Prison food is the name given to culinary dishes made using whatever incarcerated people can make from whatever they can get their hands on inside. It’s not pretty, and it’s usually a poor imitation of the real deal, but it helps prisoners cope. However, it appears that Stockholm syndrome has kicked in for a few cons, and they’ve started selling prison pizza outside, and it’s not cheap.
Prison food videos have been popping off online. Some of them are cooked out of the joint, with ex-cons instructing. But a hilarious amount of them are shot from inside the prison itself. All sorts, ranging from wine to tacos, are whipped up by the creative convicts.
Yet another of the meals whipped up behind bars has gone viral, and this time, it’s prison pizza. Watching the video, I feel like calling it a pizza is a bit of a stretch. But when you’re doing a stretch, that’s all that’s on offer.
Prison Pizza Looks Problematic
The base of the pizza is made of rolled Doritos. This, already, doesn’t exactly sound great. But it gets made worse with the sauce and cheese coming from two squirty bottles. I presume that one of them is cheese anyway. Then come the toppings.
Of course, prison pizza isn’t going to have delicious pepperoni or anchovies. Instead, the jailhouse chef pours what looks like a microwave meal on top. Finally, whatever else they get their hands on gets added to the pizza. The whole monstrosity is finished with more sauce.
Customers are reportedly paying $75 for a prison-style brick pizza. 😳🍕pic.twitter.com/FRsxCyp1tk
— My Mixtapez (@mymixtapez) August 6, 2025
Obviously, prison pizza is an oven-free recipe, so once that final layer of sauce is on, it’s finished. Prison pizza is flat chips, sauce, and a microwave meal. It hardly sounds edible, and it certainly doesn’t look it.
Amazingly, the caption on the video claims that this behind-bars dish costs the shmuck paying for it $75. You couldn’t pay me that much to even attempt to eat it.
But, as a business idea, it’s not a bad one. A lot of people leave prison completely institutionalized. They crave the life they were forced into after they leave. Maybe prison pizza is comfort food for those adjusting to the free world once more.