The holidays are a great time to get together with family, sit down around the table, and share some seriously awkward dinner conversation. People on AskReddit shared the most awkward and cringe-worthy dinners they’ve shared with their relatives.
Comments have been edited for clarity. The source can be found at the end of the article.
This was was when I was 5 years-old on a Christmas night. My brother was cooking while my wrathful father was intoxicated and asleep on the couch. My brother made turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, and green beans. When it was time to eat, all seemed well. My brother made a speech about the greatest gift he was ever given and I just watched in amazement. My father then looked at the food and said, “Why don’t you act like normal kids?”
I was confused and my brother looked at him. My father said, “You always force yourselves to be different. No wonder why your mother is gone. She doesn’t want to see our sons like this. The oldest one dyeing his hair white and the youngest being a pathetic weakling!” Our mother passed away when I was a few months old in a accident. My brother and father started screaming and arguing with each other. I felt choked up and went to my room. Around 10 PM, my brother came into our room and brought me dinner. I am just grateful to have my sibling with me.
When I was 11, my mom invited my grandma and my uncle, who was 24 at the time, to our thanksgiving dinner. My uncle drank a lot, and he was intoxicated before dinner was even ready. My younger sister, had no idea, but me and my teen older sister knew. My grandma had a fit, with how my uncle was intoxicated. Next thing you know, the family dinner became a talk between my grandma and uncle about intercourse and gentleman’s clubs. Weirdest dinner of my life.
Only ONCE did my family ever do the “kid’s table” thing for Thanksgiving, and I’m pretty sure that I’M the reason they never did it again. I’m not sure where this “kid’s table” idea even got started or why, but I’d heard of it before because I knew other people who were raised that way. Well, one year it was decided that that’s the way they’d be doing Thanksgiving and that I had no say in the matter.
Which, if I were 10, I’d probably have just learned to live with it and moved on. But that year, I had just turned NINETEEN YEARS OLD. I had my drivers license, a job, and had just voted for the first time in my life. And my older sister, whom for some reason was okay with this, had just gotten ENGAGED! My teenager rationale at the time was that if I was old enough to vote & pay taxes like the other adults, then at least I could eat a meal like one.
I may have had no say in the seating arrangements, but I happily spent the rest of the meal ruining everyone’s morale in between bites of food with my many rants & tangents, and to a room full of people whom I later found out weren’t even invited over to our house that year (they just showed up; they do that a lot, actually.)
If you DO have a “kid’s table” at your house this year, rethink your criteria of what qualifies someone as being a “kid” lest some 19 year old jerk does the same.
One Thanksgiving dinner, when I was a kid at the time, we decided to go to my mom’s friend’s house for the dinner. While at the dinner table, we had to say prayers. And when it was my turn I said, “But Mom, Jesus isn’t real. Do I have to?” I don’t know why I said it, it just slipped out.
The rest of the evening I kept getting stares from my Mother.
It was my family’s yearly Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt’s house. I was about 11 and I was just sitting at the table eating my food,when my cousin started asking questions about what I’d been doing lately. He was asking pretty normal questions, like how school was going and what I did in my spare time. I left the table to get some pumpkin pie, and apparently my kinda innapropriate grandpa had followed me.
I was putting some whipped cream on top of my slice of pie when he then whispered in my ear,”So have you started puberty yet?” I just stood there in shock and confusion. Now you may think that’s something normal for you to ask an 11-year-old kid, but how he said it is what creeped me out. He said it really sexually and flirtatiously. I then speed-walked back to the table, still carrying my slice of pie. I refused to talk to him for the rest of the day. And what made it so awkward was that almost my whole family was in the same room. AND THEY ALL HEARD IT.
About a year ago, I was 16, it was Thanksgiving, and my whole family had planned a great dinner. When it was time to eat, I noticed my aunt seemed to be in pain during prayers. Well, she was pregnant. I asked her if she was okay. She barely managed to say “yes they’re just temporary pains.” But it seemed like the pain continued and because she made strange faces, everybody seemed to notice. Then my aunt let out a scream full of pain and her water broke in her chair… She was taken to the hospital after that!
It was around Christmas when this happened: My family, my older brother’s girlfriend at the time and my grandparents on my dad’s side got dressed real fancy and went to a formal restaurant where everything was lavish. We sit, we order drinks and all is fine – that is, until my little brother wanted help with something. When I reached over to help, my water went all over me and the table in front of me. I’m sitting there horrified and embarrassed, as I was wearing a white shirt so people were able to see my bra. The waitstaff came over to help clean up and I went to the bathroom to try and dry myself. I spent the rest of night very cold and nervous as my bra was still a bit visible.
Once my family was having chicken for dinner and my sister thought it would be a good idea to recreate a meme she saw. When my dad asked her if she liked the food, she replied by saying “It’s great, it’s almost as juicy as my butt.” My mom and dad then yelled at my sister and the rest of the meal was super awkward.
So I was going to my aunt’s house for a big party and when were eating dinner, my mom got a text saying that my great grandpa had died. She passed out and none of us knew what happened. So I went and looked at her phone and was like “ohh nooo.” So the rest of dinner was just silence and teary eyes.
One time at barbecue dinner at my dad’s house, he invited a friend that he kind of knew. The guy went to the bathroom but ended up not coming back, so my dad went to investigate. It turned out he had a heart attack. Needless to say, we didn’t eat much that night.
Once when I was 7, I was having a dinner with my grandparents and my cousins. At the time I doodled the Harry Potter Deathly Hallows symbol over EVERYTHING. So when my parents caught me doodling on my corn with a food marker, they showed my grandparents, who showed my cousins. My cousins cracked up laughing and they hugged me and they screamed and they jumped around. Eventually we had a dance party on the dinner table to Hedwig’s Theme while the adults were asleep.
One time when my mom was cooking spaghetti, she told me that Uncle Jason wanted the spaghetti a certain way. After cooking it, mom ended up arguing with my uncle, saying that he kept switching preferences. Uncle Jason blamed my mom. I was there ready to eat the spaghetti mom was going to put on my plate. I’m still not sure who was on the “correct” side.
OK, so it was our annual before-Christmas dinner. We had turkey and junk, and mom was watching her dumb football games. I was eating in the living room, and when one of the players scored a touchdown from the middle of the field, my mom slammed her plate down on the floor. It shattered so loud my dog ran out of the room, my baby nephew Liam had a temper tantrum, and I was stuck with cleaning up the mess. A few minutes after that happened, we continued eating dinner, but without one word.
When I was 13, we all had to dress properly at Christmas dinner. Like always, when my family arrived, my cousin came in with good behavior, singing Christmas songs and dancing. A few hours later, though, he was drunk as hell and he stood up the table and said “LISTEN PEOPLE THIS IS MY GIFT FOR YOU,”and he pulled down his pants. My mom covered my eyes and it was really awkward in that moment.
It was Thanksgiving and we were all at my Granny’s house. My mom was holding my newest cousin, Adam, who was born a few months ago. My other cousin asked my mom if she was pregnant. Clearly she wasn’t, and my mom said, “no!” and burst out crying and ran out of the room with Adam. Everyone was silent.
This happened on Thanksgiving a year or two ago. Everything was seemingly normal; my grandmother and I were finishing up the food preparations, my dad was waiting patiently, and we were waiting on my uncle to arrive. Knowing he was going to be late (as he always is), we started to eat. I will back this up by saying I’m not that close with this uncle. I really don’t know him that well due to him avoiding my grandfather while he was alive for whatever reason but anyway, he came to dinner and started eating.
Conversation started out normal, “What are you doing after you graduate? You seeing anyone?” type of stuff. Then it got silent and he busts about the time he went to get a vasectomy and they told him that he was sterile and then talked about his bowel movement, all while we were eating. While no one was drinking at dinner, I sure wished the energy drink I had was something alcoholic just so I could forget this ever happened.
When I was 14 I ate lunch at my grandmother’s. This sounds nice, but everything was a total disaster. She brought in homemade mac and cheese, but I was the only one who noticed how suspiciously blue the cheese was. It turns out she used moldy cheese! She took it back to the kitchen and offered to pour me a glass of water. Before she could, I pointed out the dead spider that had drowned in the pitcher! Definitely on of the funniest dinners I’ve ever had.
When i was in 5th grade one night, my family and I decided that it would be nice have a traditional family dinner instead of all of us just taking the food and going elsewhere. Before we were able to even pick up a fork and start eating, we heard a knock on the door, It turned out to be my teacher coming to inform my parents that I was pretty much failing. But she seemed to have smelled that we were eating and invited herself in. Through the rest of the meal, I could not shake the fact that my teacher was eating in my house.
Christmas dinner would be incomplete without a mother-in-law meltdown. It can be triggered by any topic, ranging from the length of my hair, which is really none of her business, to spending too much on Christmas, to her claim that it’s a Pagan holiday. You could probably name it and she’s melted down over it, complete with tears, screaming and an occasional slap. All this is done without the use of drugs or alcohol, although that might be an improvement. Yeah you gotta love the holidays!
I was 10 and my brother was 6. My brother asked where babies come from so for an hour everyone had the sex talk. We had sausages and mash that day. It was awkward because my friend was sitting right next to me the whole time. We never spoke after that day.
I was out having Christmas dinner last year with my girlfriend and her family. After a short chat with her dad about my hopes to find a job as a graphic artist or designer, he suddenly threatened that if I hurt her feelings he’d rip my arm off and beat me with it.
In a moment of nervousness, I accidentally let out a loud fart I was trying to hold in. My girlfriend was mortified, and her brothers were laughing at me. I could’t bring myself to speak after that.
My brother in law makes the worst spaghetti. It’s always tasteless and soggy. Except one day we had no spices so he put meat tenderizer in the spaghetti for flavor. To say it was awful was an understatement. No one wanted to hurt his feelings and tell him just how bad it was so we all ate a little. Finally I pretended to be sick and threw the rest of mine in the trash. Later on my dad and I slipped out of the house and got Chinese.
My aunt got her bathroom repainted by a professional artist when I was 2 or 3, and being very little, I decided to take a pen and draw all over it. Apparently I was yelled at and my parents had to pay for the damage. I have no memory of this but I get reminded every Thanksgiving.
It was Christmas. I invited my boyfriend over for the family dinner. As soon as we sat down, my grandma started asking him personal questions like, “Where’s your mom from?” or “How old are your siblings?” He didn’t even have siblings. After dinner, the family gathered in the living room for a Christmas movie. My mom started asking him weird questions too. It was so awkward, I started sweating. I decided to spend the night at his house to save him from my brothers asking weird questions. If we stayed any longer, it would have been the most awkward family gathering.