35. All my friends “oops!” babies were actually calculated plans executed by their girlfriends, and the birth control “didn’t work” because she had stopped taking it for 2 months and didn’t tell him on purpose.
34. Turns out “a little too drunk” actually meant “really drunk and screaming in the kitchen that she just wants to die and for everything to end”. She stopped drinking for a long time after that and got better but I didn’t really think anything of it because I was a kid, you know? I didn’t find out what was really going on with my mom until I was 20 and she doesn’t know that I know.
33. That my brother and his wife were screwing while her first husband was on his death bed. And that she blatantly lied to my brother about her being unable to have children, so their first child is not a miracle baby/accident, to her anyway.
32. When I first got married my sister in law was living with us. One day, while she was at work, she called and asked that I email something to her from her desktop. This was prior to texting and email on phones being so prevalent. So, I used her laptop and her outlook to send the attachment. I checked the sent items to make sure it went through with the attachment and found an email she had sent to someone of a bunch of pictures of her with lit candles shoved up her butt. I never said anything but had to start hiding all of our stick candles in fear.
31. I found out my dad is gay and has been cheating on my mom with another a man.
30. I know of a single mom, struggling to pay bills, he ex husband quit his job so he doesn’t pay child support. She drives over to the next state to strip for money. I know she’s ashamed and I’d never tell her or anyone else. She’s trying to finish school while working another job too.
29. One of my buddies has banged his girlfriends mom numerous times and is still sending very inappropriate text/emails with her. She’s married and has a very nice family, so it’s especially wrong. It’s tough to see the girlfriend around and not say anything.
28. I come from a very religious family, and through Snapchat’s recommended friends from my contacts, found out my cousin runs a fairly popular porn account.
27. Found out that one of my best friends is an illegal immigrant and is totally unaware of it. Slept over one night, went to grab a drink from the kitchen, and her parents were talking about how they might bring it up to her since she was getting older. The irony is that she frequently talks about how illegal immigrants should immigrate legally, and that it’s unfair her parents had to spend the time and money to get here the right way.
26. One of those porn sidebar ads used a picture of one of my friends.
25. Something I would never tell my ex…I always knew the exact moment she fell asleep because she would fart.
24. My mom has a vibrator. But I don’t actually think she knows what it does and instead uses it on her face (I’ve seen her turn it on and use it to massage a few muscles on her face and neck.) I think if she did, it wouldn’t be sitting right on her nightstand where anyone could see it.
She’s a little old Chinese lady who probably took the words “Personal massager” as a literal translation.
I don’t have the heart to tell her what it is.
23. Not recent, but I used to be in a Quake clan with another guy, we would play night and day. Lots of great matches, smack talk, conversations late into the night. I found out one day from a mutual friend that his mother was dying of cancer — slowly and very painfully. That’s what he was dealing with every day when he wasn’t death-matching.
I never told him I knew. I figured sometimes you just need to escape from reality. Gaming was the one place where he could forget his troubles and not have to think about them. If he wanted me to know he would have told me.
So instead we laughed a lot and talked about Quake and I was happy to be there for him.
22. Found out a few years ago that a friends sister is really his mother and that his parents are really his grandparents. His real mom was so young that they took the baby in and raised him for their own so as not to spoil her future. They are all kind of messed up now unfortunately.
21. Found out that my wife hates eggs because that’s basically all they ate for a few months so her parents could afford to splurge on her debut.
20. I had a friend that I worked with who had two faces. One was very kind and she acted like everything she did was in my best interest. The other one was very competitive and would do anything to reach her goals, including cutting others down. One day I found an email she wrote our boss, saying bad things about me. I never told her. I just looked into her eyes when she talked, knowing full well that there was a world of bullcrap behind all of that. I was able to cut her out of my life as of recently.
19. I discovered that an employee who claimed to be a Yale grad on his resume had never stepped foot on the campus.
He was liked by the boss and some coworkers – so confronting him on this would’ve caused quite a scene.
18. I found out my dad won the lottery. He won around $250,000 and has never told me or my brothers. It took some digging to find so I never told anyone because I figure if he hasn’t told his family then he doesn’t want anyone to know.
17. When I was super young, maybe 6 or 7, my family was at a New Years Eve party when someone told me that my mom was a little too drunk so my stepdad was going to take her home and that I was going to stay at the friend’s house we were at.
Turns out “a little too drunk” actually meant “really drunk and screaming in the kitchen that she just wants to die and for everything to end”. She stopped drinking for a long time after that and got better but I didn’t really think anything of it because I was a kid, you know? I didn’t find out what was really going on with my mom until I was 20 and she doesn’t know that I know.
16. A while ago my friend’s sister gave me her old phone because mine broke and I could not afford a new one. All the numbers and everything were cleared, but there were a couple pictures of her boobs. So I’ve seen my friends sister’s boobs.
15. That he got pegged by his fianc. He is a good friend of mine, but she and I are even closer, and she got drunk one night and told me. He’s a pretty conservative, traditional guy in most outward ways. So, I keep it to myself and congratulate him on getting his rocks off in a way that’s a little out of the box for him.
14. A while ago my friend’s sister gave me her old phone because mine broke and I could not afford a new one. All the numbers and everything were cleared, but there were a couple pictures of her boobs. So I’ve seen my friends sister’s boobs.
13. That he got pegged by his fianc. He is a good friend of mine, but she and I are even closer, and she got drunk one night and told me. He’s a pretty conservative, traditional guy in most outward ways. So, I keep it to myself and congratulate him on getting his rocks off in a way that’s a little out of the box for him.
12. My boss is going through a divorce and is selling it at work like it is the first time ever and how devastated he is and is using it to gain favor points to get away with coming in 3 hours late and leaving early every day.
Not saying that it might not be devastating, but, allow me to go on.
By the tracking of his schedule I have been keeping (Since no one else does) he is working about 15-20 hours per week for the past 4 months.
I checked into him, he has been married 4 times previously, he had never been the petitioner for any of the divorces including this one, the deed on his house has been changed several times to add & remove each wife from it as well as re-financed to buy them out.
He is a severe alcoholic and a jerk in general.
11. I teach improv and found out one of my students is a former Senator who had to give up his seat due to allegations of cheating on his wife with young girls. It’s so weird cause he’s such a nice guy, and I’ve met his family.
10. My roommate punched himself in the eye and faked being jumped, because his girlfriend was about to break up with him. They are now married.
9. A close friend that I roomed with at college once had me log into their email to print out tickets. Found the tickets but also a decent amount of evidence that he had a strong scat fetish. Not sure that there is ever a way to bring that up in conversion.
8. I know my dad, who is a pastor by the way, has had multiple affairs with various women. He’s married with 4 kids including me and he has no idea that I’m aware.
Kinda don’t care tho. Got my own problems and I don’t judge. He’s a grown ass man. But he he ever comes at me sideways he’s getting hit with that stuff.
7. My sister still had the keys to her ex-husband’s house. Whenever he was out of town, she would find a sitter for their daughter for a few hours and go to his house/their old house to look through his computer and tablet to see what he was up towho he was talking to, what he was saying about her, etc. Mind you he was her ex-husband because she had a six month affair with someone else and, at the time she was doing all this, she was still dating the guy she had an affair with. They’re engaged now and their wedding is in April, but I wonder if the fiance knows she would do things like that all the time! She doesn’t know that I know this though.
6. A coworker is dating a former porn star that has started escorting while he’s at work. I’m not sure he knows.
5. Coworker had really off behavior. Had a spot out by the dumpster he’d smoke dope at; constantly tried showing me pics of his pet snake feeding on rats; would stop & stare at young female customers and make weird remarks about them. I did a little internet sleuthing and found out he was a registered sex offender; he’d molested his step daughter. His new address was a city away from the old address. On a hunch, I made a call to the local Parole Officer, and yep, he hadn’t registered in a year. His P.O. rolled him up and sent him back to jail a week later. I never told anyone how his P.O. found him.
4. I’m in a fantasy football league at work. I was over on reddit saw a post that was identical to a question my work buddy asked me that day. Looked at his username and he used his real first name. Checked his user history, and yup, it was him.
Instead of spoiling it with a “Ha, gotcha buddy!” right then and there, I’ve been following his posts and giving him bad advice on drops he should make, and lopsided trades he should specifically make with me.
This all started 2 years ago, and he’s since dropped out of contention and is now a basement dwelling bottom feeder at about 9th or 10th place.
3. One of my good friends is HIV positive. I found out through the grape-vine, and immediately understood that I shouldn’t know that about him. I’ve never said anything about it to him, but I’ve made a distinct effort to be more available to him as a friend. I figure if he ever wants to tell me, he will. If not, he could still use some kindness in his life.
2. I found the penis pics my (now) son-in-law sent my daughter. She had backed up her computer to an external hard drive and didn’t realize they went, too.
1. One of my coworkers cheated on his wife and ended up being caught. His wife gave him an ultimatum of either divorce or convincing another one of our coworkers “Foots”, nicknamed for his size 16 feet, to sleep with her. Not only did he get “Foots” to sleep with her, he also apparently watched and enjoyed it. All fine and dandy until the son started working with us as well, it’s something I could never tell him and I assume he’d never want to know.