It seems like pretty much every grade school and high school in the world has its fair share of bullies. Usually, these are kids who have insecurities or feel bad enough about themselves that they have to take their misery out on others. However, sometimes their victims get the opportunity to enact revenge, either later on in childhood or when they grow up.
Whether it's an ugly duckling who gets the chance to shoot down a former tormentor or a guy who finally snaps on his bully in the cafeteria, these stories show that revenge is truly a dish best served cold. Here are some of Reddit users' most ferocious, satisfying ways they got revenge on their childhood bully. Content edited for clarity.
"There was a popular boy in middle school who was a total jerk to awkward, nerdy me. He'd call me names, talk to people within earshot of me about how ugly I was, and would try to physically hurt me during our P.E. class. We went to the same high school but I had no classes with him, so I pretty much forgot about the guy.
Well, a couple years after high school, I ran into him at a bar. I'm a lot prettier and less awkward than I once was, but he hadn't grown more than a couple inches since middle school and the face that was cute when he was 12 did not handle the testosterone surge of puberty well.
He was acting like a nervous teenager and kept saying, 'Wow, you really look different,' while we chatted a little. He would also not shut up about how he was in the Navy and how awesome he was because he was 'serving our country' and 'protecting (me) from terrorists.' He finally asked me for my number and I gave it to him. He texted me the next day asking me on a date and I replied, 'Lol, nah.' It wasn't my most shining moment of maturity, but it felt good to look down on that little prick both literally and figuratively."
"I was the four-eyed, blonde little fatso that he liked to pest and push around every time oxygen got in his head. I was slow (but also strong) and did mediocre in class. Because of him, I felt miserable almost every day of my life back then.
Rugby saved my life and my sanity. In 8th grade, we had rugby try-outs to see who was physically fit enough to play in the school tournaments, so I applied because I had nothing to lose. It turned out I was fast with my hands plus sturdy and hard to tackle. In the final test, we needed to prevent a pass or tackle the opponent.
I got to face my nemesis, the big bully. It was the right motivation. I went for the artery when I tackled him and he spent the next 20 minutes crying. I was never called a name ever again by anyone; I was what my school friends used to describe as an 'oh, you don't mess with him, period' kind of kid. That reputation has followed me along for many years. I guess I turned into the bully's bully. Oh, how the tables turn."
"Chris was about six months younger than me but two years behind me in school, he was that dumb. He didn't like when we'd joke around at track practice, as he'd often just simply not understand the joke. Did that make 16-year-old us sympathetic to his tender ego? Not really, since he was a real jerk to everyone. In general, he was a big bully.
One afternoon I was talking with a buddy during practice when Chris decided that it would be a great idea to sucker punch me. He got thrown off the track team, suspended from school, and was banned from any team sports for 6 months. He stayed clear of me from that point and I never bothered seeking him out either.
Fast forward several years and I was stopping on my way home from a meeting to get my car washed. Guess who worked at the car wash? He saw me and walked away from the car, muttering a stream of obscenities. Then he told his boss he wasn't going to clean my car because I'm a prick. I didn't really care since I was years out of school and had gone to college, graduated, got a job, and was doing very well for myself. He was working at the car wash.
I didn't say a word, eyeball him, or anything. I just sat back and watched his boss ream him out for refusing to work and fired him on the spot. I didn't react on the outside, but inside? Total justice stiffy. The best revenge against the bully in the end? Live well and be happy. He's probably still miserable."
"I was about 10 when this neighborhood wanker started torturing me. The final straw was when he took a downed powerline and whipped me in the back with it while I skated by him on rollerblades. He left welts and it hurt for days.
About a week later, I biked to his house knowing his parents were at work still, so it was just him and his sister home. He had an archery set up in his backyard so I took his bow and arrows, waited behind a tree until he got outside, and then shot that little jerk with his own stuff right in his chest. While he was doubled over, I kicked him, spit on him, and told him if he ever came near me again I'd kill him. I meant that with every fiber of my 10-year-old being. After that day, I knew what I was capable of and was never afraid of anyone again.
His parents came to my house and talked to my grandpa who knew what was going on, and he held it down for me so I didn't get in trouble for it. As an adult, I obviously handle conflicts differently, but that was my best bully revenge story."
"My 9-year-old daughter has to deal with this girl in her class that's a bully to everyone and is especially mean to my daughter. Other kids have her back most of the time and the teachers are aware of her issues and try their best, but she's sneaky.
My daughter is Type 1 diabetic and this girl likes to tease her about it. She's told her that her feet will get chopped off and other horrible things. One day she was waving a big chocolate chip cookie in her face, telling her how she can't eat stuff like that because she's a freak.
My daughter had had enough. She got up and slapped the girl across the face, causing the cookie to go flying. She yelled, 'Leave me alone!' and the whole lunchroom went silent. The girl ran to tell the teacher and the kids cheered.
She came home and told my wife and I because she felt bad about it. The girl told the teacher, crying of course, but several students also told the other side of the story. The teacher told my kid matter-of-factly, 'Don't do that anymore,' then yelled at the mean girl and made her stay in from recess.
Since then, this girl gives my daughter a wide berth. I do not condone such behavior, but dang was it hard to keep a straight face when we were telling her that it was the wrong way to resolve things."
"I was bullied as a child by this little jerk named Jason and would always get frustrated with his crap because I never did anything to him. Then when puberty hit, I had six inches and about 50 pounds on everyone else. I towered over the rest of the class and my dad got me into weight-lifting, which I LOVED. I became huge in middle school and suddenly Jason was nowhere to be found.
I found him scurrying in the hallway one day, clearly avoiding me, and I realized he was terrified of the retribution he so deserved so I gave him a savage vengeance beating. Then, later in school, I befriended this hilarious kid who was small and a total geek (I get to say it) but HE had bully problems and it turned out Jason was giving him crap since I became a giant.
I caught Jason starting trouble with my friend one day, so I picked him up from behind and threw him onto the ground. He realized I was staring over him like Muhammad Ali and ran like the dickens. I basically became my friend's personal Hulk in high school. I didn't become a bully; I became a protector. That being said, I loved kicking butt when they deserved it."
"I graduated from high school in the 1980's. I had grown up poor but when my mom remarried, she married a guy who was well off so after we moved into his house, I was a poor kid suddenly going to a school full of rich kids. One of them, in particular, was a girl who was really stuck up and such a witch. She had a very imperious attitude and oblivious parents; my mom would never let me act that way.
About six years after high school graduation, I'd dropped out of college and was living on my own in a tiny apartment and working as a waitress. Then one day, of all people to show up at the restaurant and be seated in my section, it was her. I asked a couple other waitresses to take the table but they were busy. Finally, I realized what I would do. I would take on the role of my life, as if vying for an Academy Award: I went to the table and pretended I'd never met her before in my life.
She kept insisting I must remember her, right? She kept saying her name and I nailed the performance. 'I'm so sorry, I just don't...no...I, uh...I'm trying. I believe you, yes, I went to that school but I am SO sorry, I don't remember you,' and so on.
She was flabbergasted. I kept overhearing her say to the people she was with, 'I can't believe she doesn't remember me!' That day I learned that to be forgotten is, for some, the ultimate slap in the face."
"This happened during high school after I'd moved to a new area and enrolled at a new school, hoping I could get along during my last year of high school. However, this one little punk wouldn't stop giving me crap for about three months. During that time, I tried to disarm him the way students are told to by telling teachers, but that had zero effect. I went to the teacher, counselor, vice principle, principle, and the officer on duty.
Nothing worked and I knew I was going to snap on this little jerk, so I told the principle and the officer that I was going to snap if he bullied me again. They promised that they would deal with it and that I shouldn't get physical with him. Surprise, surprise, it didn't work.
The final straw was when he came over to me during lunch and started his crap again while I was chilling with my friends. I tried to leap over the table to grab his throat, screaming how I'd had enough of his bullcrap and that I was going to disembowel him with a spoon.
The lunchroom was dead silent at that point and the principal came out and asked what was going on. I looked at him and said, 'Nothing sir, just trying to dispose of the trash.' I didn't realize it at the time but apparently, I had a 'crazed grin' as I stared daggers into my bully. I didn't get in trouble at all because I warned everyone I was going to snap on this little prick before I did. Last I heard, the guy had become an addict of some kind."
"I had a girl bully me in grade school and it continued into high school. She was an overly-artsy type and I was rather heavyset and decided to do theater. Needless to say, I was harassed at every single turn, even to the point of her having her donor father convince the teacher to not give me the lead in a show opposite her.
Fast forward to the show and the entire auditorium was PACKED, plus it was being filmed for the school website. There was a scene where we had to kiss and I just turned to the audience and let loose with a string of verbal insults about her. I'd never felt such a rush of adrenaline in my entire life! She ran off the stage in tears because I ruined her 'big night,' but I'd never felt so elated.
Years later, I lost weight and joined law enforcement, and one day I pulled her over for speeding and got to give her a ticket. Plot twist: We got to talking and went on a date, and we've been dating for three years now and always laugh about that night in high school. Now we just need a film adaptation of our story starring Adam Sandler."
"I was working as a daytime bartender at a live music nightclub where I would set up the bar, pour the occasional drink, and spot clean here and there. It was an important job but I was paid the least. Nevertheless, the job was reliable and so was I.
One day, a guy walked in covered in crappy tattoos, some on his face. That wasn't uncommon as it was a rock club, so I wasn't judging. He asked for an application and I obliged, then he handed it over when he was done. We didn't talk much and he didn't have any questions.
In hindsight, it was as if he was already sure he wasn't getting the job. Then it made sense; I saw his name on the application and stopped right there. He was my third grade/apartment complex bully. I dropped that paper in the trash so fast, I wasn't even curious what he thought might be a good reference.
As a grown-up, I realize how petty that is and I know it's possible that we could have made amends. However, I remember how vindicated I felt when that application slid into the bin, and I'm a-ok with my decision."
"I had a bully who once ratted me out for going over the fence in 4th grade. He went to the strictest teacher on the yard and told on me. I started crying because I knew I was in deep crap and he went to the person who would get me in maximum trouble. However, she was nice to me and I didn't get in that much trouble.
Fast forward to 8th grade, we were playing soccer in gym class. I was an outlier, sort of loner type casually playing so I wasn't taking direction from anyone, just back on defense with my Walkman on. Then the ball went over the fence and my bully volunteered to climb over. It suddenly clicked in my mind, 'Now's my chance!'
At that point, I was taller and stronger than him, so I ran to the fence and motion for him to throw the ball back. He threw it to me and I threw it back over. He got frustrated, ran back for the ball, and then returned to the fence and began climbing. I blocked him, grabbed him by the shirt, and held him dangling there so he couldn't climb back over. He started freaking out, 'What the heck are you doing?!' he screamed as I held him in place. The other kids took the ball and went back to playing.
'Get the teacher, look who I caught sneaking over the fence!' I yelled. The teacher started walking our way as he struggled in my grasp. He messed up and he knew it. Then one of the jock kids booted the ball, narrowly missing me and smashing the rat violently in the face, causing him to start bawling his eyes out. It was glorious; revenge achieved."
"After I graduated high school, I dyed my hair and grew into my body more appropriately. A lot of the fat I had went to better places and I look pretty good if I do say so myself. The guy who picked on me and my friend for being fat (especially her because it really bothered her) sent me a message on Facebook the other day that said, 'I remember your name from high school, but I can't believe I could forget such a beautiful face.'
A lot of people don't recognize me anymore and he was one of them. I almost didn't recognize him either, because he had put on a LOT of weight. I replied back, 'You probably didn't see me in high school because your head was shoved too far up your butt.' He did not like that reply."
"Back in school, I was pretty fat and was a first-generation American (parents are from Mexico), so I had no one to give me fashion advice. Imagine showing up to middle school with purple matching sweats and sweater with a freaking pink Tweety Bird on it. I lived in a small cul de sac with other low-income Mexicans, and there were these three girls a little older than I that made my life miserable for 16 years, going so far as to assault me on my way home just so they could 'prove I was gay.'
On my last day of school, one girl cut in front of me in the lunch line, saying something like, 'Oh, you can afford to skip lunch.' Fuming mad, I grabbed her ponytail, pulled her hard down to the floor, and kicked her butt while the teachers and her friends looked on.
The other two girls ended up getting super fat and having kids with different fathers. I grew up, bleached my hair, and lost some weight, and those girls have messaged me to apologize and then asked me if I know anyone with Xanax because I'm a 'punk chick.'
The point is, these girls now have crappy lives living at home, fat, insecure, and ugly because of the way they acted. Life is my karma. I've also had every guy from high school who ever rejected me or made fun of me ask me out or flirt with me; I've turned down every single one of them, even my high school crush. Eff all y'all!"
"My senior year of high school, there was this kid named Logan who was a total pile of crap. He cheated on all of his girlfriends and lied through his teeth. He was someone who you could never say anything against because he covered himself so well, but you always saw him doing something he shouldn't be doing.
One day, the crap-waffle decided to try and take serious advantage of my sister in a not-so-peaceful way. Well, the first thing she did was come to find her older brother who had an anger problem and the equivalent of an itchy trigger finger, but on my fists. She came up to me, bawling her eyes out, saying he tried to assault her. I spent nearly two hours looking for the greasy prick rather than going to class.
When I found him, I rolled up on him so fast, it was like a set of cartoon window blinds. 'What did you think you were doing?! Trying to get with my sister against her will, you piece of crap!'
'I didn't do anything!' he said. Then I shoved him so hard he left his feet. When he recovered, I was on him like white on rice. I chased him down the hall, dove onto him, and started beating him senseless. I had zero martial arts training, but you wouldn't know it from that beatdown. I got some ground and pound points that would make Chuck Liddell jealous.
Not only did I break his nose and bust his lip, but my final blow happened after he was already out cold. I cocked back with my elbow and threw it as hard as I could, following through all the way. If Tiger Woods threw an elbow like he hit a golf ball, that would be it. However, I heard a crack and I got scared as heck. I stopped seeing red for a second since I realized I may have killed the guy.
I grabbed his limp body, propped him up against the wall to look like he fell asleep sitting down on the floor, and walked away. By some stroke of luck, the cameras happened to be down that day so I was never caught. No one heard from him again, mostly because he spent most of the rest of senior year in the hospital as he needed reconstructive surgery for his broken cheekbone, nose, and, chipped teeth. Last I heard, he was addicted to the pills he was on for pain and now he's a smack addict. I'm glad I didn't kill him, but I think I might've done worse."
"After I finished high school, I got a friend request from a girl who had bullied me relentlessly for years. Facebook was new at the time and I added anyone I knew, plus I was curious to see how her life was turning out. However, it seemed all she wanted to do was message me and say a bunch of awful things.
I screenshotted those messages and posted them to her wall, causing a bunch of her friends to message me and ask if I was ok. I got my revenge by exposing her and didn't have to stoop to her level, double win!"