Battling Cancer Was A Cakewalk Compared To What She Did To Him
“In December of 2011, I was diagnosed with cancer.
A year and three months prior, I dropped down on one knee in what I thought was the most beautiful proposal I could ever pull off. She said yes and although we battled through some of her PTSD and depression stemming from childhood abuse (in the worst ways possible), we were doing extremely well.
As we were anxiously awaiting the final results on what we hoped was the final biopsy, we received the defining call in what is arguably some of the worst timing ever. While out on my ex-fiancée’s — we’ll call her Sam — birthday dinner, Dr. [redacted] called, informing us of the specific type and stage of cancer. Both of our families were there celebrating what was meant to be a rather joyous night, instead we were hammered with the heavy news, which we all knew was on its way, but it didn’t sink in until the phone call.
Skip ahead to February. I was four sessions into chemo and although it was kicking my butt, I was pushing through. I attempted to go to school Spring semester, albeit my body was far from being able to handle it. After leaving school, Sam befriended some of my close friends. In particular, a male friend whom I considered my second best friend — we’ll call him Joe — at the time.
As the weight of my diagnoses hit her, my family, and everyone around me, Sam managed to slip back into what is without a doubt the worst depression she was ever in. In such a dark time, she resorted to doing stuff she would’ve never done before and really started to go off the deep end in many regards.
Sensing her vulnerable moment, Joe managed to spark up interest, albeit hiding it extremely well. I saw it coming and there was nothing I could do about it as I could barely stay awake more than a few hours a day, let alone try to intervene on what I saw happening right in front of my eyes. I warned her though, stating Joe was getting flirty, but to no avail, as she just ‘saw him as a friend’ being there for her in a time of need.
One Friday night while I was at home recovering from the week’s chemo session, Sam, Joe, and other mutual friends went to a little house party they planned. After knocking back a ridiculous amount of drinks, it happened. Joe and Sam hooked up at Sam’s house, where thousands of hours were spent together with her and me.
In the following days, Sam would reveal to me what happened, despite me already concluding after noticing her behavior the day after. I was speechless. There wasn’t a thing I could do. I remember night after night pacing back and forth, laying out in my driveway, and just doing anything I could to forget everything. I saw the train-wreck from miles away and all I could do is watch in slow motion as a piece by piece the cars which were once everything to me derail.
This kept going on. After the second time, the ring came off, the engagement was off. However, day after day, Sam and Joe would go around our (relatively small) campus side-by-side. Week after week, for two months straight they kept at their shenanigans, all while chemo was killing me just enough to keep me alive.
As one could expect, we’re no longer together. We tried to recover from it, but we just couldn’t. I’ve learned more lessons at my age than I ever hoped to and many moments in those eight months defined who I am today.”
His Best Friend Took His Girl And Ruined All His Plans
“In high school, I was in love with one of my best friends (I’ll call her Jackie). Jackie and I dated a little bit then right before prom, I found out she was sleeping with my other best friend (I’ll call him Sam). It turned out they were going to prom together and had planned on never even coming to pick me up. I confronted him about it and he spread rumors around the school that I smacked Jackie around and emotionally abused her. I found this out when I arrived at the prom and had a mob of people drag me behind the hotel and beat me until I couldn’t scream anymore. Nobody ever believed that they lied so I joined the Navy to get away instead of going to the college I had planned on with my ‘friends.'”
His Friend, The Thief
“I had one ‘friend’ that would steal from friends pretty regularly.
One time, I had a small social gathering (~6 or 7 people) and my new smartphone went missing. The scumbag actually ‘helped’ me look for the phone in my house for over an hour. Later on, I saw my phone in his room on his desk. I just took it back, no words were exchanged. I just stopped talking to him altogether after that.
Later, he was at a mutual friend’s party. Her 80GB iPod went missing. Some other friends and I were suspicious that it was him, so the next day we called up the local pawn shop and described the iPod. Pawnshop guy said he got one that day. Sure enough, it was under Scumbag’s name. Pawnshop owner offered to call the cops, but we declined. We approached the jerk and told him we knew. He tried to deny it, but we managed to shame him into admitting it.
At the time, we thought we were taking the high road or something, you know being merciful.
But then, later on, he moved in with some people I knew, and I was talking to them after Scumbag moved out, and they said stuff was going missing all the time in the house; it stopped after he moved out.
Maybe if we did call the cops that wouldn’t have happened…
Oh well. He’s friendless now. Hopefully, one day he will realize that you can’t steal from friends and still expect them to remain friends.”
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
“My friend was dating a girl who I could tell just didn’t like me, but at least we were civil to one another, until the camping trip. She was adamant about keeping our drinks separate, that was fine. I had my brews, they had their hard lemonades, fine. Then I got up early on the first morning and made pancakes for everyone. Why? Because that’s just how I roll. When the campers rolled out of their tents to the smell of apple cinnamon pancakes and campfire coffee, she was the only one to flip out. I’d gone into HER cooler and used HER margarine. My buddy just looked pained and tried to keep the peace as I tossed her a couple of bucks and apologized. Her reaction was to grab a lock from his gym bag and lock ‘their tent’ with ‘their beverages’ and ‘their food.’
Later, he came to me and asked if he could borrow the car so that they could run into town, get some rubbers and have some words about being a bit easier with the other campers. I said ok and handed him the keys. When they returned hours later, the tank was empty, and the field kitchen (a wooden box w/ straps called a wannigan w/ plates, cutlery pots, and pans etc) was missing from the back of the station wagon. We searched the camp, nothing. It was my dad’s and had been handed down in the family for generations. I drove off to fill the tank and buy a new tub of margarine and was halfway down the country road when I saw the wannigan on the side of the road, smashed in the ditch. There were marks along the back panels beside the flattened down seats where one of them had clearly pushed it out the back of the moving car.
After piling it all, stunned, piece by piece back into the wagon, I gassed up and drove back, then packed up. Not a word was said by anyone until I tore up the camping permit and peeled out with their shouts behind me in the dust.
Never spoke to either one of them again.”
The Ultimate Betrayal
“I had a friend that was desperate for a place to stay, so I let him crash at my place. He ended up coming into my room in the middle of the night and assaulting me in my own bed. Threw the trust, the friendship, and my peace of mind right out of the window.”
His Best Friend And Manager Completely Sold Him Out
“I had a record deal with a very major record label. One of my best friends was my manager. I ignored one phone call from him when I was taking a day off and wanted to be out of contact (which he knew) and he decided that was the signal to call the label, as the project was coming to a close, and lie to them about how he had produced most of the record (he hadn’t) and proceeded to help leak some of the instrumentals to another producer at the label. That producer then stole them and released them with other artists.
Months of working night and day on a project fully by myself, from instrumental to vocals to mixing, went down the drain and the final product ended up in so much legal red tape that I couldn’t even release my own, 100% self-created album, for free, much less independently or on another label.
My career rebounded, albeit mainly on the local, internet, and underground circuits. Whether that label could have taken me to the spotlight or not, I will never know.
I haven’t spoken to that ‘friend’ in years. Every so often, he runs into my mother and he tries to stage these accidental meetings with me. I couldn’t be colder each time we interact and he still tries to act as if he doesn’t know why. He thinks one day everything will just go back to normal if he waits long enough. No, you live in a huge house and made a ton of money off exploiting my work, I am doing ok from busting my butt. We will not be back to normal until you can promise me that album, with that label backing it, at that specific time in history, wouldn’t have made me a ton of money, because you can’t.”
Not Only Did He Steal His Work, He Ruined His Reputation
“While freelancing on a sweet gig that came out of the blue, I found out that I would be working with Sean, a guy who was in my group at a former ad agency. Awesome, a friendly face.
Sean was a geek. No one liked him and as his associate creative director (supervisor), I looked out for him. He seemed to try hard and I didn’t understand why everyone excluded him. During two rounds of layoffs, I went to bat for the guy and saved his job, promising to work with him. He was always busy and soon after, I moved on to a new job. So I looked forward to working with him some more and proving those mean jerks from our old agency wrong.
While working this freelance job, l sensed something was wrong soon after it began. Sean had no ideas. None! He literally brought a blank pad in day after day. Excuses were that he was tired, the assignment confused him, etc. I was nervous, but I was stuck. So, since we were on a team, I shared my ideas, our only ideas, with him. We had to present an hour after lunch.
During lunch, I had to go to a doctor’s appointment with my wife, who was seriously ill. On my way back to the office, the cab I was in had an accident. A tool in a Lexus slammed into us. No one was hurt but it totaled both cars. Further, I didn’t feel comfortable leaving the cabbie, as he was foreign and spoke little English. The guy who hit us was ranting, so I stayed to give a statement to the police. I called Sean to explain and asked if he minded handling the meeting and asked him to relay my situation.
Then, the prick presented MY work, claimed it was all his and they sent me home because ‘Sean nailed it.’
Salt in the wound? It took 9 months to get paid for the time I did put in. All along, I tried to explain but no one believed me. He copied my notes in his own writing and submitted them as proof. As far as they were concerned, I was riding this guy’s coat-tails. I coulda kicked his nuts for a week without getting bored.
Two months later, he was found out when he tried it again. Dozens of former coworkers called to rub my nose in it. ‘Still think we’re just picking on Sean?’ I learned that sometimes people are shunned because they deserve it.”
Skipping Town With All His Stuff!
“While we were roommates in college, a friend and I purchased furniture and electronics for the house. The agreement was that when we graduated and moved out, one of us would buy the other out. The day came when my roommate began packing up for his new job in another city. I said my goodbyes and headed to work for the day. I returned eight hours later to an empty house. The jerk took everything he could after we’d agreed I would buy it.
I had talked to him the day before about what was going with who. I wrote him a check the night before. The check was waiting for me on the fridge when I got home, he just left with the electronics and left no money for me.
As for legal recourse, I had no receipts or any way to prove I had bought any portion of our shared items. I was kinda stuck in that regard. It was very much a teachable moment for me. Looking back, I probably should have seen something like this coming.
While we were still living together, I had cashed in my birthday and Christmas presents from my folks to get him a plane ticket to NYC for New Years. When he gave me a video game and I didn’t ‘get him anything,’ he tried to hold that over my head for a while. Finally, about two years after this all happened, he contacted my folks and asked for money, what for I have no idea.”
The Friend Who Only Took, Never Gave
“I had a friend for 20 years. He called me at night to ask to borrow $3,600. It was for his last year of a degree and would get him a raise when he graduated. At the time, I was making quite a bit of money and had lots in the bank. He said he would pay me back in a year. Three years later, after the crash, he still had not paid me back and was constantly giving me lame excuses like that he ‘needs three vacations a year’ and ‘is saving to buy a house.’ My situation had changed and he was still not only refusing to pay me back but still asking for favors and loans. I finally said I was broke to which he replied: ‘You are stupid, I am never going to pay you back or help you out.’ I dropped him as friend and have had very little contact with him since. He did hire my wife at a company he manages. I guess I should have seen this coming.
I had just gotten married and had two kids. Another time he said, ‘your kids aren’t starving!’ He always just thought of himself and no one else. Could not care about anybody else. I guess I thought he was funny. Listened to his streetwalker stories and finally, enough was enough. Last time I talked to him as a friend, he was asking me to get him some grass. I said it was way out of my way. I was too busy. He said, ‘Too much to ask for, eh?’
I said, ‘Well, what would you do for me?’ When you grow up with a guy, it just seems too hard to recognize he isn’t really a friend. Kept this inside for a while. I don’t have any friends from high school anymore because they were all like this. Should have hung out with a better class of people, really.”
A Friend Shouldn’t Lie To Other People About You
“My buddy introduced me to a lady-friend of his at a party. I took an interest in her, asked my buddy if he was cool with me asking her out and he told me to go for it. She and I had what I thought was a great date. My buddy called me the next day to tell me that the lady wasn’t interested and couldn’t see a way to let me down gently, so she asked him to tell me to break all contact.
About two months later, I was hammered and calling various folks. I decided to call the lady up and ask her why she had blown me off. She said that my buddy had told her that I wasn’t interested and that I wouldn’t be calling her anymore.
I would find out later that my buddy had done what he did because he worked with her and had a huge crush on the girl, knew he wouldn’t ever be able to get together with her and felt that when I asked him for his ok, I had put him on the spot. He couldn’t find the courage to ask me to back off.
Once everything was out in the open, we made plans to go out again but we didn’t inform my friend that we had uncovered the deception. That was tough to do because I was thoroughly ticked. I avoided the guy for the next month, ignoring phone calls etc. He found out about it when I came to pick her up at work one night. Nobody said a word, he just looked at us like we had crushed his soul. It had been her idea to do this and I was gleefully happy with the idea of doing that until I after I had actually done it. And then a really weird thing happened.
My relationship with this lady became all about getting revenge on my friend. Whenever there was a silent moment between us, she’d break it by reminding me of what a jerk he had been. A few weeks into it, she’d break the silence by telling me embarrassing stories about him. It seemed like the only thing we really had in common was that we were ticked at my friend. I broke it off after about two months.
It would be several months until I patched things up with my friend. Ran into him at one of the local bars, and, after a talk about ‘Bros first,’ it was all patched up.”