To some people, manners are second nature. How to behave politely is something that comes naturally to them and not something that have to ponder over. For other people, asking them to act polite is like acting a fish to breath without water. Unfortunately, the latter somehow always end up as houseguests. These people share their experience with the one house guest who needs to be taught some manner ASAP.
Content has been edited for clarity.
The Piggy Bank Thief
“My wife’s cousin was staying at our house because he was going through marital problems.
One night I woke up in the middle of the night and I heard some change rattling. He walks down the hall with my 5 year old’s piggy bank. He was taking money from my daughter’s freaking piggy bank to buy drinks and smokes.
I was speechless. Like, ‘How could you?’ He claimed he was too embarrassed to ask me or my wife for money. So he resorted to stealing it. If I would not have woken up that night, we would have never known. A day or so later, he got some money from somewhere and put $200 in her piggy bank. He was only sorry because he got caught. He left shortly after that incident. Still bothers me to this day.”
Stupidity Is Hard To Digest
“Back in college, my roommates and I hosted a birthday party for a mutual friend at our apartment. Earlier that day we gifted her a pet goldfish because she had been talking about getting a fish.
Fast forward to later in the night. Our male friend, let’s call him Mike, decided he needed to find a way to impress our other friend, who I’ll call Darla. Mike tries every lame joke and pick up line on Darla and fails time and time again. Then he sees the goldfish in his tank and scoops him up in his hand. He says, ‘Check this out, Darla!’ He then plops the fish into his mouth and swallows it alive. My roommate and I immediately rush over and start trying to make Mike puke the fish back up. Darla quickly makes for the door and leaves the party.
Sadly, that fish met its doom in Mike’s stomach that night. He never apologized although he did complain about severe stomach issues for several days afterwards.”
Caught Them Red Handed
“When I was in cub scouts in third grade, my mom hosted a meeting for the scouts in my grade at school where we built bird houses for some badge or something. While we were waiting for everyone to arrive, me and the scouts who had already arrived started playing in my backyard. One scout, let’s call him ‘N,’ told us he had to go to the bathroom ‘really bad’ and left. When everyone arrives to start the project, I notice that N was sitting at the edge of the table looking down and my mom was REALLY angry, and was trying her best to suppress it. She asked me and all the other scouts if I had given N permission to go in my room. Me and all my friends said, ‘No, he said he had to go to the bathroom really bad.’ This response only made my mom even more visibly angry and N ducked his head more. 5 minutes later N’s mom arrives and is apologizing profusely to my mom.
Turns out N went into my room, pocketed the 20 dollars I had been saving up (I got paid 2 dollars a week for mowing the lawn as an allowance), and was stuffing my toys and video games into his backpack. My mom went upstairs to ACTUALLY use the bathroom and noticed the theft taking place and caught him red-handed. He then lied to my mom and said I gave him permission to go into my room and he was just ‘checking it out.’ But no, my mom caught him red handed and my mom is SCARY when she’s mad. In total, he tried to steal around $150 in Game Boy cartridges, Pokemon cards and toys and around 3 months of allowance.”
Some Help They Were
“I was hit by a car when bicycling to work one day. I ruptured a kidney, broke my jaw and six teeth, and was in general pretty banged up. My boyfriend at the time was overwhelmed by it and he called my family for support (without me knowing, otherwise I would have told him not to). I hadn’t spoken to them in about five years at this point.
They drove 10 hours to our apartment. My boyfriend and I had arranged a suite of rooms at the beautiful hotel literally around the corner from us but they said it would be better if the FIVE of them slept in our one bedroom apartment with us. Fine.
I’m pretty out of it from medication, etc. They had never been to my city before so they insisted I show them around. I got them behind the scenes passes to tour Pixar studios and tried to show them around as much as possible despite the fact I could barely move or walk from the pain in my kidney.
After a few days, I told them I couldn’t keep going places with them. They said I was ruining their vacation. I responded that I didn’t know it was a vacation, I thought they came to visit me because they were concerned about my near-death accident. My mother laughed at that. I told them all to get the heck out of my apartment. On the way out, my sister stole all my pain meds. I didn’t realize it until several hours later when they were long gone and I couldn’t find them to take my next dose. I had to go back to the ER and the staff didn’t want to give me more meds because they thought I was doing something illegal. I had to recover from serious injuries without help.”
“Buddy from college was traveling through town and stayed with my wife and I for the weekend. Nothing crazy, hung out and remembered our college years. A few days after he left, my guest bathroom reeked. Took a bit to figure out but finally discovered an upper decker (poop in the sink) left for us. Disgusting.
He thought he was being funny. Our group in college would pull pranks on each other all the time (not this bad). The problem is everyone else matured, he did not. Our paths haven’t crossed since he stayed with us, only a few comments in group chats. He hasn’t apologized, told me to ‘chill, it was just a joke’… honestly, I’m done.”
Claimed Her Bedroom As His
“She invited a bunch of sleazy guys over, despite me asking her not to. She let them in while I was in the shower, so I did not realize they were in my house. She then took one into my housemate’s bedroom and locked the door (super disrespectful to my housemate who had so kindly offered that she could stay in her room as she was going to be at her boyfriend’s for the weekend).
When I got out of the shower, one of the guys was in my bed! And I was like dude, get the heck out of my bedroom. And he refused and said my friend said he could stay there. I was very not ok with that. I physically had to push him out of my house. The next day when she sobered up, I kicked her out of my house and did not speak to her for three years.”
NOPE, Just Nope
“My college roommate invited a bunch of people over one night. We each had our own bathroom, clearly marked. I go to get something from my room and hear obvious banging going on in my bathroom. I knock on the door and say, ‘Wrong one, get the heck out.’
After they came out, I saw that they had cleaned themselves up on my nice white towels. Apparently, she was on her period.”
A Bad Guest And A Bad Husband
“My ex husband and I had a couple that we were friends with. I grew up in the same neighborhood with the husband, and worked at a bar with the wife. They had met and gotten married in Vegas 3 weeks later, so naturally there was a lot of buzz about their relationship, and her intentions (the guy was super sweet, and she was, well, sketchy).
We had them over for dinner and karaoke, and the night was fun. She kept taking selfies on our disposable camera with my husband, and wanting to sing duets with him, but whatever. Her husband and I finally tapped out around 2 am, and they stayed up. I woke up the next morning, and there was drink stains ALL OVER my bar room. Clothes everywhere, half butted cigs, lip prints on my big mirror. She had slept with my husband while her husband and I were sleeping.
I don’t think the poor guy even realized what happened, I never even really had a fallout with her. She quit the bar and I never saw her again. They did get divorced, but I don’t know if that’s why.
As far as my husband and I, I was young, and naive. It took me a little while to realize my worth, but when I did, I went out with a bang. Sent him a pic of his belongings outside our condo and never looked back.”
Don’t Play Games With This Kid
“When I was a kid, my mom had a friend and her son over. They were over for a couple hours and just as they were leaving I noticed all of my video games were gone, I told my mom, she goes and grabs his backpack and off course they were all in his bag.
His mother immediately came to his defense, saying he’s got a lot of games and must have thought they were his. It didn’t even make sense and she acted as if nothing had happened.
Anyway, terrible mother, kid had no chance. He is now in jail for life no parole for shooting and killing a cop during a coke bust.
There were about 10 or 11 years between the time this happened and the time he went to jail. I was around 7 or 8 and he was around 9 or 10.
Our parents stopped being friends, but they still hung around the same social groups. He got expelled multiple times until he was expelled from the district. In middle school he got mad at someone and brought a peashooter to school and shot him in the butt. Then a couple years later he made a pipe bomb and stuck it in a locker. He was arrested multiple times for vandalism. His mother was always the type of person that would defend him at any cost.”
Stupid But Nice
“My new neighbor moved into his house on the same day as my youngest daughter’s first birthday party. He had a young kid (around 6 or 7) close to the age of my nieces, so I invited him and his family over.
After they’re in the house for around 10 minutes, I notice he’s no longer there, but his daughter is still eating pizza at my table. I looked all over the house and couldn’t find him. I walked down to his house and knocked on the doors. Nobody answered and his car was gone.
Nearly 4 hours later, the last of the guests had left, it was around 9:30 pm and he still was nowhere to be found. He finally came back at 10 pm (walked right in without knocking) and acted like nothing was wrong. I pulled him outside and told him that it is not okay to leave a small child with complete strangers, certainly not for that long, and not without letting someone know. His excuse? We seemed like decent people and he needed to pick up a few more boxes from their old house.
I actually have quite a few stories about this guy and he’s only been on my street for 7 months.
1) I had finished cutting the grass and went upstairs to take a shower. After getting dressed, I heard a noise downstairs. I was home alone, my wife wouldn’t be done work for an hour or so, and my kids were at their grandparents. So, I go to investigate and find the neighbor’s daughter in my rec room, playing with my children’s toys. I asked what she was doing and she said she wanted to come over to play. I told her the kids weren’t here, she shouldn’t be here, and needs to go home right away. I actually had to physically pick her up and carry her to her house, because she didn’t want to leave.
I told her father what was going on and he said, ‘Oh, yeah, I figured she went over there.’ That was it. No apology, no explanation, no talking to his child. I told him that from now on, unless he or his wife is physically present, she will not be permitted in my house. I’m not interested in being accused of anything.
2) A few weeks before Christmas, I threw my back out and had to take some pretty heavy painkillers. I was home alone, had just put some food in the oven, and he rang my doorbell. I hobbled over, opened the door and asked what was up. ‘I heard from [neighbor between us] that you hurt your back and wanted to check on you.’
‘Thanks, bud, I appreciate that. I’m alright, just getting ready to eat some lunch, then take a nap. Why don’t you swing by later and play some games or something.’ I’m trying to be a good neighbor.
He tells me that he doesn’t have a lot of time, but figured he’d stay and chat for a bit. ‘Sorry, but I can’t really chat right now. My back is pretty bad, I’m due for my meds, and I really have to get back inside.’
He then tries to chat about whatever the heck was on his mind after I told him two more times that I’m in a lot of pain. I finally just closed the door while he was still talking.
3) They had a baby a few months ago and my wife figured she’d offer to babysit for a few hours to let them get out of the house and relax. She knocks on their door and this dude answers in his boxers and slippers. He’s not exactly the kind of guy you’d enjoy seeing in his boxers and slippers. He invited my wife in and asked if she wanted anything. She’s like, ‘Uh, actually, I can’t stay. I was running to the grocery store and wanted to see if you were low on any baby supplies.’
4) My doorbell rang last Wednesday. I open the door within 30 seconds of it ringing to find him sitting on my lawn. Not in the steps, not on the chairs on the porch, just in the grass facing away from the house.
He just wanted to come by and hang out for a bit until his wife and kids came home.
Side note: The shame of it is that he’s actually super nice, just incredibly stupid and awkward. I’m about 95% sure their daughter is on the spectrum, but I don’t think the parents notice because of how stupid the father is.”
Shamed For Using Hand-Me-Downs
“One night the girls who lived in the apartment across the hall brought a friend with them to hang with us. As soon as she walked in, she screamed, ‘This will be hilarious. College guys always get the bad hand me down dishes from their parents!’
She walked into the kitchen and began pulling out pans and dishes and howling about how old and ratty they were. Our friends were mortified.
When they tried to talk to her, she talked louder. After 30 seconds of this lunacy, my roommate and I told her to leave. She threw a giant fit and called us rude.
When we honestly tried to come up with some justification for her after the fact, the best that we could come up with was that maybe she was being (way, way) too familiar.
I can see a close friend opening my cabinet and saying good-naturedly, ‘Man, college kids are an excuse for parents to dump their old stuff and buy new.’
If that was her intent, she failed.”
The Mad Pooper
“We had friends over for my girlfriend’s birthday and to celebrate moving into a new apartment together for the first time. A guy we knew from college kept stealing people’s drinks throughout the night and got incoherently wasted. He lived a couple hours away but was too wasted to go home, so we let him stay despite already having a friend from out of town who planned to stay with us.
In the middle of the night, the wasted dude stripped down, forced the other guest off the only air mattress and pooped himself massively. He then tracked poopy footprints all over the apartment, smacked poopy handprints on all the door knobs, including in the bedroom where we were sleeping, covered all our towels/some blankets in his butt sauce, and peed in some places. Oh but it’s not like he didn’t make it to the bathroom – he left a second, possibly third dump in the toilet. No flush. No apology. Just left at like 6 am, without his poopy underpants. Those he left on the ruined air mattress in a steaming heap.
Needless to say, the surprise breakfast waffles for my girlfriend were not as enjoyable.”
“When my husband was in the army, we invited a bunch of single soldiers to have Thanksgiving dinner at our house rather than let them languish in the barracks. One of them was a childish private. He began the night by plopping down on the sofa to play with his Gameboy and announced that he hated turkey. Ignored everyone else for the next hour.
Alright. No problem. I made a massive dinner and there’s plenty of other things to eat.
When it came time to serve up the buffet, people lined up and were heaping their plates and this dude kept loudly complaining that there was nothing good. Selected a few items and joined everyone at the table. Took one bite of one thing, visibly gagged and threw down his fork. Announced that all this food was ‘dirt’ and left the table. Went back to the sofa with his Gameboy. I think that everyone was in such shock that nobody knew how to react. This was so far outside of the norm that there’s no way to prepare for such a thing. Nobody wanted to ruin the evening by making a scene, so everyone focused on making me feel better. (Lots of quick hugs and pats on the shoulder with words of encouragement.) Maybe they were waiting for my husband to do something and he was loading up at the buffet and talking at the time so he missed it.
Everyone blew it off and ignored him for awhile. We enjoyed our meal and people went out of their way to tell me how lovely the food was and to thank me for inviting them. People began to break up and get drinks. Music was turned up and we settled in for a nice evening.
About an hour after dinner, the stinker began to complain that he was hungry. That there wasn’t anything to eat. He would NOT shut up. Demanded that somebody order pizza. At one point he asked for a peanut butter sandwich. People were ‘hushing’ him, but he got worse, so I tried to placate him. I made him one and he was mad because it was whole wheat bread and he only liked white.
After he rejected the sandwich, I didn’t know what the heck to do. I stood there holding the darn thing and I was pretty close to throwing it at him. Three soldiers abruptly excused themselves, pulled him off the couch, and marched him outside. The soldiers came back in about fifteen minutes later, picked up their drinks, and continued the conversation like nothing ever happened. I never saw him again. And I mean ever. He must’ve been banned from every social function from then on out because it’s like he never existed.”
Good Thing He’s An Ex Now
“Years ago, my then boyfriend (now ex) came over to my house unexpectedly the day of my mom’s birthday. My siblings and I were busy decorating. He made himself comfortable on the couch and played on the Xbox, he was out of the way so I ignored him. Just before she gets home, I make him turn off the console. Mom gets home and we do the whole ‘Surprise!’ bit. Ex immediately (like, my mom hadn’t even gotten past the entryway) grabbed the controller, turned the Xbox on, slapped my butt and told me to ‘get him a drink’ as he sat back down on the couch. I snatched the controller out of his hands and told him to go home.
I was already looking for a reason to break up with him. I’d recently realized that his ‘quirks’ were actually unpredictable things he did because he had a drinking problem. We only saw each other about twice a week so I hadn’t been up close and personal with the weird stuff he did after drinking and apparently he’d had a few before coming over.
At this point, it’s important to add that his license was revoked so he got around on a motorized Razor scooter.
But I had gotten really close to his friend group and didn’t want to lose them. I didn’t talk to him for a couple of days, had a chance meeting with my now husband, and dumped the ex via a ‘we should see other people’ text.”
A Pair Of Idiots
“My husband’s friend and her boyfriend arrived from overseas. We hadn’t met him previously.
On day one, the boyfriend googled ‘buy weed in (city name),’ got scammed into sending a lot of cash to Nigeria via Western Union to pay for it, then gave them our address for delivery. No weed ever turned up, but the police did.
On day two, he wanked in the shower and his load got caught by the hair catcher in the drain, which I discovered when I cleaned the shower. Nearly vomited.
On day three, the pair of them had a massive raging argument at our dinner table while the four of us were sitting down to eat. They were yelling insults at each other and trying to get us to join in and take a side.
It went on like this for about a week until my husband told them to leave. They tried to come back a few days later because they’d discovered that our country is expensive and they’d prefer free accommodation with us. We declined.”
Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
“It was my mother-in-law who came to visit my then boyfriend and I. We were in a rental that had a weird little bathroom that the rest of the house made up for. But I got up in the morning and went to the gym and grabbed some food to make dinner. When I got home, I went to shower and she has taken down the bathroom mirror (which came with the rental!) and put up a new one that was really ugly and too small. I wrapped myself in a towel and switched it back. She asked me why I did that and I told her it wasn’t my mirror and gave her the other one back.”
Not A Fairytale Ending
“I prepared a Disney-themed surprise party for a good friend of mine in my apartment. Every corner had a different Disney theme. I made almost all the decorations by hand and the result was truly amazing. I spent around 3 days decorating my whole apartment and preparing her favorite foods. It wasn’t supposed to be a party with a lot of people but I invited our close friends and asked them to come without having dinner first. Some vegetarian friends who were coming mentioned that they were bringing a friend of theirs who was vegan so I made a big buffet including the birthday girl’s favorite foods, a few vegan dishes, a big pitcher of fresh mocktails to share, everyone’s favorite snacks including a few vegan snacks on the side… Think the big picture, a baked Brie, nice homemade hummus, cut-up fresh veggies, vegan dips made with veganaise, vegan macaroni salad, nachos, French bread, hot spinach dip, bacon poppers, a spinach Asian salad, a huge pecan cake Frozen-themed, vegan marshmallows dipped in vegan chocolate, popcorn caramel cake pops… That didn’t even include the snacks I bought since these were all homemade.
Anyway, my friends get to my place and they are late, but it’s not a big deal. The birthday girl is truly surprised. It looks magical and the food looks amazing. I invite people to start digging in right away… and no one grabs a plate except me and my boyfriend. Turns out they went out to dinner right before coming here when I specifically asked them not to. I mention that I made a lot of vegan dishes since I knew their vegan friend that I never even met was coming… yet she doesn’t thank me or attempt to eat anything. She says, ‘Nah, I’m good I ate before coming here!’ The birthday girl eventually gets some stuff but mostly the snacks I bought. I tried to camouflage my tears by inviting people to play games. We played for an hour and a half until my friend said she was tired and wanted to go home. Other people just followed behind her.
3 days of decorating and cooking. Around $100 worth of food and snacks. All of this for maximum two hours. When they left, I cried so hard and my boyfriend was livid. He couldn’t believe how ungrateful my friends were. I used to be very generous to my friends but ever since that happened, I’ve stopped making parties, dinners and gifts. It really broke my heart and my view on our friendships has never been the same since then.”