No More Flowers, Ever!
“Instead of accepting his marriage proposal, I dumped a guy because he sent me flowers. I’ll call myself Lauren and my ex Billy in this story.
Here are a few critical facts: First, I was seeing a man who was very in love and could be intense. Second, at work, I’m very private and don’t discuss my personal life much. Last, I’m a woman who hates cut flowers. I love the look of cut flowers but I hate how wasteful they seem. They look wilted really quickly, they make a mess, and they’re a pain to clean up after. I don’t like receiving flowers. It’s a quirk.
My boyfriend decided to propose by sending me 4 dozen roses to my office. Along with another 2 dozen purple roses that were in individual vases. The card attached to the vases read, Tell Lauren to say yes. The florist had been instructed to give a purple rose to all of my female coworkers.
While I appreciated all of his efforts, this was extremely uncomfortable for me. It led to a conversation where I realized just how little he really knew me. He wanted to get engaged or nothing, so I chose to break up.
I felt awful about it and questioned my decision. That is, until a week later, when he repeated the flower delivery but this time the card to my coworkers read, Tell Lauren to give Billy another chance.
The worst part was what happened afterward: one of my coworkers adores flowers and thought I was too hasty with The Rose Romeo. She slipped him a note indicating her desire to pollinate and he locked her down by calling his new florist friend and asking for an encore. ‘Garçon, another round for my ladies at the IT office!’“
“This is probably one of my more shameful moments. Initially, my intentions were good, but temptation led me astray.
This was at a club about a year ago, I was with there with some of my friends. One of my best friend’s was sitting and talking with someone I knew he had a crush on, so being absolutely wasted I decided he needed a wingman. Rather than sit next to them like a normal person, I decided to sit right on the girl’s lap, with my feet on my friend’s lap (the girl and I were friendly so it wasn’t too weird).
I started telling her about how good of a guy he was, and when it was clear she wasn’t interested, I turned to him. For some reason, I started telling him how to approach this girl, but that also came with a demonstration. So, in the end, I sat on her lap making out with her while simultaneously resting my feet on my friend, which made it quite awkward for him.
Thank God he’s a stand-up guy and understood that I would not normally do something like this. We are still friends to this day.”
“One unforgivable moment happened when I was dog sitting for a co-worker/friend in my early 20’s. His dog, a Shibu Inu, was notorious for running away. At the time I lived with many people and made sure they were all aware of this so they’d be conscious of closing the front and back doors immediately after leaving. Despite this, one roommate left the front door open while running outside for some reason. The dog escaped into the busy streets of San Francisco, specifically a block from Park Presidio, which is equivalent to a highway at times. Bordered by forest on both sides, we assumed the dog was running through the trees, way too close to speeding cars. I was panicked as I have had pets that have been hit by cars, I know the likelihood of it, and was sure it could happen.
My whole house flooded out and ran to search for the dog, luckily we were right about him being in the forest that lines the highway, and was able to corner and catch him. He was returned safely home. I was relieved yet really annoyed about the stress that caused me. Here is where things get weird. A roommate that missed the whole chase returned home with his iPad, showing us a picture of a coyote that was dead on the side of that same street, Park Presidio. He had taken it that same day. On its side, it looked exactly like this Shibu Inu. I sent the photo to the dog owner, with no context. I regret this full heartedly, and am so ashamed that I had this dark compulsion, but, so it goes. He called me immediately, AND I KEPT UP THE LIE. Tell him that, yep, that’s his dog, and yep, he’s dead. After he obviously became overwhelmed with this idea, I tell him the truth, but the damage was done. Only a day later or so, I realize how incredibly psychotic that was, and try to patch things up. We continue to work together, and remain friends, but it has always stayed with me as a ‘Why the heck would I ever do something like that, what is wrong with me, who am I, etc.’ I thought it was funny at the time, and I still don’t know why I did it.”
“I suspected my wife of cheating and had the feeling for some time. So when she received a late night text, while she was sleeping, I decided I needed to check her phone.
The text was from a known friend and was typical. So, no big deal, but I chose to scan through the previous ones just to… I guess to see if there was anything. I wasn’t opening them, just skimming to see if there were any obvious signs.
Not too far in, I found a number I didn’t recognize and didn’t have any name attached. There were all these romantic texts saying things like we never had enough time and stuff like that. I was upset and couldn’t decide if I should wake her or confront her the next day after having thought things over.
About an hour or so later, I heard her get up to use the bathroom, so without giving it much thought, I went to her. After a little small talk, I asked her who the heck the number was. She paused and stared at me, and it was then I had my answer.
I told her about the texts I found and repeated some of them. I explained why I was going through her phone. And she laughed at me.
She said they were song lyrics she had sent to herself to look up later (this was pre-smartphone) and that I’m stupid for not knowing my own wife’s phone number. I pulled my phone out and, sure enough, hers was the number I had found. I was, indeed, extremely dumb. And now a snooping monster.
She kept her phone locked after that and we happily divorced soon after. There were plenty of issues, and my suspicion remained. Honestly, we just married far too young and were done at that point.”
Why Don’t You Care?
“In the months before I left for university for the first time, I became a real princess. I kept asking my mom when we were going to be going shopping for all my college stuff, and she kept putting it off. I decided that this meant no one cared that I was leaving, and was extremely sulky about it. Then during a fight, I threw it in my mom’s face some mean comment about how no one was paying enough attention to me.
It turns out my whole family was planning me a big surprise party, where I would get a bunch of my school stuff given to me as gifts, including pots, pans, kitchen stuff, bathroom stuff, etc. The reason everyone was avoiding the subject of me leaving was so the surprise didn’t get ruined. I felt awful, and I still feel crappy looking back at that moment.
My mom, luckily, is an amazing human and realized how incredibly awful I felt- so she promised not to tell anyone that I knew, and said we could pretend it was still a surprise. I think I just should have known better. Knowing my family, that they wouldn’t have forgotten about it. I feel like the benefit of the doubt is important in these situations, and I let my emotions get away from me.
It was a great party and I love my family.”
“So in high school, I had a really close-knit group of friends. One of the other girls who we’ll call Kate and I were really close for about two years. During the summer before my senior year of high school, Kate told me at a friend’s party that she was gay and had feelings for me. I’m straight so I turned her down.
This wasn’t something that Kate was very happy to accept. She told the two other girls in our friend group that she had told me she was gay and that I basically hadn’t accepted her and now didn’t want to be around her anymore. While Kate didn’t come out to anyone else, the three basically convinced my entire high school drama club (which we were all really involved in, irony I know) that I was basically lying, intolerant, scum and no one talked to me for the majority of senior year starting around October or so when the drama really started. That is until I completed my incredibly drawn out and twisted revenge plan.
First, we’ll start with what I did to the girl that led the crusade. We’ll call her Lena. I had nearly all of my classes with this girl and we had been applying for college at the same time. Lena told me that she was excited to apply for Oberlin College and would be hearing back soon. They had kept up this bizarre pseudo-friendship with me for a while so I knew when Lena got denied early from the school. Except she told everyone that she hadn’t been denied, but that her family was unable to afford it. For her, I got a bunch of teachers together to help her get scholarships so that she could afford to go to her dream school. She had to admit to each and every one of them that she had actually been denied.
The next one, we’ll call her Becky, who didn’t do anything terrible other than sort of go along with it and egged them on occasionally. I got a little worse with her because it was so easy. This was a surprisingly toxic friend group when it started to fall apart, but for some reason, none of them realized that I have a very good memory and one time during a sleepover, they had talked about their Facebook passwords. I took screenshots of Lena and Kate’s conversations about Becky and would hide them in a folder in Becky’s email because Becky used the same password for both. I let these amass for months until I started in on my final part for Kate.
I stayed absolutely silent until late March of senior year on why Kate and I had suddenly stopped being best friends. I knew that people wouldn’t want to listen to me and that it wasn’t worth creating a prolonged fight over. But with time, some people were talking to me again and Kate wasn’t the victim she had been months ago. So I started it then. Kate still hadn’t told anyone (except Lena and Becky) the real reason we weren’t as close. So instead of being the person who would tell everyone, I found a way to make her do it instead.
We had this friend who literally could not keep a secret if you paid him to and he didn’t care about that at all. It was a point of personal pride almost. I didn’t tell him directly because that would be really low, but at the time I convinced myself that this was better. I told him that if he wanted to see something funny that he should tell Kate that he knew what happened at that one summer graduation party. I didn’t give him any details, didn’t say anything at all, and didn’t tell him that it had anything to do with us not talking.
The next week Kate went around asking people if they had heard the awful rumor I was spreading about her. I had multiple people come and ask me if it was true. I would only ever reply, ‘Where did you hear it from?’ Until they all realized that she had said it herself. I hadn’t said a word but now everyone knew why she had suddenly fallen really hard out of love.
When even Becky and Lena start wondering if the story she told them is true they stick with her initially. Which is when I send an email from to Becky (from herself) to check the spam folder of her account and search for messages titled ‘Facebook Thoughts.’
To my knowledge, the girls don’t talk that much anymore.”
Not A Joke
“So I was at work, and a few of my coworkers and I were conversing about past relationships. One of my friends in the group made a jab (seemingly out of nowhere) about the fact that I hadn’t dated anyone in a few years. To my ears, it was clearly aimed at embarrassing me in front of another of our coworkers who I was actively pursuing, so I reacted by saying something along the lines of, ‘At least I know every relationship I’ve had has been genuine and not just pretending to care long enough to get laid a few times.’
My friend broke down crying immediately and had to be sent home early for being hysterical. I learned a few days later from another coworker who was friends with her that what I said (the part about pretending to care at least) was nearly identical to how her last boyfriend had broken up with her. I also learned that she made that jab in the first place as a way of hinting that she was interested in me because she had been trying to get my attention and I was too daft to realize it.
She turned in her two weeks notice a few weeks after that, and I was only able to speak to her long enough to apologize. She said she was leaving to start nursing school, partly because of what I said, which made her realize that she needed to work on herself instead of dating someone. So even though I still don’t think I reacted the right way, she seems to be happier not working fast food anymore.
Anyway, that’s the moment I looked at myself and saw myself as terrible comparable only to my father, and I’ve since put major effort into not insulting people like that, especially if they aren’t a close enough friend who would know whether or not I was joking.”
“My boyfriend cheated on me and broke my heart. His best friend told me he planned on proposing at his family reunion. He had a very elaborate proposal planned out, it cost him quite a bit of money, and I knew all of his family would be there.
We were talking about marriage and he said he wanted to tell me something. His friend already told me he was planning on proposing, so I thought we were just solidifying our feelings of wanting to get married. It turned out he wanted to clear his conscience but still go through with marrying me. So I faked it until the day he was going to propose then broke it off.
I played along like everything was fine with our relationship and then texted him that we were over an hour before the reunion.
I have no regrets.
At the time, I thought I was a terrible person but now I feel justified! I didn’t have to humiliate him and that’s why I felt bad for a long time. The only people who probably see me as in the wrong for this are probably my ex-boyfriend and his family.”
Sorry, Too Late
“There was this girl who I had a lot of friction with, I knew she liked me too, but I was not ready to be in a committed relationship or anything serious. I asked her if she wants to be in a casual relationship/friends with benefits situation. Initially, she thought I was kidding and trying to joke around, but after convincing her that I was serious she said that she has never been in one and would like to take her time to think and analyze it. She told me that she’ll make a decision and tell me.
Two months passed by, and there wasn’t a single text from her and I met a girl unexpectedly and she was the most amazing person in the world. It was like it was meant to be, sparks flying and all that kind of stuff. We started dating and this girl whom I had asked to be in a casual relationship with me texts me out of the blue. Now, it was not just a short ‘Heyy’ or ‘Sorry, I took a while.’ It was a full blown essay with almost 25 lines, saying she had thought it through and through and how hard it was for her to make a decision because she’s not that kind of a girl and we needed to make some rules about it if we were going to do that. As I read that essay word by word, I started to feel worse and worse because I would have to tell her that I wasn’t up for it anymore because I met someone.
I made her think on this decision for two months without any outcome. It personally made me feel terrible when I finally told her that, ‘She was too late in making that decision and I have met someone really amazing and am in a relationship.’ Mainly because she would think that she was not someone worth being in a committed relationship with.”
“When my sister and I were six or so (we are twins, so the rivalry was built in), I told her the nearby park was haunted and that the ghosts in there were calling her name. I also told her our home was haunted and that you could hear the blood dripping at night from the ceiling fan. That one was my dad’s idea, but it was still pretty mean of me.
I basically took any opportunity I had to scare my sister when we were young, so she was always expecting some supernatural prank from me or another family member. I took it too far and sometimes left the faucet on in the kitchen, so it dripped.
Fourteen years later, my sister is terrified of the paranormal and will remove herself from any situation she thinks could lead to ghostly interaction. I don’t believe in ghosts, so I asked her why. She told me about the childhood pranks I had all but forgotten about and now I can’t help but feel like I went too far.”
“A friend of mine was verbally abusing her boyfriend right in front of me and my wife. It was making both of us extremely uncomfortable so I said, ‘Rachel, you’re being a huge nightmare right now.’
And she had the audacity to tell me to mind my own business. Like, Rachel, if you’re gonna stand in the fracking kitchen in front of other people and say this crap, it’s not your own business anymore. You MADE it my business by doing it in front of me. Go berate your boyfriend in your bedroom with the door closed. Not a freaking common area of the house. Better yet, don’t talk to your significant other that way. It’s not right.
He’s still with her now, unfortunately. Systems of abuse are difficult to escape from. He has a history of being a victim of this kind of thing.”
“When I was 24, I reluctantly went back to my nan’s old house that I grew up in to scatter her ashes. It was such a fiasco. My two aunts – let’s call them Ruth and Joanne – started arguing almost straight away. My mum acted as the diplomat, but Ruth was verbally beating Joanne to a pulp. Everyone finds it hard to stand up to bloody Ruth. She’s not physically imposing or violent. but she’s considered the big ‘success’ of the family and has always weaponized her intellect. Joanne is very nonconfrontational and Ruth’s treatment of her was borderline bullying. I hated everyone and everything at the time. My nan who half-raised me was dead. I sat away from the chaos, half listening to it all.
Finally, Joanne’s daughter Gemma stepped in to defend her mum. Gemma is one of the kindest people in the world and struggles to say a bad word about anyone. We are like sisters but our relationship was very strained at the time. Grief messes with everything. ‘Ruth, she said. ‘I think you’re being a bit unfair considering…’
‘Don’t,’ Ruth snapped. ‘Don’t you bloody dare or…’
Annndddd that’s when I could stand no more. I jumped up from the couch and stormed into the loungeroom and said ‘Or you’ll WHAT Ruth? Or you’ll what?!? Come on tough lady, tell us what you’ll do…’ she just stood there stunned. ‘I’ve sat there for an hour listening to your bile and enough is enough. They might all be scared of you but I’m not!’ There was dead silence. Then Ruth let out a howl and basically fell apart, sobbing. I didn’t feel guilty.
Later that day, my cousin and I went to the beach and had a pretty intense deep and meaningful conversation. Looking back, my outburst strengthened our relationship. As we were about to leave she suddenly said: ‘You made Ruth cry.’ There was a beat. Then we both burst out laughing.
I still don’t feel guilty.”
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