We’ve all done something embarrassing in a futile attempt to impress someone, but the times we’re doing it for someone we like are the most cringy memories we have. The thing about being cute is that it can’t be forced.
Let these be a lesson to you…
1/36. I once let a girl borrow my shorts cause hers got wet, I walked around the school in my undies until I got suspended.
2/36. Third grade, she let out a very sizable fart as we were all quietly reading. I apologized as if it was mine. She jeered more than anyone else.
3/36. In my last year of high school, I let one of her friends set fire to my arm because she wanted to see what it would look like.
4/36. Man, just a few months ago (was 24), I had a major crush on a co-worker and f*cking meowed at her. Still don’t understand why. I’m not even that weird, it just happened.
5/36. In sixth grade, I changed the way I wrote the number 4 from the field-goal post fashion to the triangle fashion (4), in the hopes that the girl who sat next to me in math class would notice we wrote the number four in a similar fashion and would become infatuated with me. Still write that way to this day too.
6/36. In elementary school I ran into a door on purpose really hard one time when he was nearby just to hear him say, “are you okay?”
7/36. Woke up at 6 am three days a week go to breakfast and sit at a table near his. One time he talked to me about his omelette. That was one of the highlights of my year.
8/36. Walked all over campus in the pouring rain hoping to run into her. It was the last day of class at a big university so I thought I’d never see her again or get a chance to tell her how I feel. It was pretty lame not gonna lie.
9/36. I touched a wild raccoon once because a girl told me to. We were walking together and there was a raccoon sitting on the top of a trash can digging through the garbage. She told me to go touch it or else she would walk away. So, with no real second thought of it, I went up and touched the raccoon’s tail. It didn’t seem to care. Worth it.
10/36. I gave this guy 5 bucks in the fifth grade because I wanted him to date me instead of all the other girls. Instead, he said thanks and never talked to me again.
11/36. I drew a picture of a knight fighting a dragon and wrote a note asking her out. Needless to say, I was unsuccessful.The note began,”Hear ye, hear ye! Art thou single?” It only went downhill from there.
12/36. When I was 8 years old, this girl insisted on me making a little fish instead of the dot on every i, j, etc. So, naturally I did. I will never forget the look on my teacher’s face when she noticed.
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13/36. I went to a month long cooking class so I could make dinner for my coworker who I had a crush on. She told me the food was great and she needed her boyfriend to try it some time.
14/36. In second grade I told my crush I loved him as much as the quantity of foodfish I was going to give the fish. I poured in the whole damn pack( which was bigger than I was at the time). His mom nearly killed us.
15/36. Once in middle school, I wanted to impress the girl I liked. What better way to do that than to jump over a trash can in front of her? I took a running leap and my foot caught the rim. I fell over and knocked trash everywhere.
16/36. We started out as online friends and I became infatuated with her. So I visited her city a few days before her birthday. I got invited to her party and the first thing I said to her was “I am so happy you were born today.” After that I sat in a corner and died a little.
17/36. Dumbest thing I’ve done out of love for my girlfriend is put her panties on my head and do a Squidward laugh. When she gets upset, I do stupid things to make her smile.
18/36. The girl I loved didn’t like classic cars; so I sold my 1966 mustang for her. Then bought a truck because she liked trucks better. She left me a week after I sold my mustang.
19/36. My dumbest thing I did was agreeing and buying a ticket to Cuzco-Machupichu to stay a week with a stranger I met on OkCupid. worth it tho.. he didn’t kill me or sell my body parts in the black market.. but he did steal my heart.
20/36. In the 8th grade, I was about to walk home from school when I saw my crush waiting to be picked up. I acted like I was waiting too so I could talk to him. After an hour of forced convo and waiting (including me looking outside for my “ride” several times), his mom finally picked him up. I stood there for a minute, then walked the one block home.
21/36. Where I live there is a bridge above a really deep river (bridge is only like 8 feet above it) and my crush was there and wanted me to do a flip off it. Naturally, my hormone infused, 16 year old self did it. Worst. Belly flop. Ever.
22/36. When I was 12 I thought I could impress the girl I liked by telling her I knew how to break her (annoying) little brother’s arm. She said, “Thanks, I already did that.”
23/36. Flew 9000 miles to be with my ex despite knowing she was seeing someone else hoping to win her back. Of course it didn’t work. But that led to some crucial much needed life changes. No regrets.
24/36. She told me her favorite pokemon was charmander, so I traded got 6 of them and named them ‘Do you want to go out?’
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25/36. She wanted me to prove I liked her by wearing one of her g-strings to church. Not my proudest moment, but I did it.
26/36. I took a Japanese class in college to see her. Except she had enrolled for a different time. I ended up taking 2 years of Japanese with two independent study courses.
27/36. I was the middleman for my (ex)bfs drug operation. No one suspected a 14 yo white girl reading in the park to be pushing drugs for the city’s biggest gang.
28 When I was in fifth grade I tried to impress the boy I liked by eating some liquid glue (non-toxic). He talked to me for the first time so I considered it a success.
29/36. When I was in grade 5, I gave the girl I liked my holographic Pikachu. She gave it to a boy she liked. I was f*cking devastated.
30/36. I passed up a scholarship to MIT to go to the same college as her. Six months later, she ended up dumping me on my birthday to sleep with a guy who hated me.
31/36. I really liked this guy and I heard him say camel toes were super hot. So I walked around the gym in super tight yoga pants. Yes, there was a camel toe. No, he did not fall in love with it.
32/36. I asked her if she liked cartwheels. She looked at me like I had two heads. I did the cartwheel. Never spoke again.
33/36. I once suggested my ex a song hoping it would remind her of the good times we had. It made her think about her bf at the time. It became “their” song. I now hate that song.
34/36. In the second grade I ate 35 cents (a quarter and a dime) because my crush dared me to. My mother spent a week and a half sifting through my feces to find the change. Found the quarter, but never found the dime.
35/36. Eating some piping hot soup on the sofa with my incredibly uncoordinated girlfriend, she spilt some on her shirt and apologized profusely. I instinctually poured half of my bowl on myself to make her feel more at ease. I still have burn marks.
36. I moved from the United States to Canada for a guy I met on Grindr while I was in Canada on vacation. We didn’t meet in person until after I moved. He wasn’t interested.