Finding out a huge secret about your partner usually leads to a messy breakup, but these twenty-four people learned the worst secret their partner was keeping and kept it to themselves. Their significant other has no idea. Secrecy can go both ways.
The Twisted Family Secret
“My ex-fiancé’s family was always very weird about him being with someone, and very much tried to push me out and keep him to themselves.
His sister and mother were especially strange. At 26, his mother would crawl into bed with him in the morning. And his sister (5 years younger than him) was always clinging to him and sitting on his lap and stuff like that.
I put up with it for several years because his parents weren’t from here and maybe all that behavior is normal in that country.
Then after we got engaged and he wouldn’t move out, I did some snooping while they were all at work.
I don’t particularly want to explain the evidence I found, but I found multiple things confirming a disturbing incestual situation, and that he was totally fine with participating.
I told him I couldn’t take the ‘negligence and emotional turmoil’ he was subjecting me to and gave the ring back without telling him I knew.
I talk to his best friend a lot because we actually knew each other as kids and are close. Not long after I left he also figured it out. Last time I checked, it was still very obviously a thing.”
This Can’t Be Healthy
“He thinks I don’t know that he messed up his university entrance paperwork (didn’t send his student loan application in on time, all that kind of admin stuff).
He’s been going to non-existent lectures for over a month now.
I’d call him out on it but this is the most time he’s spent out of the house in years- It’s nice to have some peace and quiet.”
High School Torment
“My current girlfriend of 3 yrs was part of a group in high school that used to mercilessly bully me for when I was overweight. She was never directly involved but she would make heinous suggestions on what to do with the unpopular kids they would pick on. I am 100% sure she knows who I am and I found out a year ago when I was switching out phones for our new mobile plan.
No red flags are being raised, but every time she goes out I can’t help but think she is doing some sort of long con with her group of friends on me (yes she is still involved with the same group of friends). I want to bring it up, but I know the response will be something similar to, ‘Hey it was a long time ago, I changed.’ I still have confidence issues and social issues accumulated from that group so that answer will be extremely unsatisfying for me- I don’t know what to do.”
No One Keeps A Secret Like Grandma
“So this is slightly different, as it involves a secret my grandmother knew about her husband. My grandmother got remarried when my dad was in middle school, after divorcing my bio grandfather, this was in the late 70’s. Anyway, StepGrandpa (SG) was a ‘cool dad’ for a while, at least up until my dad and his older brother got into college. After that, he started going off the emotional deep end( read: angry and borderline abusive).
For a long time, both SG and grandma were in the same business. My dad and uncle both became attorneys and went to work at what was now the family company. Anyway, many years later, my dad and uncle are no longer working with SG and grandma, and my mother manages most of the company. One day, a business associate quietly pulls my mother aside and says that they saw SG in public with a much younger man. She tells my father and uncle, who do some digging around and find out he had used company funds to buy cars, apartments, etc for multiple 20 something men (he was in his early seventies). They are understandably shocked, and they all go over to my grandma’s house when SG is not there to break it to her.
Her response? ‘Oh yeah, I’ve known that for years.’
She had suspected he was gay before they were married, but nobody talked about that sort of thing at the time or in her family. She knew about the affairs, and she had a public health worker come to her front door to inform her he had HIV and give her a test as well. She declined to tell anyone this for close to fifteen years. He had no idea she knew.
Anyway, they managed to convince her to divorce him, which took ages and ages. So, that’s probably the worst secret that’s ever been kept in my family.”
For The Past Seven Months
“She wants to be a cop and she’s not in good shape. She’s taking Krav Maga to get in shape. She says her goal is to be able to take me in a fight (I’m about a foot taller than her. I’m heavy, but in better shape overall, and have taken a few boxing/kickboxing classes and want to take more). We have never fought physically, but hey, it’s a goal, and it’s not a bad idea to set a goal like that.
She has literally not been to a single one of her 150 dollars a month classes and it’s been seven months. She drives out to the class and sits in the parking lot. I feel bad for her. Really, really bad. I know it’s anxiety. She has a drinking problem and she has literally more than doubled her body weight, from a slim 115 to 255. When she can’t do my gym routine without throwing up, there is no way she’s doing Krav Maga. I want to help her, but she doesn’t acknowledge having any sort of problem.
There’s also knowing that the Z-pak she needed 2 years ago was for chlamydia that I didn’t give her. But I don’t want to think about that too hard.”
Double Family Secrets
“This one takes some backstory. My wife’s sister and my older brother have been good friends forever, way before her and I started dating. About 15 years ago, my brother and his girlfriend got pregnant with a son, who they put up for adoption and my wife’s family ended up taking him. My brother never told anyone in our family about it, made my wife’s family swear to secrecy. I found out after finding a box of paperwork and old pictures a few years ago while helping them move.
My 15-year-old brother-in-law is actually my genetic nephew, and no one knows I know. My wife has never spoken a word about it.”
She Used Him
“That she was actually not on birth control when we met, despite promises and proof to the contrary. She used me purely to get pregnant. I later stumbled across a text exchange between her and her sister that she’d finally found the guy she wanted to give her a baby, based on looks, education, etc but did not want a relationship. She was going to lie about birth control. When it happened I thought her conceiving just put us in the one-percent fail rate.
Now? Seven years later, we’re very happily married with a second amazing child and I don’t think there’s any reason to bring it up if she doesn’t (My bio clock was ticking loudly at the time too).”
“That she slept with my best friend over a dozen times, instead of the one she admitted to because I cornered her with evidence.
Like a jaded cop waiting on his pension, I’ll leave her when the house sells and I get my cut.
I’ll be the picture f—ing perfect fantasy she thinks she deserves, and leave her in her time of need like she did to me.
Revenge is bittersweet, and unfortunately, it’ll be bitter for while, however, one of my favorite quotes (paraphrased): ‘One thing that separates good from evil is evil’s unending patience.’
You reap what you sow.”
“I’m pretty sure that my wife had an abortion when she was in high school, having gotten pregnant by her then-longtime-but-still-kinda-scummy boyfriend.
At the time she was a stellar all-honors student and captain of three varsity sports but was inexplicably dating a tough guy from across the tracks who was continuously having run-ins with the law stemming from assault charges, getting into fights with people who ‘looked at him the wrong way,’ etc.
When we first started dating we were only a couple of years into college, so when we started getting more serious we were sharing stories of the tough times in our lives, she said that during her senior year her younger sister spread a rumor that she was pregnant. In a different quiet moment, she spoke of her late mother, and how she was terrified that she had let her down but didn’t specify how. I didn’t press the matter.
Years upon years later, we’re married and expecting our first child. She told me that as part of the prenatal care she needed to know my blood type for some reason. I used to donate blood to the Red Cross during college but didn’t have a record of my blood type (and neither did my GCP, weirdly). So I ended up going to give a blood donation to see what info they had on file for me. At one point when I explained to them that I needed to know because we were expecting our first, the (male) technician mentioned a whole slew of technical terms finishing by saying, ‘but those would only be concerns if this wasn’t her first pregnancy, so I wouldn’t worry about it.’ My guess is that a female technician probably would’ve had more tact.
A bit of googling, which I will clumsily summarize here: explains that if the expecting mother is ‘sensitized’ from a prior pregnancy, and is ‘Rh negative’ while her partner is ‘Rh positive,’ then the sensitized mother’s body will make antibodies to attack the Rh negative positive fetus as if it’s an intruder that the body needs protection from.
I’ve never pressed her on this, and don’t really see much of a need to. We have two beautiful kids now, a girl and a boy, and she’s an incredible mother. If she had gone through with the pregnancy then she likely wouldn’t have gone on to graduate with honors with a double major from the University of her choice, would’ve had a very different professional career path, and likely would not have met and married me. She made a choice that I am sure was not an easy one and I am sure that it haunted her for a long while (if not still). That child would’ve turned twenty this year, assuming everything went alright. Not sure if the father would’ve still been in the picture, given the path he was on back then, but who’s to say, as I know how much becoming a father can change a person.”
She Gave Herself Away
“My ex, and the cheating. She thinks I found out when I looked at her phone, but I new about two months earlier when she sent me a pic of herself watching Netflix in bed. I don’t think she realized that the dude’s face was 100% visible reflected in the laptop. After that, it was a matter of me being in denial and trying to fix things.”
The Relief On His Face
“My husband is tired of caring for me, tired of the breakdowns my body suffers more and more.
He just wants to make me happy and for me to be healthy, but the biggest fear we have is that my time is running short. I have had lots of typically older age person illnesses and conditions since I was diagnosed with cancer 9 years ago (at 32/33).
Last week I told him that I want him to decide where he can handle living without me – here or another state because I don’t feel like I have more than 10-15 years left. I want him to be somewhere that he can be happy, perhaps find love again and take care of our girls.
The look of relief on his face… Was something that I have never seen before, and I’ll never forget. He’s the other half of me, but I don’t want to be the reason he ages prematurely or is sad. I don’t know how to make it better. I don’t know how to live without my body breaking down or falling apart. I just want him and our beautiful kids to be happy.
So yeah, that unspoken look of relief at me and my physical issues no longer being on him.”
Don’t Leave Your Facebook Up!
“She broke up a marriage after being invited into it by the guy for what was supposed to be a threesome. Turned out the guy was lying and his wife didn’t want a threesome in the slightest. She fell for him though, despite this and she and he had a romantic relationship in secret for months until his wife found out.
She was 21 at the time. We’ve been together for 7 years. I found out when she left her Facebook signed in and curiosity got the better of me and I scrolled through her old messages, a couple of years ago.”
Is This A Felony?
“This is about my ex. He and his ex-wife were legally divorced a few years back according to the state but he never filed the paperwork with the Army. He’s still collecting the ‘married’ pay and she still collects dependent benefits to this day.”
“My wife tells her mother it’s my fault we haven’t started trying for a child yet but really it’s her fault because she won’t stop smoking. I refuse to start trying until she does. I let it continue because I don’t really care if her parents are mad at me. We don’t speak the same language and I don’t mind the odd dirty look when babies are around. Beats them being mad at my wife.
Some background here: My wife is Polish and her parents don’t speak English. My wife’s sister asked me about it when she was visiting but I asked her not to say anything to her parents about it.”
How Well Do You Know Her Friends?
“My ex-girlfriend made up a person and spoke to me as them. We met when we were quite young and were both pretty weird… I put it down to insecurity and wanting to look like she had cool friends (I was a little older). I never let on that I knew because it would have been super embarrassing for her and this was literally the start of the relationship.
She made up quite a few stories about this guy and I got a few emails from ‘him.’ She didn’t realize that changing the name of the account didn’t actually change the address, which was fully visible.”
“She had a fairly large scar on her back and was incredibly self-conscious about it. She wouldn’t even take her shirt off the first time we had relations. When I asked her about it, she said she had fallen from her horse when she was young.
Fast forward a little and I’m out finding her a birthday present and have enlisted the help of her friend. I pick out a suggestive tank top and her friend just looks out me like I’m stupid. Apparently, the scar on her back, which the singlet clearly revealed, wasn’t from a fall, but an abusive ex-boyfriend who had pushed her onto his motorbikes exhaust pipe and burnt her.
We ended on good terms, and I never told her I knew. I hope she is doing well.”
Mother Of The Year
“My significant other moved out a couple months ago because I threw her 22-year-old son out for doing substance deals in front of the house, doing hard stuff at the house and stealing from us. I just found out that she is having her son do crack runs for her.”
Kevin Never Knew
“During a separation from my first husband, I logged into his Facebook and saw he was in a hot and heavy relationship with his old girlfriend.
We were separated because he was physically abusive and mentally ill. He held me hostage with a loaded weapon one night and I got a restraining order on him the next day. He was only held in a mental hospital for a few days and then released. I lived in fear every day for over a year.
I logged into his account because his family was feeding me lies and I needed to know what he was doing with his life because he had a chance at visitation with our son.
I found evidence of substance abuse and dangerous activities that would have made him a danger to our son, who he never saw again. What I wasn’t expecting was seeing him in a serious relationship.
I needed to see that though. It helped me to let go.
Shortly after this, he committed suicide. I was too distraught at his funeral while corralling a two-year-old to even notice if his girlfriend was there. She publicly announced what she lost on Facebook and I was shunned by his friends and family.
He tried to kill me and I was blamed for his suicide and some people made their opinion about me known at the funeral
I don’t think Kevin ever knew I found out about his girlfriend. Maybe in the afterlife now he knows?”
This Is Heartbreaking
“Her lupus is getting much worse, much more quickly than she had expected and she has maybe ten, fifteen years left before her kidneys or lungs or heart fail. Apparently, there’s a ton of scar tissue forming already even though she was diagnosed two weeks ago. She’s gained about twenty pounds from water retention (for a slim, petite little thing it’s almost a fifth of her weight) and her legs have swollen so much that she can’t bend her knees or walk without intense pain.
The worst part is that she always smiles when I come visit her and asks if I want to go hiking or play tennis (my favorite things). All I tell her is that I’m tired and I’d like to read comic books with her or put on Netflix (her favorites) and lay in bed.”
Death Kept Secret
“Even though we had been married for 25 years, my wife and I always invented stupid private jokes between each other. I was lamenting the fact that we had fostered a Siamese cat from an adoption group, that eventually got adopted, and I really missed her. At one point, we were looking through the website of the local pound, and a Siamese came up named ‘Montague.’
The photo that they took of Montague was epic. A classic Applehead Siamese, he was neutered, about five years old, and had horribly crossed eyes. Whoever took the photograph of him made him look both proud, distinguished, and adorably insane. Like some crazy dude that comes into the bar as a regular and claims he’s the emperor of the United States of America, and everybody buys him around because even though he is clearly crazy, he is also very charming. We started making up all the stories about Montague in a spoof of ‘The world’s most interesting man.’ Week after week, we checked to see if he had been adopted, but nobody wanted a crazy looking cross-eyed Siamese cat. Everyone at the pound said he was affectionate and had been there for quite some time.
Sadly, this would be our last private joke together. My wife, who had a terminal illness, suddenly gotten much worse and passed away rather rapidly. We thought we had more time together, but she had sarcoidosis, and her lungs had already been weakened by repeated pneumonia when she got the flu. Because she was on immunosuppressants for her condition, this is what did her in, she went into a coma and died a week later.
My sister helped me with the funeral and taking care of a lot of things, including contacting everyone in her phone contacts on her cell phone. She asked me about why the Alexandria pound would be trying to contact my late wife via voicemail. Apparently, my wife had applied to adopt Montague as a surprise gift. She paid the adoption fee and had scheduled a visit to adopt him. But she died before the appointment date.
Sadly, my wife put it in her name only, and the people at the pound were pretty rude about it. Like to adopt Montague I’d have to pay ANOTHER adoption fee, and they were made that she didn’t show up, and at the time it was chaos I couldn’t deal with. My sister gave them an earful and they told her to go to hell.
That ended that.
I hope Montague eventually found a loving family.”
This Is Divorce Worthy
“My wife dropped my iPhone in a Port-A-Potty toilet. Luckily it has been so used there was a large pile of s— which gently held the phone above the liquid. She cleaned it off and gave it back to me. A year later I upgraded and gave her my old phone.
She insisted on purchasing a new cover even though I had a high-end OtterBox. I never understood why until one of the kids told on her.”
When She Left The Room
“When we were in the hospital for some weird pain that I had, uninsured, and the doctors thought it might be cancer, I lost it a bit. She was so brave for me.
But her mother called, she went into the bathroom to talk but she didn’t know that the sound echoed pretty loudly into the room. I heard her break down, sobbing, telling her mom she didn’t know how we were going to pay for treatment and that it looked really bad. I’ll never tell her I heard her, but god it was heartbreaking.
When she came out you wouldn’t even know she was even upset, she hid it so well. She sat right down and told me everything was going to be fine with such determination and such certainty. Literally took out her computer then and there and started making a spreadsheet of our finances to fit in cancer. I knew how much she loved me in that moment and how important it was for her that she was brave for me. I don’t know why but I got so calm after that, I haven’t broken down like that since, even with worse news. I guess she makes me strong… god, I love her.”
Fear And Sadness
“I opened the glove box of my husband’s car (he knew I was driving it) looking for some spare sunglasses and found a referral written by his go to a psychiatrist mentioning a suicide plan my husband had made. He is being treated for depression and I was the one who had pushed him to that GP visit because I knew he wasn’t doing as well as he had been. Still, it came as a huge shock. I feel so sick and sad about it. The GP encouraged him to share with me, but he hasn’t. I’ve tried to initiate discussions where the subject might come up (I have a history of depression and have made attempts in the past 10+ years ago). But, no, he tells me, he has never thought of doing anything like that.
We have very young children and he is very much loved by me and them.
He is doing better a few weeks later, has made some positive life changes but still, that fear and the sadness makes it hard to let him out of my sight every day.”
“Well, I don’t know the truth for certain but I will soon and can feel it in my gut.
When we first started dating she pulled out the L-word really quickly. I told her that I could see us going places, but to please be careful with laying on the ‘I love you’s’ too heavy because I’ve been betrayed, abused, gaslit, cheated on and thrown away by the former love of my life after 7 years of supporting her through school. One more heartbreak and I am going to harm myself.
Apparently, this wasn’t acceptable and she decided to go get s—housed with her trashiest friends at a frat house. She was violated. I offered to pay some less than scrupulous friends of mine to ‘take care’ of the offending parties, but she ‘didn’t want to hurt anybody.’
Our son was just born. She ‘forgot’ to take her birth control. He looks nothing like me, like not even close. The timeline matches perfectly. Not two weeks after he was born she told me she’s filing child support, yet still wants to be with me, live together and claims to love me as much as ever.
I’m currently trying to figure out how to pull off a paternity test without the mother’s consent, Also strongly considering a nice dinner of lead and gunpowder- I’m truly lost.”
Wow, This One Is Just Crazy
“My significant other and I have never actually been properly intimate. We have been together for over a decade. He uses an adult toy. I always thought he was just terrible in bed, but I don’t have a high libido so didn’t really bother me. He always made excuses to avoid me going down on him, and to this day has never been fully naked in my presence unless there was no light at all….literally have to have blackout curtains. I have come to the conclusion he is a well below average size, based on me finding the toy.
It appears to have been modified to allow him to squeeze his junk into the base of it. It looks like it must be incredibly uncomfortable. The cut-out portion is about the size of a lipstick tube. I don’t know where he keeps the toy anymore, but he is really not subtle about being in bed with me, no mention of intimacy, then heads downstairs for a minute, and all of a sudden ‘raging hard-on’ attached and wants to jump straight to penetration with no foreplay. It is painful to me that he would keep this secret for so long, and I really wouldn’t even have the first clue how to bring it up to him. Financially I cannot afford to leave him, and so I just ignore it and try and avoid him sticking that thing in me…I don’t know where it is and so don’t even know if it is being cleaned at all.”