Bosses of Reddit were asked: “What is the stupidest thing you have had to fire someone for?” These are some of the best answers.
1/25 I had to fire this kid from a gas station I worked at, after he asked me if I ever poked holes in the condoms with a push pin (as he proceeded to punch holes in condoms). I have no idea how long he was doing it for, he worked there for over a year.
sicklyfun
2/25 Receptionist who forgot to wear pants. I was at a satellite office and had 4 employees call me separately to let me know. There were some previous issues, plus they were pretty sure she was on something.
tleb
3/25 One of the security guys at my company was caught masturbating to porn, during the day, at the main reception desk, by a female PA. When we had his exit interview, we asked him why he did it, and he just said he felt really comfortable at work, and got carried away while browsing reddit. He’d been with the company for years. The best part was a colleague of mine who came back from vacation a week later and asked what happened to “Ron”. Someone said “he was fired” and immediately the guy said “oh what, did he get caught jerking off?” but he didn’t even know…he just got the vibe that Ron would be the type to jerk it at work.
pooping_naked
4/25 Putting a customers info in the system as: first name: don’t care. Last name: smells like shit.
Donnelly14
5/25 One of my technicians used our remote software to start typing to a girl who’s machine he took control of. He opened notepad, wrote “what up slut” and then went to pornhub. Supervisor gets an email about sexual harassment the same day and he’s gone the next morning.
bike_rack
6/25 I had an employee once test out the fire-suppression system at a restaurant. Turns out, it worked great; and we had to shut down the restaurant for four hours in the middle of the day to clean it up.
He’s not the dumbest. The dumbest was the guy that told him the suppression system didn’t work, so that the dumbass would pull it. That guy thought we couldn’t fire him, since he didn’t actually pull the pin.
That’s right, he thought he could dare someone to do thousands of dollars in damage, and wouldn’t get fired.
thepatman
7/25 Employee wrote “asshole” on the bottom of a customers oil filter. Customer decided to change his oil one day…. something something something. Fired.
red98muswha
8/25 I once worked in a retail store where we all had our own access codes that allowed us to do stuff, and if our code didn’t allow us to do it, we weren’t supposed to be doing it. On his first day during training he managed to catch the General Manager’s code as he was typing it in and used it for about a week. Pretty much gave away thousands of dollars of equipment in the manager’s name.
It was particularly stupid because he did it because he still had his trainee position which required somebody to look over most of what he did if he wanted to give discounts, etc. If he had waited another couple of days he would have been moved up to full staff member and could have given out most of those discounts anyway without anybody noticing or caring. He just couldn’t wait to give his friends all the free swag.
overusesellipses
9/25 One of my salesmen had a customer stop during a test drive so he could buy some crack. On the up side he did offer to share it with them.
captdet
10/25 I had an 18 year old employee go to Vegas for a long weekend. He had been late a few times before and had been warned that continued tardiness would result in disciplinary action.
So this Einstein is headed back from Vegas with his buddy after they both blew all their money and they realize that they don’t have enough gas to make it back. He really doesn’t want to be late. Already you are probably thinking of the multitude of options available to these two fine upstanding citizens. They could call saying they were in a jam, they could beg for $20 and see if anyone took pity on them, or they could steal some gas. They chose none of these options.
The two of them decided the best option was to take a handgun from their trunk, go into a gas station, hold it up, and demand exactly $20. They then drove 1 mile down the road to the next gas station where they filled up, paid, and were surrounded by the police as they were attempting to pull back onto the road.
When I first heard what happened I was sure the story must be exaggerated or wrong. I knew the kid wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I never dreamed anyone could do something so amazingly idiotic. It still boggles my mind.
raven2007
11/25 A concessions attendant gave a pot brownie to my 75 year old door person at my movie theatre. She didn’t press charges but he had to go. No paperwork on it either. I had him resign.
sonofpam
12/25 I was the manager of a Papa John’s and a lady called and complained about a driver going to fast near her kids. Driver comes back, and I say, “Pat, a lady called, try and slow it down a bit.” He goes postal in front of a packed audience of pick up customers:
“F*ck you, man. Who’s side you on?”
“Not mad, Pat. Just be careful.”
“Na. F*ck u- shes lying!”
“Pat- dude. Not mad. Just be careful.”
“Ah, no. F*ck that. You and I need to go outside!”
“Calm down, dude. Not mad at ya. Don’t worry”
“F*ck, you! Flpppbbt babble mibble babble!”
“You’re done, man. Go home”
Most awkward pizza firing aside from when this dude tried to kill me when I worked on the coast. Pat’s a nurse now.
royalbailey
13/25 Manager at a delivery joint here, we had to let someone go because they decided to deliver pizzas in a stolen car.
MorallyDeplorable
14/25 I was an editor on my college’s student daily newspaper.
We had a photography staff that would photograph events, sports games, etc. — but they’d also sometimes have to do stupid stock photo type things for feature or trend articles. Anyway, we had two photogs who were apparently in a group of friends that had formed some kind of… snake… cult? (probably had another name that they used, but we called it the snake cult when we found out about it.)
The way we found out about it was that we started noticing this weird symbol in the background of some of our feature article photographs — on a post-it-note in the background of a shot of some library books, or in the shape of the food in a photo of some dining hall food for an article about meal plans. Once we discovered it, we looked back and saw it had been going on for months.
So yeah, we had to fire some photogs for slipping cult symbols into our student paper on a regular basis.
afeastforgeorge
15/25 We worked at a place that bought in used cell phones. She bought a cell phone from a guy and his Facebook was still open. She posted as the guy on his Facebook something like “I’m a big f*cking idiot”. Guy came back to complain. She was fired.
yooki42
16/25 This actually just happened, our supplier came out onto my construction site and cooked everyone a free barbie. This one bloke had a meltdown and almost had a fight with the chef. Their conversation started off like this:
Guy: Where’s the butter?
Chef: Ain’t got no butter mate.
Guy: What kind of barbie is this without any butter?
Chef: A free one, if you don’t like it, don’t have it.
Then the guy blew up yelling at the chef for making smartarse comments and swearing his head off, while the chef thought nothing of it and remained really calm and telling the guy to “take it easy”. Our site does not tolerate this kind of behavior, needless to say we kicked the guy off site ASAP. Lost a job over a free barbie and butter lol.
iamkevin
17/25 One of the lifeguards was really hungover so he took a shit in the pool so we didn’t have to open up for the day.
[deleted]
18/25 I was the assistant manager at a store that had an actual time clock and a point system. For those of you that don’t know a point system is basically just a magnet for turnover; One minute late and you get a point the same as if you are 30 minutes late, call in sick you get two points (if I didn’t log it at least 30 minutes prior to your shift), no call no show and you get 4 points. It took 8 points to get fired at this particular company, and the points were logged at headquarters, not at the facility.
I had a single mother (dad bailed when she was pregnant) that worked for me, and she was the best damn employee any human could ask for; she worked hard, stayed late if it was needed, picked up extra shifts from co-workers that wanted off, and more importantly she was damn good at her job. Well, her son got sick on her way to take him to the baby sitter one day, he projectile vomited blood all over back seat. I saw the car and it looked like a scene from a horror movie. Needless to say, she didn’t call in, she panicked and took him to the hospital, boom she had 4 points.
Over the next two weeks he was in the hospital, and had random tests (the boy was 4) so when those tests randomly popped up she would call in to be with him instead of having the grandmother watch him while she was at work. Twice those tests were announced while she was on her way to work so she had to call in and I understood why she did (I am a father). I didn’t mind working the long shifts to cover her absence, no decent human would have. I received a call the day after her second call in, while the child was being tested, and corporate made my heart sink. I had to fire this woman, whose son was in the hospital, possibly dying, and I had to tell her that she was no longer employed. I spent over five hours arguing on her behalf to corporate, but it was to no avail. She came in the next day, I fired her like I was supposed to, and I immediately quit my job, without notice.
moms_spaghetti-os
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19/25 Forgot cheese on cheese pizza, twice.
FichTacos
20/25 I was managing a restaurant and did morning cash out (I checked all slips against the information in the computer). I noticed a new hire had really good tip averages the day before when I had been paying her out. The next day I was going through her slips and noticed a… discrepancy. Mainly that she had added a 1 in front of each tip and changed the total. How could I tell you ask? SHE USED DIFFERENT COLOR INK!
She was fired and we refunded the money… seriously, at least use the same color ink.
mckeanna
21/25 Worked at a nightclub. One if the workers called in sick, but he was actually going to some party instead. Could you guess where they went after the party? Yes, to our nightclub.
kazador
22/25 One of my cooks asked for a smoke break. Told him to go for it. He hadn’t come back after 10 minutes so I looked out the window. He was smoking a crack pipe.
He came back in, started cooking some food, turned to me and said, “I don’t feel so good. I think I need to go home.” “Yeah Reggie, maybe it’s because you just smoked crack by the dumpster. Get the hell out.” “Nah man, I can still prep.”
I then spent 5 minutes explaining to him why I couldn’t have a crack head using a giant cheese knife. To this day, I don’t think he still understands why he was fired.
djs9pd
23/25 I had a manager steal a bag that a customer had left on the counter. He completely denied it too, and I believed him. But the customer was sure he left it there, and asked to see the video. I hadn’t seen anything odd, so I showed it to him… he pointed out the bag, which we watched until the manager of 10+ years took the bag and left.
Idiot.
1234567891011twelve
24/25 There was one time I had to fire someone because I sent him out on a job that would only take 2-3 hours to complete. Before he left, he mentioned to the receptionist that he was going to make it last all day. She mentioned it to me, and sure enough, he returned over 8 hours later. Being dishonest with a client’s money is not something I was going to tolerate.
CopenKagan
25/25 I told him to stop getting high before work. I even told him he was a good worker when not high, and that I didn’t care what he did off the clock. I literally told him that people could smell weed on him, and that he acted like an idiot while high. He apologized, agreed with me, even offered up the fact that it was, in fact, affecting his work.
Next day: shows up stoned to the bone. Sorry, guy. You’re fired.
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