Let's be honest, school isn't for everyone. Some people really struggle when they have to apply themselves to learning new things. Of course, there are always the people that can't keep up. Those are usually the ones that decide they need to talk the most.
We found these hilarious accounts of people saying completely insane, ridiculous and silly things in school. Check them out, you won't believe how cringe-worthy they are and trust us, you'll feel a whole lot better about yourself and your intelligence after you read these.
No Sense Of Direction
“I lived a solid 20-25 min away from my high school. It wasn’t a complicated route, but you had to weave your way across town or take the highway.
A friend who lived in my neighborhood was complaining about having to head to the mall after school and how long it was going to take her. She was complaining that her whole evening was going to be spent driving. This was confusing to me, because the mall was about five miles away, but was straight down one street. My high school and mall were literally on the same street.
She admitted she didn’t know how to drive to the mall from our high school (about a 10 min drive). She only knew how to get to the mall from her house. So she was going to drive home (25 min), then back to the mall (another 25ish minutes).
So I drew her a map. It was just a straight line with the instructions ‘don’t turn!'”
“I had a girl in my high school physics class ask, verbatim, ‘but if there’s gravity then how do rainbows?’ Yep, that was literally her question. Nobody knew how to even begin responding to that one.
And yes, she is a native English speaker in case you’re wondering.”
A Random Guy Isn’t The Assignment
“In one of my intro to American law classes, we had to prepare a presentation about an assigned Supreme Court Justice. Mine was Justice Stephen Breyer.
When the teacher handed out our slips of paper, every justice was listed in the format ‘Justice (last name).’ Obviously, the whole class was expected to know that ‘Justice’ was simply a title these people use. Unfortunately, one guy in the class didn’t know that.
Homeboy was assigned Justice Kennedy. He got up in front of the class, passed around photos of some guy, and said ‘This is Justice Kennedy,’ and then proceeded to give a presentation on some guy whose name was literally ‘Justice Kennedy.’ I have no idea how he found this guy, but he had some really personal information about some random guy who was not related to a career as an attorney or judge in any way.
The kid wasn’t even flustered when the teacher said, ‘Who the heck is this guy?’ He just sat down.
It’s been years and I still think about him sometimes.”
They Are Learning African Next
“We were learning Chinese in school and my friend said that China was just a county that was part of the country Asia.
I asked her what language people in Asia spoke, she told me they spoke Asian. I asked her then why we were learning Chinese she said, ‘oh Chinese is like Latin, it’s pretty much a dead language.’ I was baffled.
I brought it up to her recently and she got so defensive saying she was right and that we were just messing with her.”
Add, Multiply, They’re Basically The Same Thing, Right?
“I work in my college’s remedial math help center and hear some crazy things. One stands out in my mind in particular:
A girl raises her hand and one of the TAs goes over to help her.
TA: ‘What can I help you with?’
Girl: ‘I did this problem, but the answer in the back of the book is different than my answer.’
TA: ‘Okay, let’s take a look…’
The TA looks over the math problem briefly.
TA: ‘Oh, you’re adding here, you’re supposed to be multiplying.’
The girl gives TA the most dead serious look I’ve ever seen in my life and says, ‘What’s the difference?’
Do note, this is a college she’s learning this at. Either her high school graduated her or she somehow managed to guess her way through the GED. And she doesn’t even know what multiplication is or why she can’t just add to get the correct answer.”
She Was Really Out Of Her League
“This girl in my history class has been the subject of many stories…
She didn’t know what coal is. We were learning about the industrial revolution.
She thought William Shakespeare was a band.
She didn’t believe that the pyramids were THAT old because only 2000 years had passed.
She didn’t know how an analog clock worked. She found out after she asked the teacher what time it was even though there is a clock on the wall. The teacher pointed at the clock and said that she could see for herself and she responded that this type of clock was useless in modern society.
After having been in a nutrition class for 2 months, she asked why nutrition even mattered. She even plays sports at a fairly high level.”
50 Cards In A Deck, 52 States In A Country
“I had a classmate in 7th grade argue that there were 51 states. Another girl settled the score by declaring there were 52. ‘The 50 and Alaska and Hawaii.’
Same class, but a different girl said Wyoming was 1 of the 13 colonies. The teacher had a good time explaining that the hard part of the journey for the Mayflower was across the Midwest grasslands.”
Basic Science In An Advanced Class
“My senior year for science I took Honors Anatomy and Physiology. Since it was an Honors class and everyone wanted to take it, they required you have at least a high B in your previous science class AND have a sign-off from your previous science teacher.
There was this girl who I have no idea how she got in. She was always asking stupid questions and I knew she didn’t pass her previous science class because my friend was tutoring her. During the reproductive unit we were learning how a fetus develops and out of the blue, the girl asks, ‘do cats and dogs have babies too? How are puppies and kittens brought into this world?’
The entire class just looked at her in disbelief.”
Nothing Was In Color Before TV Was
“When a high school classmate said that old movies were in black and white because color was not invented.
Asked for clarification because I was not sure if she meant because color TV had not been invented, nope, literally that color was not invented.”
The Tragic Tale Of Eric The Idiot
“I lived with a kid named Eric (not real name) my freshman year of college. Rather than waste adjectives on how strange he was, here goes:
Eric wore, with near-exclusivity, fuzzy Kamik hiking boots, short shorts, and an orange sleeveless mesh top.
On move-in day, Eric helped move two boxes into our dorm before leaving his parents to set up the rest of his stuff. The reason? He had to get to the gym as soon as possible. Why this was the case was not explained. He came back twenty minutes later with no visible indication he had exercised.
Eric’s parents would drive back to the dorm every two weeks to do his laundry. They lived three hours away by car. To make matters worse, Eric had no grasp of personal hygiene. He would utterly reek after sequential workouts and not showering for days, which meant his clothes and sheets did too. His dirty laundry would sit in plastic containers, waiting for mom and dad to do it for him. The smell would accumulate and ferment, creating some real Chemical Ali-level biotoxic man-stench. Two separate girls I tried to bring home walked in, felt their eyes start to water and left. My Dad came for parents weekend and splashed $200 on an air purifier in hopes of getting me to survive the semester.
Our RA decorated our dorm with fun little posters we could write on to get to know one another. One said, ‘What’s your favorite memory from high school?’ In sharpie marker, Eric wrote three very graphic paragraphs about taking his girlfriend’s innocence in a house near a waterfall and signed his name.
Said girlfriend would visit once or twice a month. Eric would inform me that he needed our room for the entire weekend to ‘let out the energy.’ He wasn’t kidding. I came home after a weekend of being a nomad on friends’ couches to find a giant, CSI-sized bloodstain on his bed.
One weekend, Eric’s girlfriend canceled and couldn’t make it up, causing him to get ‘depressed’ and drink all the brews in my fridge. I asked if he could buy me some to replace it, to which he said: ‘I can’t, I’m underage.’ When I asked for a few bucks to go and buy it myself, he replied: ‘that’s not how capitalism works.’ Always wondered what he meant by that.
Anyways. The stupidity kicked in when I came back one weekend after one of Eric’s 48-hour bone marathons and found that he had finished on my rug and not bothered to clean it up. This was a nice rug, really tied the room together. It was the last straw. I went to student life and gave a very detailed breakdown of all of these incidents. They actually thought I was exaggerating until I walked the Dean of Housing into my room and she almost vomited from the smell. I moved out that day.
After moving out, a friend who wrote for the school paper approached me, as she was writing a fluff piece on ‘roommate pairs that just don’t work out.’ She asked if she could interview me, I said sure. I gave pretty much all the details above, but I didn’t give my own name, and I certainly didn’t give Eric’s.
Eric, genius that he was, stormed into one of his 101 PoliSci classes (the biggest at the school) and went on a rant about how wrong it was for me to go to the newspaper with these stories about him. Now again, to be clear, precisely no one (save for a few of my friends) would have known that this story was about him, but instead, he marched into the biggest lecture hall on campus and outed himself as a smelly, non-showering, brew-stealing, woman-impaling rug-ruining deviant.”
Cat And Dogs, Living Together, Having Babies
“In a philosophy of science class, we were talking about the intermediate species (missing link) objection against evolution. Our teacher explains how there is a lack of many intermediate species in the fossil record but it can be explained generally by the fact that maladapted species are quickly out-competed by species better suited to fill evolutionary niches in their environment.
A dude raises his hand and gets called on.
‘So, like a cheetah?’ He asks. Silence. Finally, the professor says, ‘Okay… what about a cheetah?’ The guy asks, ‘Well, like a cheetah, cause it’s like half-cat and half-dog, so that’s like an intermediate species.’
The only time I ever really questioned my decision to go to a public university.”
Even Teacher Can Be Very Wrong
“‘Test tube babies aren’t real people. You can’t just make people.’ – My middle school biology teacher.
Dumb because a) they had no idea how science works and b) one of the students in the room was a test tube baby and immediately withdrew inwards and was trying not to cry. It was stupid and insensitive. I ended up arguing with that teacher, getting called into the office for arguing with a teacher, getting my parents called for refusing to apologize, and having my parents argue with the principal because they agreed it was a stupid thing to say.”
Next You’ll Say That ‘Ali’ Was Based On A Real Boxer
“History class. 10th grade. We spent a week learning about the Titanic and all of the minute details leading up to the disaster. Thursday rolls around and Mr. Beaker says, ‘Go home and study because we’re gonna have a test on all the Titanic stuff tomorrow morning.’
A ditzy girl in the back says, ‘Hey! Did you know the Titanic movie is based on a true story?’
The teacher is dumbfounded, as is the whole class. Deadpan he just says, ‘Nooooo! That can’t be true.’ Everyone laughs, girl gets upset and argues with all of the laughing students and teacher. Class ends.
The next day she comes in all proud of herself and says, ‘Well guess what you guys! I asked my mom last night and she says that it is based on a true story! So HA!’
The class erupts in laughter: snorts, tears, the whole shebang. Teacher says, ‘Wow, very good Jaimie, now take out your pen – the test is about to start.’ That’s when her face dropped.”
Next You’ll Tell Me That Ben Franklin Wasn’t President
“After we watched a movie about the history of black people in America in English class, the teacher asked us what we think the biggest accomplishment for black people was in America.
One student replied with: ‘I think the biggest accomplishment was that Martin Luther King became the first black president of the US.’ And no, it wasn’t just a slip of tongue, she actually was convinced that Martin Luther King was the first black president even though we just watched a documentary about exactly that topic. I was stunned and so was my teacher.”
That’s Not How Age Works!
“My first year of college I met a girl and we became fairly close. She lived nearby so we’d spend time with her family for free meals and whatnot. One day, we’re sitting in her living room with her mother and besides the obvious 20 year age gap they looked nearly identical. Discussing getting into the bars, my friend says, ‘Mom, I’ll just use your ID and they won’t even notice. We look the same.’ I tell her that won’t work, her mother’s ID says her birth year and my friend most definitely does not look 40.
My friend’s mother thinks for a minute and says, ‘Oh, I have an old ID from when I was 21, you could use that one.’ My friend agrees and they talk about how smart their plan is… they were both equally stumped when I reminded them that just because she got the ID when she was 21 doesn’t mean the birth date would be any different.”
Fish Are Practically A Vegetable
“In high school, I knew this girl who said that she was a vegetarian but made an exception for fish. Perfectly normal, many people do this, but her reasoning behind it all was…thought-provoking. She said that she was okay with eating fish because ‘fish aren’t animals.’
Now, this was news to me. Here I had always thought of fish as animals, but I was quickly informed that this was ‘the old-fashioned way of thinking.’
My world was turned upside down, apparently, I had just never heard of the fish kingdom.”
No, The Clown Doesn’t Own The Restaurant
“In high school, American History class, a mention of McDonald’s Founder Ray Kroc prompted an exchange student to ask, surprised, ‘You mean it’s not owned by… by the clown?’
I knew it was inappropriate to laugh at this, given that it was said by someone who was still acclimating to American culture, so I kept quiet, but I’ve always remembered it and how astounding it was to hear.”
Writing Is Hard
“I was roommates for a while with a girl who was focusing on math and teaching. She wanted to teach university math, and do mathematician stuff.
She whined so much whenever her homework came in paragraphs describing a situation that she had to find the math in, instead of just in equations. She whined even harder when she had to write paragraphs for her answers.
I had a laugh when I’d just finished a 16-page essay, the biggest one I’d written in my life at that point, and then she asked me to help her with her homework, which required her to do some math, and then write one-sentence answers to the questions.
I walked her through reading every question, and how to write ‘because of blank, x is this,’ or whatever on every question, and the whole time, she complained about how math work shouldn’t include major essays like this one.
She insisted that she shouldn’t need to have to read or write as long as she could do the math.”