There is nothing worse than a stupid driver messing with your day. We all daydream about how to get revenge against the road ragers, the bad parkers, and the idiotic drivers.
That's why these stories are so wonderful. It's people getting wonderfully petty revenge against people just being
They just shoveled the snow from their spot into mine instead of piling it to the side like normal people.
So I pulled off to the side and waited. They left at 2 am for a party. I went out and re-shoveled the snow from my spot into theirs and then our other neighbor’s snow into their spot as well, packed it down a little too. My other neighbor comes home around this time, sees what I’ve done and laughs and gives me a high five. He said they do this every time it snows.
I went inside, warmed up and went to bed. I was awoken at about 5 am to ticked-off screaming outside. I fell back asleep and woke up at 9 to even angrier screams because apparently, we had some heat wave between 2 and 9 that started to melt the snow and then another freeze that refroze it. So now they were dealing with ice.
They never messed with my spot again.”
Smearing The Windshield!
“When I was about ten years old I lived in the depths of North Saint Paul MN. We used to ride our crappy bikes with friends all over the place.
One day we were peddling down this back alley behind all the main street businesses. Generally, there was zero traffic on a road like this but that day this huge brand new extended cab pickup comes flying out of nowhere barreling down on us and honking. The guy is yelling swears out the window and everything as we peddle out of the way onto the sides. He stomps the gas and speeds off and not a block later pulls into the back of a building’s lot.
We eventually peddle our way up there and see his truck parked by a loading dock with no one in sight. Collectively we all hated the person for how he treated us and our brain gears were spinning on the possibilities of revenge. At that moment one of the tag-a-longs of our group announces that he has to take a really bad dump. Light bulbs go off above all of our heads except his.
There is a dumpster nearby and a newspaper on the ground next to it. With very little convincing needed, he does the deed neatly on the paper. A massive 9-inch log that would have been impressive outright if not for the horrible stench with visible stink lines hovering around it. The group of us talk him into the next phase of the plan, with all of us as lookouts to ensure his absolute safety despite everyone on their bikes ready to book it at the drop of the turd itself. He climbs on the hood of the pickup truck with one hand holding the newspaper and the other slowly pawing forward for grip until he reached the windshield. Then, on two knees, and double handing the underside of the newspaper he splats it on the windshield and swipes in a big arc across.
It was as if the truck had a single wiper for the entire windshield and left a perfect 9-inch wave from one side to the other. The turd itself was only half used up in the process and sat angrily on the other side from where he started. At that moment someone yells RUN! and we all scramble out of the back lot and down the road. Peddling on back trails near the freeway frontage roads and the like, we left no trace for us to be found. An hour later we doubled back following these trails and enjoying the little jumps and tree roots as amateur biker kids do and came across another group of kids on bikes.
Man, did they have a story to tell about a huge, angry, red-faced man driving all over the neighborhood looking for a group of kids on bikes. It’s been about 30 years and I still laugh at the memory, but I also hold the lesson close to heart about not treating kids like crap for no reason. They will get ya back if they can.”
Trying To Ruin A Guy’s Day
“I had someone park in my assigned covered space at midnight on a Saturday. This has happened more than once.
One time, I called management to have them towed. Management tells me they don’t tow anymore because they would have to pay because it was private property so, ‘tough luck.’
I parked behind them and blocked them in. There was a block wall in front. I left the neighbors each a note on their door letting them know if they needed to leave, knock on my door.
At 10 am, frantic pounding on my door, me in pajamas, some girl hysterical that she had to go to work and was going to lose her job. I asked her if she knew it was reserved parking, she said yes, it was midnight and there were no other parking spaces and she didn’t want to street park and walk because it wasn’t safe. I asked her why she was ok with making me park on the street and walk after midnight?
She told me she was going to have me towed. I laughed and went back to bed.
Management calls to tell me I am blocking someone in and if I don’t move, they will have me towed. I relate conversation from the middle of the night, the ‘tough luck’ part, and tell them if they tow me instead of the violator in my spot, I am going to sue them for failing to enforce the rules, endangering my safety because the reason I parked that way was because it was after midnight and ‘everyone knows it is not safe to park on the street and walk.’
I offer to wait for the tow truck then move so they can tow the ‘parking violator.’
Management tells girl ‘tough luck.’
She is back pounding on my door and screaming. People are now calling management about the lunatic ‘trying to break into someone’s apartment.’
The guy she banged the night before shows up to my door. The girl is at the bottom of the stairs crying so hard she has the hiccups. The guy apologizes profusely, said he didn’t know she parked in my spot. He apologized again and offered me money for my trouble.
I told him that wasn’t necessary, I was just waiting for the girl to apologize. He nodded, went downstairs, yelled at her and pointed up to me. She came upstairs and apologized and I moved my car.”
Serving It Right Back To Him
“I was driving home from work and about a block away from house, I see a family getting out of their minivan. The mom, exasperated from I expect was the usual day-to-day, plunges foot to the ground as the two boys explode from the sliding doors. One of the boys (I assume around 10), catches my eye and instantly flips me the bird. The moment felt like it was in slow motion. His finger raised as his chin stuck forward, half scowl/half grin from ear-to-ear. I slam on the breaks and reverse back along beside the house. I explode out of my car.
The young man is now a school uniform-clad statue. I’m now at a brisk stride when the mother greets me. I respond, ‘Hi, I live up the road. Listen, I don’t mean for this to sound weird or abrupt or whatever, but your son just stuck his finger up at me.’ The mother breathes his name through gritted teeth and demands he apologizes. He does. I say, ‘All good mate, just be careful who you do that too, it’s not nice bud.’ She apologizes on his behalf a thousand times before grabbing him by his school bag and dragging his little pipsqueak’s body inside.
As I drive away he leans back over his shoulder and catches my gaze. I roll down the window and look him dead in the eye and flip him off with a sense of satisfaction unrivaled by any meal, thrill, or anything in my entire life. I’m a primary school teacher, so this was a win for me.”
Just Block Them In And They Will Learn!
“When I rented, the parking lot was assigned parking. My wife and I both had cars so I had to pay extra for the extra spot. First one was complimentary.
We come home around 1 am and some idiot is parked in my spot. Not having it, and not wanting to deal with an overnight parking ban on the street, I park behind him perpendicularly to block him in my spot. The spot next to mine was my landlords, who was the most chill guy I’ve ever rented from. I shot him a text explaining what I had done and to call me if he needed out before me in the morning. He laughed and said all was good.
After about an hour of watching tv, I go out for a smoke and notice the most satisfying thing!