How was everyone’s Christmas in 2020? There’s many ways to answer that question, but for some, it was absolutely horrible. These people reveal the devasting incident that ruined their Christmas last year. Content has been edited for clarity purposes.
The Cry Baby Uncle
“The story behind why I hate my stupid uncle is long and involved, but every year I hate him and my awful cousins just a little bit more.
My 83-year-old grandma had been caring for my 88-year-old grandpa with dementia, incontinence, and legs so bad he could barely stand, let alone get around. My grandfather was horrible to her because he was so confused he couldn’t figure things out and lashed out at her. My mom went up and helped as much as she could, and I did too. My uncle never lifted a finger but made her feel guilty about putting him in respite care because of covid. She was all alone, no outside help could come in because of covid. And yet he yelled at her for even thinking about putting him in respite just so she could get a break from the 24-hour care.
She eventually snapped and had a mental breakdown from the stress and ended up putting my grandpa in respite, where unfortunately he suffered a stroke and died a couple of months later. Did my uncle help plan arrangements? No. Did he go to my grandma’s house on the day he died? No. Then he insulted my mom because she didn’t personally give him the funeral plans even though my aunt was there the whole time and could have told him at any time.
Then, he actually whined about not having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner and made my grandma feel so guilty that she prepared dinner for his family by herself, ONE MONTH after my grandfather’s death. AND did his usual thing of arriving two hours late, leaving her sitting there trying to keep food warm. Like she has to do every year.
This year I said, ‘Forget that! I’ll have Christmas here and you do whatever you want but it will NOT involve guilting my grandma again to make a whole Christmas dinner for your selfish, whiny self.’
Plans changed and my brother and I (plus our spouses and children) were going to my grandma’s on Sunday. But could he leave us well enough alone? No, he was intruding on my nice relaxed Christmas with my grandma and I had to be forced to be in the same room as his selfish whiny immature self.
The saving grace was that my terrible cousins were not there.”
No One Else Had The Christmas Spirit
“My husband hates the Christmas tree so it’s ever only half up in the living room. Last year, I didn’t have time to finish it because when I was not working, I was running errands and battling online school with the kids. I was up until four am putting out Santa stuff. My husband brought the bags inside and went back to sleep while I set it all out.
But he forgot to get my daughter’s big gift (a trampoline) out of storage. It was his one task.
My three children didn’t even wake me up when they looked at their Santa gifts that morning. They knew how much I looked forward to it. Then my husband was having an anxiety attack and had just slept all day. You see, he genuinely has anxiety and never really celebrated X-mas even as a kid. Also, his mother died on Christmas Eve years ago and that just made his neutrality of the holiday turn into dread and sadness. So he struggles through it for us but some years are better than others. He doesn’t have traditions or anything that guide him. He participates solely for us, but this Christmas, he didn’t even bother to participate during the family (us and kids) gift exchange.
Conversely, my childhood Christmases were magical and full of traditions and it’s my favorite time of the year.
I ended up cooking Christmas dinner alone while the entire house slept. The kids did complain that I added onion to the pot roast, though. I wanted to make turkey but by the time I was able to get to the store, they were all frozen and I had no time to thaw.
I asked the kids to take the trash out that I gathered after X-mas presents and Santa, and no one did. My husband did complain to me about the bags being in his way through when he ventured downstairs for ten minutes.
Once dinner was ready, I ended up breaking down and crying because I sent a group text to my husband and two older teens that dinner was ready and a reminder to take out the garbage bags so we could eat. They literally just ignored it. All three. Didn’t even reply. So I made my plate.
Then about a full half-hour later, I texted them, ‘Thanks and Merry Freakin’ Christmas’
I continued to cry while I ate. And I NEVER cry. The angry text got them out of their rooms to check on me I guess.
I’m probably the reason all this even happened because I’m a very ‘Nevermind, I will just do it myself’ kind of person. I think if the kids hadn’t done Christmas without me, I probably would have been fine. But that just hurt so much because I picked out each and everything to see their joy. I worked overtime to pay for it because it had been a bad year and I wanted to make the holiday a bit more special.
After cooking and eating, I did the dishes too while everyone enjoyed their presents. That I bought for everyone on my own with no help. And wrapped. And set out. And cleaned up afterward. And once again, my husband didn’t even bother to participate or open his. I opened nothing because his gift to me was in a room that had three closed garbage bags full of wrapping paper and plastic propped against the shut door. Not even gross.
And my kids, one with a job, didn’t even get me anything. My husband never took them to a store or even amazon online to pick me out a dollar something. So buying a gift for me wasn’t something they even think about.
So instead, I went to my room and took a four-hour nap.
When I ranted to my husband about it all he told me that I was obviously in a bad mood. So he decided he was taking another nap to avoid me. He’s a good dad, husband, and I love him completely. It doesn’t excuse him completely, but it helps to understand him. We are both essential workers – he is in healthcare and we are both working a lot of overtime. This has been a hard year and the stress and exhaustion have caught up to us.
Next year, I’m just saying forget it. Nineteen years of magical Christmases and I’m just over it. Merry Christmas!”
“We went to exchange gifts at our in-laws Christmas Eve. Stayed outside for a brief amount of time and wore a mask to be safe.
In May, our family adopted a rescue puppy, a very hyper breed. It was still a puppy at five months old. My father-in-law (FIL) has a four-year-old lab they never trained or socialized. We didn’t plan on bringing our dog around their dog as to not pick up bad habits, and the age difference. However, my FIL thought it’d be cute to let them play.
Instantly, my puppy went into play mode; running in circles and jumping on the lab. Just normal behavior mind you, but to my FIL this was viewed as violent. The lab was clearly uncomfortable so was the owner so I called for my dog and she came.
As my dog was prancing back to me, my FIL smacked my five-month-old puppy to the ground, yelling ‘Bad dog.’
They Went On Vacation
“My parents decided to go on vacation this month and I told them it was a bad idea. Their trip to California got canceled when it shut down and they switched to Florida. I told them when they got back they had to isolate for two weeks (meaning they couldn’t see me and my son) or show me a negative test upon return, whichever came first.
They went anyway. They had a great time, sent pictures to me, let me know they were feeling fine, and promised they were taking every precaution, etc. They came home and were very upset that I wouldn’t pick them up because I didn’t know if they were infected.
After a few days, they called me at 11 AM and told me they couldn’t find a testing center that would take them because they didn’t pass the prerequisites to get a test (have you been exposed blah blah blah). They asked me to ‘Give in and let us have Christmas today.’
I said, ‘No. Two weeks. I’ve got a ton of presents for everyone waiting in the wings. Dad already planned the date.’
But Christmas came and my mom was crushed. She really thought I’d cave. She called me while my dad and sister were out shoveling snow. She was sobbing and congratulated me on winning and hurting her. She told me how I only wanted to hurt her and didn’t care about getting infected or not.
I hung up.
She called back to tell me she hated me right now. And said, I was ‘the most hateful person she’s ever met.’
I didn’t want to be at home on Christmas, I wanted to be with my family. But I recognized the state my country was in and would like to be part of the solution rather than apathetic to people dying just for my comfort.”
Why Was She So Upset?
“My wife’s grandmother died a few days ago before Christmas. They were extremely close. Subsequently, she had been an emotional and anger wreck, and I had been doing everything (including not sleeping) to try to keep this season afloat for her. It had been a monumental challenge in patience and letting her say very angry things knowing she needed to.
Well, on Christmas Eve, we hung out with her parents, at the end of a four-day stretch of not sleeping. I couldn’t take it any further and passed out on the floor of her parent’s place when I told her I just needed a few minutes to keep functioning.
We got to our home at about one am and she basically exploded in anger at me, telling me I was weak and ‘not husband material’ for being tired, that I had no idea what she was going through. Then she threw her engagement ring at me and told me to sleep in the car.
We were supposed to see my parents the following day. But the last thing she told me was that she didn’t want to waste her time seeing my awkward family.”
“My dad and his wife live in the Midwest. My wife and I live in California. In September, my dad had asked my wife and me to consider moving to the same Midwest city as him and his wife. My dad said he’d help us with moving expenses, buying a house, or whatever else we needed. My dad and his wife are millionaires, so my wife and I are not nearly as well off, but are just starting our careers.
My wife and I talked about it, and we liked the city, and the prospect of getting some help buying a house (which we all know is a dying millennial dream) was enough for us to say yes.
My dad and his wife had just purchased a new home and told us that as soon as they sold their old home, they’d co-sign and/or help with a down payment on a house in their city. They hooked us up with their realtor right away and informed their realtor of the game plan. We were looking at homes online the entire time and making a list of houses to view when we returned to the Midwest for Christmas.
Fast forward three months on Christmas morning:
After opening presents, in front of the ENTIRE family, my dad told me that he decided he wanted to put in a pool and didn’t want to help us buy a house. He then avoided me for the next three days, and the night before my wife and I were supposed to fly back out, I had enough. I told my wife to pack her bags and we would stay in a hotel the last night. My dad overheard us talking about it, interjected (after literally not seeing him for three days, despite being in the same house) and I calmly confronted him about the entire situation.
His wife flew off the handle and literally bum-rushed me from across the room, completely unprovoked, my dad had to restrain her. She told me to leave and never come back.
My dad backed her up and said, ‘Yeah, if you don’t leave, I’m going to call the police.’
I scoffed, pointed out that we were already leaving, and called an Uber.
Haven’t talked to him since. We blocked him and his wife.
A year later, my wife and I were six months pregnant and I just got my dream job making great money. My dad has no idea about either. Additionally, my brother and his girlfriend refused to visit my dad for Christmas and have more or less cut contact with my dad and his wife.”
Baby’s First Christmas
“Five days before Christmas Eve, I moved my life, my four dogs, and one-month-old baby to my mother-in-law’s house. She and I have serious issues with each other, but we had nowhere else to go and she promised we could put them aside for the baby. Not two days of being there, she was already on her nonsense.
With the issues we had in the past, I told my partner we needed to start looking for a different place to stay. I guess he mentioned it to her after the holidays we would be leaving. I went to the store and came back and she was on a complete rampage (typical of her behavior), telling us to get the heck out immediately. She had to help us move in the first place because not all of our stuff would fit in our car and my husband drove rockets everywhere.
We tried to rent a U-haul unsuccessfully because she had rented one with my name and email and never paid for it when she dropped it off somehow? So they wouldn’t rent to me. Plus it was Christmas Eve, so hardly anything was available. Ended up moving all our stuff, dogs, and baby into a motel in the middle of a global shutdown. And that was where my baby was spending her first Christmas.”
A Present To Dad Gone Wrong
“For context, my mother and I worked hard and waited months with the help from Etsy to make a poster from a song my mom wanted to dedicate to my father to show how much she cares. The poster had all the lyrics from ‘My Man’ by Lynn Anderson. As well as a picture of them on their wedding day.
Anyway, we all opened presents last night and were so excited for my dad to see our gift. He smiled and didn’t say anything. Hours later, my mother came into my room, bawling her eyes out because my father said, ‘I hate it. It looks like a kindergartener wrote it. I felt disrespected as soon as I saw it.’
I was livid and confronted him by asking, ‘Why do you hate it?’
And he said the same thing. He then told me to get out of his face and not ask him for anything ever again.
The next thing we heard was the poster being ripped from the frame. I found it ripped to pieces. My mom ripped it up in anger and sadness and also ripped up their wedding photo on the poster.
So once again another Christmas down the drain.”
“I Promptly Choked Him Out”
“My older brother is a junkie. He and his girlfriend came over to the house for Christmas Eve. They were both high on some sort of stimulant and wouldn’t shut up or stop arguing at each other. One thing led to another, words were said, and he attacked me. I promptly choked him out, because he’s a weak junkie.
Then his girlfriend was attacking me when I did it, so I got up afterward and threw her out of the house followed by her boots and jacket behind her. My brother woke up and left as well.
Later that night, they got the cops called on them because their neighbors could hear them screaming at each other through their apartment walls. So when the cops came, my brother tried to break his own arm on the bathroom towel hanger to say the cops did it. But that didn’t work because all he got was a hospital ride from my mom at three am to go get it looked at in the ER.”
Not Only Was Christmas Ruined, But Also His Future
“When my kid was nine years old, my ex-girlfriend took him to the doctors trying to get a diagnosis so she could put him on disability and collect a check. She claimed he was schizophrenic and had a psychosis with Aspergers. All lies. She would read up on what she wanted and lead the doctor to the result she was looking for.
After getting custody of him, I had his previous diagnosis thrown out and he was judged to be a normal kid with some emotional trauma.
Fast forward to the year, my son joined the Navy. We were upfront with his recruiter about everything, they said, ‘Don’t worry about it. It won’t show up, and he’ll be fine.’
He shipped out for basic training in the month of November. They found his records from 12 years ago and disqualified him. Since then, he was separated at boot camp and sent to ship while awaiting discharge and a plane ticket home. He was devastated and angry. He didn’t make it home for Christmas. So once again our Christmas was ruined by the ghost of the past. Just the latest of many.”
No Christmas For Her
“My girlfriend has a drinking problem and decided, ‘Hey let me get wasted at my first Christmas with my boyfriend’s family.’
Don’t get me wrong, she’s a fun partier up to a certain point but once she passes that threshold she’s clumsy, emotional, angry, and goes the extra mile to make a statement except the statement makes no sense ever so not understanding her, infuriates her. And that’s exactly what happened that day. An argument began.
Instead of letting me try to diffuse her outburst, she attacked me verbally and said some of the most messed up things, and because I’m no punching bag, I attacked back. We went into a verbal free for all and then we broke up on Christmas at my family gathering.”
“My dad was hospitalized for his excessive drinking recently and now he’s home. I’m the only family member left who will take care of him and help organize his care/life since my brother doesn’t have any capacity to care whatsoever and was off having a happy little Christmas of his own.
I came to spend Christmas with my dad, even though he was in a bad mood and argumentative about things. He has carers that come in four times a day between 7 am and 10 pm which does not change over the holidays.
I found out two expensive items have been stolen from his house that night. There are only carers that come in so it must have been them. Also, I had two hours of sleep that night because my dad had a searing toothache, and the next day, I had to call the medical care line to book a dental appointment for Sunday for him. So I had to extend my stay with him to take care of that and get him there, even though I can’t drive.
There was no Christmas dinner, nothing special at all, and I was very tired.”
First Time Meeting Mom
“My sister, her boyfriend, and their young dog came to me and my mom for Christmas. It was the first time we met her boyfriend. My mom got tipsy (she gets tipsy very easily) before they arrived, so by the time we all sat by the table, she was almost unconscious. Three of us tried to have normal Christmas, but my mom was constantly mumbling and trying to say something all the time, making everything really uncomfortable, meanwhile the dog was constantly trying to hump my mom.
The thing that really ruined everything was when she dropped a glass. She got up, did a whole 360, and fell on the floor hitting her head. She got up, laid down on a couch next to us, and after a few minutes, she kept asking me who were the people in our living room.
That was the moment when the three of us decided it was time to clean everything up. Then we hopped in the boyfriend’s car. They were going home, but I asked for a ride to the city center because I really didn’t want to be home. So yeah, my mom ruined Christmas and probably the worst first impression my mom could do.”