Adding To The Family
After mothers and father have a child, they usually want to share the new baby with their family and friends. But for one woman, even though she wanted to at first, was obligated not to have her ex-boyfriend’s parents apart of their granddaughter‘s life.
While a lot of us have heard about overbearing, entitled relatives, only Olivia could say her ex boyfriend’s parents take the cake. They didn’t just show up uninvited to shower the newborn, but thought they could have her, and not just for the holidays.
It all started with a painful break between Olivia and a guy she dated. Feeling down, she went back to her ex (we’ll call Eddie). And after a month of being back together, she got pregnant, but because of her religious beliefs, wanted to keep the baby. And even though she wanted to follow through with the pregnancy, she already had reservations about Eddie.
Eddie was much older than Olivia, but wasn’t going anywhere. He said he “was starting over his career,” but he didn’t work, and lived off funds from his family- not to mention he was a complete prick, and neglectful to his pets. But Eddie wanted to be together and wanted every excuse to keep it that way, and he was convinced that since she was pregnant with his child, “she would not escape him.” However, Eddie never acknowledged Olivia and her symptoms while pregnant, “like morning sickness, dizziness, weakness, [and] mood swings” and just thought she was “making it all up.” So, it was clear to her that he didn’t care, and was worried about their future as parents, and she decided to break it off; strangely though, he seemed shocked. “He even tried proposing,” Olivia recalled, but she knew they wouldn’t last, and asked him to leave her alone. But he didn’t.
After a month of being broken up, Eddie came over to Olivia’s house begging her parents to make her agree to get back together with him. But they refused to get involved or help deal with their relationship. Olivia’s parents were very supportive, and knew there was more to the situation. See, Olivia was born in Russia but moved to Ecuador when she was very little. She describes herself as fair-skinned and her hair and eyes are lighter. But in the country where they live, people “mostly have dark features.” So, she viewed as a “trophy” to Eddie because of her ethnicity and appearance. “He showed me off when we were together to all his family.” And apparently it was Eddie’s “family tradition” to marry people from other countries to in order to achieve a higher reputation in theirs. All this time, Eddie’s parents, Jorge and Lucia, where nice and sweet to Olivia. During her pregnancy, they texted her asking about her, and if she needed any help, but Olivia didn’t want to take any money from Eddie (or his family for that matter) for childcare. She didn’t want people checking up on her, because she didn’t want anything to do with Eddie. And truthfully, she never had issues with them previously, and saw them as really kind, or so she thought.
New Beau and A New Baby
After a few months pregnant, Olivia began seeing her best friend (Isaac). Issac was extremely helpful before Olivia had her baby and even during childbirth. The delivery went well, and Olivia finally had her beautiful baby girl, and of course “fell in love with her immediately.” Things were great for Olivia and Isaac. But as soon as Olivia started to think her problems with Eddie were basically over, she received a text message from Eddie’s father.
Grandparents Came Knocking
Bob’s text read that he was outside Olivia’s house, and he wanted her to come out too, “because he had some gifts for the baby.” But the weird thing was that he didn’t abide by Ecuador’s typical traditions. And apparently, “in Ecuador, there is a culture where you have to call before you plan on visiting someone, and it was frowned upon and considered highly disrespectful if you just showed up at someone’s house demanding to be let in.” But this is the case in a lot of countries. Ecuador isn’t the only place where it’s rude to demand someone open their door for anyone, or show up unexpectedly. So, it’s not surprising that Olivia was annoyed. Regardless though, she agreed to come outside.
When Olivia exited her house, she saw Jorge and his wife Lucia. Right there, they just handed her a bag of gifts from “all their family members.” Now it’s understandable that they would want to see their grandchild, but to abruptly show up, wasn’t polite. Plus, the baby (we’ll call Abby) was actually sleeping at that moment. So, Olivia explained she really didn’t want anyone to wake Abby (who was only three weeks old). But that wasn’t a good enough excuse for these pushy grandparents.
“The sweet couple’s faces turned and twisted into disgruntled, entitled grandparents,” and “Lucia struck with her fist against their car” while Jorge “grumbled.” They eventually calmed down, but insisted they had a right to see their grandchild because they gave her gifts, and “Lucia wanted to hold her.” One would think they would want to see the child, just to see the child, and not just because of the presents they brought from random family members Olivia had never met. But they weren’t only acting entitled, but disrespectful to Olivia having just given birth not long before, and she could hardly walk. So, she tried to shut down the conversation, but things escalated.
Wouldn’t Take No For An Answer
Olivia: “Excuse me but I can’t let you in right now, she is sleeping and wakes up easily.”
Jorge: “Oh come onnnnn… it’s just a baby, she will fall asleep right after a few minutes, just let us come in, Lucia has come all this way to carry her.”
O: “Ummm.. sorry but it’s a no, thanks for the gifts though, next time it would be nice if you called prior to coming so I can make sure everything is ready for your visit and you might get to hold her.”
Lucia: “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO HOLD THE BABY AWAY FROM US, EVEN IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH EX DIDN’T WORK, SHE IS OUR GRANDCHILD.”
O: “I understand but as I said before, I really don’t want to wake her up-”
L: “HOW DAAAAAARE YOU DISRESPECT ME, THAT IS OUR BABY AND WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO SEE HER, BRING HER OUT NOW.” She interrupted- not backing down. But neither did Olivia. Olivia maintains her sternness, “No sorry, I can’t,” but Jorge cuts her off.
J: “That baby is worth a lot to us, you know that in our family bloodline is very important, we need to take pictures of her and send them. Did she get blonde hair and green eyes like you?” What? Worth a lot? Their behavior didn’t only turn Olivia off, but solidified her decision to not let them in, and also to not be apart of Abby’s life. They only cared to show off Abby, and not care for her. But Olivia reluctantly replied “She has amber hair and blue eyes-” But Jorge wouldn’t take no for an answer and said, “That will do, bring her out now.”
O: “Sorry, I am tired, I usually sleep when she sleeps so I’m going in right now.”
L: “BOB DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, SHE IS KIDNAPPING OUR BABY AND KEEPING IT AWAY FROM US…” Their Baby!? In shock, and completely taken aback, Olivia goes inside, and shuts the door behind her. She couldn’t believe that they would act like that, not to mention treat her “baby as if she was a dog that had pedigree,” and show off baby pictures to the rest of the family like shes some sort of prize, and not a human being. Furious, Olivia stayed inside while Jorge attempted to calm down Karen. But he was assuming that they would maybe see the baby the next time they visited, but what they didn’t know was Olivia had no intention of that.
Hoped They Would Understand
A month later, Olivia got a phone call announcing they were at her house again, and did not call in advance, yet again. But this time, Olivia actually had the time to talk, (even though she didn’t want to). Given their last visit, she was happy to have her father to accompany her outside. Her dad was a “tall,” and “well-built,” with a “stone face,” even though he was actually really kind. But she was thankful he was with her just incase things got out of hand.
Jorge: “Hello, can we see the baby now? We got you more gifts.” Olivia responded by explaining that she appreciated the gifts, but wanted to start a fresh life with Abby, and that they would not be seeing her this time (or maybe ever). Olivia admitted to making her own mistakes in life, but wished to move on. And she hoped they would understand, but not for her sake, but for baby Abby’s. But they didn’t not take this lightly.
It Got Personal
Lucia’s face immediately got flushed and turned as red as a tomato, clearly upset, turned away with her head down, and began sobbing. And while Olivia almost felt sorry for her, that feeling quickly went away with Jorge’s response.
Jorge chuckled and said condescendingly, “Oh, kids these days. We are her grandparents and have the right to see her, and have her, and do what we wish with her. She is our family, so don’t act immature. You bring her out now so we can see her. Also on holidays, she will be coming to our place and spending it with us. You are just a child and don’t know anything about life.” Olivia was 22 years old at the time, and Jorge wasn’t only insulting her, but assumed she was an incompetent mother based on her age, and stated “She [Abby] will suffer if she doesn’t spend time with us. You have no right to take her away from us. I understand you are angry [at Eddie], but that doesn’t give you the right to behave like this.” And they had the right to behave the way they were? Olivia was the mother, and was entitled to behave however she pleased if it meant the best of her child. But guess who decided to show his face? Yea, Eddie was there, and decided he should chime in, but only made matters worse.
Dad Spoke Up
Eddie: “Yes.. she is mad at me and does this as a pay off..” Eddie’s statement was cut off by his father, again being ignorant.
Jorge: “Our family is very prestigious, so the child will be very happy.” It was pretty bold of him to assume Olivia couldn’t make Abby happy (solely because of status). But he went on further, “ Also everyone will like her because she has foreign blood, and we want to make sure everyone knows how special she is.” And having “foreign blood” makes her special? As if baby Abby is some rare commodity?
More defensive than ever, Olivia argues, “My decision is final, sorry, [not sorry] I will not hold contact with you, nor you will get to meet my daughter.” But Karen, oh Karen, couldn’t take it.
Lucia: “HOW DARE YOU LITTLE IMMATURE GIRL TAKE THIS RIGHT AWAY FROM US, WE ARE HER GRANDPARENTS.” At this point, witnessing the craziness of it all, Olivia’s dad had enough. He rarely raised his voice, but obviously felt the need to stand up for his daughter, and also his grandchild. So, Olivia’s dad spoke up, “Ok, you listen to me now. My daughter has suffered enough with people like you, she wants to start a new life and it will be the best for her daughter to do the same. She doesn’t have to be with people like you, so just leave her alone.” He motioned Olivia inside, and said “Let’s go inside now.” While his tone was pretty intense, in a fit of rage, Lucia shoved past Olivia “screeching like a mad banshee,” pushed her way through the house gate, and into the yard. This fury might have surprised innocent bystanders (and even her husband, Jorge, her son, and Olivia), but not Olivia’s father. Olivia’s dad just stood strong, and blocked her from going any further, but not for long.
“We Have Rights”
Jorge: “We are a family and have rights, remember that, you immature girl, you are hurting your daughter.” While they continued to badger Olivia about their rights, and how immature she was, so it was clear they didn’t know the laws in Ecuador concerning single parents and custody of children.
In this type of situation, the mother typically has sole custody “until the father proves he is the father with a DNA test,” and only has a five year window to prove this, otherwise, he would “lose his right to parenthood.” Only the father can do something about the situation in a court of law. And Olivia knew Eddie didn’t have enough money for that (and honestly, neither did his parents). He was unemployed, no career, and didn’t have the time (or the intent). “He couldn’t care about his daughter, and I couldn’t be happier,” Olivia thought, and figured that after all this back and forth it would be done with, but she couldn’t have been more wrong.
Thought It Was A Safe Place
Every Saturday and Sunday, Olivia and Isaac would go to the mall together and just walk around with the baby Abby. They live pretty far away from Eddie and his parents, so Olivia and Isaac thought this was a safe place. But apparently Eddie knew their schedule, and must have told his parents. And when they were in line at one of the stands at the mall, Olivia had Abby’s stoller on her left, with Isaac on the right, when she feels the stoller move ever so slightly. And to her surprise she sees Lucia trying to lift Abby from her stroller.
Lucia tries to sneak off with Abby screaming, but Olivia reacts as any mother would and yells, “What tf do you think you are doing!!!” And as Olivia tries to reach for Abby, because the stroller is in between them, Lucia has the opportunity to turn around, and makes a run for it. And the worst thing is that in Ecuador, even if you’re “getting robbed, harassed or attacked,” “almost no one cares or will do anything about it, so all the people in line just stared.” So, Olivia chased after Lucia, but thankfully, Isaac being the quicker one, caught up to Lucia first, and snatched Abby away from her. And while Olivia was (obviously) having a fit and screaming at Lucia for trying to steal Abby, she noticed Jorge waiting in the car outside, just peeking through the window. Then even though it was evident that Lucia was trying to kidnap Abby, she tried to turn it around on Olivia and Isaac!
Had To Get Security
Isaac: “HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ABBY AND WORSE EVEN STEAL HER AWAY FROM HER STROLLER YOU DUMB B-” Isaac was cut off by Lucia plopping to the floor and yelling for security. And as soon as security showed up, Lucia lied about what had happened, making the whole situation more messed up than it already was.
Security guy 1: “Ma’am what seems to be the problem?”
Lucia: “They kidnapped my daughter, that baby is mine and they took her away from me and then shoved me to the floor and kicked me in the guts!”
Security guy 2: “Is that true?”
Isaac in defense, goes “No, of course not. She stole my girlfriend’s baby from her stroller and tried to make a run for it. She is the mother of Olivia’s EX.”
Lucia: “HE IS LYING , HE STOLE HER FROM ME, I AM THE MOTHER AND SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, DON’T YOU SEE?” And for whatever reason, the security guy tries to mediate, and says, “Well.. let’s check security footage to see if” but Lucia cut him off too. “THERE IS NO NEED FOR THAT. WE ARE WASTING TIME, JUST GIVE ME MY DAUGHTER BACK NOW, SHE NEEDS ME.”
Then because Lucia wouldn’t back down or listen to reason, the security guard was forced to go check the footage. They rolled back the tape and found out that Lucia had been following them for “about an hour,” while Jorge just sat in the car outside waiting, as if he was the getaway ride.
The footage also proved that Olivia and Isaac were telling the truth, so the guard was obligated to call the cops. And even then, Lucia still tried to reach for Abby, but Isaac stopped her “before pushing her down to the ground.” Lucia laid there, screaming, and wallowing on the floor trying to get past Isaac. She threw punches, and kicks to the point that security had to physically restrain her until the police came and showed her off the premises.
Probably For The Best
That was the last Olivia heard from Jorge and Lucia, and she hopes that its the last. While some may believe it is wrong for her to keep her child from her grandparents, it’s probably for the best. Eddie and his parents didn’t want to be in baby Abby’s life for the right reasons, and tried to steal her away from her mother. Their behavior was more than overbearing or entitled, it was just disturbing. Hopefully Olivia and her daughter have since moved far far away.