Sometimes the person your child chooses to spend the rest of their life with isn’t the right one. You can clearly see all the red flags: from being negligent towards their partner, to being downright abusive.
In this article, disappointed parents explain why they hate their kids significant other.
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
It’s thanksgiving day… Daughter brings new boyfriend over and they are dozing off at the table (clearly high). I offer to take them home saying “if your so tired maybe you should go home.” The new boyfriend gets angry and starts swearing at me. I had to shove him out the door and when he tries to get back in, I call the cops. They came and took him away.
He stole, and then lied when presented solid evidence of his theft. Yes, I can see my beer in your truck. No, there’s no way that you also happen to drink my coworkers home brew.
When my son was 15 to 18 years old, he dated a young woman who didn’t like me (single mom) and repeatedly tried to get him to disobey and disrespect me. Honestly, I never did anything to her, but she never let up. I would say to young people, never get serious with someone who encourages you to hate your family, unless of course the people in your family are abusive.
He tried to steal my car, dog, and VCR at about three in the morning. When I caught him about to pull out of the driveway, his excuse was:
“I have to run to my place really quick to grab a bite to eat. Would you like anything?”
When I asked about Sasha [my dog], and my VCR, he said he was worried someone would steal them while he was gone, so he was bringing them with him to keep them safe…
My little girl dumped him, and I let him keep the VCR…
Step-dad of a 16 year old girl here. I tried to like the little schmuck she is dating, I really did. However, after just a couple of months together he got caught in enough lies trying to get into her pants that I didn’t like the kid much.
The latest shenanigan was threatening to break up with her unless she gave her virginity to him on short notice after calling her all sorts of names over her Halloween costume. When we had his mother confront him, he admitted it and ‘grounded himself’ because he felt so badly about it. She has turned her back on her family for him and he is so beyond not worth it. When we had to move three hours away for work, she refused to go because of him and is now living with my wife’s mother. Thankfully she is about as fond of the boy as I am so their contact remains minimal.
Repeatedly infected my teenage son with lice. Every time he came home with them, he’d say they broke up, we’d go through the whole delousing process, then they’d be back together the next week. Repeat.
I’ve spent a fortune this year on pesticides, shampoos and combs. I wanted to report her parents to the CDC, but my wife didn’t want to make waves.
My sons have no problems with the girls they dated/date. Daughter has attracted some real weirdos. We always kept quiet about not liking them, trusted that she would see them for what they were eventually and we have been lucky. The one before the current one (which we really like) was really a lost boy. He wasn’t a take charge person and was totally helpless. Almost set our house on fire and when our daughter was seriously ill, he didn’t get that she needed to rest and be left alone. She finally convinced him it was over when she moved across the country for school.
They got together when he was 15, she was 19 at the time, every time they broke up she would sleep with one of his friends. My son is no saint, but she brought out the worst in him with drugs and booze all the time, and they would fist fight nonstop. When he was 17, he moved out and got a place with her, a very nice place in the suburbs that she pays for with her stripping and drug dealing. She also got pregnant when he was 18, continued to strip and take pills. Had a miscarriage at 5 months. I just hate her, and I hate that we all have to pretend we like her or he doesn’t come around the family at all.
Convinced her to sneak out of our house in the middle of night. Then cut work. Then cut school. Then drop out of high school and run away.
Eventually she left that person. Found a new person and got married in a month. Now mostly she sits around collecting food stamps and smoking weed. (My opinion: smoke weed if you want, but if you don’t have enough money for food, you shouldn’t have enough money for pot.)
My daughter’s life is ruined.
My spidey senses tingled from the moment I met my daughter’s new boyfriend, and for the three years they were together I never could stomach being around him. It was only after they eventually broke up that she confided in me things that broke my heart; he started out ostensibly charming but gradually devolved into an abusive, controlling, sadistic person.
I try to focus on being grateful that she dodged a bullet (well, that’s relative I guess), but yeah you could say his revelation of his true colors made me not like him.
My son’s girlfriend of 7 years decides that she needs another boyfriend while keeping my son in the dark. Tells him she had an abortion which made my son guilty because he thought it was his, it wasn’t. All while telling him she wants to work out the relationship while living with another guy. My son then goes into depression, lives alone, looses his job, becomes an addict, and calls me and says, help me mom.
Decided that renting a house with her and two other friends was a great idea when he has no job and isn’t going to school. Meanwhile, my daughter is going to school full-time, busting her neck working, and living off minute rice so he can play on Xbox live (my son sees him on all the time).
Yes, I know my daughter made the decision herself, but he’s taking advantage and it isn’t right.
I suppose I am angrier with myself because I thought I taught her to be smarter and stronger than that. And more grateful for the home I got with a full finished suite downstairs with her in mind, so she would have her own space while going to school.
I miss her and I’m afraid she’s going to drop out of school.
Well… I’ve never met the kid… he got my daughter pregnant (I know it takes two, I’ve already voiced my thoughts to her), married her (only good thing he’s done), and the only interaction is when he threatened to call the police on my wife when my daughter and her got into an argument claiming that’s “his babies mother now.”
After which he broke up with my daughter for a few days. Yeah, apparently that really mattered. Didn’t even bother to man up when they found out she was pregnant and come tell me he was sorry, and is going to make it right… whatever. He is still a jerk to this day. If they make it to the kids first birthday, I’ll be surprised!
My daughter is 19 years old. Her new significant other is MY AGE. He’s wealthy and travels to China for work more than he is home. He’s also very controlling already, and it’s only been less than 2 months. We bought our daughter a plane ticket to Canada (we live in Texas) because the whole family is getting together there for Christmas. The other night, she staged an argument with us so that she could then say, ‘that’s it, i’m not going to Canada for Christmas’ and I’m 99% sure she’s planning on joining the new significant other in China, instead.
The most controlling, judgmental person I’ve ever met- she makes a degrading comment about everyone as if she’s this pristine moral princess and yet she has piercings, tattoos and comes from a mess of a home life. She’s said things in front of wait staff that make me shudder, God knows she deserves whatever they do to her food. It’s very hard to be around her for more than an hour. I just don’t get what my son sees in her- he’s a happy, positive guy, bright future in marketing. All of his friends can’t stand her. Our family tolerates her for his sake.
Knocked her up twice, ok she had something to do with that, then at their wedding, that she did all the work on, he was off snorting God knows what. Had another kid, surprise. He’s never had a job, claims he’s self employed but never works. She’s had to carry that deadbeat for 10 years now. She’s finally divorcing him and he’s making it difficult because he doesn’t want to lose his meal ticket. He leaves the house when I’m there because we hate each other.
At first, she helped him pay for the majority of his bike. Not that bad. But then he basically burned through her savings account, leaving her with nothing. He spilled orange soda on her laptop and didn’t tell her for a year so now it’s all messed up. He would sneak out while she was sleeping to hang with girls he knew she didn’t like. And he totaled her car, that was almost paid off. I’m so glad they are not together anymore. She definitely upgraded to a gentleman.
He has manipulated and emotionally abused my youngest -17 year old girl – into moving across the country to live with him to sell pot for him and his horrible cousin, and treats me like I have no right to parent her because she doesn’t live with me. I moved to Europe, she was meant to finish high school while staying with her biological dad and then take a gap year with me in EU until College. The guy had other plans. My daughter used to be very strong willed and focused on her future. At first when he didn’t get his own way with her he would throw a tantrum and punch, kick and throw stuff around. She has since stopped disagreeing with him and now complies with his wishes. When I intercede he yells at her. When I come to Canada to visit she is only permitted to stay with me for 1 night at a time and then he whines that he misses her and she goes back home to him.
I feel powerless to help her, I feel like I’ve lost my baby in some kind of vortex and I’ll never be able to pull her back.
My daughter was 16 and he was 21. He had convinced her to move out of home to a shitty sharehouse. He was jobless and a highschool dropout who did nothing but smoke weed all day (no problem with weed if you work or studying). He used to stop her from going to work, stop her seeing friends, isolated her from everything and tried to isolate her from me and her mother. He abused her, took her money and verbally abused her too. He began to threaten to kill me when she wanted to leave him, kill her or himself. Eventually he started calling me, my wife and my home phone when she ignored him threatening all of us. We all had to get our numbers changed. She stayed with him for three years (on and off for the last 2). She left him a few months ago, has had a restraining and domestic violence order for a year and is currently going to trial with him for charges she has pressed.
He is currently stalking her. Thankfully she moved back home a couple months ago so she can be safe from him.
I am a parent and step parent. My son made a bad decision and married a woman that made his life a living hell. I hated her and the shit she put my son through with her mind games. They were very young, though, and quite frankly, my son played a role-it takes 2 to tango. I’ve put aside my feelings for her and accepted that she is the mother of my granddaughter. I forgive her for her antics of the past and do my best to be a good person.
They are divorced now, but are both active in their daughter’s life-as it should be. We can still roll our eyes at some of the ridiculous and hurtful things my ex-daughter in law says to us, about us, and my son, but it does no good for my son or my granddaughter to react. Without a reaction, she gets nothing from being a bitch and her bitchiness has slowed down. Now, don’t get me started on the narcissist son-in-law. I can’t stand the man, but if my daughter is happy and the grandkids are well cared for and stable, that’s my problem and I suck it up having to be in the same room with the guy and his overblown ego.
My daughter was dating a guy I never met but really disliked from her description of their interactions. (She’s grown and lives in another city.) He would call her late at night and expect her to drive over (never drove across town himself); any time she put her job before him, or went out with girlfriends, he would question her love for him; that sort of thing. The kicker was when she told me he asked her if she’d ever thought about having a “boob job.” And that he would pay for one if she wanted it. That put the tin hat on it as far as I was concerned.
She broke up with him and is now with a really nice guy who treats her well and I’m so thankful.
My son comes home from school one day and asks “hey dad, can I borrow some money?” I immediately ask “what for?” and he gets evasive. It took a little work to get it out of him, but it turns out some girl had come up to him, told him they were dating, and then demanded he buy her presents. If he didn’t, she said, she was going to be mad and hit him.
They were 10 years old.
He and I had a long talk about relationships and ways they could be abusive. He was very relieved to learn that just because a girl says you’re dating doesn’t mean you are. I really feel bad for whatever kind of home life that girl has.
My son’s wife cheated on him just 2 months into their relationship. That put me off her. She has also hit him when they were drinking and apparently has bought cars during their marriage that she refused to put my son’s name on and won’t let him drive.
The lesson here is to keep your relationship stuff to yourself. Tell a friend, tell a therapist, just don’t tell your mom about the bad stuff your significant other has done because some moms will hold grudges against the people that hurt their kids.
I have never met my son’s wife and have no real desire to (so it’s good they live several states away and can’t afford to come here). I see enough on Facebook to know that I don’t want to spend the money to go meet her. She just seems like an unpleasant person and she and my son together are toxic, like water and oil. I only hear stuff from his point of view so I recognize that things could be totally different than what he says.
She lives with us, turns heat really high in their room while she sleeps and gets stoned all day. She pays nothing towards her keep… generally a lovely girl but as dumb as a bag of rocks with NO IDEA about money and costs. Then complains someone used her shower gel/buffing mitt etc… well, you know what this place is like- if you don’t want it used don’t leave it lying about. Oh, and she tumble dries everything…
Lied. Did nothing but lie the entire time they were together. Lied about everything. She lied about being pregnant for the full nine months.
He was in the Army stationed in Kuwait after the Gulf War. He was sent to Germany for medical treatment and while there met this girl. They fell instantly in love. When he returned stateside, he brought her over to the U.S. so they could get married. Supposedly she had a huge trust fund that she would soon be able to access and they lived like they already had the month running up tens of thousands of dollars of debt. They would laugh at how the other soldiers lived paycheck to paycheck. They got married after a couple of months….(paid for my stepson’s Mom and my husband and I). She quickly became “pregnant” and milked it for everything it was worth. She created tons of problems within the family by carrying lies back and forth. They are having problems, but stick together though from this point forward they are continually on the brink of splitting. Fast forward to a month before “the baby” was to be born….my stepson is discharged from the Army and moves close to his mother in Kentucky. His wife decides to stay in Texas with friends until the baby is born. Against her wishes, he flies back to Texas to be there when the baby is born. Well, surprise, surprise…their isn’t a baby. She and her friends laughed in stepson’s face when he showed up at their apartment.