1. That Islands dont float, you cannot dive/swim underneath them, that they are attached to the ocean floor.
2. That it is called an ash tray, not as ass tray. He didn’t believe me, but had sound logic. He said “but then why are they called cigarette butts?”
3. That if they worked for 7.8 hours it does not mean they are getting paid for 7 hours and 80 minutes…. I had to explain this to an adult multiple times!
4. The earth does not go around the moon. To a primary school teacher. Who left me because she decided I was beneath her intellectually. To the class of 2015, good luck, you’ll need it.
5. That you can drive to Alaska from the U.S. and it is not next to Hawaii. To clarify, I meant the contiguous United States. She thought Alaska was an island like Hawaii.
6. I had to explain that “No, the refrigerator light will not heat up and spoil the food near it. See? It turns off when the door is shut. Yes, I am sure, see this button? Yes, the door makes the light go off by pushing in this button.”
She took the light bulb out anyway “just to be sure”. This was my sister in law.
7. A girl, smart girl, didn’t know where eggs came from. She thought they just came out of a factory like chicken nuggets. When she found out chickens lay eggs her world exploded.
The weird thing about it that she was actually really smart but she never learned about eggs.
8. Last week during dinner, I told my 23 year old, recent college graduate brother, that I was planning on making pickles when we got home. He looked at me dumbfounded with a eye wide eyed stare.
I had to explain to him that pickles did not grow out of the ground as pickles, and are in fact, cucumbers.
9. She refused to understand why her electric bill was higher in the winter.
“That doesn’t make any sense, you’re an idiot, I told you I NEVER TURNED THE THERMOSTAT UP! Jesus, would you listen?!”
“Ma’am, I understand that you did not turn the thermostat up, but it gets colder outside in the winter.”
“I know it gets colder in the winter, you smartass!”
“When it’s colder outside, your furnace has to work harder to maintain the same temperature in your house. That uses more electricity, so your bill is higher.”
“But it shouldn’t use any more electricity, I never turned the heat up! Why aren’t you listening to me?!
10. That the Holocaust was, in fact, not a person.
For those curious, she was my boss when I worked at her hair salon. Bless her heart, she was sweet as a doll, just not that bright when it came to anything besides hair
11. Got into an argument once with my ex over whether or not he had a scrotum, because he firmly believed that “only women had them.
12. To clarify, I grew up in England and have an English accent
Her: What language do you speak where you come from?
Her: No, I mean what actual language did you speak as you grew up?
Me: I grew up in England and we speak English there
Her: You don’t understand we speak English in America, what language did you speak before moving here?
this with your friends!