1/30. My Uncle was extremely drunk, and during the objection part, he just screamed, “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH,” followed by silence and everyone looking at him.
Turns out he found a $20 bill on the ground.
2/30. I was in the army with a woman who had run off to join the service after her big church wedding was interrupted by a woman who stood up and announced she was having the groom’s baby.
My friend started beating the groom with her bouquet, the mother of the groom started beating the bride, the mother of the bride got involved, and then it was a free for all, with all the screaming cussing and fainting you would picture.
I wish I could have seen that.
3/30. I was at a friend’s sister’s wedding; it was a really traditional Christian ceremony in a big church. When the minister asked if anyone objected, some guy stood up and screamed,
“You’ve ruined my life, Amy. My heart will never mend.” Then he stormed out.
No one knew who he was and the bride’s name is Harriet.
4/30. I didn’t have a traditional church wedding, but my husband’s mother showed up at the courthouse to yell one last time about how I probably have STIs (because I wasn’t a virgin), how I’d never belong in the family (we’re different races), and how we were rushing things (we’d been best friends for 13 years before being ‘together’).
I haven’t spoken to her since; he’s spoken to her twice since, both times to tell her she’s not welcome in our lives until she apologizes.
5/30. My friend married his girlfriend in his southern (Italian speaking) swiss hometown.
During the ceremony, a girl crashes through the door, obviously drunk, and starts cursing in Italian that the bride can not get married in white in a church as she is not a virgin and is not “pure.” The whole audience is stunned and waits for the reaction of the couple or someone in general. Suddenly the groom’s mother stands up and screams at her in the most vicious voice I’ve ever heard, “Manuela, shut up, everyone knows you take it up the butt!”
I’ve been told that the girl was the grooms high school girlfriend but he left her as she wanted to wait till marriage.
6/30. The best line I’ve ever heard an officiant say is, “If anyone has any objections to why these two should not be married, now is not the time. You had years leading up to this point, but please do find me after the wedding because I love gossip.”
7/30. My dad’s seen an objection – he volunteers at a church. The bride and groom were siblings, and their father hadn’t told them until he objected (I believe he was estranged to both of them). They already had a kid apparently.
8/30. I once catered a wedding where someone should have objected but didn’t. After the ceremony the mother of the bride caught the groom making out with one of the groomsmen.
9/30. My friend’s mum is English and his dad is Irish. Apparently when they got to the church to get married, the priest objected, and wouldn’t let her in. Bad blood between the English and Irish and all.
She may have been the same religion as the priest, but that apparently didn’t stop her from punching him in the face and knocking him to the ground.
10/30. I used to shoot wedding videos, and there was a wedding where we drove nearly 80 miles to San Francisco to film it.
Right in the middle of the ceremony, the bride’s mom objects. I turned my camera to her to catch the sweet action, only to hear her say that she slept with the groom once. The wedding didn’t continue and nobody was surprised by that.
11/30. At my uncle’s wedding a dog started going wild and barked right after the “forever hold your peace” line.
The marriage ended up being a huge mess, only lasted a year or so. Darby knew what was up.
12/30. I worked as a photographer at a wedding chapel on the Vegas strip. We had a young Chinese couple come in with their friends to get married. The minister did his normal speech but when it came down to the vows I could tell something was wrong.
The groom kept putting the ring on the brides finger and taking it off hesitantly. This went on for a few uncomfortable minutes. At one point the groom asked the bride if there was someone else and she said yes.
They decided not to get married but their friends still bought the DVD.
13/30. I was performing the ceremony. I ask the question as a part of the liturgy, and a guy gets up after the question and says, “Yeah, I object. That’s my wife.”
Bride’s mother is the only one to speak, and she says, “Who is that? AARON?!”
Sensing that something was amiss, I say, very calmly, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats while we conclude this.” I pull the guy aside, and he claims that they got married at 18, she abandoned him and they never divorced. He had been trying to get a hold of her, and he actually told her that if she didn’t at least get a legal divorce, he would show up at her wedding. She had just ignored it like it would just go away, never returned a call – basically just walked out at age 19, never returned.
So I ask the bride to step aside, with her parents. They say, “You never divorced him?” I’m in panic mode as I don’t know what to do. If she was still married, I couldn’t marry them. The groom comes over, ready to fight – me, the husband, anybody.
Complete disaster. Wedding was cancelled. They married a year later after the divorce went through, in a small private ceremony. And here’s the kicker: 2 years later she just walked out on him.
14/30. My sister was getting married up on a mountain near Telluride at the end of the summer. It was a beautiful evening, a beautiful ceremony in general. My sister and her fiance had a dog, we’ll call him Badger, and they took him everywhere. He was absolutely massive, but extremely well trained and knew every trick in the book, which actually ended up backfiring when they brought him to their wedding.
When it got to the “Speak now…” part, or some variation thereof, Badger let out the most perfectly-timed, earth-shaking, thunderclap of a bark you can imagine. Following a brief moment of shocked silence everyone in attendance burst into a gale of laughter that went on for a good couple of minutes–a number of people, my sister included, were in tears by the end of it.
15/30. A friend of mine was getting married to this girl no one liked. His three groomsmen actually spent the hours leading up to the wedding trying to talk the groom out of the wedding and also drinking a liter of whiskey in one of the back rooms of the church. By the time the ceremony started we were all pretty inebriated.
As the objection part came up, the groom’s brother stepped forward and stated loudly that he objected. There were collective gasps and no one really knew what was happening. Kyle stepped up and put his arm around his brother’s neck, pulled him to the side, and they proceeded to have a 10 minute conversation. We later we found out Kyle had left his truck running in the alley, right outside the back door and was trying to convince his brother to bail right then and there.
After the conversation with his brother, Kyle stepped over to the bride and pulled her aside. After a five minute conversation he pulled them closer, had one arm around each and they were whispering in a huddle. Finally Kyle stepped back, resumed his spot and loudly stated, “Let em get married I guess.”
There was audible sighs of relief after what seemed an hour of tension and the wedding went on without any other problems. Still laugh about that.
16/30. This was about ten years ago, and my dad and his buddy got really drunk at our house one Saturday afternoon, then decided to go cruising in my dad’s truck (like responsible adults). A few blocks from the house there is a really popular outdoor wedding venue, and as they drove by, a wedding was occurring. They slowed to a crawl to creep on the nuptials, and as the minister got to the objections bit, my dad leaned really far out the window and screamed, “YEAH BUDDY, THE BRIDE IS A SKANK!” then cackled and drove off.
Fast forward about a year, and dad is at the neighborhood gas station. He parks at the same time as this other guy, who gives him a weird look and follows him in. As dad collects his miscellaneous stuff from around the store, the guy is still staring at him. Dad pays, the dude follows him out, and asks if he’d interrupted a wedding about a year before.
Dad sheepishly admits to it and apologizes. The guy said he recognized the truck and asked if my dad knew something he didn’t. My dad said he was just drunk, and the guy informed him that he found out about a month after the wedding his bride had been screwing his best man for months up to the wedding. Then thanked my dad.
17/30. Was at my bosses daughters wedding. Her ex stood up right as the minister said the whole “If any object, speak now…” and professed how in love he still is with her.
Then the bride just goes off about how bad he treated her and how he used to beat her and make her feel worthless. Two guys got up from the back row and dragged him away as he was crying.
18/30. My husband and I got married in Jamaica. The Jamaican wedding ceremony is very long and the minister really focused on the whole “if there is any reason why this couple, ANY reason at all…” and then paused for (I kid you not) 30 seconds.
My sister-in-law was standing up for me and there was a raised altar area, so her 2-year-old son was down below. Right at that moment, he decided he had enough and started screaming at the top of his lungs “No-o-o-o-o-o-O-O-O-O!!!!!!!!! Everyone was shocked for a moment, and then when they realized who had objected, they started laughing.
19/30. The person didn’t say, “I object.”
But, when the minister said, “Does anyone know any reason whatsoever why this man and this woman may not be lawfully wedded?” a person in attendance said, “Yes, I know a reason – she’s still married to another man.”
Turns out he was accurate. The bride-to-be had been married before, and thought her divorce in California was over. But some snag in the legal process prevented it from becoming final – so legally, she was still married to another man.
At that point, the minister announced that the ceremony could not be completed until the matter was resolved. It was among the most awkward moments I’ve ever witnessed.
20/30. My cousins dad is a jerk. He showed up to his ex wife’s sister’s funeral to scream at his ex wife and daughter. He was forcibly removed from the church by the deceased’s husband and son.
So when this guy showed up at his daughters wedding, you can probably guess how it went down. We were all actually super surprised how well behaved he was. Then the priest said “If anyone has any reason that-“
“YEAH I GOT A REASON!”
Audible groans happened. A few of my uncles got up to remove the guy from the church. He kept screaming profanities the whole time.
21/30. My cousin had an obsessed ex-girlfriend object at his wedding.
It was awkward, but not as awkward as when she publicly accused him of sexual assault.
And even that wasn’t as awkward as when three more women stepped forward.
And two were proven to be legitimate claims.
22/30. I was doing photos at a wedding a few months ago, and when that question came up, the best man belched loudly, then took another swig from his beer bottle.
People laughed, and the ceremony continued.
23/30. My father comes from a deeply Irish-Catholic family, so when he decided to marry my non-Irish, non-Catholic mother that didn’t sit so well with my granny.
Day of the wedding: My granny says that she is allergic to dogs. While inside of the church, she says that because everyone has dog hair on them, she is having an allergic reaction. She insists that she must go to the hospital right now. She takes the groom and the father of the bride (why??) with her to the hospital, leaving her own husband behind. She basically took the two people necessary to have the wedding. Oh and this happened 30 minutes before it was supposed to start. My granny goes to the hospital, the doctors tell her she isn’t having a reaction, and they come back.
They did get married, and I am here. She is still mad that I exist since I was raised Protestant and technically my parents, in her eyes were never married because it was in a Protestant church.
24/30. So I’m attending this ultra chill beach wedding in small town Canada. The groom is from Trinidad and Tobago, so all his relatives traveled a long way and had cool accents, there was a party before; we were all a little bit tipsy.
So as the ceremony progresses, everyone is watching, gettin’ teary from the vows. Then the line comes, “….any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony speak now.”
The father of the groom gets up, flailing, and a collective gasp followed by silence overtakes this tiny venue. We’re all waiting with baited breath but, he’s just standing there with glassy eyes. Turns out he was baked; this 70+ man in a suit and dreads laughs and says, “No, I kid, I kid,” and the whole audience cracks up.
For the rest of the reception, people are going up to him saying ‘good one’ or scolding him. Was a good night. Best wedding I’ve been to.
25/30. My dad got kicked out of my sister’s wedding because he got drunk and proclaimed the marriage a sham in front of everyone in the church.
He ended up being correct.
The man she married was disabled (Legally blind, and going completely blind) and she had married him because his family had money. She had my nephew, realized she wasn’t going to get any money from him and ran off about a year later. He raised my nephew alone, remarried, and has a wife and more kids now. My sister is still a scumbag to this very day.
26/30. My mom objects, but she is far too passive aggressive to have actually stood up and said anything at the wedding. Instead, I got eye rolls in the wedding photos and a check made out to just me with my maiden name for a wedding present.
27/30. My friend from high school decided to marry a crazy, hyper-critical girl that everybody hated. About two weeks before the wedding I started receiving phone calls from our close circle of friends. Everyone of them begged me to talk him out of the marriage.
I finally agreed to talk to him about a week before his nuptials but all he said was, “Why? I can’t get out of it now,” so I let it go and told everyone it was going to happen.
When the pastor asked about objections, about fifteen people in the audience started having a collective coughing fit that sound a lot like dogs barking, ‘Yes!’. The pastor and bride were visibly disturbed but nobody clearly stepped forward and the ceremony continued.
After two years of breaking his spirit and crushing his soul she left him for another victim.
28/30. My best friend had this actually happen at her wedding. Her husband’s mother was completely opposed to the marriage and wailed and cried throughout the entire ceremony. Now when I say wailed I mean it. We could barely hear the vows over her blubbering, and I was in the second row! It was ridiculous.
29/30. My mother-in-law never approved of our relationship because I am White and she’s Black. Through out our relationship, she tried hooking my now-wife up with Black men. She claimed she finally “came around” and helped us plan the wedding. Then proceeded to refuse to pay for anything that she promised to pay for, leaving the bill on us and my parents. In retrospect, we should have seen this coming.
At the wedding, she stood up during the objection part and was told very loudly to sit down by my father in law. Our paster didn’t even skip a beat, he just kept going.
30/30. Apparently both me and my sister protested my uncle getting remarried. We were both very young. Think toddlers teetering down the isle as flower girls that look like they are gonna biff it at any moment. We both got the same message while the priest was talking about them “giving.” We both thought uncle was being given away like a present and that we would never see him again, so we both started bawling. Words were still not a thing for me, but my sister managed to articulate something along the lines of, “No, I don’t want to give away Uncle Bill. He didn’t do anything bad.”
Thankfully my uncle and new auntie were very understanding and found the whole thing adorable. They are still married, 25 years later.