I once watched my brother get off a speeding ticket from a female cop with nothing other than charm. Since that day, I knew life wasn’t real…it’s all an illusion. Or i’m simply a conspiracy theorist.
In any case, the following stories prove my point…kinda.
Find the original thread source at the end of the article.
“I’m a former Highway Patrol Officer. More than anything, I’ve had people say they are in a hurry to get to the bathroom. On more than one occasion, they’ve even gone as far as to piss themselves in hopes to avoid getting a ticket.”
“I once got caught speeding and told the cop how embarrassing it was but I REALLY had to go #2 (which was true).
He took my information and said with a little smile, ‘you can go, you’ll receive the ticket by mail’.It had been 6 months and I still got nothing, so wondered if he gracefully changed his mind?
I went to the police station and they told me to call the city. I called the city, and they told me that there is nothing on my record, but to still make sure with the Provincial cops since it was on the highway/bridge and that they had up to a year to send me that ticket.
So, I waited and I received a post office notice yesterday. I went to get the letter just 10 minutes ago. TA-DAA! It’s the ticket! I wonder if it’s because I called them…”
“I pulled someone over, over an unregistered vehicle.
They tried to offer me money. Behind me was a very large group of students watching on. All of them had access to my microphone to hear what was going on. I tried to explain this to the driver. He simply wouldn’t listen or didn’t understand. Not that it would have made a difference but I would have preferred to avoid having to arrest him for a stupid mistake.
He ended up getting arrested for a range of charges.
The students were Police Academy students from Australia. We had lots that fortnight and they could hear the radio microphone on my chest to see how I dealt with certain situations. This was done at a roadside Random Breath Test stop hence why they were all standing around in the background.”
“A coworker of mine was speeding one day on a south bound highway. He told the cop, ‘hey man, I know you got to give me a ticket, but please write out for north bound, or else my wife will think I’m cheating on her.’ The cop laughed and told him to slow down and let him off.
He was not married, nor was he even seeing anybody.”
“As a patrol officer, you pull cars over multiple times a day. After almost 10 years in law enforcement, I’ve pulled over many and I’ve heard all the excuses.
Best: That would have to be the guy I pulled over for speeding. I made my approach, the guy rolls down the window so I said my speech. He looks me right in the eye and softly says, ‘I was speeding. I’m sorry. But, you see, I’m in the military. Just an hour ago I got back from my tour in Iraq.
My girlfriend here just picked me up from the airport and to be honest, I was rushing home to my 2 minute welcome home bang session.’
Looking in the back seat I saw military style duffel bags, miscellaneous military uniforms, a folded up welcome home banner and his girlfriend in the passenger seat gave me this ‘yea…that’s the truth’ look.
‘Have fun.’ I said and handed him back his license.
Worst: Oh man. There’s so many. ‘I have to take a crap’ is used more often than one might think. The ones I always enjoy are ‘ well I know officer so and so very well. He’ll get me out of this.’ That’s GUARANTEED to get you a ticket. Following closely is the, ‘do you not have anything better to do than harass the public.’ Nope not today, not this exact moment. You’re the lucky winner. Press hard.”
“I got dispatched to an accident, and find a Corolla flipped onto it’s roof. The driver was sitting on the curb with very minor injuries and no one else was hurt in the collision. I ended up arresting the driver for driving under the influence. She was 19 and this was her 3rd DUI.
Her response, ‘Why are we wasting each other’s time? Just let me go, it’s not like I killed anyone.’
Unfortunately, with the way the courts work in L.A. County she was probably going to get off without any consequences.”
“Someone I knew was trying to get out of drinking and driving, she went up to the cop and was like, ‘listen, we’re all white here…’ needless to say she went to jail.”
“Flirting is always bad, but is especially bad when the driver is really old, really young, or has their family in the car with them. I don’t consider myself to be super attractive, but people will do anything to get out of a ticket.
Threatening the officer is also pretty bad. That’s happened before. Sometimes it is threatening to kill my family if I write them a ticket, but sometimes people get a little more creative.
Some (racist) people assume that I am an illegal immigrant and threaten to report me if I write them a ticket. That one always makes me laugh.
Bribing is always interesting. Some of the things people come up with are actually kind of funny.”
“As a driver, I had a cop pull me over. I was 17 roughly, driving my mom’s new car at almost 30 over in a residential area. The cop walked up and asked if it was a new car. Yup. Bet you can’t even hear the engine when it gets going. Yup. Steering is probably pretty good, right? Yup. This went on for several more questions.
Then just walks back to his car and drives off. His point was well established, but it was weird as heck to me at the time. I literally never offered one excuse, he did, and I just sat there answering ‘yup.'”
“I’m not a cop, but I’ve seen many of my ex’s ways on avoiding tickets and she has avoided many tickets. Her best escape was by faking being mute and fortunately, she knows sign language. Most cops would feel bad ticketing her so they just let her go, while I feel bad for those cops.”
“One lady yelled and cursed at me while saying I was wasting my time dealing with her when I should be getting the REAL bad and dangerous drivers out there. She was stopped for going 17 miles per hour over in an active school zone.
The normal speed limit was 45 mph. In an active school zone it’s 25 mph. She was going 42 mph. This particular school zone is only active for 2 hours at a time, twice a day. She was weaving through the three lanes of 25 mph traffic, it was kinda hard to explain that she didn’t know.”
“I’m only a cadet, but I do go on ride alongs. Someone tried to get out of a ticket by using religion. They had said that they were a great Christian and didn’t deserve a ticket. They also called us evil. Needlessly to say he got the ticket.”
“My dad once pulled over a woman who claimed she had diarrhea and that’s why she was driving so fast.
He’s an understanding guy so naturally he let her drive home, but followed her and wrote the ticket there.”
“I’m not a cop, but a friend of mine was once stopped for a broken headlight.
In my country there’s a fine for that. He didn’t know what to do so he got out of his car (no paranoia around police here) and told the officer that the light, ‘does that sometimes’ and kicked it.
It actually worked, the light turned back on and he was on his merry way.”
“I love the video of the woman talking to an officer that pulled her over for failure to stop.
‘I thought you didn’t give pretty girls tickets?’
‘I thought you didn’t give pretty girls tickets?’
‘You didn’t think we gave pretty girls tickets? You’re absolutely right. We don’t. Sign here.'”
“My dad was pulled over going way, WAY too fast on the interstate late at night. He is an anesthesiologist, and got called in to work because someone had been shot.
It turned out that the person who had been shot was a cop, and so not only did my dad not receive a ticket, he got a police escort to the hospital and he has refused to tell me exactly how fast they went. Hearing that story as a kid made me think my very by-the-book awkward dad was super cool.”
“I’m not a cop, but someone I know got pulled over doing about 80 in a 50 zone.
When the officer approached his window and asked, ‘why are you driving so fast?’ This person’s response was, ‘Sorry officer, I was trying to get my Flux capacitor up to speed.’
The cop didn’t find it very funny.”
“One guy gave me a ‘get out of jail’ monopoly card. I let him off with a warning. What else could I do? He had the card!”
Points are edited for clarity.