As far as I’m concerned the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus are real. Why? ‘Cause if I choose to accept that all the things I believed in are a myth, i’ll also have to accept that life sucks most if the time. And well, where’s the fun in that?
The following are a list of things that upon realization…hit hard (as hard as Santa hits the ground in the gif below).
Curious of more responses? You can find the original thread at the end of the article.
I once worked at a grocery store deli. People seem to think all the potato and coleslaw salads are handmade by us minimum wage deli slicer kids. In reality most of those salads are pre-packed and we do very little besides putting it in a bowl for display to customers.
One day a woman asked for potato salad but the bowl sitting in the counter was empty. So I pulled and opened one of the prepackaged 4 pound bulk tubs we sold in a cooler next to the deli.
I scooped her order directly from the 4 pound prepackaged container and she looked mortified. She said she thought we made it in store and said she didn’t want it anymore. I was going to tell her about the rotisserie chickens but I figured she was traumatized enough for one day.
“If you got hit by a car today I could have you replaced in a week.” – My manager.
I knowing that $1000 is a lot of money to owe and not a lot of money to have.
This seriously messes with my mind. When I notice I owe money I’m like “crap, $1000 dollars of debt? screw me that’s a lot” but when I read the second part $1000 seems like nothing…month of rent and some groceries maybe.
Being promised to get laid all day, then she’s ‘too tired’ and goes to sleep when the time come.
My wife pulls this during bed time, the “I’m going to go read now.” Since she’s an avid reader and reads every night before bed, it’s normal to think we weren’t getting intimate. There isn’t anything suggestive in her voice or nighttime clothing ensemble yet somehow I’m the one who gets told off when I come in an hour later and she’s moody and says, “well…I guess you’re not getting laid now.” Of course, she’s also the one who will want to start playing at 10:30, when I’m starting to get ready to sleep. Like “WHAT? We couldn’t have done this an hour ago?”
When you find of that romance isn’t magical and that most of the time people aren’t JUST happy together. It takes work, time, effort, compassion, loyalty, and dedication to make a marriage work.
You see all these people that seem so happy together, but there are no perfect marriages. The people who make it seem effortless are either: a) putting up a front or b) trying REALLY hard because it’s worth it to the both of them.
Between social media, television, bad advice from friends and impossible standards set forth by the media…marriages are difficult to hold together these days. Most people are conditioned to believe that not only can they “do better”, but if they aren’t actively trying to “do better” they’re low expectations by dating losers.
Red Velvet isn’t its own flavor. It’s just chocolate mixed with red food coloring.
Originally, the vinegar and buttermilk that keep the cake moist and help it rise cause a reddish tint in the cocoa. This, the flavor got the name “Red Velvet.”
But, people decided that “redder the better” and started adding red food coloring.
When I was a kid, I thought it was super easy to get a house. I knew you had to buy a house but I had no idea what that cost. How much could a house possibly be? All my friends lived in decent houses as well, even the ones who didn’t always have nice stuff otherwise.
Now I’m in my 30s, married with have 2 kids, both my husband and I work decent jobs making decent money and saving as hard as we can.
But the houses in our area are selling for over a quarter million ABOVE the already inflated asking price. What would be a $250k house is now a $600k house that is selling for $850k. And it’s practically a shack.
At this rate we’ll be lucky to be able to afford our own house before the kids graduate.
Your company doesn’t like you (by company I mean the large corporation you work for). They don’t care.
You should have 0 loyalty for your company because they have 0 interest in protecting you. Any benefits and cool stuff they have for you is not out of love, it is a calculated decision to improve employee morale to improve productivity. The second that calculation says, “you should fire some staff” they will do so and not feel a moment of heartbreak about it.
This isn’t a bad thing, it just is. When your annual raise comes around if it’s not what you wanted, look around because now you are one year more experienced and another company may be looking to hire you for an sizeable promotion.
That when you’re an adult, you feel exactly the same as you did when you were 17.
You’re just not as attractive (for the most part) and things ache more.
All positive traits are correlated.
Statistically people who are either rich, intelligent, sociable, creative, good-looking, healthy or happy are more likely to be everything else on the list.
People who are unfortunate in one area of their lives are likely to be unfortunate in other areas too.
“It will get easier when he can hold his own bottle.” “It will get easier when he can move around on his own.” “It will get easier when he can communicate by something other than crying.”
In a way, all of the above statements are true, but they are also very false. My oldest is only a bit over 2-years-old, but while parenting has [mostly] gotten more fun, it hasn’t gotten easier. The challenges are just different now.
Adults really don’t know what the heck they’re doing either.
They’re just better at projecting confidence while heading into the unknown than younger people.
It always seems like people who are older are more skilled and that they have some kind of deep “core” understanding of things that allows them to make smart decisions.
But 99% of the time they just have more experience than you. The situations you see them so skillfully handle are simply situations they’ve encountered a hundred times before.
We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won’t.
Remember all that nice health insurance you had as a kid?
Vision and Dental included? Well, adult health insurance is basically a roulette wheel of coverage. My state’s medicaid program drops vision and dental when you hit their adult age cutoff.
They also refuse to cover certain medications that are seen as “for children” like adderall, and will only reevaluate your denial after you try one or two different medications for a certain period of time. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been taking the adderall, or how much it helped. It also doesn’t matter if the other medication has much more severe side effects that prevent you from taking it for the period required.
“Looks DO matter.”
For instance, attractive people find it easier to get promotions. They crack an interview with the same knowledge as an average looking person and get away with things a lot easier.
The magical job fairy doesn’t appear when you get a degree.
When you get your first job and imagine that in your 80 hours that you’ve worked over the last two weeks that your pay check will be great.
Then you get it and realize how much taxes are deducted and that you’re nowhere close to what you think you were going to get.
So you figure and you’re like “crap…well, at least I’ve still got summer vacation.”
“Acne goes away when you enter adulthood.”
*laughs profusely* I have a hamper just for face towels and have to use unscented detergent with no fabric softener, wash my pillow case and sheets every 2-3 days, hit the gym 6 days a week with a shower after, and before bed, and eat clean, just to have mild acne.
If I drink a coke and sleep at a friends or families for a few days, I get sores and scabs and just smiling makes my smile lines hurt. I went to the doctor because I was getting acne in my groin area and I started having to use mild amounts of baby powder in my boxers and if I was sweating walking home I would have to change my boxers because my hair follicles would clog.
I swear off sodas and deserts and eat candy bars as a treat maybe once every 2 weeks if I’m actually in the mood. I’ve been to multiple dermatologists and have creams, washes, pastes, lotions, and more than any adult man should have JUST to have ‘normal’ acne.