I Know People Change, But This Is Ridiculous
“I had a friend who was also our neighbor growing up. We were friends in elementary school.
Once middle school started and we had other kids from other schools, she distanced herself, and I was too dumb to understand. Fast forward to sixth grade, and she and her new friends had about 20 of our peers – boys and girls – write me notes and put it in my locker. They said various things like: ‘We hate you,’ ‘You’re fat,’ ‘You’re ugly,’ ‘Why don’t you die?’ ‘Go do us a favor and kill yourself,’ ‘You are a disgusting loser who needs to die,’ ‘We wish you would just kill yourself so we don’t need to see your fat face,’ and other stuff like that.
It really messed me up inside. And she and her group of girls would whisper and laugh. I did not know what to do with the notes. My mom found them in my backpack. She taught at high school, so she wanted to go to the principal, but I begged her not to.
Needless to say, the rest of my school years were horrible. I hated going to school for the last six years until I graduated. It still messes me up and I had like no self-esteem, or trust still with people. I have wanted to kill myself many times.
In one positive way, I have always rooted for any underdog, helped anyone who was being bullied and fought for anyone who was treated differently. Because I know how evil people can be. And I know how schools are not safe.”
She Basically Caused His Heart Attack, But SHE Was The Victim
“My friend, Sean, had lost his apartment and was living with another friend, Mary. Mary and Sean were shopping for a new apartment together and Mary kept insisting that Sean was ‘going to swindle her’ by moving in with me. We both assured her this wouldn’t happen. Weeks passed and they found a good apartment. Sean put down a deposit.
About a week later, Sean drove down to meet the landlord, got the keys and confirmed their move-in date. The landlord was confused because Mary had called and canceled everything without informing anyone.
It turns out that Mary was so paranoid that Sean would pull a fast one on her over in the housing situation, that she preemptively duped him. She found herself a studio apartment and stopped communicating with Sean. When Sean and I confronted her, she made herself out to be the victim.
So Mary moved out into her studio and Sean had nowhere to live (I lived with my father, and he wouldn’t allow anyone else to move in). Sean had to live out of his car in a parking garage.
One frigid November night, while Sean was still living out of his car, he had a heart attack. He was able to get himself to the hospital in time, but technically speaking, he died on the table. They got him back. He called me. I spent a few days at the hospital with him. Meanwhile, Mary was calling, but not to ask about Sean’s well being. She just wanted me to know that SHE was the victim.
My friend had a heart attack in a cold parking garage because you conned him out of getting an apartment, and now all you care about is telling me how everything is unfair FOR YOU?!
We both stopped talking to Mary after that one. We still see her around, but we just walk the other way.”
Way To Cheapen A Decade Of Friendship
“We knew each other since we were 15. We were besties.
He lived with my parents and me for a year because his parents kicked him out for not being Christian. I watched his cats while he was deployed. He lived with my fiance and me for a half a year after his deployment.
He was there when I turned 21 and made sure I had a safe and sober ride home, and who I made a promise that he wouldn’t let me stay the night at this guy’s house.
Stood with me as a bridesman when I got married.
My (now ex) husband enlisted and left for basic training. Mr. Bestie, from whom there had NEVER been any talk or interest or action with/from, tried to sleep with me while I was wasted on the beach. He backed off when I said so, but a few minutes later asked me ‘for one more kiss’ because he’d ‘always wanted this.’
So not only did that massively cheapen our friendship of 10 years because he never really wanted or was content with something platonic, he tried to take advantage of me and purposely pushed for more, he didn’t respect my marriage, and he didn’t respect a fellow soldier.”
The Lies Will Get You Every Time
“I used to have a best friend, Kay. We’d been best friends since high school and bonded on the fact that we were the outcasts at the youth group our parents made us go to. We were inseparable and got each other through a lot of tough times.
We remained pretty close until I got pregnant when I was 24. It was unplanned and with someone I had only been dating for a few months. I was upset and terrified, but she was so supportive.
But then Kay started acting different. She would always make plans to visit me or meet up somewhere and then ghost me, only to resurface a week later like nothing happened. Then she started posting pictures of me with my most recent ex-boyfriend saying things like, ‘I miss these times!’ Mind you, some were of us kissing and my current boyfriend/father of my unborn child was not at all pleased and wanted no part of it.
She didn’t come to my baby shower. That morning, she asked what time it started and I told her it started at 4 pm, and she said, ‘I will be there! I can’t wait!’ At 6, she once again asked what time it started. I told her it started at 4 but was still going on. At 8, after the shower was long over and we were home, she said, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t make it. I am so sick today. I can’t even get out of bed.’
She told me this as I was on her Facebook seeing all the pictures she was tagged in with some guy I’d never heard of saying how great of a day she had with him. I hate being lied to, but I never bothered talking to her again or wasting my time with an answer. I was just done with her.
We have a lot of mutual family friends, so naturally, at family events, I’ll see her cousins or aunts. I started to notice that they were acting weird around me. They always stared and kept their belongings close when I was near. I just rolled my eyes while I wondered what stories she was telling about me.
Then Kay’s boyfriend, who I never met nor heard of, found me on Facebook to vent about his cheating girlfriend because, lo and behold, she told everyone I was her best friend and he needed advice. I lost it when he said, ‘I’m glad you got clean and got your life back together.’ Clean from what? Junk! I’ve never touched nor been addicted to that junk or anything else!
Then she, out of the blue, made a Facebook post, tagging my name, saying, ‘I’m so sorry you can’t get your addiction under control! That’s why I can’t be around you anymore.’
I lost my mind on her. Then my mom flipped out on her too. Luckily everybody that matters wasn’t stupid enough to believe her.
It just hurt and baffled me that my best friend of 10 years spread such lies about me for no logical reason. It STILL hurts four years later.”
No One Was There When She Needed Them The Most
“My best friend and I went to a party once with another friend.
We were pretty wasted (we were walking, not driving back home), when all of the sudden, a group of guys began trying to dance with me.
At first, it seemed innocent and kind of fun, so I smiled and one of them twirled me, but then they surrounded me and even as wasted as I was, I became uncomfortable.
I looked around for my friend to see if she would help but she just stared at me. One of the guys grabbed my butt and shortly afterward, I managed to get out and walk to another section of the building. I was crying because, well obviously, I was scared, wasted, and felt violated. That’s when my friend found me. She sat down and asked if I was ok, and I explained what had happened. In response, she said, ‘They shouldn’t have done that, but it didn’t really seem like you were trying too hard to get away.’
She was usually really good about not victim blaming/being a feminist, so I was shocked and hurt by what she said. It was a few years ago and I never said anything to her about it because I wanted to forget the whole thing. We’re still friends, but every once in a while I think about it and still can’t believe she responded that way.”
Tweens Can Be Outright Awful
“In eighth grade, my two best friends who I grew up with decided to hate me. I don’t recall doing anything horrible to them to make them be so cruel to me, but they gave me the worst nickname.
I asked one of them once to show me how to use a tampon, (my mom passed away when I was young) and she showed me hers and I showed her mine.
According to her, I was big down there and had ‘enormous flaps.’ Pretty soon, the whole school was calling me ‘Flapper,’ and I had to sit at the loser table at lunch. I was threatened by girls and guys, and had to get my dad to drive me to school so I could avoid the bus. It was awful.
Freshman year, I made new friends, and everyone eventually forgot about the nickname. It still hurts me whenever I think about it.”
You Never Really Know Someone
“She stole from me. I had some heavy duty pain pills after having been laid up with a back injury. One day after she had come over to help me out with the kids, the pills went missing. I asked if she’d seen them and she said no. I was panicking in case the kids somehow had them, hidden them, taken them even though I kept them well out of reach in a high cupboard.
I had to go to her house while she was out a week later to pick up some books she had borrowed. She wasn’t in but her son let me in. I saw the empty box as I was leaving, with my name on the prescription sticker.
To this day, I still don’t get it. I have never known her to be a user or that she would be in any pain to need the pills.
My doctor was suspicious when I had to go back and ask for more as I explained I’d lost them. Maybe he thought I was using them recreationally, that hurt more than anything. I was mortified.”
A Fun Camping Trip Ended With A Broken Friendship
“My friend was dating a girl who I could tell just didn’t like me, but at least we were civil to one another, until a camping trip one holiday weekend.
She was adamant about keeping our drinks separate, that was fine. I had my hard stuff, they had their jazzed up lemonade. Then I got up early on the first morning and made pancakes for everyone. When the campers rolled out of their tents to the smell of apple cinnamon pancakes and campfire coffee, she was the only one to flip out. I’d gone into HER cooler and used HER margarine. My buddy just looked pained and tried to keep the peace as I tossed her two dollars and apologized. Her reaction was to grab a lock from his gym bag and lock ‘their tent’ with ‘their food.’
Later, he came to me and asked if he could borrow the car so that they could run into town, get some rubbers and have some words about being a bit easier with the other campers. I said ok and handed him the keys. When they returned hours later, the tank was empty and the field kitchen was missing from the back of the station wagon. We searched the camp, nothing. It was my dad’s and had been handed down in the family for generations.
I drove off to fill the tank and buy a new tub of margarine and was halfway down the country road when I saw the kit on the side of the road, smashed in the ditch. There were marks along the back panels beside the flattened down seats where one of them had clearly pushed it out the back of the moving car.
After piling it all, stunned, piece by piece back into the wagon, I gassed up and drove back, then packed up. Not a word was said by anyone until I tore up the camping permit and peeled out with their shouts behind me in the dust.
Never spoke to either one of them again.”
She Would Rather Be Homeless Than Stay With Him
“I moved in with a friend a few years ago after I tried to kill myself.
This was long before a depression, anxiety, and PTSD diagnosis came about. He found out and told me to move in with him to start over. I sold what I owned and went cross country and lived with him.
Within days, he was physically and emotionally abusing me. I put up with it for a year before I tried to kill myself again. I was stopped by someone else and disappeared for a couple days as I was in the hospital. When I came back, the first thing he said was that I didn’t turn off the light in the bathroom and he should kick me out. He didn’t care where I was. A couple of months later, he threatened to make me homeless again, so I did it to myself. I packed up everything and walked away. I’m still dumpster diving for scraps of food to eat. Still have to find shelter when I can. But at least I’m not dealing with him anymore.
However… There are days, like today, where I regret what I did. I miss him and I love him. Moments like now when I’m sitting on the ground near a dumpster, getting ready to look for food in other people’s trash, that I wonder if I made the right decision.”
Her “Friend” Hit Her Where It Really Hurt
“We moved in together. That was my first mistake. She was the biggest slob on the planet. Never cleaned once. Then she got a dog that wasn’t house trained and was too lazy to get up and let him out, so the dog ruined the carpet. The whole place stunk. I had a 2-year-old kid at the time and had multiple talks with the roommate about how I couldn’t raise a kid in this disgusting environment. Finally, she told me to just move out. I paid her a full month’s rent for the following month when moving out as well as the fee for breaking the lease early.
The new place I moved into had a malfunctioning water heater (to make a long story short), and a week after I moved in, my kid got badly burned by the water heater. While in the hospital with my kid, I called my friend and cried because I needed someone to talk to. After I hung up with her, she called CPS on me and told them that my kid was abused and should be taken from me. Mutual friends of ours confirmed that she was bragging she had done it at work the next day.
CPS temporarily took my kid away and put her in foster care. My child and I had to go through extensive psychological and intelligence tests as well as parenting classes and therapy. They concluded that the charges were unfounded and finally returned custody of my kid back to me. It took seven months to get her back.”
That’s Like Stealing Money From Someone’s Wallet
“My best friend, who works in retail, always wanted to be a photographer like me. I wanted to help her achieve that dream, so I gave her a laptop with editing software on it, helped her pick out a camera, and taught her how to use all of it. She rarely took any of it seriously, but the times she had photoshoots, she would borrow my equipment and ask me to tag along and help her out.
She even had me edit photos for her. I did this all for free since she was my ‘best friend.’ I later found out that those photoshoots I helped her with were for clients who had asked her for my contact information because they wanted me as their photographer.
What really chaps my rear is she was always telling me not to let people take advantage of me, saying I should learn to put my foot down, yet she continued to take advantage of me like this.”
It Still Hurts After All These Years
“When I was 12, I met my best friend. I was always the class nerd and hadn’t really learned how to connect with people yet. He was more outgoing, friendly. Definitely had his own set of problems, but he always had a way of putting things into perspective that I admired. When we started high school a few years later, I met a girl. To the high school me, this girl was perfect. Pretty, smart, ambitious….basically everything that I find attractive in a girl. I actually told her pretty early on that I was interested in her and she politely told me she didn’t feel the same way.
Pretty much, throughout high school, I kept my crush on this girl and did everything I could to break out of the friend zone. My best friend knew how much I liked her and was supportive (or at least as supportive as possible for something like that). Well, fast forward to the end of high school and….my best friend started dating this particular girl. I was crushed. Like I said, neither of them did anything wrong, but I felt betrayed just the same. Ultimately, I went on to college and I more or less reduced contact with both of them because I just couldn’t handle them being together. He even lost his v-card to her which, thankfully, I found out years after the fact.
They dated for two years before breaking up. I’m still friends with the guy and he was the best man at my wedding so clearly no bad blood, but it was difficult to get over. I don’t really speak to the girl anymore. In some weird twist of fate, she expressed interest in me long after they broke up and I (with my friend’s blessing, since he already had a new girlfriend) began dating the girl. It went pretty poorly pretty quickly, and we really no longer speak except the occasional Facebook comment.
So yeah…those were some tough times. Felt very betrayed by the whole thing.”
All It Takes Is One Big Mouth To Ruin A Chance At Friendship And Romance
“Tom had been my friend for a long time. We bonded over our mutual love/hate for his ex-girlfriend, who was eventually my ex-girlfriend as well.
Fast forward a bit, I was hooking up with someone. I was really into this girl, but she was moving in a couple of weeks, and I knew that long distance wouldn’t work.
A year later, she moved back, finished with school, and decided to stay with her dad for a bit and save some money. The old gang got back together. Hot tubs and drinks on weekends. Tom joined in.
One night, it was just her, Tom, and me chilling out. One other friend had gone home and we all had plans to get together for dinner the next evening. I was cooking.
The topic of romance came up, and we were pretty open people. Still, I was into this girl and she was hooking up with someone else, so the subject was a little sore for me.
‘So are you going to sleep with her?’ Tom shouted. ‘Are ya? You going to sleep with her?’
‘If you’re not going to sleep with her, then maybe I will.’
I saw red. She was my friend, too, not just an object of romantic desire. A little boys’ club talk in private is one thing, but she was right there.
‘What, you’ve got nothing to say?’ Tom asked.
I smiled tightly. In response, I said, ‘Sometimes silence is a warning. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ We made a hasty retreat because the night just got weird. I drove home.
The next day, I texted people to see when I should expect them for dinner. The friend who left early canceled on me. The girl I liked canceled and told me how uncomfortable Tom made her, that she wasn’t a piece of meat to be fought over. I agreed and apologized for what happened.
I don’t mention any of this to Tom. He arrived for dinner and asked if anyone was coming.
‘They are not coming, Tom. Just you and me.’
I made him dinner. We talked. In short, I told him that this was the straw that crushed the camel. I don’t know what his intent was, but he had a history of pushing my buttons, and suddenly I was in a realm of abject paranoia, all because of him. And it had happened before. I don’t like going back to that headspace.
He made a half-hearted apology. He finished my bottle of red. He expressed regret over the end of our friendship and over his ousting from that entire social group. Word spread quickly. I don’t understand how Tom could not understand the consequences of his actions, but it turns out everyone was done with him.
He drove home. I hoped that he would get in a wreck and die, but he didn’t. I struggled with the expected homicidal rage and the complete dissolution of trust that, by now, I knew to expect. This was an episode. This was going to get bad. I spent two weeks in a state of slowly declining, quivering anger. I hate feeling like this.
Tom might not be a bad guy, but I don’t care. It’s not the first time he’s driven me to ‘That Place,’ but it was absolutely the last. The girl and I don’t talk anymore, and that saddens me. She’s a cool person. I’m sorry.”
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