It’s hard to get through a day of school without a little bit of comic relief. Here, amused people share the most memorable thing their “class clown” ever did.
1. Spray painted the words “Stop Vandalism” on the side of the school.
2. Built a functioning bong in art class during our clay unit. While the teacher admired his craftsmanship, he had to report it and couldn’t let the guy take it home.
3. In science class we had hot plates to heat up experiments. I kid you not this kid started making a grilled cheese on the hot plate. The teacher was like what’s that noise/smell? She looks over to see this kid flipping his grilled cheese on the hot plate, it was sizzling and everything. She tells him to go to the dean’s office, so he stands up takes a bite out of his sandwich and walks out.
4. Most memorable to me, was when he took the blame for throwing an eraser at a teacher and knocking her toupee off. I didn’t do it on purpose, I have a terrible aim and it happened so quick. She’s going nuts asking who did it, and he calmly stands up and says,”It was me, but keep your hair on, it was an accident. I was aiming for your glasses.
5. Farted louder than I’ve ever heard in my life. I’m talking wall shaking, stomach rupturing, ripped open butthole loud. Wouldn’t have been that big of a deal if he hadn’t done it during the middle of our math final.
Then as everyone turned to look his way I just happened to be the unlucky guy sitting behind him. (continued…)
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He pointed directly at me. Cue laughter from the entire hall of students and our solemn and usually grim teacher. He may have been the one laughing the hardest.
He got me good. We’re still best friends today.
6. During a class presentation he had his “assistant” turn off the lights. He then put a flashlight under his head so only his face was illuminated. He started saying things like, “Prepare to be amazed”, “Science rules”, and “Welcome to a world of wonder.”
He then paused and said, “Please observe what I do with this applesauce.”
The lights turned back on and he poured an entire jar of applesauce down his pants. This was a high school biology class. The teacher was in shock and I don’t think I’ll ever laugh that hard again.
7. First grade. Kid threw his chair out the open window because he didn’t want to do Spanish class. Determination.
8. Dressed up like the girl he hated for Halloween, complete with wig and glasses and his sister’s school uniform. School called his parents to pick him up halfway through the day.
9. I got sent to the principal’s office with eight random kids once during lunch for detention. Ticking clock in the background and silence as we sat in a circle.
The principal was intimidating and would announce each student’s full name, asking them what they did wrong, then giving them additional punishments based on what they did.
He gets to one kid and announces, “ALEXANDER BURGER”. Some smart-aleck kid chimes in out of nowhere, With a small fries and a large Coke, thanks mate.
It wasn’t the most insane class clown thing I’ve seen, but we all burst out laughing. I’ve never been in a situation since that went from being so insanely tense to relaxed and funny with such a swing.
10. Once, this kid called “Joe” walked into the classroom and realized the blinds fell down on one of the windows. Joe wanted to do something nice and put the blinds back up. Now Joe was THE class clown, hilarious in every way and a headache for the teachers.
So the teacher walks in and sees Joe fidgeting with the blinds, and immediately starts yelling at him. “JOOEEE! What the hell are you doing?! Those blinds came from my mother and YOU RUINED THEM!”
Joe just stops dead in his tracks and stutters, “I… I was just trying to help. I came in and they were like this.” Another classmate and I tried to affirm that, and explain it to the teacher. (continued…)
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She wasn’t having it and started yelling and cussing. So Joe said screw it. He ran down the hallway and said, “Oooooohhhhh I’m telliiinnngg! I’m getting Mr. Clark (principal).”
The teacher just left, went outside, smoked a few cigarettes, and then quit on the spot.
It was supposed to be 6th grade religion class, by the way.
11. In 5th grade, he caught a cricket on the playground, then brought it to class, yelled for everyone to look at him, and then ate it.
12. Found a way to change the scrolling marquee screensaver’s text. Across the network.
I have no idea how he did it, but he managed to change the screensaver’s across the whole school to say “My Balls Are Huge”. Which is a great start to the story.
Apparently one of the librarians saw the entire library bank of computers scrolling this, and fainted. Investigations ensued, and he was caught because he hadn’t bothered to cover his tracks or anything.
He got pulled into the office. Him, his dad, the vice-principal, and the “traumatized” librarian (and a fortunately open door to the rest of the office, hence us knowing this story). There was a long tirade about the consequences of his actions, the “distress” he had caused the poor librarian, etc. Finally, at the end of it all, he was asked if he had anything to say for himself. And he did.
“I was referring to my basketballs.”
Straight face. The vice-principal and his father both actually laughed; the librarian was enraged. And promptly told to calm herself down, by a still snickering vice-principal. He got a whopping single day of suspension, during which his father took him out for lunch.
13. Moron glued his mouth shut with gorilla glue for 10 bucks… He didn’t get paid.
14. Wore a bra outside of his clothes to school on Opposite Day. This was in 5th grade.
15. Was chosen during popcorn reading. Rather than read the paragraph he let out a minute long fart.
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16. This was a two-person job, but one created a distraction to occupy the substitute teacher, while the other changed the video tape from some stupid history channel video that you always watch when there’s a sub, to a porno. We only got to watch the porn for about 45 seconds, but still.
17. This was my friend’s school, but this kid came to school dressed as The Flash and just ran around campus and through classrooms all day.
Administrators were trying to catch him and after a security guard chased him down in the lunch courtyard he got sent to the principal’s office. As he was going into the office, the kid who was leaving turned to the principal and said, “Dude, you can’t punish The Flash!”
The principle must have agreed because he didn’t get in any trouble.
18. In my senior year economics class, our teacher was a 70-year-old woman that had been teaching at the school for at least 40 years. We would mess with her constantly.
One day the window was open and I was in the seat right next to it. Another guy in the class gives me a tennis ball and tells me to throw it at him when Dr. Apt was not looking. I had no clue what he was going to do but I agreed.
When she turned her back to me but could still probably see him out of the corner of her eye, I tossed the ball with some force but not much and it hit him in the face. He then proceeded to scream in agony and fall over bringing his whole desk down with him in a extremely slapstick manner.
She ran over to him and asked him what happened and he said someone pelted the ball at him from out the window while still writhing in pain on the ground. She ran over to the window and spotted three kids in the courtyard outside the classroom and called them over so she could yell at them, but none of them knew what was going on at all and denied it.
She told them if none of them would fess up she would call the principal and they would all be in trouble they all remained confused and stood their ground she ended up calling the principal and he took them to his office.
19. I was walking around with a few mates one day when we noticed a weird worm-like thing on the pavement. We scraped it off the ground and guessed it was one of those plastic sticky hands that you slap onto people, although we weren’t 100% sure cause it was mouldy, torn, grey and had clearly been stuck there for months.
Three of us offered the class clown $2 each to eat it – for the princely sum of six bucks, he did. Nearly threw it up at one stage but managed to keep it down in the end.
20. Pulled a pipe and some weed out and took a hit right in the middle of math class without the teacher finding out. The teacher didn’t know what the smell was or where the smoke came from or who even did it so she just pretty much got mad at everybody for not paying attention and got back to teaching. She was completely oblivious. She obviously had never smelled weed before in her entire life.
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21. This one time at band camp he stole some kid’s blue juice (valve oil for instruments) and chugged about a quarter of the bottle purely to piss him off.
He got REALLY sick after an hour or so and we didn’t see him again until a week later.
22. In 7th grade we had a class rabbit. Our teacher fed it Welch’s Fruit Snacks and we would always beg her to give us some, but they were strictly for the class rabbit.
Well this one kid who was always joking and playing pranks and doing weird stuff stole ALL of the fruit snacks when the teacher left the room for a few minutes. He literally ate all of them, maybe like 20 packs? He hid the wrappers in his backpack. When the teacher came back she was so livid and didn’t believe us that he did it all alone, and so we all got punished.
He seriously looked pleased as pie and the rest of us were pissed we didn’t get any fruit snacks.
23. This is pretty tame, probably because it happened in the early 90s.
We had a teacher, Mr A, who was very strict, very serious, very high regard for himself, very Italian. This man rocked the thickest moustache I had ever seen. Nothing “fancy,” no handlebars or waxed works of art. Just a full, glorious ‘stache that Burt Reynolds would envy.
We had been working with fun fur (thick & bushy fur) for an art project. Another kid and I jokingly made faux moustaches out of it and used double-sided tape to wear them. The art teacher, who was young and new to the profession, kinda-sorta dared us to wear them to Mr A’s class. We went one step further. We made moustaches for everyone.
Mr A typically strode into the classroom with disregard for all of us until he had written whatever was important for that day on the board. Somehow a class full of dumbarse 9th graders managed to keep our heads down and not laugh. We waited for that moment when he turned to face us….It could not have been more perfect. The absolute stunned look on his face, followed by the loudest, not laugh, but straight out guffaw. He loved it and insisted we keep them on for the whole class.
Almost 20 years later and that moment is still clear as day in my memory.
24. Kid in our English class named Eric walked in one day, went straight to the fish tank in the back, pulled a fish and placed it in his wallet. Asked to use the restroom right as class started. Let the fish loose in the toilet.
Thirty minutes later asked to use the restroom again, and retrieved the fish. When he placed it back in the tank the look on the teachers face still causes me to laugh uncontrollably eight years later.
25. A friend of mine once decided it was a good idea to sled down the stairs of his house in a cardboard box. The next day, he came in with a cast on his broken arm. I’m sure we all had a lot of fun signing it about how stupid and awesome the injury was.
20 years later, he’s a rising actor in Hollywood. He was featured in a Super Bowl commercial, had a speaking part on the show “The Middle,” and recently had a pretty good speaking part on “Shameless,” among other things.
I guess the joke’s on us. He was preparing for comedy at a young age.
(He’s a great guy, too).
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26. Our senior prank was to pour instant concrete mix next to all of the doors to the school and put a pitcher of water next to it, so if someone opened the door, the pitcher would spill and mix with the concrete.
Harmless right? Well, it rained that night after they placed everything down. Our school was closed for 3 days while they tried to figure out what to do, since none of the doors would open far enough to let anyone in.
27. Ordered a pizza to the window of our math class and actually made the transaction through the window.
28. Our math teacher was away one class and we got stuck with a substitute teacher from hell. He comes back the next day and tells us that he was at a riddle competition; yes, a riddle competition. The class was pretty pissed about having that substitute teacher and our teacher starts bragging about winning first place and how he can solve any riddle. So naturally, our class clown gets up and drops this riddle.
You are a bus driver. There are 10 passengers. On the first stop 3 people get on, 5 get off. On the second stop 2 people get on, 3 get off. On the final stop 8 people get on, 4 get off. What color are the bus driver’s eyes?
Our teacher tries to be smart and answers:
That information was not provided.
To which our clown replies:
Yes it was, dumbarse. YOU are the bus driver.
He got suspended.
29. I was in seventh grade Spanish class. The class clown in this scenario was a short, overweight boy named AJ. He and our teacher were never really on good terms, him being the class clown and hungry for attention. One day when she was turned around writing something on the board he tried to climb out the window. Our class was on the first floor. He was halfway out the window when she turned around and lost her shit. Man I loved public school.