Servers see the absolute worst in people and sometimes, there's no better way to respond than with sweet, sarcastic comments. These servers share the one-liners and acts of paybacks they did to the absolute rudest customers they ever met.
*Content has been edited for clarity.
After He Threatened Not To Tip Her, She’d Give Him The Most Passive-Aggressive Service Ever
If you think I’m gonna kiss your cheap behind just to get a $2 tip on your $80 tab, you’re insane. I took everyone else’s orders before his, and I brought his drinks out one at a time. Everyone else at his table got theirs first. This whole time, I’m still being super sweet to him – ‘Oh, so sorry that took awhile sir, we had to restart the computers,’ etc, so that he can’t complain to my manager about any sort of attitude. This was around 12:30 and the cutoff for ordering drinks is at 1:50 am, so I waited until 1:51 and informed him he had 9 minutes to finish his drink and leave.
Between the time he made the tip comment and 1:50, I managed to get away with serving him only 3 drinks. When 2:00 am rolled around, he wasn’t done with his drink, so I walked up to him and took it (policy). He gave me the meanest look I have ever seen and he called me a witch. I had our bouncer throw him out.”
This Man’s Insults Definitely Weren’t Lost In Translation
“The KFC I work at doesn’t get a lot of business, unfortunately, so my manager understandably can’t have a lot of employees on the clock at once, especially on weekdays when it’s mostly not busy. Of course, this means that when we do get busy, we’re short on staff and can’t keep up with orders. What we usually do is simply stop taking orders until most of the orders taken have been passed out or until customers start to complain at the speaker.
Well, on one of the occasions this has happened, I had a customer go up to the speaker, in his minivan with his family and whatnot, but I had to put him on hold so I could handle my other orders. After about 3 minutes at the speaker (an eternity in fast food, I must admit) he just drives forward. I assume he’s just changed his mind or something. Whatever, right?
He drives up to my window and stops, and he asks if I can take his order at the window. I answered that that’s against the ‘store’s policy,’ since our goal is to keep customers at the window less than a minute.
He wanted to convince me to change my mind and make an exception on his behalf but like many customers, he forgets I’m just an employee and have no say in what happens in this store. I continually say, ‘I can’t I’m sorry’ in that puppy dog way that makes reasonable customers go away with a ‘Well alright then’ look on their faces. But in the end, both his attempts at convincing me and my attempts at keeping our discussion civil fail when he yells ‘FOOK YOO, hijo de tu puta madre!’ in his thick Mexican accent, in front of his kids, might I add. Just as he says this, he floors it and begins to drive away like the coward that he is. I wasn’t too bothered by it thinking I’ll never see him again anyways. I mention the situation to my manager and we exchange disapproving look.
Not 5 minutes later, this is the God’s honest truth, he comes in with his daughter (I presume) to the front of the store, ready to order his meal. At this point, things have actually settled down with the lunch rush now gone, so I quickly clean up as he’s waiting behind another customer and tell my manager who he is and ask if I could please take his order.
Out of spite, hatred, and a thirst for revenge, I take his order with the most respectful, nice and enthusiastic manner possible, and I mean over the top enthusiastic. I offer him drinks, dessert, plates, forks, sauces, the whole store practically, all the while with a huge grin on my face. And to add to that I even took his order in fluent Spanish because [plot twist] I’m Mexican too, with a Caucasian complexion. So yeah, I did know what you yelled at me, you big jerk, and to reward you for that, I’m going to make you feel right at freaking home. He looked embarrassed, to say the least.
Never made eye contact.
Never said more than needed saying.
Never freaking came back.”
If These Customers Were Rude, This Worker Wasn’t Afraid To Let Them Know
“I worked at a coffee shop that served sandwiches and wraps. Whenever someone would be particularly rude or unfriendly, I would write words with the dressing squirt bottles on their bread or wraps. ‘Eat dog poop,’ ‘I hate you,’ whatever I felt like they deserved. It was harmless, but so satisfying.”
It Was The Most Satisfying Hate That Couldn’t Come Back To Bite Them
“I worked as a host and back waiter at an AAA 4 Diamond restaurant, and we had a just downright terrible customer come in. She complained about everything, from the way I offered to take her coat (‘Don’t point at me’ – I wasn’t pointing) to the bread (‘It’s too yeasty’) to the free amuse bouche (‘I wouldn’t feed it to my dog and you better not charge me for it’ – right, it’s an amuse, you won’t be charged for it, and it’s a prix fixe menu anyway). She harumphed and complained about every course, called the kitchen staff idiots, argued about the costs of everything, returned the second course twice and was about to return it a third time.
Finally, the chef walks out of the kitchen, leans down at her table very politely and says, ‘Ma’am, I’m afraid we won’t be able to satisfy you this evening, so I won’t be dropping a check, but we would like you leave. At your leisure. Please let us know if we can make you a drink, and if we can make you a reservation elsewhere, we’ll gladly assist you.’
It was so polite and helpful, but also kind of rude, that she ended up leaving.”
Forget You, Dean
“I’m an ex-barista and whenever someone was a jerk to me, I would just make their coffee a decaf. But my real joy came from messing around with one customer in particular. Every. Single. Day.
We’ll call him ‘Dean.’ Dean used to come in twice a day, and order three extra-hot triple grande lattes. Same thing every day. He was a jerk. Always mean to the new guys, freaking out if they didn’t get his order exactly right, always complaining about our store even though he was the most die-hard ‘regular.’ He walked in like he owned the place. And the worst part was, after a while, it was like he did. The staff tripped over themselves to make sure this guy was happy. The line could be out the door, and then whispers of ‘Dean is here!’ would be echoed throughout the store, and making his drinks would become the store’s top priority. He was rude, didn’t tip, and yet, he was treated like royalty. Fed up with this, I decided to give him exactly what he deserved.