1/30. Went to a girl’s birthday party where she made everyone there sit in a circle and say their favorite thing about her. She even told her boyfriend that if he didn’t come up with something good enough, she was breaking up with him.
She was turning 21.
We don’t speak anymore.
2/30. My cousin has started taking her kid into book stores and posing him with different books- like textbooks WAY beyond the reading level of a 7 year old then taking a picture to post to Facebook with a caption like “Anthony picked this advanced quantum theory book up all by himself and won’t let me take it away from him! My boy is so smart!”
It’s too bad because in reality he has a serious eye problem that makes it so he can’t read and probably needs to be in special ed for some learning disabilities. She’s doing him no favors but would rather put on a social media show than be a parent.
3/30. “I know 98% of you won’t share this. Time to find out who my REAL friends are by sharing this. If you can’t be bothered to share this then you might as well just unfriend me right now.”
4/30. A good friend’s sister was not getting enough attention during my friend’s wedding and decided to start crying loudly during the ceremony to a point where the bride and friends had to go and comfort her.
My friend said this was completely normal behavior when she is not the center of attention.
5/30. I knew a girl in middle school who lost a lot of weight after being put on ADHD medication. She used to swan around and complain loudly about how she was never hungry anymore and she just couldn’t stop losing weight.
She stopped doing it after some guy told her, “Really? Don’t worry, it’s not noticeable.”
6/30. One of my former friends is boldly, unapologetically narcissistic. Most cringe-worthy recent quote:
“I can’t even eat Italian food in America anymore because it was soooo good in Italy. Totally ruined it for me.”
Said as loudly as possible at a friend’s birthday dinner at an Italian restaurant. She had been to Italy once for maybe three days.
7/30. People who ‘accidentally’ post a carefully arranged and posed selfie.
“Oh my gosh, my dog accidentally took this photo of me?!”
“Oops, I accidentally uploaded this to my Instagram! Such a klutz!”
8/30. I knew a girl who pretended to have amnesia due to mental and emotional trauma from her boyfriend dumping her, so she started a Facebook group for all of her friends to get together and tell nice stories about her to try to jog her memory.
9/30. Two of my dearest friends just had their first baby. These two people are the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. Everyone they love always comes first and they do everything and anything they can to help should you need it. She was in labor for almost 40 hours, had a bunch of complications and we were honestly worried for her safety.
When her sister arrived at the hospital (30+ hours into labor), she walked toward the birthing room, collapsed in the doorway and had herself a pretty little “panic attack” on the floor in full fetal position. FOR NO REASON. So my dear friend had to force herself to “be strong” for her ailing sister while she was still in active labor.
I still want to punch that woman’s face.
10/30. A friend of mine would start to feel left out if he wasn’t involved enough in the conversation, or if his older brother and friends were having a conversation that he wasn’t involved in. He would just start laughing out loud, and say “Oh sorry, I just remembered something really funny” and keep laughing.
Of course he’s fishing for someone to ask what he’s laughing at so he can start to tell his story or joke or whatever. It was pretty pathetic.
11/30. One of my roommates is the absolute worst when it comes to this. She’ll come up to me and start yelling in my face about how she wants my attention, or some of whatever I’m eating. Unfortunately for me she’s really close with my girlfriend, so I put up with picking up her poop and taking her on walks.
12/30. I have a coworker who will be like, “Did you see my picture on Instagram?”
“Yeah I liked it.”
“Well… You didn’t LIKE it….so….”
13/30. I remember a girl in school who went around showing everybody her drawing saying, “look at this terrible drawing, ugh it’s so terrible I wish I was better at drawing,” expecting people to tell her, “No, it’s great!”
14/30. Good friend’s dad died. As the family was putting his ashes out at sea, the mom had somebody else take pictures of her and her grieving kids and then she posted them on Facebook. The kids were pissed, for good reason! Don’t exploit your crying children for Facebook likes!
15/30. I have a friend that has been engaged with every boyfriend that she has ever had. Every year she gets a new boyfriend and every year she makes a big show and announcement of her engagement on Facebook followed by dozens of pictures of her with the new guy calling him hubby and talking about the married life and how she “feels like she was already married to him”.
A few months will go by and then we lose track of the guy and her on Facebook… and then out of the blue another one appears and is the same cycle all over again. I swear this woman looks like she just likes to collect engagement rings and is pulling one heck of a prank on all these idiots.
16/30. When people use too many curse words to seem cool. If it doesn’t come naturally, you end up sounding stupid.
17/30. Dude who told everyone that he’s gonna work out just to carry his girlfriend. Did push ups in the office for everyone to see.
His girlfriend is pretty small.
18/30. I use to receive $20 each week for school lunches. We’d run up this rather long path to the strip mall. Subway, 7/11, grocery store, etc and have lunch each Wednesday/Friday. Being a rather skinny kid who couldn’t possibly consume $20 worth of food, I would use more than half of it to treat my “friends.” I like the instant praise I received when I would buy them a slurpee or snack. However I didn’t really hang out with anybody after school, or get invited to big parties. I was just a rich kid in a pool of leeches. Kids would approach me and ask me to spot them $2, which I happily did, only to 180 and ignore me shorty after. I knew that we weren’t all truly friends, but I did because for that 30 minute session each week I felt accepted.
Now I’m in my 20s, realizing I lost a few hundred dollars in middle school because I wanted to belong.
19/30. A gorgeous girl with 5000 Facebook friends saying stuff like “I’m ugly” and “Nobody likes me” on her wall.
20/30. I have a Facebook friend who I don’t really know but I accepted her friend request to not seem mean.
She periodically sends me messages saying she is in love with me, always after a very public breakup with the flavor of the week. If I don’t reply quickly enough, she sends dirty pictures. No provocation, nothing…just sends them.
21/30. A while ago, someone I know made a big show on Facebook that they were pregnant with a new boyfriend that they had only just met. The announcement was a photo of the pregnancy test and she must have been like only a couple of weeks or whatever.
This was after she had status up saying that they were trying, and everyone was commenting saying “you just met the guy, isn’t it too fast?”
A week later after her announcement, turns out she wasn’t pregnant. So she put this status up saying that she was devastated and that she’ll never forget Rose and that she loved Rose and that she can’t be replaced.
Every day for about two weeks she kept re-sharing her status looking for sympathy.
Scary that such immature behavior can come out of a 25 year old.
22/30. At a Target store in the US, we had a visit from a regional manager to one of our stores. A cashier went out of his way to walk alongside the store manager during the tour with the regional managers almost unnoticed. When they all realized he was walking with them, he blurted out this long winded story. “I just wanted to come by and let you know that a relative was shopping at Walmart not me personally, cuz I would never shop Walmart! She came by my house in tears at how disgusting the shelves were over there and she promised me shed never return and will only shop at Target from now on. How’s that for a bullseye, eh guys?”
You could see the stars in this kids eyes, like he thought his story would lead to some Cinderella moment where the managers would point out his moxie and fast track him to be CEO or something. Instead they all slowly cringed back and walked away from the store manager and the cashier.
23/30. “This may make some of you mad but I’m about to speak my mind on this subject.” Person then proceeds to give opinion that 90% of their Facebook friends agree with.
24/30. Went to a friend’s wedding, and got sat next to this lady who wouldn’t shut up about studying Optometry. Every time someone brought up a neutral topic she’d always twist it around and loudly remind the group that she was studying optometry.
“So what TV shows are you guys keeping up with?”
“I don’t really watch any TV since I’m caught up in my Optometry coursework!” *giggles*
“Any… Uhh.. Travel plans for this summer?”
“No, it’s so tough to make that kind of time since I’m really close to graduating from the !!!Optometry program!!!”
We all just started to pretend that she didn’t exist. I guess she really had nothing else going on, in life. She just kept drawing attention to that, which made it so much worse.
25/30. I have a friend who is pretending to go to college. He is from the Bronx but lives in my friends apartment. Even worse, he was kicked out by the landlady but is staying since my friends kinda felt bad about situation. He constantly sleeps in and says class is cancelled, but we saw his school account on his laptop and he is officially not a registered student. He constantly says he acing all of his classes, he even leaves the house to go to his ‘internship’ for school, even though you have to be a registered student for that very program.
He actually works nights (posts it on snap chat stories and crap) and always says how hard it is balancing everything, on top of going for a masters degree. Its pretty insane.
So he is basically lying to his friends and family about going to school, and wasting money on rent and traveling to and from Manhattan all to promote a farce.
26/30. There’s a video online of this set of twins that tried SO hard to finish each others’ sentences that they could barely talk?
27/30. Facebook posts to dead people. “Ohhhh, Grandma, it’s been 10 years since you died and I still miss you every day.” Who is that for, exactly?
I understand updating people if somebody dies, but to keep calling back to it and actually talking to the dead person just strikes me as weird and attention-seeking.
28/30. This girl in high school went around with a piece of paper that represented her self-esteem. Every time someone was mean to her she would tear off a piece. She said it would take ten nice things for a piece to be taped back on…
29/30. My dog begged me for pets, but when I didn’t pet her enough…
SHE WENT UP TO A COMPLETE STRANGER AND ASKED TO BE PETTED.
She does this with food too.
30/30. Jennifer and Courtney had been best friends for like 5 years. They were as close as I’ve ever seen two people.
Jennifer was, unfortunately, not from a very wealthy family. She’s extremely kind and humble, and reminds me a lot of the Weasley family from Harry Potter (but with fewer siblings).
Courtney, on the other hand, is immensely wealthy. She spent nearly every school holiday on some extravagant vacation. Cruises, European tours, weeks in the Bahamas, everything you could imagine.
One time she came back from a trip acting very sullen and withdrawn, and wouldn’t tell anyone why. She eventually tells Jennifer that she was assaulted on the last cruise she was on, and has missed her period since then. Despite telling Jennifer to keep this to herself, Courtney went on to tell everyone she could. The sympathy for this terrible event was overwhelming. A few weeks later, Courtney informed everyone that she had decided not to keep the baby. Everyone was very supportive, and Jennifer gave her a necklace that she had received from her now deceased grandmother, a very beautiful diamond cross on a gold chain.
Months pass, and Courtney’s mom accidentally outs her. None of that had happened; there was no cruise, no assault, no traumatic doctor visit. Courtney admitted that it was all a lie, but her defense was that “people liked Jennifer more than her.” Pretty much everyone cut off contact with her after that.
And the cherry on the sundae? She pawned the necklace.