We love our significant other no matter what, but sometimes they say things that truly make you wonder what goes on in their heads. I’m talking about that moment where you finally realize you are with somebody that does not have all the screws tied tight enough. Here is when this AskReddit community finally discovered their significant other was an idiot.
Comments have been edited for clarity. The source can be found the end of the article.
When she told me, quite seriously, that wind is made by trees.
You know, because they sway around which pushes the air around and thus makes wind.
She was not kidding.
I bought him a new watch and it was water resistant.
I told him I wanted to see him wearing it at the pool when we go do laps. He did two laps, got out, took off his watch and came back to the pool.
I asked him why he took it off. I thought maybe it was uncomfortable.
He told me it was water resistant up to 100 meters so he took it off after two 50 meter laps.
I love my wife, and am so glad I get to tell this story.
We were talking about eating better, and the food pyramid, and how thats what they use to teach us in school. We arrive at things we like to eat, and where it falls in the food groups, and the conversation goes like this:
Her: “I love eggs, I’m glad that the veggies section was always so big.”
Me: “Wait… what? Veggies? What?”
Her: “Actually… what are eggs anyway? They’re… vegetables right? Yeah they are vegetables.”
This woman has a Masters Degree.
My husband told me that he never slept in hotel sheets because they “never washed them.” So instead, he would wrap himself up in the comforter and sleep in that. The big fluffy comforter…
My wife spent two hours installing a wireless printer because she didn’t plug it in. “But it’s wireless!”
She also cashed a check and when they asked if she wanted big or small bills she said regular size.
Both stories are absolutely true, and I’m so happy I married a living dad joke. (She’s definitely no idiot though).
My wife believed people were able to breath with their ears underwater, but you had to train very hard and that’s why almost no one did it. That’s why there’s people who can last very long underwater.
Swear she is a completely functioning human being.
Once my girlfriend went to refuel. She said the gas pump “was one of those old pumps from the ’60s” and wouldn’t fit into the tank hole. So she took a pen to force the tank open and proceeded to carefully pump gas from the tip of the pump into the tank.
Obviously after doing that the car couldn’t start and was messed up, as she had been putting a full load of diesel into a gasoline vehicle.
When she asked if it was still called an “eclipse” when the sun passes between Earth and the Moon.
When she tried to convince me of her strongly held belief that the “Blair Witch Project” was real.
She wouldn’t budge even after I showed her the actors names in the credits and the actors taking part in an interview to promote the movie.
My boyfriend insisted that cooking certain things in the microwave was a hassle since you had to “stop them early” because the microwave only cooked in 30-second increments. I’m not sure what he thought all the numbers were for, but his life changed that day.
I was watching NASCAR with my wife and stepfather, she sat there mesmerized and said “imagine if we had this but with people..” and followed that quietly with “oh my freaking God, track….”
When she insisted that Kim Jong Un was the leader of North Carolina.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALASKA ISN’T NEXT TO HAWAII” Followed by, “ALASKA is connected to Canada??”
He told me there was a giant tsunami rolling in. We live in Arizona.
Very early into our relationship she said something to the effect of, “I miss living in the mountains. When I lived in North Carolina, we had this beautiful mountain range… I think they called it the Rocky Mountains? Anyway… I wish we could go back sometime.”
We live in the Appalachian Mountains… Just a little north of where she grew up… It’s quite literally the same mountain range she saw as a kid…
There was a trick going around that said something like, “there are two brothers. One is eight. One is half his age. When the oldest brother turns 50, how old is the younger brother?”
I had to explain to my husband a couple of times that the younger brother is not 25, but 46.
She told me to take the wooden spoon out of the pot of pasta because it would melt it.
I told a joke and my girlfriend did the playful hit thing. When I asked why she hit me she replied with she was upset I was making fun of her. I was not. She just didn’t get the joke. I then inquired as to how often I said things and she didn’t get, but laughed because everyone else did. She said “About 50% of the time.”
When she thought giraffes laid eggs.
From there, I would ask about every animal – Egg or No Egg. LITERALLY GOT EVERY ANIMAL WRONG.