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Why Harry Potter Is Actually A Huge Jerk. The Events Of Books 1-4 Told From An Unusual Perspective.

By Bobby Popovic
August 26, 2015
Shutterstock / Eugenio Marongiu

If you thought Harry Potter was just the flawless hero, think again. This guy describes the events of the series from Cedric Diggory’s perspective, and it’s absolutely perfect.


I’ve always thought that Hufflepuffs had the best story, and Cedric Diggory’s specifically.

Imagine, at the age of eleven, being sorted into a group that everyone knew was the one for stupid kids. Do you work harder to try to prove them wrong? And even if you do end up getting better marks than a Ravenclaw, what does it matter? It’s just because you spent longer working, it’s not because you’re actually smart. So after a while you realize there is no point in trying–you can’t win, so you either give up or work on fruitlessly. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And then there’s Cedric Diggory. He wants so badly to prove that he’s not inferior. He keeps up Outstanding marks, becomes a prefect, and becomes Captain and Seeker of his quidditch team. He gets his first chance to steal Hufflepuff a bit of glory by going up against Harry Potter, the hotshot new Seeker for Gryffindor. But his first game against him is canceled. I guess it’ll have to wait until next year.

Next year, it’s rainy as hell, but Cedric is finally playing against Harry. Cedric’s been training his whole life for this moment, to finally beat Gryffindor, to finally be better. He catches the snitch! But there’s a fucking dementor on the field. Cedric won by a technicality, and as far as anyone cares, that’s the only way a Hufflepuff can win (perhaps why they care so much about fairness and sportsmanship? Because any advantage makes a victory meaningless?).

So Cedric begs Madam Hooch for a rematch, but she doesn’t care. “Take your win and be grateful,” she says.

A year later, he stumbles upon the absolute perfect opportunity to prove that Hufflepuffs are worth a damn: The Triwizard Tournament. He knows he can do it, he knows he can be the best, that he can finally prove Hufflepuff’s worth.

He submits his name, he waits for months, and on that day, he finally gets the validation he’s looking for. He is chosen. He is selected, out of all the Hogwarts students, as the champion. He will make his school proud, he will make his house stand tall-

Harry. F***ing. Potter.

The newspapers confirm it. Harry Potter is the Hogwarts champion. Not even a mention of the Hufflepuff.

Well, he’ll just have to win. Yeah, if he beats Harry Potter, won’t that finally confirm it? He’ll do his best. The tournament begins.

Why is Harry telling me about the first task? Does he think I can’t handle it? Is he taking pity on me because I’m a Hufflepuff?? Is he just telling me so that if I win, he can blame it on me having more knowledge? F***. I’ll just ingore it, pretend I don’t know, keep it a fair fight….

Second task. Wait, why the hell is Mad Eye giving me clues? Is he taking pity on me because I’m a Hufflepuff?? Goddamn, now I have to tell Harry to make it a fair fight… But I don’t want him to feel the same way I did when he told me… I’ll just give him a hint, that will be more fair.

Third task. I’m tied with Harry. We finally have a level playing field, whoever grabs that trophy first wins all the glory.

5 minutes later: S**T THIS MAZE IS HARD. I’M GLAD IT’S EQUALLY HARD FOR EVERYONE.

10 minutes later: WOW NO IT’S COOL PLEASE TORTURE ME SOME MORE

15 minutes later: Harry says, “We’ll take it at the same time. It’s still a Hogwarts victory.”

Harry, don’t you realize? Tying with a Gryffindor is the same as losing for a Hufflepuff. Nobody will remember me. I’ll be the charity case that you let win alongside you.

But in that moment, he finally realized that’s what Hufflepuff was about. Doing just as well, if not better, but without the praise. To work harder, without the payoff. To be patient, and wait for what we deserve. To have honor, but not for the sake of reward.

And here stands Harry, willing to share an award he probably wants just as badly. Am I going to tell him no? In a final act of selflessness, he agrees to tie with Harry Potter.

…And now we’re in a graveyard.

“Kill the spare.“

F***ing. Harry. Potter.

“Avada Kedavera!“

And then harry snogs his girlfriend.

In other words, Harry ruined Cedric’s life without realizing it. Classic Harry.

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