When a new man comes into a mother’s life, it’s always going to be a little odd for the kids. There are boundaries to be set and respect to be earned on either side. For one man, he is uncomfortable with his child calling his mother’s new boyfriend grandpa.
A Reddit user popped up on one of the subs to ask some advice from other basement dwellers. He wanted to know if he was out of line for asking his kid not to call his mother’s new boyfriend grandpa. His mom had only really started dating her new man about a year and a half ago, so it’s kind of fresh.
For some context, the poster’s mom was married to her former husband until about four years ago, when they divorced. He then passed away. It’s only recently that she started dating again. But during this time, the poster has also become a father. His child will never meet his original grandpa.
When the man and his wife had a visit from his mom, she met her new grandson for the first time. She also brought her partner along. The problems started when his mom began referring to her new boyfriend as grandpa.
This didn’t sit right with the man, and he insisted that his mom reserve the grandpa title for his late father. A year and a half relationship isn’t exactly long enough to start earning familial titles. But that caused a ruckus with the family.
Granpa Gripes
His abrupt outburst in front of his mom about the grandpa situation caused a problem. His mother left with her new boyfriend, hurt and probably angry. It’s taken a solid six months for the two of them to start to talk properly again.
I, personally, can see where the man is coming from. Familial titles like grandpa or dad are something that is earned by an outsider over time. They are titles that can even be stripped from relatives who don’t live up to the name in some cases.
But with any kind of sensitive situation, there are ways to go around these things. For his son, the new boyfriend is the only person alive in the grandpa role. If they get married, technically, he will be. But a prior conversation would probably have been better than a blow-up.