Everyone hates that sinking feeling when those red and blue lights pop up behind you while you’re cruising down the highway. Traffic citations, look horrible on our track record, make our insurance go up, and can be costly! It’s not every day we can charm our way out of a ticket, but in these stories, drivers share the moment their silver tongues got them out of an unwanted punishment.
All stories have been edited for clarity.
What Had Happened Was…
“I was in traffic court one day when this guy charged with running through a stop sign at eighty miles an hour was up next. He approached the bench and the judge asked him if he wanted to say anything for himself.
The guy then perked up. ‘Your honor,’ the man began. ‘I was having car problems and my car wouldn’t start. I was dead on the street when this stranger came by and offered to give me a push. I accepted, but he was pushing me too fast. I signaled for him to slow down by waving my arm out the window. The stranger misinterpreted my signal I guess because he started pushing me faster and faster. I was waving my arm furiously, desperately trying to slow down but the dude kept increasing the speed until I ran through this stop sign.’
The judge was cracking up laughing at the end of this man’s pleading.
‘Do you expect me to believe that you went through a stop sign without even slowing down at eighty miles an hour because this stranger was pushing you too fast?’
‘Yes, your honor,’ the man said with a straight face.
To my amazement, the judge let him off with no penalty because the man made his day with a creative, magnificent story that lightened up the tension in the courtroom.”
No Bun In The Oven
“My friends and I got pulled over one night. The driver’s girlfriend and I were in the backseat while my two other friends were in the front. The driver’s girlfriend was very petite.
I could tell the driver was a little nervous about getting pulled over. He kept looking back in the rearview mirror to see when the cop was going to approach the car.
Finally, the cop walked slowly to the window and asked if the driver knew why he was being pulled over. The driver looked back at his girlfriend before he faced the cop and told him he was rushing to get his pregnant girlfriend to the hospital.
The cop suddenly looked interested and looked in the backseat at the obviously NOT pregnant girlfriend of the driver. The cop then sighed and told the driver, ‘This woman is not pregnant.’
The driver then turned around and yelled at his girlfriend, ‘You told me you were pregnant, liar!’
The driver’s delivery was so perfect. His outburst, combined with the complete bewilderment of everyone else in the car, made the cop burst out laughing before he let us go with a warning.”
“At around 3 AM one morning, my roommate and another guy we knew were driving home after a college party.
My roommate and I were cruising while the other guy drove us back to our dorm. Before we knew it, he had gotten pulled over for doing seventy in a fifty. When the cop came to the window and asked the stereotypical, ‘Do you know why I pulled you over?’ the guy, without missing a beat, replied with ‘I assume it is because you found out what is in my trunk.’
The cop then widened his eyes and replied with, ‘What?’
I remember looking over at my roommate who looked just as confused. The cop’s face scrunched up before he replied. ‘Sir, can you please open your trunk?’
So the guy calmly unlocked his trunk using a button on the side of the door, got out of the car, and proceeded to open his trunk as the cop requested. From the back window, I saw the cop with a flashlight look through his trunk for a few minutes, before he closed it.
The guy came back to the driver’s seat without saying a word and sat down. The cop then came back and said, ‘You are free to go, get home safe.’
After the cop pulled away I asked, ‘What do you have in your trunk?’
The guy perked up and said, ‘Oh, I work at a grocery store and earlier today we had an entire shipment of bananas that we were going to throw out. After my shift, I decided to pull my car up to the back entrance and filled up my trunk with bananas. They are all still back there.’
Sure enough, after we got to my dorm, I decided to check for myself. The guy was not joking. His entire trunk was packed full of bananas.
I don’t know why he wanted so many bananas, but partially drunk me just accepted it as a normal thing and went inside.”
Not How Things Work
“I had a cop laugh in my face when I was nineteen and got caught speeding.
I was doing seventy-five on the highway at night. The area had signs that indicated the speed limit was seventy during the day but sixty at night.
I genuinely didn’t know I was speeding because my mind went back to a different incident when I was a kid. My dad was a speed demon on the road, and I was a snitch of a kid.
One night on the same highway, I looked over and saw him driving about eighty miles an hour. I innocently pointed out the sign and said the speed limit was sixty at night. I then told my dad he was supposed to slow down.
My dad told me, without missing a beat, ‘That rule only applies to eighteen-wheelers.’
Stupidly, I believed him.
So now ten years later, this cop pulled me over and pointed out the lower speed limit at night.
I looked the cop dead in the eye and said, ‘My dad told me that only applies to trucks?’ It sounded more like a question than a statement.
The cop closed his eyes before he started chuckling. My genuine confusion and embarrassment apparently convinced him I had no idea I was speeding.
Thankfully, the cop didn’t write a ticket.
Use The Force
“Once I got pulled over for speeding. I was twenty years old in the college town I grew up in.
The officer who came to the window looked fairly young, so I thought if I made a joke, he might go easy on me.
The cop stood there for a moment before he asked if I knew why he pulled me over.
I looked down and mustered some courage before I looked up at the cop with a straight face. I then waved my hand slowly and said, ‘These are not the droids you are looking for. Move along.’
I knew the stunt I pulled only made things worse, but to my absolute surprise, the cop paused for a second, looked at me, and said, ‘These are not the droids I’m looking for. Move along at a slower speed.’
I watched as the cop went back to his car and drove away.”