The PACER or bleep test in high school was a test of your mettle like none other. It was the brutal, last man standing, endurance test that would leave only one, sweaty, exhausted student at the end, as the undisputed champion. Love it or hate it, almost all of us have had to do it.
For anyone spared the gruelling PACER test, it was a series of progressively quicker beeps. By the time the next one arrived, you had to be on the other side of a set running distance. Fail, and you’re out.
An event organiser in New York managed to pull together a record-breaking number of people to participate in a PACER test in Central Park. Apparently, the trauma of high school wasn’t deep enough to keep the Gen Zers away.
The event was advertised on Partiful, tempting PACER hopefuls to “try to set the Record for the world’s Largest FitnessGram Pacer Test in Central Park.” The winner was even offered a medal. The event went viral, and more than 600 people turned up to see if they still had what it takes.
Trauma Bonding
I’m convinced that people who join running clubs are just masochists looking for fellow perverts. It appears that the PACER test hopefuls were cut from the same cloth. “It’s like how we all have the PSAT memes and bonded over that,” one runner explained. “People might not have done well on that, but … it’s something a lot of people know.”
“When I was in school, we were like ‘Ugh, we have to do it again?’ And now people join here just for fun,” another runner explained. However, one had a score to settle. They were clearly not the athletic ones in the class when they were younger, and had a point to prove.
“I need to reclaim my score from middle school, being one of the first ones out.”
As with every PACER test, there was that one kid who just absolutely hammered it, with seemingly bottomless energy. They were probably sniffing sherbert before the event or something. Illegal levels of Haribo in their bloodstream.
The winner was 24-year-old Aric Cutuli. He smashed out 51 laps, and when asked how he prepared, he flexed on the other sweaty, grounded competitors by saying all it took was “I didn’t drink that much last night.”