It's luck of the draw when it comes to college roommates. Some people, unfortunately, get the short end of the stick. Here, horrified AskRedditors have been kind enough to share their nightmare freshman roommate stories. To read more, click the source link on the last _**__page._**
He’s a real “yeah” man.
I left for class but it got canceled. When I came back to my dorm room, my roommate was in my video game chair watching Lifetime with a bottle of nighttime cold medicine next to him. My camp blanket was up around his neck…
Me: You naked under my blanket…?
Him: Yeah man.
Me: Pleasuring yourself to Lifetime while high on cold meds?
Him: Yeah man.
Me: I’ll be back in 10 minutes. Don’t be here…
Him: Yeah man.
Making it rain.
I was super tired all the time so I would often sit on the floor in the shower and just let the water wash my sorrows away. Well, I accidentally fell asleep, and I happened to fall asleep with my butt right on top of the drain. It plugged the drain and caused the entire bathroom, dorm room, and the floor below us to flood.
Major plot twist.
I was in a small triple freshman year. Early on my roommate was extremely studious and would accept nothing lower than pretty much an A on everything. He would beat himself up if it wasn’t good enough and we would try to get him to relax a bit.
Second half of freshman year he buys a new computer and World of Warcraft. Refuses to go to class and played World of Warcraft nonstop all night and would sleep through the whole day. It was disrupting to me and my other roommate. He eventually ended up pretty much dropping out of school. I’ve never seen such a change around.
He has actually gotten back on track though and has been doing pretty well for himself.
He wasn’t too bad on the whole, except for the habit of alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze…….
Why do people do this?
At least he was a multi-tasker.
My roommate had no sleep schedule. He also chewed loudly, played the bass, and watched anime without headphones. At the same time. At 3 am.
Sorry not sorry.
She was disgusting and a total slob and wouldn’t let me clean her side of the room. It was always super cluttered with garbage everywhere. Our room had a gross smell all the time because of her, so I finally broke down and decided to let her be mad at me, and cleaned everything. I found cups, like 5 or 6, of partially drank spoiled, rotten, curdled chocolate milk…plates of partially eaten mouldy food…it was horrible. She got so angry that I cleaned it that she ended up moving in with another girl. I wasn’t upset about it.
Out of sight, out of mind.
He was leaving dirty plates in his bed, covered with his sheets. When he was going to sleep, he just kicked the plates and didn’t bother to clean them.
Cat fishing and cat hair.
I was friends with a girl a year behind me, her freshman year she was randomly matched with a girl who:
1) I was convinced she was in a relationship with the lead singer of Tokyo Hotel, and had been for several years, but it was obviously some catfisher on the internet. They would Skype where only he could see her, his video would be blank for “security reasons” and he told her they could never meet in person because of the media.
And since he was always ‘on tour’ she would Skype with him at all hours of the night to make up for the time zone differences. It was actually kinda sad/scary. Several people I know tried to explain to her that she was being taken advantage of, but she could/would not listen.
2) Brought multiple bags from home stuffed full of her cat’s hair, and knitted tiny clothes/figurines/whatever out of it. My friend was of course very allergic to cat hair.
A character to say the least.
We had a suite of six guys. One of these guys, Ron, was weird and did all sorts of hysterical things.
Example 1: He was barefoot wherever he went (not too bad, but we got concerned when it started snowing).
Example 2: Me and another suite mate came home one day and opened the door and there were something like 5 20-gallon drums filled with dirt and dying plants. There were bugs everywhere for weeks. When we asked Ron about them, he responded by exclaiming, “Look guys! Can you believe the farm was giving these away for free??”
Example 3: He liked to use the microwave to cook. He once baked weed into chocolate using the microwave (impressive). Another time he put a plastic bowl in for about 20 minutes until the thing vaporized and released poison smoke. Another time he made his tea so hot that it spilled and melted the carpet.
Example 4: He invited my roommate in for a threesome (guess it would have been a foursome if he had said yes) out of the blue.
Example 5: He fermented apple wine under his bed. That was actually pretty cool.
Just call me Cinderella or whatever.
She got kicked out for failing, and the night before she left she got super drunk, threw up everywhere and left me to clean it up.
The music man.
My freshman roommate lost her virginity the night before move-in to her much older, very creepy, unemployed (“musician”) boyfriend. It happened in the hotel room that she was sharing with her mom and little sister, who were in the bed next to them.
This guy basically lived with us on weekends. I had to always change in the dark because a strange creepy dude was lying there, usually butt naked.
She decided it would be funny to pants me during a four AM fire drill in front of the entire dorm, which was co-ed. I don’t wear underwear to sleep… she failed to see how this wasn’t hilarious.
There were a million other things, but those stick out the most.
Ever heard of a toilet?
The very first weekend of my freshman year in college, my roommate comes back from a party at like 2 AM or whatever, and proceeds to vomit on my desk, which did contain my laptop computer on it…
Jay, if you’re reading this, screw you.
One of my freshman roommates was a self-professed kleptomaniac. She got a huge thrill from stealing clothes from department stores. Usually Nordstrom.
In the first week or so of school, she went through her closest and showed us all of the clothing she had stolen, plus she knew how much each item cost and how she’d swiped it. Thousands of dollars worth of nice clothing.
She had so much that half of it still had tags on and she never wore it, but she took it because she knew she could. Usually this theft involved carrying a really big purse, taking way too many items into a dressing room, and then emerging with one item in the purse, one to buy, and the rest to put back. Then if an alarm went off, they would assume it was just the item she had purchased and let her leave.
Half the time she returned the item she paid for soon after too. It got to the point where girls in the dorm would go to the mall with her, and they’d all pick out clothes they liked and she’d go back on her own later and steal them for them. And to my knowledge, she’s still doing this and hasn’t been caught. She never seemed to steal from anywhere other than department stores, and none of my stuff ever went missing, so I guess she wasn’t too bad of a roommate, really. Just a person of questionable morals.
A rotten apple.
She was sweet as a peach to your face, but honest to goodness couldn’t stand NOT being the center of attention. She lied about insomnia to her teachers because she stayed up late playing video games, laughing super loudly, and calling her friends. At one point, she claimed that she started “seeing things”.
The more time I spent with my boyfriend and not with her, and tried to, against campus policy, rewrite our “roommate contract” with our sketchy RA so that she could claim I was breaking our agreement and get me kicked out since I was no longer paying her any attention.
Two for the price of one.
I was fortunate to have lived with TWO awful roommates during my freshman year.
Number one was Eddie. Eddie was my original roommate. After the typical freshman e-mail exchanges (who’s getting the fridge, microwave, rug, etc.) we had the opportunity to meet on move-in day.
At first, Eddie was a great roommate – fun to hang out with, good to grab a bite with. But then Eddie found out how hard engineering is. You see, he was a mechanical engineering major and found that it was just too difficult.
Instead of switching majors, he decided to just give up. He stopped going to class…didn’t go out on the weekend…He. Just. Stayed. There. All the time. Day and night. I kid you not, he only left to eat – at the cafe on the first floor.
Lucky for me, Eddie failed all of his classes and didn’t come back, leaving me with a room all to myself!!
I started my second semester with my own room/bachelor pad. I moved the beds together to set up a nice queen bed, to host the nonexistent ladies I’d be bringing home. The room was huge without a second person!
Mozart in the making.
He brought a keyboard. He only know the first fifty seconds or so of the Star Wars Cantina Song, but practiced those fifty seconds as loudly as possible for hours at a time.
Mind if I join?
I shared a room with one guy. He would do the deed while I was in the room trying to sleep. He drank my booze, ate my food and used my stuff.
One night I was “sleeping”, while he was hammering away. When they finished, they started making fun of me, I got up, walked across the room and crawled into bed with them. They were mortified.
Eau de toilette.
Had a roommate come back to our dorm room from one of the many rush week frat parties he attended, wasted out of his mind. He stripped down to his stained white briefs and passed out on his bed.
In the middle of the night, I woke up to find him standing, totally nude, inches from my bed, his butt literally right in my face. He proceeded to fart in my face and then start peeing in the trash can next to my bed.
After he was done peeing in the trash can, and all over the floor, he promptly went back to his bed and passed out, face up, with no covers.
I got up, got a bottle of Febreeze, and sprayed my trash can and the rug. I then realized why he peed in my trash can. It’s because he had puked in his. So, I sprayed his trash can too.
Then, for good measure and because I was furious, I spent about 30 seconds spraying his naked pacakge with Febreeze while he snored and drooled.
Yeah…I couldn’t stand him.
Easy there, Gordon Ramsay.
I lived in an apartment-style dorm with a kitchen, living room, and two double bedrooms. One of the guys in the other bedroom fancied himself a chef (in reality, I think he was a dishwasher at Outback) so he would cook all the time in the apartment. He had this habit of hanging a plastic shopping bag from the oven door handle and just tossing cut scraps, egg shells, etc. into that bag. The problem is, he never actually threw that bag away. I was never around while he was cooking so I didn’t pay that bag much mind nor realize it was always the same bag.
After couple of weeks, we started to notice a foul smell and the presence of fruit flies in the apartment. I was deep cleaning the kitchen and I brushed up against that bag and no less than a hundred fruit flies burst up from inside it. Needless to say, I freaked the hell out.
A visit from the RA and the maintenance team to spray and he was required to clean up after every meal and take the trash out twice a week, on penalty of being kicked out of the dorms.
Sleep. Study. Sleep. Study. Sleep. Study. Die.
My roommate would study all night on a completely messed up schedule—twenty minutes studying, twenty minutes sleep, and so on. The result was her alarm going off at twenty-minute intervals all night for weeks leading up to and during finals. It’s partly my fault for being too cripplingly shy to confront her about it—we never spoke, which was terrible on its own—but how is that even an effective way to learn (or sleep)?
Burger on the rocks.
Mine was not terrible by any means, but he did have this quirk that confuses me to this day. Whenever he got something to eat, he would put it in the room’s mini fridge to chill. Burgers, fries, pizza… it all went in the fridge before he ate it.
After his food was properly chilled, he would take out a head of iceberg lettuce and ranch dressing and eat it as a side. Sometimes he would rip off a leaf and dip it in a ranch bowl, but more often than not he would drizzle the ranch on the head itself and eat the whole thing like an apple. Possibly the oddest eating habit I’ve ever seen.
They actually crammed 3 of us into a dorm room. That was bad enough because it was so cramped. One of the guys that was in there seemed totally fine when I first met him. Turns out all he did was stay out partying really late every night. Then he’d sleep in. Every. Single. Day.
We never even got a chance to talk to this guy because he’d come back after we’d gone to sleep, and he would never even wake up until we were long gone attending classes for the day.
Even then I wouldn’t have cared much, except I don’t think the kid ever took a shower. He made our whole dorm room smell like some kind of sour, tangy B.O. and it was awful. If I remember right, that went on until Thanksgiving break. When we came back from break, all his stuff was gone and we never saw him again.
Babies know how to party, bro.
He had a girlfriend that didn’t attend our university that would stay the entire weekend. They stayed in bed, lights out, ordered delivery, wouldn’t leave. At one point I woke up and there was a baby in our room (they were babysitting). A freakin’ baby!
DO YOU HAVE TO BREATHE?!
I had a roommate and a suite mate. It was two rooms, each with two beds, and a shared bathroom. The dude in the suite next to ours didn’t have a roommate for whatever reason.
Our suite mate would regularly flip out if there was any noise after about 10:00, because he went to an extremely early church service every morning.
When I say any noise, I mean that if I had to pee after 10:00, I would get screamed at, threatened with violence, etc. It got the point that he was shoving notes under our door threatening to murder our families.
I remember at one point I was watching a movie with my friends and he banged on the door screaming, “What the heck is wrong with you [insert racist and homophobic slurs]. Stop making so much noise, I have to go to church!!!”
He got kicked out of school.
This is wrong on so many levels.
My first roommate was a homophobe. He was really nice at first, not really someone I’d be friends with but I figured we’d be fine to share a room for a bit.
I don’t know how he found out about my sexuality; it’s not like I was trying to keep it a secret but I don’t remember mentioning it to him. Pretty suddenly, he went from friendly to completely silent, glaring at me whenever I was in the room.
Over Christmas break he e-mailed me saying that I was going to be moved when I came back. My residence admin said my roommate was afraid I was going to assault him so the school was moving me to single dorm.
My friend’s roommate in the dorm put up a curtain. He barely ever came out. It was a bit creepy. When my friend left at the end of the year he said the curtain was still up and it looked like he hadn’t begun packing. I think he’s still there. This was 14 years ago.