Drunk driving is still a felony if you do it on a lawnmower, sadly.
Florida Highway Patrol began receiving calls about a man driving a red, sit-on, lawnmower down the Suncoast Parkway highway. He clearly wasn’t out to trim the sides either and was swerving all over the place. People were concerned for his and their own health.
Despite only being 8.30 am, on arrival, they encountered a clearly intoxicated 38-year-old Christopher Spain. Drunk, behind the wheel of the lawnmower, he was taking himself on a joy ride. Thankfully, he had taken some measure of safety and was found to be on the shoulder of the highway.
When police finally caught up wth him, it was clear that he wasn’t of sound mind. Highway patrol reported that he was seen to have pinpoint pupils, nasal irritation, and a very dry mouth. But, I imagine drying a lawnmower down the side of a highway would probably do that to a man, drunk or not.
It was also noted that he was repeatedly spitting and clearing his throat during the arrest.
You Got A License For That?
When the police attempted to give Spain a sobriety test, he refused. According to him, he had already had a few drinks before he hopped on the mower. So, the police arrested him on the spot. He was charged with driving under the influence.
The drunk lawn mower driver was booked into Hernando County Jail and was released the next afternoon on $500 bond. It’s possible his drunk driving lawnmower may cost a little more to get from the impound, so until then, his yard is going to suffer.
Despite being slow and incredibly low-powered, a lawn mower still counts as a motorized vehicle. Although he probably wasn’t at much risk of smashing into something with devastating effects, he was a hazard to others around him.
Even riding a bicycle drunk is considered a felony in most states. However, if you have a horse somewhere like California or Oregon, you can ride that around to your heart’s content after a few too many beers. You’re only at risk of being arrested for being drunk and dishorsely.