a 30-something female. Odd. Maybe the chaperone? Then another one comes along to help with the food. Then a third woman with something draped over her shoulder appears.
They invite me to step inside (it was winter in Michigan), so I oblige, and am greeted by about fifteen women (all in their 30’s or 40’s) crammed in a living room. I took a picture with a couple of them for giggles then went on my way.
So it turns out that I went to a sex toy version of a Tupperware party.
19. Those poor cats!
Delivered a stove and refrigerator to a house with about 25 cats and not a litter box in sight. The smell was horrible. It was the only house that, in the 4 years of working there, we ever told our boss that we refuse to ever go there again.
20. It wasn’t so bad after all.
I delivered pizzas this past summer for a national pizza company. On my first closing shift, I had a $115 order I had to deliver at 1 in the morning. They were paying with cash and lived in the bad part of the town next to mine.
So I was either about to get pranked or get robbed. Either way I wasn’t too excited. I got to the house and these four big guys were outside. I grabbed some of the pizzas and they led me inside. They were having a rager. People were dancing all over the place, lights were going crazy. Stuff like that. They tipped me $15 and gave me two beers for after work.
21. Don’t worry, it’s only pocket change.
I had to deliver and set up a fish tank for a rich dude when I was in school.
It was winter, and the house (giant) was down a hill.
I slid the delivery truck down the hill and smashed it into his garage. I was freaking out.
He was like, “Don’t worry about it,” as I was looking at his smashed garage.
22. A genius idea.
I delivered pizzas for a spell in a rough part of town and getting food stolen out of our cars was a constant problem. You would go to the door of a house and when you got back to your car the pizzas would be gone and the hot bags would be strewn all over the street.
A buddy of mine came up with a great idea to combat this problem. He got a bucket of wings and put them in his trunk. He let them putrefy there for three or four weeks and then left them in the back seat of his car while he was working. Sure as heck and it didn’t take long, someone lifted the decaying wings and presumably ate them. I just wish I knew the ending of this story.
23. Wow, thanks a lot, dude.
I used to work for a delivery service in IL. I had a package to deliver that took me to this really rich neighborhood. I parked on the street, and had to walk a good five minutes to get to this guys house since we weren’t allowed to park in driveways.
I finally get to the door and deliver the package and the conversation went like this:
Guy: Hey, thanks for the package.
Me: No problem, have a nice day!
Guy: Are you allowed to receive tips?
Me: I am allowed, but it’s not necessary.
Guy: I insist, let me get my wallet.
Me: Ok sir, well I really appreciate it.
Guy: You see, I own all the McDonalds around here, do you like McDonalds?
Me: Uh, sure I do.
Guy: Alright, here you go (hands me a $1.00 off coupon on a flurry).
24. That’s what I call determination.
I once delivered to a drunk, pantsless girl who was so excited to see me bringing the pizza to the door that she fell off her porch into the bushes, threw up in them, then got up and paid for the pizza like it was no big thing.
25. Grand slams warrant that reaction, in my humble opinion.
I deliver t-shirts and printed goods for a small company. One day, I had to go downtown to a lawyers office. It was midday and there was a particularly awesome comeback being made by the Atlanta Braves that day against the Cincinnati Reds.
I am waiting in the office with the secretary listening to the game on the radio. He wouldn’t help me until the game was over (it was the last at bat). The Braves’ Brooks Conrad ends up hitting a walk off grand slam. The secretary went bonkers and started running around the office screaming, “GRAND SLAM CONRAD, GRAND SLAM CONRAD!”, for at least a minute. He proceeded to hug me since I was wearing a Braves hat.
26. Whelp, that was anti-climatic.
Delivered pizzas to a house late one night some douche opens the door naked holding a cowboy hat over his junk and denies ordering pizza. I say, “Maybe one of your friends ordered?” He yells, “Anyone order pizza?” Dude walks out of the kitchen with what looked like whipped cream or shaving cream on his junk and says, “I think you got the wrong house.”
So I left.
27. Hmm, I think I’ll pass.
I was delivering pizza to a condo that had locked gates that I couldn’t get in. I parked on the side of the road and when I got back in the car a security guard ran up and told me I couldn’t leave. Confused, I ask why not and he says that the tow truck is already on it’s way for my car. I tell him, “No thanks, I’ll just drive it away” and drove away as he looked confused.
28. I guess you can never have enough?
I used to run a moving company in South Boston. We were a budget company, so most folks (in excess of 90%) did their own packing, and we just shlepped their stuff from point A to B.
One time this lady had a super heavy, refrigerator sized box (in excess of 100lbs by a good bit) that was just covered in duct tape and packing tape. As I got it through the doorframe, I caught it on something metal and the box ripped apart.
Out came no less than 347 dildos, one of which was about the dimensions of an average Boston fire hydrant, and another that was literally mounted to what appeared to be a small jackhammer, as well as a male sex doll and a disassembled Sybian.
I was moving her into a really nice house in West Newton. All she said was, “Please, don’t judge me.” I just said, “Do you happen to have any gloves? I’ll help you with this and we need not speak of it again.”
Thousand dollar tip at the end of that job.
29. At least they kept things fair.
Several years ago, I was delivering sandwiches in the downtown of a large city. There was a nice high rise apartment building next to the building our shop was in.
A woman named “Cinnamon” started ordering to her penthouse apartment there almost every day, different sandwiches, but always with one of our giant pickles.
She always answered the door in a robe with lingerie clearly under it, and gave us exorbitant tips for literally going around the corner and up an elevator to make the delivery. The tips weren’t over $20, but it was substantial enough that when her order came in we would be like, “Who wants Cinnamon today!?” in order to keep things fair.
30. How casual.
I was a pizza delivery driver. One day we had a delivery to this motel in a seedy part of town (which was way out of our range) but I said I’d take it because it was an afternoon on a Tuesday which are super slow.
I get there and it’s this young woman, maybe mid-twenties, butt naked standing in the door. I’d forgotten her soda, so I sheepishly said I’d run to the gas station and pick it up for her. When I came back the door was cracked and she told me to just come in. She was laying on the bed eating the pizza, still naked, and told me to come put it on the night stand. She paid me, and I left.
31. He was just following orders…
Pizza delivery. Dude says to honk and to not come to the door as out makes his dogs go crazy.
Honk, wait. Honk, wait. Honk, wait.
Ring doorbell. Guy screams at me and calls the store to forbid me from delivering there again.
32. At least there’s that.
33. Maybe they thought he was really, um, hot?
My husband used to deliver pizza. He had two instances.
The first was one night, he knocks on the door, the door gets thrown open and he gets doused with a fire extinguisher.
The second was another night, he knocked on the door and gives the guy his pizza. He turned around to see a naked woman sitting in the driver’s seat of his car asking him if he wanted a ride. Turns out she had been doing some sort of drug and the people in the house has to physically pull her out of the car because she didn’t want to get out.
34. Maybe it was her version of a tip?
Once a customer groped my hand while reaching for the pizza, then wouldn’t give me the money until I thanked her while looking in her eyes. I later realized she doused the money in perfume, too.
My high school homeroom teacher told me this story. Let’s call him Mike.
Mike lived with his friend Patrick when they were in college, and the two of them absolutely loved Halloween. It’s their favorite holiday. They go all out in preparing their house for it. So one Halloween, they bought a smoke machine to see what they could do with it. When they saw just how much smoke they could make with it, an idea hatched in their head.
They turned it on, got it to make as much smoke as they could possibly get out of the thing and decided to call for pizza. When the guy got there and opened the door, the house was so full of smoke that it bellowed out of the opening in a rectangular cloud. You could not see a foot in front of you. So Mike and his friend get to the doorway, and said to the pizza guy, “Maaaaaan, you gotta take a hit of this stuff!”, paid him, and asked if he wanted a drag.
The pizza guy ran back to his car, and they laughed their butts off.