Sometimes, on a date, it only takes one moment to immediately convince that things will not work out with this person. Unfortunately, for some people, that moment can come far too late. Thus, breaking up is no longer an option, but escape is.
You can look no further than here to find stories of dates among the bad and bizarre and relationships among the painful and sad. People took to Reddit to vent their frustrations over potential lovers and confess hardships with abusive significant others, which they are thankful to no longer have in their lives anymore. These stories retell the moment they realized, "I got to get the heck outta this!"
"I met this college educated, handsome guy in Long Beach. He was articulate, funny, and packed a picnic for our blind date complete with cloth napkins. We went back to his place and the kitchen was a hoarder's dream.
There were at least six FULL SETS of dishes, dirty, and sitting in neatly stacked piles everywhere. Pots and pans, the same thing. There was hundreds of dollars worth of iron cookware stacked on the floor, rusting. Instead of washing dishes, he would buy more. I noped the heck out."
"I was 24 years old. I got way too wasted at my local bar in New York City and ended up going back to this guy's apartment. It was decorated by somebody’s grandmother for sure. There were candelabras everywhere. He lit ALL of them.
Then, he sat me on the couch and proceeded to go through all of these old family photo albums, specifically looking at pictures of his siblings and cousins as children. No joke, he was getting so hard that I could see the album start moving up and down. Then he asked me if I had any pictures of when I was a child or my siblings when they were children.
I had never sobered up so fast and booked it right out of there. I walked 16 blocks through East Harlem and never felt so safe in my life."
"I gave my ex a ride to his court hearing for hitting my daughter. I pointed out to him inside that there was a sign that said 'No cellphones' and that I would run our phones out to the car and be right back. I felt like my heart was going to break my sternum and I had tunnel vision as I called my sister. I told her I needed her and her husband to come with their pickup truck to my house right then. I had a small window to get as much of my daughter's and my possessions out of my house before he was released from court.
Just as we were wrapping up, I saw him running down the street like Usain Bolt right for me. I yelled for them to drop what they had and get in the truck and go. Just as I closed my car door, he ran up and tried to smash it open. I fumbled with my keys to get the engine started. He then stood in front of my car, blocking my path. I dismissed my burning desire to run him over and threw it in reverse, smashing the gas pedal down the block to the next street.
I would like to say things got better after that, but that was just the beginning of the worst year of my life. Now, I'm past all of that and living a better life. It took me awhile to realize that I have very little control over the things that happen to me, but I have complete control over how I react to them. That's pretty much been my foundation on this journey of getting myself together."
"I had been trying to work things out with the mother of my children for a couple months now. She had sworn that she cut all contact with the guy she cheated on me with. Well, her phone went off while she was in the shower and I saw his name pop up. I checked the text (yeah, I suck). Sure enough, he's talking to her like they're still together. She had deleted the previous texts.
I seriously felt the room spin and thought I was going to pass out. I didn't say a word to her. I just left. I messaged her later that I knew everything and told her to only contact me in regards to the kids. Cheaters never change. I'm not gonna talk bad about her. I didn't last time, either. For all her faults as a partner, she is a good mom. I just wish she was a better person overall."
"I was in an abusive relationship for six years. We would break up, I’d go back, he’d cheat on me again, I’d leave, I’d go back, he’d beat me up again, I’d leave, I’d go back... and so on. I can’t explain what goes through the mind of a person in an abusive relationship. He was Prince Charming when I met him and, a year in, he wasn’t anymore. Every time we’d get back together, he would be Prince Charming again at first, and then, he’d be the abuser.
The final time I left him, I had been back for about a month and had moved back in with him. Prior to this last breakup, we had two ferrets. He had a 12 year old daughter and, at that point, I had basically been the only mother she could remember having, as her mother had left when she was a baby, never to return. Missing his daughter was, of course, another reason that I kept returning. I still love her as if she’s my own, five years down the road. She was very attached to the ferrets and, even though they were really my pets, I left them behind when I had moved out, because I didn’t feel it was fair to take them away from a child. Shortly after we reconnected again, he let me know that the ferrets were a lot of work for him, so he had found them new homes on Craigslist. It had been about six months since he had gotten rid of them.
So, there I was at the house, and my drivers license was about to expire. I knew I had a copy of my birth certificate somewhere in our basement, likely in a small room that we used to store boxes of random things, as you do. I went digging around in the room and I noticed that the ferret’s cage was in the corner. The room itself had no light fixture, so, I was in there with a flashlight. When I shined the light into the corner, I saw that the cage still had bedding and such in it.
Ugh. Lazy. That’s all going to attract pests, darn it, I thought to myself. I moved the boxes out of the way and made my way to get a better look at the cage itself, as I was sure I would have to clean it out and get rid of it. That’s when I saw that the ferrets were actually still in the cage. Their little bodies had not quite decomposed. I guess the coolness of the basement kept them pretty well intact. I could see that they were both lying in the cage next to each other with their necks twisted backwards. This crazy imbecile had murdered my ferrets and kept their bodies in our basement for the previous six months.
I spent the next several days quietly making plans and packing things that he wouldn’t notice, while acting on the surface like everything was hunky-freaking-dory so that I could escape while he was at work. I was so afraid he would actually murder me this time if I tried to leave him. After I left, I called his mother and came clean about every single thing he had done, abuse-wise. She was not surprised and, to her credit, she almost immediately got a lawyer and went for custody of his daughter.
The daughter has been living with her grandmother since. She was thankfully old enough to be able to say she WANTED to live with her Nona, and they didn’t end up having to spend a long drawn out time in court over it. The ex is now with another woman and they’ve had a baby. The daughter and I still keep in contact frequently."
"It was a Grindr date. I arrived to the guy's apartment expecting it to be a one-on-one deal. I like group situations sometimes but, usually, it's known before arrival if it's going to more than one person, but whatever. I got there and the guy was jumpy as heck. I don't know what he was on, but it was the least relaxing greeting I have ever received. I continued though because, thirsty.
I walked in and there was another chap naked and on all fours, on a leash, drinking from a dog bowl. Water? Something rougher? Who knows? He just sat on his back paws and looked at me.
'Oh, hi,' I said. 'How are you?'
He didn't respond to me. He just stared at me with an expression of... Anger? Confusion? Supreme thirst? The place also smelled terrible and I got a very creepy vibe.
'Actually man,' I said to the Grindr guy, 'I have to head out. Sorry.'
I brushed right past him out the door and left him to his angry looking, non-verbal pet play."
"My then 2-year-old daughter stood in between my husband and I with arms stretched out as far as possible to make 'stop' hands, YELLING repeatedly as loud as she could, 'Stop, guys. Stop.' After the third scream, I finally heard her over him. I immediately shut my mouth. grabbed her, and ended it.
I am thankful to get out when I did. She's 6 now and asks why mommy and daddy can't live together. I am beyond thankful she does not have those horrid memories I don't wish upon any child. Parents need to be aware. I realized then that it was all about her and she needed to be raised to be respectful and kind hearted. It would not have been possible in that situation."
"My husband of 25 years, who's always struggled with addiction, started drinking heavily again and abusing other substances again. He, then, decided to join a motorcycle club and things spiraled out of control. He started not coming home all weekend and telling me it had to do with club business. They also gave him a six shooter to carry that he would leave around with total lack of respect.
I caught him with another woman on the back of his motorcycle two weeks ago. Filed for the divorce that same week. I have to look for a new job and place to live. Basically, I have to start my life over from scratch. I’m terrified, but I had to leave everything behind and get the heck out of there."
"I had wonderful roommates in college. They were seriously the best girls I could've lived with. We were all single and actively dating and thought it might be prudent to have a code-word that we could text each other if a date went south and we needed an escape. Almost a year went by and we never used it, until one night.
I had a date with a rather large man who was on our college's rodeo team. The night was pretty mediocre. He drank more than I was comfortable with and we didn't have anything in common. It was definitely not a great night, but nothing overly upsetting, until he took me back to his place, even though I had asked him to take me back to my apartment. He lived in the garage of a house and none of the roommates were there. He took his shirt off the second we got to his 'room.' He told me to stay the night, even though I was repeatedly saying I wanted to go home. After a lot of unwanted groping and refusal to let me out of the bed, I texted my roommates our word 'POTATO.'
Within five minutes, one of the girls called, wailing and fake crying loudly enough that he could hear it. She made up a fake emergency and said she was coming to get me so we could go to the hospital. I told her where I was and she rode up like a knight on a white horse and got my butt out of there. I have no idea what she was doing before that text but she dropped everything to help me out and spent the night eating fast food and watching TV with me. I'll never forget that."
"My friend met a guy online. He asked her on a date. She felt a bit nervous going alone and asked me to come with. It was a good thing she did. Both of us were underage. This guy was nearly 30. Yeah, my friend is an idiot.
The guy took us to a really fancy restaurant and bought us drinks. The whole time, he would talk on, and on, and on about all his exes and how every single one of them was an underage Asian girl. He talked for ages about how smooth and nice Asian hair is. He kept asking to smell her's, making jokes about Asians, saying he liked to date Asians because they were 'subservient' and 'traditional.' Those were his exact words.
So, bad vibes. This guy was a racist creep. My friend was visibly uncomfortable, so we escaped to the bathroom for a few minutes. I told her I could make an excuse so we could go home, but she was too nice and said no. She would feel bad ditching the guy after he spent so much on us. After a few minutes, I caved and agreed to tag along for a little while longer. No way was I leaving her alone with this guy.
Because my friend was such a sweet girl and incapable of saying 'no,' I ended up third-wheeling for the most awkward date ever for the entire day, having to interrupt every time he tried to kiss her or play with her hair. This creep continued to ignore me, but tolerate me. He spent the entire day making my friend as uncomfortable as he possibly could, making Asian jokes and comments in nearly every sentence, constantly making fetishing remarks about her, and speaking to her in Japanese randomly, even though she told him about a million times that she was Chinese.
EVENTUALLY, my friend had enough and asked me to get her out. Knowing if I said I had to go, he would try and pressure her to stay without me. I, instead, faked a phone call from her mom saying she needed to get home and help with something. I kept it pretty vague. Despite our conversation, literally 30 seconds earlier, my friend didn't catch on and asked why. She asked to talk to her mom, then told me that nobody was on the other end of the phone. She asked for an out, I gave her one, and she mucked it up, forcing me to make more awkward excuses, like, 'She didn't say' and 'Oh she must have hung up,' etc, etc...
After she finally noticed, she told the guy we had to go. We all headed toward the train station, bought our tickets, and got to the platform. Then, this guy had the balls to grab my friend's arms and try to forcibly drag her off. The yelling and fighting gets the attention of a really large guy standing nearby who came over looking angry. The creep, who was short and skinny, got scared and ran away with his tail between his legs. The other guy was so sweet and stayed with us until our train got there.
The moral of the story here is, just to bring a friend when meeting new people. Also, strangers are a mixed bag. They can either be awful, or wonderful. Also, don't be a doormat. Say no to people sometimes. Now that we're older, we laugh about it, but at the time, darn, we should have gotten out of there while we still had daylight."
"I met a guy on a dating site, the first time I ever met someone that way. I went to his house. He came out to meet me wearing shorts, a golf shirt with blue windmills, black socks, and those black and white checkered shoes. He took me to his garage where he had a radio studio and took a bunch of pictures of me. He then asked me if I'd like to meet his mom. This guy was in his 40s.
We went into the house through a dark hallway where he kept putting his hands on me, but the smell of cat urine was kind of getting me sidetracked. We went to the living room where his mom was, along with her shrine of her dead husband and Barbie dolls over the mantle. He showed me the collection of dolls in a bedroom that was crammed with dolls, some of them with old glasses on them. I told him I had cramps and had to leave. He offered a heating pad and his mom's bed. I left."
"Went on a blind date only once in my life during my first semester of college. It actually went OK. We were both awkward and I didn't feel a spark, but I definitely wouldn't have called it a bad first date. Then, it came time to pay.
I pulled out my wallet and started to say we should go dutch since nobody really asked anyone out directly, but he interrupted me. He started going off about how girls are trying to be so 'in charge' these days. He was seriously furious that I got my wallet out. I stopped him and told him I was happy to let him pay. It wasn't that big a deal. This made him angrier for some reason, because now I was being passive aggressive.
Eventually, he paid and we parted ways. He insisted on walking me to my car and tried to steal a kiss!! When he texted the next morning, he had the balls to ask me out again. I told him clearly I wasn't interested. His response?
'That's cool. It was a pity date anyway. Gotta give the 3/10s of the world a few hours of happiness, too.'"
"A girl I had gone on a couple dates with invited me and several of her friends to a bar to celebrate her birthday. Among them were two 'bros' I had never met before. They got wasted pretty fast and were being really loud, loud enough that it was obviously annoying the other bar patrons. The bros decided to do a shot. After gulping them down, one let out a loud 'WOO!' A random bar patron gave a mocking 'WOO!' back at him. This obviously ticked off the bros, but for the moment, they didn't do anything. They just stayed quiet and stewed on it.
Then, they decided to do another shot. After doing the shot this time, instead of a 'WOO!' one of the bros looked at the bar patron and yelled out 'NERD!' In that instant, I shot out of my chair to walk out of the bar. There was no way I was going to let these wasted bro imbeciles drag me into some physical altercation by proxy for no reason.
The thing was, at least two other members of our group had the exact same plan, so on the word 'nerd,' the three of us stood up in unison and walked out of the bar without a word to anyone until we got outside.The bar had big glass windows in front, so we could see that the two bros were suddenly quite deflated that a third of what they must assumed was their 'crew' had just bailed on them. The birthday girl played peacemaker and went to apologize to the bar patron, which he was gracious about. The rest of the group left just a few minutes after we did with no further incident.
I never dated that girl again."
"My friend and I were out drinking and she met the hottest guy we’ve ever seen. I was dating someone else, so I was just there for fun/moral support. He ended up inviting us over. I wasn’t about to let her go alone, so I tagged along and planned on sleeping on his couch. His roommate was with him and I made it very clear from the get go that I was not interested.
We got in their car and he started driving. We were in the car for a while, and neither of us recognized where we were. Once we arrived at their apartment, I realized that their couch was covered in random crap and there was just enough space for me to sit. They had a cat and his litter box was just chilling in the living room and had not been cleaned in God knows how long. My feet were hurting from wearing heels and the guy tried to help his roommate out by trying to sell me on using his 'spa stuff' to soak my feet, and maybe get a massage. I held firm on the couch.
It was 3 am and there was nowhere for me to sleep, so I checked to see how far we were from home. We were freaking 40 minutes from home and an Uber cost $50. I was not paying for that. This was her adventure, so I decided to wait until the morning. The roommate invited me to watch a movie. I took the bed and he took the floor. He put on Transformers to watch. Needless to say, I fell asleep quickly. I woke up early and hounded my roommate to wake up so we could high-tail it out of there.
The drinking also gave me diarrhea and the guys' bathroom was disgusting and right next to his room. He would have heard my stomach exploding into the toilet. Our Uber was over 10 minutes away and I was about to poop my pants. I considered paying the Uber driver to stop at a Walgreens because I didn’t think I would make it all the way home. Thankfully, he arrived soon and I made it home without dying. She definitely paid for the Uber home."