Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but it can be oh so satisfying to see it dished up. Whether it’s on that person you love to hate or someone who’s just acting like a jerk, sometimes a little payback is just what the doctor ordered. People on AskReddit share the most ultimate petty revenge they’ve seen or been a part of.
Comments have been edited for clarity. The source can be found the end of the article.
Crossing at a busy downtown intersection, a very impatient driver waiting to make a turn honked at a lady pushing a stroller (she had the right of way). I slowed down, but the guy next to me straight up stopped in front of the car, then bent down to re-tie his shoelaces.
I used to work at a pizzeria. There was this one customer that everyone hated. She was always rude, complained about everything (every single order she ever received she found something to complain about). And she wasnt a normal customer, no, she would order essentially groceries from us by ordering disassembled sandwiches; for example shed order a chicken sandwich but with all of the ingredients separate and in particular amounts, with cutlery, butter, a side of grated cheese, 3 plates, oil and vinegar on the side, medium rare toasted bread (whatever that means), extra packets of ranch, you get the idea.
Because it was all technically part of a sandwich she didnt expect to be charged for any of the extras. She also refused to answer the door when delivery drivers got there and instead would leave the money in an envelope (exact change, no tip) under the doormat and wanted the driver to leave the food on her doorstep. She also had weird specifications about where the driver could park (never in her driveway, only on the street, even when it was raining or shed complain).
Also, she didnt want them to announce their arrival in any way (no knocking, no ringing the bell, no beeping their car horns, they needed to be silent or shed complain). A nightmare, this woman. And every time she complained, shed try to weasel something free out of us for next time.
Anyway, one day she says she needs the driver to make change and she wants him to just leave the change in the envelope and not take a tip because he gets paid already.” So I tell my driver this and he says ohhh I get paid, do I? No problem, Ill take care of it.
He goes on the delivery and comes back pleased as punch, doesnt say a word about how he took care of it. I get distracted, keep working, then 10 minutes later I get a phone call. Its the crazy lady and shes FURIOUS because apparently my driver left her the correct change of $5.85, in the envelope like she asked…..IN PENNIES.
Genius. I had to put her on hold so I could laugh. I get back on the phone with her and I said Maam, I think youll find that pennies are legal tender. Theres nothing I can do. After explaining that I am, indeed, the manager and the highest authority present, she got fed up and hung up on me. That driver is still a king to me.
My dad had an old truck parked on the back of our property that someone kept stealing small parts from (cap, rotor, points, etc). We wired it to an electric fence power supply. One evening we heard a bunch of yelling and swearing and went back there to discover that the guy had left us some free tools.
This happened when I was in my late twenties. My mom and I were in the car. My dad called and they started bickering with each other. My mom got irritated, and hung up on him. He called her right back, and when she answered he hung up on HER! Didnt even say a word just waited for her to pick up and then hung up. It was so petty and hilarious to see my parents acting like children. I couldnt stop laughing. Theyve been married over 35 years. I still get tickled when I think about that.
I saw an ad for a work from home type job. It didn’t sound scammy and sounded sort of legit. So I asked for more info from the website. They asked me to enter my email into an entry field.
It was crap, and was sending me spam several times a day. For whatever reason, blocking it didn’t work.
I got annoyed one day and answered back, “stop spamming me”. The guy actually answered. He actually monitors that address. He told me to unsubscribe. Which did nothing. After about another week of it, I came up with an idea.
I took his email address he answered from and added it to his own list. Then signed it up for any other spam I could find. A few days later it stopped spamming me.
My little brother and his girlfriend came to stay at my house for the weekend, and the girlfriend was super self centered and obnoxious. When they left, she forgot her clothes and toiletries because she left them sprawled all over my bathroom.
About a week later, she and my brother moved into an apartment together. After he paid for the moving truck, deposit and utilities, she cheated on him with her ex and kicked him out of the apartment. This left him broke, homeless, and heart broken.
In the days after the breakup, she kept calling and emailing him several times per day, demanding that he ask me to ship her clothes and toiletries back to her (“I mean, it’s really important. It’s my NORTHFACE.”) My brother called and pleaded with me to ship them to her so she would stop having a reason to contact him.
Being the loving sister that I am, I gathered up the Really Important Northface sweatshirt, shorts, underwear, shampoo, conditioner, soap and razor. I folded everything nicely.
I then wrote a nice note apologizing for taking so long to mail them to her, and let her know that I hope all is well. The note was written in permanent marker, and the paper happened to be resting on the Really Important Northface when I wrote it. Unfortunately, the ink bled straight through the paper and onto the shirt. Also unfortunately, the shampoo, soap and conditioner caps were not tightly secured on their bottles, and the contents leaked out all over the clothes, further spreading the ink. The most unfortunate result, though, was that her razor didn’t have any sort of protective cap or container and left little slashes all over the front of the Really Important Northface.
She received the package, and my brother never heard from her again.
Every year I go away for 2 to 3 weeks to work in a different location. One summer when I rotated through, my usual supervisor took some time off. For those 3 weeks, a person outside our group was there to supervise. I was working my butt off, doing my work and what should have been the supervisor’s work. We were set up in a temporary office, with no connections to the outside world. We had plenty of work to keep us quite busy though. The supervisor’s day consisted of playing solitaire all day on the computer and then yelling for an hour at the end of every day that work wasn’t getting done fast enough.
Two and a half weeks in and I had enough. I deleted the shortcut for solitaire off of her desktop. Pandemonium breaks out, and she lost her freaking mind. I had to swear that I did not delete any programs from her computer, which was completely accurate. I watched her over the next few days I was there do any and everything to get a connection so she could download solitaire. She even tried to get AOL (America Online) working on the machine so she could dial up and get it.
I mailed my ex-best friend an envelope double stuffed with glitter and a note saying “I know what you did.” I wasn’t referring to anything in particular, but she lies about practically everything so it was enough to mess with her for a while.
Sharing a holiday home with some friends and their 10 year old son started to be a pain. He wasn’t helping around the house and cried if he didnt get his way. His parents decided to just let him sit and watch YouTube on his iPad instead of disciplining him. So I logged into the internet router and would use admin privileges to suspend his device from accessing the internet. As soon as he got up to ask his dad for help I would reactivate the device so it seemed as if nothing was wrong. I did this every day for two weeks.
I started in a new job 2 years ago and hated a guy that kept joking about me, so I got his phone number and announced his PS4 for sale for like $50.
Same day during lunch he was already nuts because of the calls.
I’d been delivering pizzas about a week for my best friend’s shop. They’d warned me about a few customers, but one in particular was always rude to the drivers and never tipped. Lucky for me, I got to deliver his order of a single calzone, maybe $6 or $7 total, and he tried to pay with a $50 bill.
All the menus and the website prominently said nothing over a $20 bill for deliveries, and he’d been their customer long enough to know that.
When I told him this while explaining how I didn’t have enough change, he got extremely rude and loud about how it’s not his fault and that drivers should always carry enough money on them.
So I did what any person in that situation should do, and told him not to worry about it, and I’d pay for the order. For a few seconds he thought he’d won a free calzone by being a jerk- until I pulled it out and started eating it as I walked back to my car.
Of course, he cursed me the whole time I was walking, but it sure was the best tasting calzone ever.
During my Freshman year of high school I was in a biology class that was made up of mainly juniors. This one guy, who sat next to me, would always be a jerk to me during class. I always did well on the tests so he would always look over and copy the answers from my scantron. I’m pretty sure he didn’t realize that I knew he was cheating off of me. Well one day I got fed up with this guy messing with me and cheating off of me.
So the next test comes around and sure enough he starts copying my answers. I finish the test and so does he. He gets up and turns his test in and comes back to his seat. I looked him in the eyes and proceeded to erase my entire scantron. I then retook the test, this time marking the correct answers. The look of panic in his eyes was so satisfying. He ended up making a 2% on that test and never cheated off me again.
In grade school, I kept a bag of chips in the same pocket everyday of my backpack. This kid I knew would punch that pocket any chance he could for 5 days in a row. One day I replaced the chips with a bag of sewing pins. He never did it again.
Sweet sweet justice.
You young’uns here might not believe it, but back in the early 90s, supermarket cashiers had to type every price in by hand.
I was at a Vons in San Diego, walking toward the only open check stand with a single bottle of soda in my hand. Suddenly this hoity toity lady with a cart stacked to the top flew out of one of the aisles like a freight train and cut me off. “I’m in a hurry,” she said, then looked away like she was annoyed that I’d been born.
I looked at the cashier. He rolled his eyes and got to work. Five minutes later she’s walking out the door and it’s my turn.
“You’re good,” says the cashier. “I put your soda on her tag.”
Wow, that felt good.
A horrible former coworker always claimed she worked way more hours than she actually did, and when she was at work she just browsed Facebook all day. She was not computer savvy at all, so I removed Internet Explorer from her desktop and installed an identical icon that, when clicked, would instantly restart the computer. It was so satisfying when she would forget and click it, losing anything that she was working on. She would always grumble and complain about the virus on her computer. I started a new job about three weeks later, and when I left it was still giving her problems.
I used to work shifts many years ago, including regular night shifts. My boss was an unpleasant person to say the least.
He would leave his keys on top of his locker. One night I took a small file to work and filed down one or two teeth of his front door key. The next day he was telling everyone of how he got home and his door lock was broken and he had to get a locksmith out which cost a fortune and he didn’t get much sleep.
Happened again a couple of months later.
Then his car key got some treatment. I stopped after that as I heard him mention it was getting suspicious that all these locks stopped working.
But, unknown to me, other colleagues also disliked him. One night his locker disappeared entirely. Rumor has it that it’s part of the foundations of an office block in London now.
This was my best revenge. I went through an awful divorce. My ex-wife cheated on me, told lies about me and all throughout the divorce I took the high road and was there for my kids while she disappeared off the face of the earth. Her birthday was only a couple of weeks after the divorce was final. As the kids were young I was a good guy and purchased several presents from the kids to her. Among the gifts I bought a necklace with a big red A at the end. Her first name is Ann. I had the kids give that to her and she wore her scarlet letter all around town. Most people in our town knew what she had done and some even were aware of the necklace. Yup, I made my adulterous ex-wife wear the scarlet letter.
This was a couple years back when I was in college. My friend, we’ll call her Susie, her boyfriend Brad (his real name because screw you Brad), and I were both going into our second years . Susie finds out that she has herpes and only guy she has ever been with is Brad. Naturally, she is devastated to find out he’s been cheating. We find out that she is not the only one he infected – there at least 5 other women.
What’s more we discover Brad has known that he is positive and still going around hooking up with people and saying that he is healthy. Basically his attitude is that someone gave it to him, so why would it be wrong for him to spread it too.
Susie is just devastated and can’t get out of her funk and what she now has to deal with health wise.
Now there is an urban legend where as revenge a woman hid shrimp in her cheating boyfriends curtain rods when she was forced to move out of their apartment. This story has been featured on many shows about urban legends, and it just so happened to come on late one night when me and Susie were watching tv.
Problem was Brad had 5 roommates, so no way that was going to work. But wait Brad has a car and Brad is too broke to afford a new car anytime soon.
Suzie knows the door code to unlock the vehicle and I just so happen to know how to remove certain vehicle panels to access holes in other panels that it would be impossible to get shrimp out of. Plus he worked the early shift on Wednesday, and, lucky us it’s Tuesday night.
So off we go to the store to buy the clearance section of meat and seafood out. We’re talking ground beef, shrimp, imitation crab meat, various kinds of fish and deviled eggs. Fortunately for us Brad lives in an apartment with no security cameras and other tenants who don’t care about 2 women working on a vehicle at 1 AM.
Sure enough the door key code still works. We pop out these little covers on the doors panels that access the interior of the door. In goes the tiny little shrimps. Then we remove the plastic panels from the wheel wells and in goes some ground beef and deviled eggs. Next was his lift gate. Anyway you get the idea.
We put his car back together and off we go. Over the next few days the smell just got worse and worse. The apartment complex manager asked him to move the car off grounds because of the smell. Our town also has some mean feral cats that roam around and they just loved hanging around his car. So not only did it stink, but he risked being attacked by some really vicious feral cats. He would have to always have the windows cracked open at least a little.
Best part is Brad and I have the same major. So over the next three years I saw him a lot. He became notorious for his horrible smelling car. He couldn’t afford to replace it, no one would buy it, no matter how many times he had it cleaned the smell remained, and no one could figure out where the odor was coming from. Even if they had figured it out most of the panels would need to be completely replaced because the only access is tiny holes.
To this day people still ask him about his car on Facebook. Like, if he says he will pick people up they ask him if he has a new car. Nope. Still the stink mobile. He currently works at Starbucks, so that thing isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Kind of like his herpes.
I like to think of this as my ultimate Sherlock Holmes level petty revenge/prank. I will never top the awesomeness of this one, it was my masterpiece.