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Strange Things People Have Found Themselves Doing After Zoning Out

By Christopher Whelan
January 19, 2018
Shutterstock / Ekaterina Vidyasova

Anyone who’s sleepwalked before knows what it’s like to wake up in a strange place or in the middle of some strange action. Sometimes though, you find yourself doing something weird or unexplainable without being able to use Sleepwalking as an excuse.

Here are some of those strange stories from Redditors who found themselves in the middle of something weird.

Source at the end of the article

Vigorously picking my nose while holding a cigarette and driving; crammed lit cigarette up my nose.

Anonymous

I dropped my pants when going through TSA….For those who fly in the super early morning it can be rough. I purposely didn’t drink coffee so I could sleep on the plane…

I was on the security line, and did the normal routine of taking stuff out of my pockets and putting them in my laptop bag. Then off with the shoes, placed on top of my luggage, then off comes the belt as usual. Then of course when you take off your belt you take off your pants…..uhhh Nope. 

Put them back on and finished up in security. Luckily not that many people fly at like 4:30am.

slayer9019

Painting a picture, take a drink from the paint brush water instead of my coffee.

Lympwing2

When I was around 13 or 14 I woke up in the middle of the night, in my own bed and room, and thought to myself: I need to go home before my parents realize I’m not home. So I sneak out of the house, part of me obviously aware that my parents were sleeping and I needed to be quiet, and walked a block away. Then I realized I had been in my own room and just thought what the hell am I doing. So I walked back and snuck back into bed. So weird

marleylovestrees

Swished my mouthwash for a solid 30 seconds and then just spit it on the floor where I was standing.

popcornpause

More on the next page!

Last night I picked up a box of cereal to put it away. I ended up accidentally taking it with me to bed.

BuffyandtheHellcats

I lived across the street from a gas station and didn’t drive very often. Once I was filling it up, went inside to buy something, forgot I was getting gas, and walked home.

A few days later I reported my car stolen since I couldn’t find it in the apartment garage. About a month later I get a call from the police, saying my car had gone up for auction and only then was it discovered it had been reported stolen. I had to pay about $1500 in impound fees to get it back.

Definitely one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done.

ungulate 

The night before my very first day at work where I have to bring my own lunch. I got all the ingredients out to make my sandwich for tomorrow and immediately after I made it I walked into the living room turned on the tv and ate it.

Sonicman1223

While playing XBOX I got up to get a drink, then sit back down and can’t find my freaking controller. I’m tearing cushions apart, looking under stuff, looking in drawers, etc. Turns out I took a soda out of the fridge and put the controller in the spot I took it from.

KMApok

More on the next page!

Was jogging late at night. A guy reached out his hand in front of me as I passed.

I high-fived him.

Turns out he was hailing a taxi.

Derped_my_pants

Rubbed aftershave in my hair and put gel on my face.

The worst part was that after I put the aftershave in my hair, I laughed at myself, thought, “What was all that about?” and then added the hair gel to my skin.

MisterEvilBreakfast

I had a very long day of computer drafting, think +12 hours sitting and staring at .5mm lines, and got really lost so I asked the person next to me what the hell I did wrong because they seemed like they would absolutely have the explanation. I got most of the way through the answer before I realized not only had I asked my frazzled reflection a question, but I also calmly and matter-of-factly responded. I went home after that.

voixdetonnerre

I meant to put a brand new roll of toilet paper on the roll and instead just threw it in the toilet.

ladybookworm

More on the next page!

When I was in high school and living on the family farm, I used to feed the horses and barn cats every morning. Waking up at 6am for this as a 16 year old guaranteed that I was half asleep. So, I grabbed the cat food like I always did, walked to the table where my cat’s bowl was like I always did, and poured some in. My cat always jumped up on the table right away to start eating right away, and one morning as something jumped up in front of me I absentmindedly pet it as usual. The hair felt a little rough so I looked down and instead of my friendly orange cat, there was a skunk. Just chilling there eating the cat food while I pet its back.

danseaman6

As a teenager, I worked at McDonald’s. My McDonald’s was 24 hours and, during the summer, I worked the overnight shift. My sleep schedule would get all messed up.

My parents woke me up for dinner one evening. I zombie walked to the table and sat down. My dad asked me to say grace. I bow my head and say, “thank you for choosing McDonald’s, may I take your order?”

arndta

Turned around and went back home because I forgot my car keys.

I was driving.

pixlepix

Tried to turn the sun off.

Bad hangover, opened my back door, feeling for the light switch.

No light switch, the light was day.

mauxly

More on the next page!

I used to work at McDonald’s drive-thru. 5 days a week, 8hrs a day; so I had been hard-wired to say, “Welcome to McDonald’s. How can I help you today?” Every single time I heard the headset beep. Straight-up Pavlovian.

One day there was a particularly wily fly that was always just a second ahead of me. I became very focused on killing this fly.

I don’t know how many times I said it before a coworker finally stopped laughing long enough to tell me, but it turns out I’d been saying “Welcome to McDonald’s. How can I kill you today?” To every car in the drive-thru.

Not one customer even paused or acknowledged the fact that Ronald McDonald threatened them with murder. They just wanted their McNuggets.

katieisalady

I work at Sears. During a transaction one time, a guy was paying with a chip card when he asked me what time the store closes. I tried to say “You can remove your card” and “The store closes at 9:00” simultaneously which resulted in “You can remove your close.”

dexterpine

Once I was laying in bed very tired watching tv. All the characters on the show piled into a car together, and I thought for a second “Whoops, I forgot to put my seatbelt on” before realizing I was safely in bed and nowhere near a car.

athena94

Drove to work and realized when I got to the parking lot that I forgot to drop the kids at school. The kids knew too and stayed quiet thinking they’d get to miss school. 

Love those sneaky little brats.

islavistan

More on the next page!

I was getting ready for work and had a contact in one hand and a vitamin in the other. Popped the contact in my mouth and washed it down with a glass of water. I’m sure the stomach acid took care of it.

Miss_Sangwitch

I was making ramen noodles and a pitcher of crystal light at the same time. Berry flavored ramen is….not good.

SalsaPicanteMasFina

During a period when I was unemployed for a few months I got into the habit of undoing my trousers before arriving at the bathroom. This lead to a very embarrassing situation I found myself in when I became employed again and just undid my belt and trousers in the hallway while heading to the toilet! Thankfully I realised what I was doing before I exposed myself to my new coworkers.

username_16

I took the subway home then realized I drove to work.. that was a long night.

FecesInYourFaces

(Source)

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