Finding out that a significant other has cheated is not only hurtful and devastating, but enraging too. Some people get so furious that they have to take matters into their own hands and get back at their deceitful exes. Those who have been cheated on share what they did to take revenge against their former lover. All stories have been edited for clarity.
A Cheat And A Thief
“A particularly flaky ex had me pick up a ‘friend’ to stay with us for a week. When it became too troublesome for them to continue their charade, they disappeared with my PC and some other less consequential items.
I jumped on a chat I knew she frequented, told them that I knew she was either there or someone that was could get a hold of her. I said I’d be calling the cops for grand theft (>$1000) if she didn’t show up with it in an hour and a half (about the time it takes to drive from her dad’s house, which it was a no-brainer she’d gone back to).
She showed up 59 minutes later, while I was on the phone reporting the theft early because I was bored. I loudly said, ‘hold on officer, that’s her’ and opened the door to her knock. She gives me the nastiest dagger eyes a 90-something pound girl can give and shoves my PC across the threshold without a word. I slammed the door on her, told the cops to disregard, opened the door, and yelled for her to try not to suck any d’s on the way to the parking lot.”
Dedication At It’s Finest
“My friend told me this fairytale story.
Suspecting his girlfriend of cheating, he bought her an iPad for Valentines Day. Unbeknownst to her, he had actually bought two iPads with matching cases. As she was setting it up he switched the iPads and she believed she needed to start over because the iPad had to be restarted.
This gave him complete access to her texts, email, phone, etc. Sure enough, he discovered that she was texting with others and that she was sleeping with three different guys besides him.
He monitored the texts and instead of just breaking up, he decided to go savage. As she planned a Thursday night assignation with one of her three other lovers (the married one), he took her iPad, and texted the other two telling them they needed to go to WhatsApp because her boyfriend was getting suspicious. He then deleted the texts and began conversations on his phone with WhatsApp with the other dudes and blocked them on the iPad.
He set up ‘dates’ with the other guys at the same rendezvous she was meeting the other dude. To add insult to injury, he texted her parents brothers and sister and invited them to meet there as well under the pretense that he was going to ask her to marry him.
To add even more insult to injury, he contacted the married affair partner’s wife and told her where her husband would be and who he would be with and at what time. He strategically set the times to create the most dramatic impact.
He arrived with her family 30 minutes before his girlfriend was to arrive to meet her married lover. They were already seated at a table when she walked in and greeted a stranger seated at the bar with a hug. Everyone looked confused, but not as flabbergasted as she did when she looked over and recognized her family sitting twenty feet away.
She was formulating her response in her head and trying to make sense of the situation when in walked another of her affair partners who happened to recognize the married first one because they were all three co-workers. An argument quickly ensued just as the third partner arrived.
She realized at this moment that her boyfriend had something to with this convoluted mess and began to attack him. Just as he was beginning to call her out for being a floozy, the wife of her original date arrived and recognized the situations ramifications immediately as her husband was in a verbal altercation with a co-worker over another woman.
‘How could you do this to me!?’ The girlfriend screamed.
‘This is the first time in your life that you aren’t happy to be the center of attention,’ the boyfriend said. ‘You live in an ‘I, me, mine world’ and this is all about you and of your own making.'”
Kept It In The Family
“When I was dating my boyfriend at the time, he was talking to some girl behind my back. My friends kept on telling me that he was losing interest and he was getting a little flirty with some other girl.
A few weeks later, I broke up with him and he acted if he didn’t even care. I didn’t feel satisfied with his reaction (I know, I’m evil) so, I dated his older sister (I’m a girl and bi). His older sister was in Sophomore year, while we were in freshmen. His older sister was always there for me after our breakup and we dated for a few months.
We broke up later though, but we’re still friends till this day. The ex ignored me and he apparently got kinda mad at me. The best part was that whenever I went over to their house, he had to watch me and his sister the whole entire time.”
Bet That Was A Sight To See
“I can’t take credit for the idea. I got the idea from a chain email (I’m old), but I actually did this.
Dating a girl while I was in the Army. She lives about two hours away from post. The relationship is pretty serious, but suddenly she backs off about 6 months in. I’m still going to see her, but she’s more and more distant.
There was a guy I heard in the background of a call once who was talking smack about me. I drive down the next day and he was there. He starts a fight, he loses, she goes to him. I break up with her and bone a mutual friend later that night.
About a year later, she calls me out of the blue. She’s broke up with the dude and has a restraining order on him because he beat her up like it was his hobby. This was absolutely no surprise to anyone who knew them. We talk and it becomes clear she’s just calling for a booty call.
So, I met her at a hotel. She likes it rough and I gave it to her hard as a 21-year-old soldier can – really giving it 110% for a WHILE. She’s screaming, telling me she’s missed it, etc. Finally, I bust all over her.
The second I’m done, I get up and start putting on my pants and shoes. She asks what I was doing. I pull out two dollars, drop it in the mess on her stomach, and walk out.
She’s LIVID. She chases me out the door where there’s people outside their rooms. Our adventure attracted a crowd and now we give them the finale I guess. She’s has nothing on, covered in spunk, beating on the window, cussing me out. I say thanks and drive off.
I look in the mirror at her one last time and noticed the two dollars were stuck to the gravy on her the whole time.”
Stole Them Away
“I’d been seeing a guy for about a month. He was telling me he wanted to sleep together, but I wasn’t ready for that (I still hadn’t been that intimate yet) and thought it was too soon in the relationship anyway.
On a Friday morning, I get to school and he breaks up with me via text!
I find out from his best friend, who I’d gotten on with really well, that he’d already asked another girl out and was taking her out that night. My best friend offers me her spare ticket to a rock gig in town for that night and I go. When I get there, HE is there with his new girl and his best friend. When HE goes off to get a drink, I happen to bump into his new girl, not intentionally, and she asks how I know him. I tell her he dumped me that morning so he could go out with her, because I wasn’t ready to do that with him. She dumps him on the spot and I ask her if she’d like to join me instead (I’m bi and she was hot, so what the heck), she agrees, and after a while his best friend joins us. I dance with, and make out with, his ‘new’ girlfriend and best friend right in front of him. He sulks for a while, looking absolutely livid, and leaves about an hour later.
So, I kinda stole his girl and his friend. We ended up in a poly relationship for about a year until her family moved away. I never heard from the ex ever again. Good riddance though.”
Simple, Yet Effective
“Not me but my parents. Mom superglued dads privates to his stomach while he was asleep. She had found some size 6 panties under the couch, my mom was at least a size 18.”
“Worth It”
“Back in circa 2000, I was a US Navy Corpsman attached to a Marine Corps infantry unit. We ‘docs’ are the healthcare providers who are embedded with the Marines, acting as paramedics/nurses/moms to the Marines.
Every six months, one of the four battalions on our base would deploy routinely to Okinawa and we would leave behind ‘Okinawa widows.’ We literally got a speech by our company gunny when we arrived in Okinawa, ‘What happens on this island, stays on this island.’ I found the speech sickening, but I was 21 and unmarried, so I didn’t give it much thought. For those of you who never served in the US military, adultery is a pretty serious crime, as we have our own criminal justice system and the punishment is disproportionately inflicted on the most junior of our ranks.
Six months after our deployment, we return to our sandy base in the desert of southern California and my buddy discovers that his wife had been cheating on him. My buddy, his wife, and I were all E-4 (3rd Class Petty Officers), but buddy’s wife was sleeping with a Marine Gunny (E-7).
My buddy was obviously furious. He did all the right things, he reported it to our chain of command, his wife’s chain of command, the Gunny’s chain of command. But nothing happened. His complaints fell on deaf ears, which is pretty messed up because if he had been sleeping with a Gunny’s wife, he would have been most definitely punished.
Distraught and defeated, a bunch of us were trying to console him one night at the enlisted club on base over drinks. With tears in his eyes, he looks up to the ceiling and declares, ‘I’m gonna kill that cretin.’
Now, my buddy isn’t the most ‘military’ of our squad. He’s a bit overweight and much more into video games than violence. After all, we were all Corpsmen, the medical caregivers, many of us were non-combatants.
‘Chill out dude. You’re not going to kill him or anyone.’
‘Yeah, you’re probably right.’ He replied.
Fast forward to about a month later: we’re all in the aid station for morning roll call, but buddy isn’t there. He finally shows up just before lunch and I notice he’s been demoted to E-3. He looks upset. We gather around him.
‘Dude, what the heck?!’
‘I told you, I was going to kill him.’
‘You didn’t kill anyone.’ I retort. ‘If you did, you wouldn’t be sitting in that chair to tell us. What happened.’
‘I told you. I killed him.’
Buddy was in charge of our health records computer system, which was connected to the base hospital. The day after we had the drinks where he declared he would kill the Gunny, he went into the health records system and changed the Gunny’s status to deceased, cause of death, venereal disease.
3 weeks after he changed Gunny’s record, the Gunny went for a check up and the hospital staff was very confused. When the Gunny found out he was dead and how he died, there was an investigation. My buddy got charged and convicted of conduct unbecoming (or whatever). He got demoted a rank, lost half his pay for 6 months, and had extra duty assigned for 6 months.
‘Worth it,’ he said with a smile.”
Left Her Hangin
“My ex and I were dating and I was such a schmuck. I drove her everywhere, paid for every meal, and did everything for her. She was such a user. Anyway, come to find out she’s sleeping with this guy from the soccer team. But, how, you ask?
So I’m sitting in study area and this student comes running up to me. He says, ‘We need to talk, in private’ and so I oblige.
His friend shows up, too and I’m starting to get confused. He says: ‘Do you know [my ex]?’
‘Yeah!’ I say.
‘Have you been dating her?’
‘Yeah!’
‘I am so sorry and embarrassed to tell you this,’ he says, ‘but we had been fooling around for months.’ He goes on and on about how he’s really sorry and this isn’t reflective of his personality and he couldn’t allow her to two-time me.
Well, I get to my room and do the math and everything he said made sense. Lies she told me suddenly became clear and I realized this guy had just saved me!
So, I confront her and she denies it. Then she cries and says she loves me. I stayed with her for another little while but ended it.
The best revenge? She began dating this dirtbag and moved thousands of miles to be with him. He was cheating on her the entire time. She posts a snarky message on FB and then calls me saying I was the only one she ever loved and missed me and wanted to fly back. Then, I hung up.”
We’re Cool Now
“I broke my ex-girlfriend’s windshield after she cheated on me the first time. It felt great until I found out she talked her dad into paying to fix it. I loved her dad, he treated me like a son.
Then, when she started dating the guy she cheated on me with, I talked her into sleeping together one night, so cheated on him with me. Then, he dumped her because I sent him pics of the business. Then, neither of us talked to her.
Him and I are cool now.”
It Might Have Been His Fault
“This was many years ago.
We had already broken up, so I slept with a woman who gave me chlamydia (I didn’t plan on this, it just happened).
I went to the doctor and got a prescription to clear it up. I was going to start taking it, but got a call from my ex that night. I could tell by her voice she was trying to ‘make up’ or some such bull, so I played along on the phone. As I did, of course, the thought occurred to me.
I held off on the pills and of course banged the bejeezus out of my ex over the next day or so.
Then, I cut her loose and started taking my pills.
In a sad twist of events, 30-ish years later she friends me on FB. We chat a bit (what your life story over the last 3 decades, etc.), and turns out she can’t have kids. She never stated why, just that she couldn’t. I started thinking.
I was a total dirtbag for that. I regret it. She didn’t deserve that.
I’m sorry for it. I’d like to know if what I did was responsible for her not having kids.
Not sure it’s worth opening up that old can of worms. Nothing will change things.
Again, I deeply regret doing that now.
(I don’t have kids either, but mine is a choice).”
That’s Creative
“My friend went out of town for a couple weeks and when she came back, her boyfriend had another girl living there with her stuff everywhere. Girl wasn’t home, but she had a bunch of stuffed animals.
My friend systematically took string/shoelaces and made nooses for every single stuffed animal and hung them all over the house. Needless to say, they broke up. Very creative revenge.”
More Than The Teacher’s Pet
“My ex cheated on me with a teacher at her school. I called the principal, pretending to be a father of one of her classmates. I told the principal that I would rather have my ‘daughter’ and my ex remain anonymous, basically I just wanted to mess with the teacher.
Principal said, ‘I don’t deal with anonymous calls!’
I said, ‘You think the other parents would like to deal with a school that allows this to happen between student and teacher?’
She calmed down after this, allowed me to explain what my ‘daughter’ had told me, and after hanging up, and stormed off her office. The first thing she did was tell my ex. She being an exceptional student there, she never thought it would be her. It caught my ex off guard and she started crying, automatically incriminating herself and spilling the beans. All the later I know because she called me, for comfort… which is a freaking dirtbag move by itself, but it felt so darn good.”
Not In An “Open” Relationship
“I dated a girl for a year, let’s call her Emily, who told me about the guy she dated right before me. Apparently, he cheated on her with quite a few girls and his response when caught was, ‘why would I want to eat the same sandwich every day?’
A real winner.
Emily also worked for this guy, let’s call him Paul, which made it even worse. They were exclusive, or so he told her at the time, and she broke it off shortly after everything was discovered.
We date a few months after this all took place, things eventually end between us (I broke it off) and a few weeks later, Emily texts me saying that she saw Paul and he still ‘wanted’ her. I guess this was to stir up some jealousy in me or something.
Emily: ‘Paul still wants my kisses.’
Me: ‘Look, we’re not getting back together, but have some self-respect and don’t go back to that guy.’
Emily: ‘Too late, we slept together last week. He’s in a relationship, but he said it’s ‘open’ so it’s all good.’
Me: ‘I guarantee he’s not in an open relationship.’
Emily: ‘He is! He said so.’
Curiosity got the better of me and I looked him up on Facebook, and sure enough he was in a relationship. The new girlfriend looked like a pretty amazing person.
She was a successful professional like him, had her own business, was attractive, had a young daughter, and looked like an overall decent human being.
Me: ‘Emily, he’s not in an open relationship. His last post on Facebook was all about their overseas trip together and how in love they are. Don’t mess with that.’
Emily: ‘It’s open. he said so!’
Me: ‘Ok then, I’ll bet you $20 that it’s not.’
Emily: ‘Alright.’
Me: ‘Ok. I’m going to message her.’
Emily: “Go ahead”
So, I did. Now, here’s where it’s definitely petty. If I had messaged her as myself, what would have happened? Nothing.
So, I messaged her as my ex-girlfriend. I still had her Facebook password, so I logged in as her and sent the new girlfriend a message something like this:
‘Hi Linda! I’m sooooo glad that you and Paul are in an open relationship because I banged him last Thursday and it was amazing!! 🙂 Hope we can be friends! Xoxo, Emily.”
And I waited.
I didn’t have to wait long. About 15 minutes later, I got a message saying: ‘Emily, woman to woman, I need to know how long this has been going on’
I never did collect my $20, but I did feel like the dirtbag police, which is nice.”
She Probably Could Have Done Worse
“I had a boyfriend for about 5 years. We didn’t live together or anything, so one day I’m near his house and, because he worked carpentry, I could never be positive when he’d be home or if he had work at all. I go to his house (townhouse) and there’s an ambulance and cops out front. Obviously, I’m worried. He did narcotics, but nothing hardcore you could OD on. Then, I see this crazy witch from around town getting wheeled out on the gurney. I also notice his car isn’t there.
Hmmmmm.
I knew one of the cops there and he told me this broad smoked crack, got paranoid, and called 911. She told the cops she LIVED there with HER boyfriend. I called him on his cell very casually and confirmed he was working (heard the tools in the background) and played stupid. After cops/ambulance leave, I went inside and went up I his room. I threw his TV on the floor and junk on his bed. Yes, I went there. Then, I went home.
Next day, he calls me (still doesn’t know that I know anything) and ‘admits’ to cheating on me because ‘he felt bad’ (no, it’s because the possession charge was that broad’s third strike). I pretended to forgive him (he never said she was living with him).
A few days later, he takes me out partying to try to mend things. I wait till he’s loaded at the bar, slip outside, pooped in his drivers seat, and flagged down a cab and went home.”
Got Her Locked Up
“When I was 19, I had a job working security when I was in college. My girlfriend ended up cheating on me Christmas Eve. We had plans to attend a New Years party at a friend of hers. It was supposed to be a big party.
Before she and I had met, she had a drinking and driving incident where she crashed into a bunch of cars. She was currently on probation. If she got an MIP, she told me she would go back to jail for six months – her words.
Since I was working security, I was complaining to one of the managers about it. He and many of the other security guys were reserve police officers and were on duty on New Years. Over zealous and excited, they arrested her at the New Years party and cited her for an MIP.
I had a class with her friend and learned she did go to jail and had to take winter quarter off. No clue how long she was locked up.”
Drive By
“I am gay. My boyfriend at the time, who was always a bit of a gold digger, started an affair with Bob, who had a Mercedes, nice condo, and all the toys.
Boyfriend tells me he is ditching me for some made up reason, but mainly it was to attach himself to Bob. It turned out that Bob was a bit of a liar, and all the toys belonged to his boyfriend, Jim.
Jim found out that Bob was fooling around with my ex-BF and kicked him out. By coincidence, I met Jim socially at about the same time. We compared stories and figured out what happened. Jim and I became good friends and started hanging out together a lot. He had to travel on business for a few months and got me to look after his condo and feed the fish etc.
One of the perks was I got to use his Mercedes which I took great pleasure in driving past my ex’s place with the top down and waving.”