The following story is an edit/adaptation of a TIFU post. Original source can be found here.
So I made a horrible mistake this evening, but it started out innocently enough. I might actually be single now…
So my girlfriend said I was “invited to dinner” with her and her parents. I was incredibly nervous about being invited. But I knew it had to be done.
At first, all was going well. The dinner table was a bit quiet, but that’s maybe to be expected. The idea suddenly hit me that I should make some sort of joke, to make a good impression and become known as “that funny boyfriend.”
I scanned the room looking for some sort of humor inspiration. I saw that baked potatoes were served, and I got the idea that it would be funny if I just pretended I didn’t know what potatoes were. That would surely be hilarious, right?
Well let me tell you: it backfired in my face. Really badly.
The baked potato was served onto my plate, and I put on a bewildered and perplexed face. I kept it subtle though, not too obvious. My girlfriend’s parents noticed, but they didn’t say anything. So I took it one step further.
I pointed to the potatoes and asked, “What is this, it looks pretty good.”
They stared at me and the mother said, “It’s a baked potato.”
And I said,”Oh, interesting, a baked… what is it again?”
And she was like, “A potato.”
And I was like, “A ‘potato’ huh? Interesting. Never heard of a potato before, looks pretty good.”
Then I saw the look on their face begin to change. They were thinking: Wait a minute, he’s not kidding? He REALLY doesn’t know what a potato is?
At this point, nobody was laughing, not even me. I decided it was too late to pull back now. The joke was a failure, and it would be way too embarrassing to admit it was just a terrible joke now. So I did the only thing I could do…
I committed to the lie.
The parents asked me, VERY sceptically, did I really not know what a potato was? I went with it and told them that, yes, not only have I never eaten potato, I’ve never even heard of them before.
This went on for a bit and my girlfriend started to get embarrassed by my (and I quote) “stupid antics”, and then the more insistent I was about not knowing what a potato was, the more everybody started insisting that I was lying and that I DID know what a potato was.
Well let me tell you that I had to commit 100% at this point.
When I would not admit to knowing what a potato was, the father in particular began to get annoyed. At one point he said something like “Enough is enough. You’re f***ing with us. Admit it.”
And I said “Sir, before today I have never heard of a potato. I still don’t know what a potato is, other than that it is some kind of food. I don’t know what to tell you.”
He got very annoyed. I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said, “Hmmm, taste’s very strange!”
That is when the father started yelling at me, and the mother kept saying “Stop, what are you doing?” and my girlfriend went to the other room.
Finally the father said I should “Get the **** out of his house,” and my brilliant reply was, “That’s a pretty harsh way to treat somebody just because they’ve never hear of potatoes.”
The father didn’t take too kindly to that.
Now I’ve had to fully commit to this lie, even outside their home. I’ve been texting my girlfriend. She asked me what my problem was. I said, “I just never came across potatoes before.”
I wish I never started this. I’m in a nightmare now, and it’s all because of potatoes. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be single soon.
If there’s anything to be taken from this, it’s that accepting a little bit of embarrassment early on can save you from a lot of embarrassment down the road if you decide to lie about it.